


As Honor Burns

by Seidkona



Series: Honorverse [1]
Category: Before Crisis: Final Fantasy VII, Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Crossing Timelines, Gen, M/M, Multi, Possible Threesome, Pseudoscience, Psychological Drama, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-03
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2017-12-28 05:48:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 36
Words: 166,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/988437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seidkona/pseuds/Seidkona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Battle worn and tired, Cloud Strife was used to carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Over time, the Planet began to crumble and slowly the burden lightened, but at a terrible cost. Now, Cloud's traded peace for that burden restored. He may not be alone anymore, but he has something to lose. To keep it safe, all he has to do is save the world... Again.</p>
<p>Updates Postponed till after Thanksgiving due to unexpected company! My apologies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings - Some Yaoi and Het, partially AU, Violence, Language, Angst, Character Death, Dark Themes, eventual Time/Dimension Play (Some is side-canon related), Unbetaed.
> 
> More will develop as the story progresses. Pairing is mainly Cloud/Zack for now. Cloud/Aeris(/Zack) gets a special mention.

In the years after Meteorfall, Edge had stood as a beacon of human perseverance and willpower. It symbolized the survival of the entire planet and a species back from the brink of extinction. Triumph over the forces of evil.

Most citizens had a pride-filled story of their own recovery process. Building new homes, schools, businesses... It had been hard, but all the better for it. With no mako energy to pollute the skies above, many of the people of Edge would stare up at night and consider thanking the planet for the meteor crisis. It had, after all, liberated them in more ways than one. For all the lives lost, they created new ones that would never know the oppression of Shinra. These children would know the sight of the stars that had once been hidden by thick mako smog.

Then the swarm came; Hojo's monstrosities. They filled the streets and dragged people from their homes. Corpses lay where they fell and no one got the chance to move them, because the swarm never stopped.

* * *

A year later and the bones of those who died in the purge still sat exactly where they had then. Those lucky enough to get out brought almost nothing with them and the homes were still filled with personal belongings in a frozen state of normalcy long past. Shoes by the doors, clothes on the floor, baths full of water long stagnated, and bones of pets left behind.

But in those morbid pseudo-mausoleums, there were veritable hoards of canned food that were still very much important to those humans who yet clung to life.

It was the hope for rations that prompted the monthly excursion into the dead city. A small team of soldiers, all trained to get in and get out as quickly as possible, was sent in to recover as much as they could. Anything else of use was fair game as well. Clothing, medicine, first aid supplies, and more. Some of it came down to life or death need, but other items were just luxuries that people sorely missed.

However, these trips into Edge were incredibly dangerous. More often than not, the team came back missing a member. The city remained overrun by the same monsters that had culled the city in the first place. It had become common place to put the mission in the hands of only those who had nothing left to lose. These people figured that their death wish might at least save a few lives. Therefore, the party of scavengers was always sent off with hugs, cheers, and thanks from all of their comrades who felt it necessary to say their goodbyes just in case the worst happened.

Cloud had more than once contemplated volunteering himself for one of these missions, but it would no good to leave the militia wondering if their de facto leader was suicidal. There were already too many whispers of such things for his liking. It killed morale; no matter how correct the rumors were in the end. Besides, Tifa would never let him leave without making him regret it thoroughly first. He doubted even the solace of death would make up for the anger and hurt it would cause her to see him leave.

Admittedly, it's not like Cloud had much to fear on such a mission. He had long given up hope that he'd simply happen upon something strong enough to kill him. So, instead, he was forced to send his loyal soldiers off to do a duty that he could handle single-handedly with better results. A waste of resources. Lives for lives; leaving the group smaller each and every time. None of it made him happy to make the trade, and nothing ever would.

Things had progressively worsened over the past months. They'd been stuck for the whole year in this area due to the alarming concentration of monsters between them and the coast. With great care, Wutai had been able to send some aid through Kalm but even that was running short now. With no way to get the rest of the survivors to safety, the men were flat out refusing to leave. The soldiers were all husbands and fathers who wouldn't leave their families. It would be certain death for those unable to move anyway. Without the army to hold off the swarm, it'd close in on them within hours after they left.

A plan to ferry the survivors out slowly on the Highwind had fallen short when it became obvious that the amount of fuel available to them would never allow for the trip more than twice. Those two trips were being saved as a last resort at this point. And moving south to Junon was nearly impossible as well, with the mines occupied by a large faction of the swarm and the mountains impassable.

Many of the survivors were either rather young or old and sickly. Cloud had entertained getting rid of the sick in his darker moments. The children could be carried after all. Respiratory illnesses were common among the older people. These are the people who spent most of their lives in the heavily polluted Midgar and the dry, dusty plains were doing their lungs no favors.

Tifa and Marlene spent most of their day tending to these unfortunate souls. It took its toll on the both of them as they cried in each other's arms for hours after losing someone they'd been caring for. Cloud grew tired of the frequent bouts of tears as the noise disrupted his ability to listen for commotion during the night. He was in every sense the only warning system the camp had for impending attacks. His enhanced hearing allowed him significant warning before the loud creatures actually reached near enough to hurt anyone. However, the girls spending an evening crying generally made his attempts to listen for danger fruitless.

He couldn't hold it against them for very long though. After losing Denzel to Geostigma, they had become sensitive to illness related deaths.

The boy, that had become the son Tifa always wanted, was snatched from her life by the reemergence of the man who had killed her beloved father. If Tifa needed any more reason to despise Sephiroth, and everything he stood for, then Denzel's death had provided the nudge. Cloud had returned from putting his eternal burden to rest yet again to find her clutching the boy's body to her heart and sobbing. Cloud had merely been able to stare at the corpse mutely and hope that Tifa didn't look to him for support. She had, of course, because it was the logical thing to do. Like a coward, Cloud left town and didn't return for half a year.

By the time that he came back, Tifa had taken the hint and realized that Cloud was never going to adapt to being part of a family. A family meant losing, and Cloud was done losing those he loved. So instead, he blocked off his heart and operated like a machine. Tifa eventually accepted it, but it had broken her heart.

* * *

These were the things that Cloud thought about as he watched the scavenger party leave that day. He was perched on an outcropping with his sword at the ready. Most days were wasted away like this and Cloud had long since accepted it as a given in his life to be the watch dog for signs of danger. Every once in a long while, one of the survivors would bring him something to eat or drink. Some days, he'd accept it silently. Others, he'd flat out refuse to take it on the off-chance that no food would be coming back from Edge that month. People had quickly learned not to argue with him over such things. His mako eyes tended to scare off the most of them anyway.

At times, Cloud wondered if his eyes had simply become slitted like Sephiroth's but was too averse to checking in a mirror. Mirrors held a life of their own for Cloud that he was reluctant to face. When Tifa looked at herself in one, she saw nothing but her own reflection. When Cloud got weak enough to peer into one, he was as often faced with someone else as he was with himself. Naturally, it was the same person every time: Sephiroth. The false reflection even moved separately from his own movements. If there was another unfortunate enough to be in the vicinity, the reflection would stare at them as though it could simply reach out and kill them from inside the mirror. No one but Aeris had been able to see the illusion; Tifa only ever saw Cloud staring back at her.

A cynical smile crept across Cloud's face as he imagined others being privy to the disconcerting effect. He'd probably even use mirrors more often if it worked like that.

A low wail reached his ears and his head turned sharply in its general direction. He relaxed almost instantly as it was only a cremation taking place just outside the camp. The family of the dead soldier stood around and mourned their fallen loved one. Cloud staunchly noted that the pyre was made as he had ordered. The disposal of the dead was a tricky matter these days. At first they had been able to bury the dead but, as Hojo's tactics changed to include body snatching, they began to cremate the freshly dead to prevent their reanimation. Luckily for those unfortunate souls who died in the purge, Hojo didn't pick up the habit until they had decayed far too much for any sort of use.

Soft footfalls let Cloud know his tenuous privacy was already being breached.

"S-sir?" a young boy started in a weak voice. Cloud spared a glance at the frightened boy and gave a stiff nod. "My m-mom wanted me to g-give you some wa-water..."

Cloud accepted it mostly to get rid of the boy for both of their sakes. The moment the canteen left the boy's hands, he began sprinting away. Cloud could hear the mother admonish the boy a bit for the hasty exit, but she let it go rather quickly. Even she couldn't blame the child for being afraid of Cloud.

To think, these people had once considered him a hero. How laughable. Not that Cloud was in the habit of laughing often these days.

Their faith in him had faltered after he was not there to help fend off the swarm from overrunning Edge in the first place. He had arrived too late to do anything more than get Tifa and Marlene out with the rest of the survivors. Initially, their suspicions over his 'SOLDIER' past had inspired them to try and kick him out of the camp. Some implied heavily that he couldn't be trusted because of the mako surging in his veins. Nothing had come of the accusations though, as it became increasingly clear he was the only one in camp with the experience necessary to keep them alive. He corralled the best fighters and managed to get them in working order quick enough to keep everyone safe from the frequent attacks. Over the many months they held their camp together, they had slowly returned to believing him their leader; but not their hero. No, never again would they call him a hero.

A piece of Zack inside of him burned to have the glorified title back, but everything that made him Cloud was happier this way. It was easier to succeed when they expected less of him from the beginning.

Hours passed before he finally heard the claws of some runners raking across the dusty plains. Hojo's makonoids were not known for their subtlety. Thank the Lifestream for small miracles. Cloud stood quickly and took hold of his sword. There would be no time to spare as, from the sound of it, they were about to be hit with a fairly sizable attack.

The soldiers that were standing around the perimeter all turned their eyes to him as he moved. Cloud waved a hand in the air to signal that the troops should be at the ready for orders. Immediately, the camp burst into action as mothers scrambled to get their children to safety. Within moments the outside area was empty save for the nervous fighters. Cloud swept an eye over what they had left and began to plan. It tested knowledge he didn't even remember consciously learning. Whether he learned war tactics from Hojo or from Zack's memories, Cloud was never quite sure.

"Stevens," Cloud started quietly. The man stood taller and waited. "You'll take your men and station them to the Southwest. We need to be prepared in case a mob comes out of Edge or if the scavengers return early. Stay spread thinly. I want as much coverage as we can get. It sounds like nothing more than a group of runners, but I'm hearing at least 50." Stevens nodded stiffly and turned on his heel to move his men into position. He was the closest thing Cloud had to a second in command. He was a former SOLDIER 3rd class and possessed more fighting ability than the non-enhanced. Fortunately, that meant he took orders well.

"The rest of you, I want you to form a tight line to the Northwest of camp. No more than a sword's length between you. The runners will be trying to break our line to reach the inner camp. We won't let them get that far. Carlson, you'll take yours and form the front line. Abrams and Peres you'll take second and third, respectively. Shaw, take yours and set roving guards on the outskirts of camp. You'll catch anything that manages to break through."

The leaders of each group began ushering their men into position immediately. Satisfied, Cloud returned to his tent to prepare. Brushing past the flaps of the tent, he opened up his cache of materia.

With little thought, he slotted a mastered Restore and Barrier. It was mostly for the benefit of the soldiers as he never needed to use them for himself. His eyes fell on one that glowed just a little brighter than the rest and he suddenly had the urge to slot this one as well. Cloud picked up his mastered Comet and turned it over in his hand. It was almost never needed in battle and its power was incredible (and hard to control) when it was used. Unable to shake the feeling that he'd better have it on hand, he slotted it as well.

"Cloud!" The flaps of the tent flew open and swung closed very quickly behind him. With a sigh, Cloud stood to acknowledge Tifa. She was out of breath, as though she'd run the length of the camp to get here. "Cloud," she started again, calmer this time. "What's going on?"

"Routine attack. It's nothing to worry about yet," he said in a calm voice. There was no reason to give her any sort of indication that something was wrong. She would just worry needlessly. As he moved to leave, he gave a small kick to the top of the box that stored his materia to close it. Tifa looked frustrated at his answer. Not surprising; she was always frustrated by his answers.

"Okay, but you always say that. Do you need me out there? I can—"

"No. We'll handle it. Keep the children quiet," he said smoothly as he cut her off. She knew he didn't want her on the battlefield but she never stopped asking anyway. Annoyed, she huffed and sat down on the cot gracelessly. He chose to ignore her as he headed to join the rest of the soldiers.

Cloud was pleased to note that they had followed his orders perfectly and it appeared that the camp was well guarded on the inside too. With the passing time, the cacophony of monsters was slowly getting louder. Cloud leant against a large rock, off to the side of the lined up men and closed his eyes. Seeing him relaxed seemed to improve morale before a battle. In his experience, tense soldiers didn't make for very good fighters.

Barely thirty minutes passed before a cry alerted him that the monsters could now be seen on the horizon. He opened one eye to survey the incoming threat and did a quick count. Once again, he had been correct in his estimate; fifty to sixty runners. It was nothing to worry about, as they'd faced worse odds a hundred times over.

Out of boredom more than anything, he chose to return to his meditating to pass the final time before they arrived. He let his mind drift off with no particular direction. If he thought of nothing long enough, she always found a way to show up. Moments later, his mind filled with soft green as though the Lifestream itself was flowing through his consciousness. It soothed him to the core and he imagined himself wading into the green and being consumed by it; like floating on his back in the ocean.

Something wasn't right, he realized slowly. Doing this generally filled him with the sense of being calmly rocked by the otherworldly waves. Today, it was as though he was being tossed from side to side by them.

His eyes flew open as a scream filled the air.

The soldiers had all turned towards the screech with terrified faces. It had come from the _opposite_ side of camp. Cloud gave a signal for them to hold their positions as he ran to see what had happened. His brain was still foggy and confused from being pulled out of his dream state so abruptly. He ground to a halt at the northeastern edge of camp and saw a small group of women pointing and crying loudly. Growling low in his throat at the distracting noise, he pushed them aside to see what they were looking at. And what he saw left him cold.

There, far too close for comfort, was a black line moving towards camp at a slow but consistent speed. Horrifyingly enough, they were close enough for Cloud to see faces. At least a hundred dead and risen on their way from _Kalm_. A mix of Wutai soldiers and Kalm's citizens who had been holding out to the North. From the numbers, Cloud reasoned that the entire town must have fallen.

Cursing, he turned and ordered the women back to camp. When they were far enough away, he stopped and listened as carefully as he could. All he could hear was the sound of the incoming runners. A hand to the ground was the only way for Cloud to feel these new enemies. He snarled and rushed back to his lined up soldiers.

The runners were covering the sound of the slower moving and quieter dead, and, because they had less distance to travel, they had been able to get close enough undetected. He was going to have to spread his lines incredibly thin to even have a chance to repel an attack of this caliber. He considered removing the line guarding the Southwest but the sight of a sheet white Stevens, who was heading in the same direction as he was, stopped his thoughts dead in their tracks. Stevens finally noticed Cloud coming back from the Northeast and he cast a terrified glace between where Cloud was and where he should be.

"Please, Strife, _please_ … Please tell me there's nothing coming from up there," he asked in a voice filled with horror.

"What's the situation on the South?"

Stevens ran a hand over his face at Cloud's obvious evasion. "We've… We've got at least forty flying _things_ coming from Edge. Looks like twenty or so of our 'lost' scavengers on their way home and about twenty more runners sitting at the outskirts of the city. They're just _waiting_ , Strife. You've got to know what that means."

Cloud's whole body felt numb. Eighty enemies to the Southwest, over a hundred coming from the Northeast, and at least fifty to the Northwest. Hojo waited them out till he had enough firepower to take them down in one go. If the runners from Edge were waiting… That meant they were keeping quiet specifically to keep Cloud from being able to hear their approach. Flying makonoids? Cloud hadn't been aware that those even existed. Moving through the air would most likely make them quiet movers like the dead. It wasn't surprising that he never heard them over the small army of runners sent as a distraction.

"We're going to die today, aren't we Strife?"

Cloud looked at Stevens and wished he could lie to the man who had served so loyally all this time. A nod was all he could manage in the end. Stevens slumped and buried his face in his hands.

"Round the men up… Tell them… Tell them to form a complete barrier around the camp. We'll be surrounded anyway. Make sure they say goodbye to their families. We've got twenty minutes at best," Cloud said softly as he pinched the bridge of his nose between two fingers. Stevens didn't bother wasting any more time as he ran to pass the message along. Cloud returned to his tent to see Tifa and Marlene one more time.

The girls were sitting on the cot and talking as calmly as they could despite their white knuckles. They knew something was happening when they heard the scream. Cloud was appreciative that, for once, Tifa had stayed put. They looked at him the second he walked in, but his face gave away nothing as they eagerly looked for good news of any kind.

Solemnly, he walked closer and knelt down beside Marlene. Being the perceptive girl that she was, she immediately burst into tears. Tifa grabbed her up into her arms and tried to calm her down. Cloud put his hand on her shoulder and coaxed her into looking at him. In her terror and distress, she fisted her hands in his shirt and clung tightly. While he tried to look reassuring, he knew it was most likely a lost cause. Carefully, he lifted a hand and untied Aeris' ribbon from his arm. With practiced hands, he tied it around her wrist. Aeris had taught him how to make a passable bow when she had been alive. Marlene touched it and held her arm to her chest. He pressed a kiss to her temple and whispered that her father loved her very much. She threw her arms around him and hugged him as though she'd never get another chance. In truth, she probably wouldn't.

Tifa's eyes were riveted on Cloud's face as he pulled away from Marlene. He could see her fear, but comforting her would be much harder than the girl. He stood and motioned for her to follow him outside. She nodded shakily and offered her hand for him to help her stand.

After pulling her up, he turned to leave. Marlene grabbed his sleeve before he could step away. "But… Cloud? What will you have to remember Aeris?" Her eyes were huge and wet, but he was relieved to see the innocence that was never truly taken away from her. At least she could still believe in eternal peace in the Lifestream.

After a short pause, he raised his hand to his neck and tugged on a silver chain he wore tucked inside his shirt. As he ran his fingers over the small loop threaded on the chain, he allowed himself to smile a weak, but real, smile for the first time in many months. He held it out till the chain was pulled taut. On the simple chain was a beautiful diamond ring. The band resembled a woven vine and was studded with small diamonds. The setting was reminiscent of a blooming flower with a large diamond sitting in the middle.

> _"Oh Cloud, it's perfect."_

As his heart clenched in longing, his eyes slipped closed for a second as he imagined her bright and smiling face as he'd slipped it onto her finger. The fireworks colored the area of the gondola as they exploded below and around us. He didn't understand what she had meant then, but… when it was too late, and he was left wondering if she had only loved the pieces of Zack she had recognized in him but with no way to ask her… he realized what she was saying then.

> _"I think I must have seen him again, in you… But you're different. Things are different… Cloud… I'm searching for you. I want to meet you. What I mean is…. I want to meet… you."_

A part of him selfishly hoped… That after she had come to know the real him, that she would have still loved him.

Tifa spared one glance at the ring and rushed out of the tent with a sob. It had cut at her heart to know that Cloud had truly loved Aeris, but couldn't love her.

Marlene's eyes flicked between the ring and the flaps of the tent that Tifa had disappeared through. Cloud put a hand on her head for one more minute and then followed Tifa outside. He found her clutching at her arms and crying. For a moment, his emotions acted as though they existed for once and he was overcome with sympathy. Truthfully, not loving Tifa had always been one of Cloud's biggest regrets. She definitely deserved the happiness it would have brought her.

"So… This is it? After everything, this is how we die? Is there really no hope? Maybe, if I helped?"

"Tifa… Don't leave Marlene," he said softly _. You wouldn't be able to change anything. We'll be fighting till there are none of us left anyway. If there's a chance, we'll find it._ He wished he could have said everything he wanted to, because maybe it would have given her some comfort. Yet, his throat just stopped working for him.

Her tearful eyes met his and she lunged forward suddenly. It was his only warning before she pressed her lips to his. He stood ridged and let her do as she wanted. It did no good, as she still sobbed brokenly when she pulled back.

He half expected her to say something else. Instead she punched his shoulder with all her might. Cloud barely moved and the wicked bruise that would have blossomed was instantly erased by the mako inside. Without another word, she turned away from him and reentered the tent. Cloud was grateful; she had let him off the hook easy for once and assumed Cloud wouldn't be able to handle any meaningful sort of goodbye.

* * *

Cloud walked back to the Southwest edge of the camp in a daze. The men were already in position and battle ready. Forcing his mind to concentrate, his eyes focused on the flying monsters that were barely moments from reaching them. They didn't appear to be feathered. In fact, they were rather leathery in appearance. It was no surprise and it gave no clue as to what they were before they were tainted. Runners were just mutated behemoths that had skin hardened to the point of being armored.

The sound of the impending conflict was starting to become deafening to Cloud. Claws in dirt, sobs and hyperventilated breaths, flapping wings, and the pounding heartbeats of the soldiers near him. He could feel Jenova closing in like a tightening noose. Every cell in his body cried out to unite with her; a sensation Cloud knew well.

The runners arrived in the Northwest as Cloud heard the sound of tearing flesh and clanging steel. The men around him lifted their weapons and started muttering prayers.

Cloud just closed his eyes and smiled faintly. War was something he knew how to handle.

The smile didn't fade even as he charged Comet 2.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED: October 7, 2013. Minor structure changes and descriptions. No scenes added.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Unbetaed. Minor Het and Yaoi.
> 
> Important: Blockquotes can be both memories or Zack/Aeris speaking directly to Cloud in his mind.

The burn of Comet's power traveled up the length of his arm as he poured his MP into his blade and the sphere glowed like the sun in its slot, but Cloud's eyes were focused in on the winged abominations that were now swooping in to claw at his men. He felt the spell beg for release but kept fueling until it seemed as though he was going to summon Meteor itself.

The ground shook like a Quake had been cast as Cloud released the spell on the monsters. Comet tore through the sky and took out every single flying bastard. A murmur of shock spread across the group as the men all turned to look at Cloud with wide eyes. He let his half-crazed smile finally slip into a more natural smirk as he lifted his sword in preparation of the fight ahead.

At the sight of the falling fliers, the runners hiding in the shadows of Edge began flooding out of the ruined city. Their clawed feet allowed them to move at a deadly speed, eclipsing the progress of the dead scavengers in minutes. Still, it was too slow for Cloud's tastes. He fished in his pocket for his keys and ran back to the center of camp where Fenrir was waiting.

The engine purred despite the disuse when he started her up. Pushing First Tsurugi into the compartment and putting on his sunglasses, he twisted the throttle and took off back towards the incoming runners. The men were smart enough to dodge him as he sped past them. A good plan, considering Cloud tended to lose himself in thought while driving Fenrir. It was easy to kick up dust just walking on the plains, but Fenrir created a trail that extended for a 30 yards out behind the bike. Cloud relished in the feeling of the minute particles and the harsh wind on his face.

The runners locked onto Cloud and he could hear their snarls now. His eyes narrowed at their snapping jaws and mako-tainted drool; their tails cracking like whips behind them. He grinned again as he forced the compartment holding his sword to open. His hand wrapped tightly around the grip and yanked it free. The high whistle of the blade cutting the air, as they destroyed what little distance remained between them and the runners, was music to his ears.

He was going to die today, and that was something to celebrate.

He turned sharply and used the momentum to carry him and the bike forward while drifting. The first runner reared up to meet him and thrust its claws at his throat. Cloud ran it through the underbelly and cut it clean in half; showering him with the amber blood that Hojo's monsters had developed. It burned his skin lightly where it touched, but Cloud ignored it. A second runner attacked at his right but got caught up in the front wheels. He unlocked one of the side blades and flicked his wrist to straighten it. In the same motion, he buried it into the throat of the second runner. The beast let out a horrific death howl that was partially drowned out by the men watching from camp shouting their praise.

Cloud pressed his foot down on the side of Fenrir and launched himself off the bike, which knocked three more runners down as it kept sliding away. Half of them kept heading for camp, but the three that got stunned by Fenrir and about four more decided that Cloud was a more interesting enemy than the soldiers behind them.

Cloud shook what was left of the first dead one off his blade and pulled it back up into a defensive position in time for another to charge him. With the blade between him and the mutated behemoth, he was just barely able to keep his face safe from the jaws and claws. A snarl from behind him was his only warning before pain blossomed across his back. Cloud swung his sword around, slicing through the runner in front and using the weight of the sword to pivot his body away from the one behind him. Bring up the sword to defend and using the side blade to attack, when the runner swiped forward, Cloud used his strength to cut through the armored limb. It staggered back from the grievous wound and he used this opportunity to drive the smaller blade through its skull.

The last five were beginning to circle him as he pulled his blade out of the corpse. On top of that, the dead scavengers were now within range to charge his position as well.

Cloud stood up and shook his head to clear his thoughts. A quick glance back at the camp showed that the men were handling the other runners, which had continued past him, just fine on this side. It appeared only a single man had fallen, but several were bleeding heavily. Remembering his own wound now that the adrenaline had settled into the usual battle-high, Cloud was almost annoyed to feel the flesh stitching together already.

"Oh well," he thought. "Plenty of time yet."

He was preparing to engage the remaining runners and the dead when his body warmed over inexplicably. It was like sinking into a hot bath only from the inside out. He put the side blade back into the main body of First Tsurugi and lifted it as though he was holding the Buster Sword. His heart spasmed gently as he thought back to many years ago.

> "… _The price of freedom sure is steep._ "

Cloud smiled mostly to himself as he recognized Zack's presence. It wasn't the first time he'd been joined by his former friend, but, from the glowing warmth in his soul, he knew this would be the last.

The runners gave up waiting for him to make the first move and converged on him all at once. With practiced ease, he cut down all five in one swing as he cut right through the leftmost to the rightmost. The cut wasn't clean at all and the monsters howled and clawed desperately at the dirt as their bodies gave up on them.

Cloud locked onto the dead that had broken out into a run to meet him in combat. Their faces ranged from easily remembered to being decayed beyond recognition. The living men had a lot of trouble killing their, albeit dead, friends, but Cloud had never had that issue. His heart was far too hardened to be trouble with such things. He cut them all down one after another. They all scratched and clawed and bit at him in an attempt to do damage but he was immune to the toxin they transmitted through contact. Everything fell like wheat before the scythe. Blood splattered across his face and hair and dripped slowly down his neck. His eyes glowed like the sky above as the mako churned in his body.

With the battle finished for him on this side of camp, he looked to see his men finishing the last of the runners. They cheered at him as though they were actually going to win. Putting it out of his mind, he remounted Fenrir and headed for the Northwestern edge.

* * *

The Northwest had been nearly decimated by the runners that had ploughed into the fragile line. The fifty, that would have been no trouble for all of the men together, had torn through the skeleton crew left behind. Now barely a handful of men were all that remained to keep them out of the inner camp. Either way, Cloud was pleased to note that they had taken many of the runners with them.

As soon as he was in sight, the runners turned their attention to him and attempted to ambush him. It was about twelve left in total. He gave his last free seconds to cast a Cure3 and Wall on the men still standing, and then they were on him.

Claws found purchase in his shoulder and a pair of jaws clamped down on his left forearm. The yelp and instant release of those jaws when the beast got a taste of the mako inside _him_ almost inspired a laugh. It seemed like Cloud was still too strange to even be eaten by mindless creatures. Terrified at his lack of movement, his men shouted frantically at him to respond to the attack, but Cloud ignored them for the moment. He would kill the runners; he just wanted to let them do some worthwhile damage while they had a chance.

> " _Cloud!"_

All good things must come to an end, of course. His eyes went green as his body began to move of its own accord.

Where twelve runners had been a second before, now lay a pile of carnage. The ground hissed as the blood stained the earth below his feet; like the planet was being wounded by the tainted fluids. The men had all stopped yelling and instead stood there quietly. Their dirty and bloodied faces were frozen in horror. He just closed his eyes and savored the feeling of his wounds, because it wasn't ten seconds later that they began to close. He looked to the sky and felt his slitted pupils return to normal. How depressing; he wasn't even allowed to feel human pain anymore.

Cloud returned First Tsurugi to his back and stalked towards the camp. The men all cleared a path for him as he passed them. Things didn't look good; they had lost more than three quarters of what was stationed on this end. He walked briskly through the middle of camp and eyed each sealed tent to be certain that everyone was safe. Stopping in front of his own tent, he listened carefully and was relieved to hear both Marlene and Tifa's heartbeats inside. At least he didn't have to worry about them.

He heard the sounds of the Northeastern battle long before he reached it. The retching men who had either been infected or caught the scent of the decaying enemies and the sobs of those unable to bear cutting another creature in human form down.

This end of camp fared no better in terms of survival. There had been many more enemies and these were even more difficult to fight then a runner. Cloud could spot at least seven men who had been infected and would die in the night if they didn't die in battle. Their faces were white as sheets and their hair was soaked with sweat. Dying of the infection was a merciless mix of quick and slow; too quick to come to terms with it, but too slow to save you from hours of agonizing pain. In fact, the only good thing about the reanimated dead was that they were very simple to take down, so only about two dozen still remained. Nevertheless, that was still a dozen more than they had healthy men.

Cloud pulled out his gun and used the last shots he had to take out five. Those were the last bullets Cloud had been able to round up over the course of months. He didn't figure he'd need them after today anyway. They may have been able to take out the attacking monsters, but Hojo wouldn't have sent this many if he didn't intend to win. Still, Cloud helped finish off the last of the dead.

Even with his help, three more were infected. After it was said and done, and they had nothing left to fight, they all begged him to finish them off so their families wouldn't have to watch the decline. Knowing something of the mercy of death, he granted those wishes.

With the attack just barely repelled and more than half of their forces completely decimated, Cloud had to wonder… What would be the final straw? Believing the battle over, the men all rushed to the middle of camp to reunite with their families as Cloud scanned the horizon. Seeing nothing, he turned and walked slowly to where everyone was hugging and crying.

The noise agitated him but he allowed them their moment. Tifa and Marlene had joined in the pseudo-celebration. They hugged tightly and their faces brightened with hope that should have been crushed so long ago. Sometimes, Cloud marveled over the strength of human will. How they could manage to be happy at a time like this, he would never truly understand.

"This can't be over. He wouldn't bet it all on a battle he was going to lose."

Cloud angled his head slightly towards Stevens, who had approached him from behind. The man was soaked in sweat and two colors of blood. He wore an intensely worried expression that made Cloud wonder if he should be feeling something similar. Turning his eyes back to the celebrating soldiers, Cloud just watched them and ignored Stevens. For once, he had nothing to go on; no precognition and no forewarning. Whatever was going to happen would be as much as surprise to Cloud as anyone else.

> " _Be careful._ "

It was Zack again who was talking. A little surprising considering his connection to Aeris had always been stronger when using the Lifestream as a conduit. That wasn't to say Zack couldn't contact him, but it was always much fainter than this.

" _Doesn't matter how careful I am, Zack. It won't change what happens._ "

> " _Maybe not… But a guy's gotta try, right?_ "

His lips turned up slightly at the side. Cloud half-wondered from Zack's tone if his messages weren't more for Aeris' benefit. He got a sense that his friend missed him enough to want Cloud to join them in the Lifestream. If nothing else, he knew Zack knew that it's what Cloud really wanted. The only thing keeping him from trying to force things was that he couldn't abandon Tifa and Marlene like that. It wasn't like his previous attempts at suicide had worked out anyway, but today might be different.

> " _It's not your time yet, Cloud,_ " Aeris whispered softly into his mind.

More warmth spread across his body. It was like she was wrapping her arms around his neck. Zack's arms settled around his waist from behind.

" _Might not get a choice this time._ " She laughed gently. A sound full of sunlight and life despite the circumstances.

> " _As if you'd choose differently, my silly love._ "

He felt her lips ghost over his own and his eyes slid shut in longing. Zack pressed his own very carefully just below his ear. They had long come to an understanding of the complicated thread of love that connected their hearts.

To the outside world, Cloud appeared to be in his own thoughts. But on the inside, it was like his heart was coming alive again. The ethereal sensations of their hands, lips, bodies, and their scents consumed him. Lilies and rainforest. It was the moments like these that Cloud felt the closest to whole that he'd been since Aeris died. His hand came up to run his fingers over the ring again. He pulled the second chain around his neck free of his clothing and brushed his thumb over Zack's dog tags.

The ground began to rumble beneath his feet but he tried to ignore it just a little longer. The other survivors started to look around wildly and voice their confusion while Stevens took off running for the edge of camp again. Slowly, the feeling of being near them began to recede. Two soft kisses were all he was left with as they evaporated entirely. His hands clenched into useless fists at the sensation of loss.

> " _Not today, Cloud. Soon… But not today._ "

He released a shaky breath and cursed. How much longer would he have to wait?

"Strife! _Strife!_ Get your shit together. Something is coming and I can't get a visual."

Eyes snapping open, he turned to see a much winded Stevens once again at his side. The rumbling had grown more noticeable now and Cloud could feel the ground threatening to break underfoot. Piecing things together quickly, he stared numbly at the dirt as the shaking became violent. Stevens followed his gaze with a horrified expression.

"Sweet Gaia, it's _BENEATH US!_ "

Stevens would have said more… If a giant spike hadn't come out of the ground at that moment and run through his throat.

Red blood hit Cloud's cheek as the man sputtered on the end of the spiked limb. The former 3rd only thrashed once before going limp. The world erupted into chaos as every living thing in the camp began to scream. Cloud just stood there as more spikes emerged from the ground before finding grip to pull the full body free of the earth. The mouth was all teeth and the spiked legs were almost spindly next to the gargantuan body. It almost looked like a Land Worm that had grown legs. Even worse, almost every leg had a body or two speared on it while the head was whipping around and grabbing another person as soon as it swallowed down the previous one.

"Cloud, _DO SOMETHING_!"

Tifa's shriek propelled his body into motion. He lifted First Tsurugi and brought it down on the monster behind its head. His blade pierced its flesh but the wall of muscle under the armored body didn't allow it to cut much further. Snarling in frustration, he repeated the action with not much success. He was wasting time and he knew it. The jabbing legs were not just picking off soldiers, but innocent people as well. Civilians scrambled to get away but didn't get very far as the body swiped back and forth.

Changing tactics, he tried to take off the legs one by one. He managed to cut one off, but it also took two swings to manage. Frustrated by an enemy too armored for his strength to carry him to victory, Cloud found himself at a loss for what to do. He looked all over as though the answer would just present itself suddenly. His eyes landed on Tifa whose mouth was in motion and her face was screwed up in fear. She was pointing to something behind him.

He considered turning around to see what had her so upset, but found himself unable to move. Looking down, he found a twitching leg had been shoved directly through his back and out his chest. Cloud looked up again to see Tifa faint on the spot.

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Cloud grasped the end of the leg, which was much thinner than at the base, and snapped it clean off. The giant worm withdrew the rest of the leg from him in response to the pain. He turned back to the monster and glared angrily. The hole was not much bigger than what Sephiroth had done to him with Masamune, which meant he would _heal_.

Unslotting Comet, Cloud stalked towards the creature as it faced him with its ugly mouth and lunged. He brought his sword up in time to catch the jaws and forced his sword fully into the maw. The teeth reached out to him in a vain attempt to get a hold.

With a vicious smile, Cloud shoved his entire arm down the throat in front of him. The worm stopped moving for a moment as if in shock but soon recovered in time to thrash around with renewed vigor. The body began to swell and Cloud was sure, if the fucker was capable of vocalizations, it would be screaming right about now. Those still able to stand began to rise and fixed their eyes on the distressed makonoid and on Cloud who looked far too happy for being half way in the beast's mouth.

His arm had begun to burn from the blood inside the monster and from the power he was charging so Cloud just widened his grin and whispered one word.

" _Die._ "

The worm exploded from the inside out as Cloud released the Comet 2 he had charged. The guts and pieces of the dead people it had devoured rained down on the ruined camp. Cloud didn't even move; his arm still extended, sword still up, and the materia still glowing gently.

* * *

This time no one cheered. In the space of one day, the camp had been taken down to barely more than thirty survivors.

Slowly, people began to collect their thoughts and the tears started to flow. The strongest collected the bodies to be burned and the weaker ones just fell to their knees. The hole in Cloud's chest was sealed over before the first pyre had even been lit. He sat in silence and ruminated over if he had once again cheated death or if death had once again cheated him. Tifa and Marlene had both survived, and for that he was thankful. At least he wouldn't be alone for a little while longer.

All of the tents were ruined and no shelter remained. The rations had escaped unscathed, which meant they wouldn't starve, but exposure would take out the rest of them quicker than he wanted to admit. The girls had set to recovering what could be salvaged from their supplies. It wasn't long, however, before Tifa approached him. He sighed to himself and got ready for the first round of checking to make sure he was alright.

"Cloud…"

"I'm fine, Tifa. Worry about the others."

" _Cloud…_ " Something in her tone made him face her properly. Her eyes were red from fresh tears and she had a radio in her hand. Face devoid of emotion, he took the radio from her and pressed the button.

"Cloud Strife here… Over."

"Cloud? Oh thank Gaia. Tifa mentioned you guys got butchered there too. Is everything alright? Over."

"We're fine, but we lost most of our people. What do you mean 'too'? Were you attacked as well, Reeve? Over."

"E-every last AVALANCHE holdout was attacked, Cloud. He… he aimed to wipe us all out. Luckily, it appears he underestimated the most of us. From what Tifa tells me, you guys got one of the worst attacks there. But…"

Reeve trailed off into static but never said 'over'. Cloud got the feeling there was more to be said.

"But, what? Over."

"But Wutai got hit the hardest, Cloud. Yuffie held them off as long as she could… She was in constant contact with me… But in the end it got to be too much. Vincent… Gaia, Cloud. Vincent came over the radio about an hour ago and told me he was the only one left. Wutai is gone, Cloud. And Yuffie with it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED: October 9, 2013. Minor structure changes and descriptions. No scenes added.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long chapter with hints of Yaoi and Het. Nothing Explicit. Lots of Angst and more Character Death.
> 
> Same structure as before. Blockquotes are memories or someone in the Lifestream speaking.

After hearing of Yuffie's death, Cloud didn't bother to listen for anything else; he just dropped the radio and walked away.

It made sense to him why Wutai would be eliminated first. Wutai had supplied every holdout they could reach with fresh water and medical supplies. The new generation, those who were children during the Wutai-Shinra war, were now strong soldiers. Most of the time, it seemed like Wutai was the only place capable of holding out in the long run. The lack of mako reactors made the area clean from much of the taint, plus the ocean offered an undeniable defense. If all of the AVALANCHE run camps had converged at Wutai, they could have actually stood a chance at outlasting.

Wipe out the safe haven, and crush the hope.

Unfortunately, Yuffie wasn't the kind of woman to back down and neither were her people. They must have been wiped out completely as they tried to hold off the tide of monsters. Vincent surviving was no surprise either; the man had an uncanny knack for such things, just like Cloud. He felt a deep sympathy for the man as he realized that Vincent had just lost the second love of his life. Cloud knew that feeling well, and it wasn't one he'd wish on anyone.

The next few weeks passed agonizingly slowly. The surviving few had managed to create a large communal tent with the fabric left over from the individual tents. Runners from Edge came often and generally took at least one life in each attack. The experienced soldiers had almost all died off and those left were the younger boys. Many of those deaths came with a suicide following as someone gave up after losing their last loved one. In no time at all, they went from just over thirty to under two dozen.

Beyond that, each new day came with word of a new attack elsewhere in the world. The plans to have the Highwind come and get them were cut short as Rocket Town fell completely. Cid got pulled out of the sky by a swarm of flying monsters and the captain went down with his wife and ship. Barret's mining camp fell soon after and Tifa had to physically restrain Marlene when she heard the news. The poor girl had already lost so much in her short life and it was made all that much worse by the knowledge that the fallen men had been reanimated. Now her father's body would be left in Hojo's service.

Vincent disappeared into the ether but Cloud excused him for it. Something told him that he could be found at Lucrecia's cave; most likely waiting for the end. Nanaki was wiped out in the latest attack on Cosmo Canyon. Reeve and the remaining members of the WRO were the last to fall when Costa Del Sol, where they had been holed up, got overrun. The radio was dead silent from then on.

"We need to do something, Cloud. This can't go on. We're going to starve," Tifa insisted with her hands on her hips.

Cloud kept his eyes fixed on Midgar as she begged him to take action again. There had been a lot of this lately, and Cloud didn't know what to tell her anymore. There was nothing he could do to change the way things were happening. It wasn't like he could _swim_ to the Western Continent and charge Nibelheim. At least he assumed Hojo was still based in Nibelheim, given it had been the first place to fall.

"You just don't care anymore… Do you?" she asked when he didn't bother responding.

"Not really." He didn't see any point in lying.

With an angry noise, she flopped down next to him and set her own eyes on Midgar. He looked at her and wasn't surprised to see the frustration etched on her face. He _was_ surprised, though, to notice how much this war had aged her. Tifa had been so youthful, so beautiful, at one time, and now there were lines creeping in and her skin looked somewhat weathered from the harsh conditions. Cloud knew he hadn't aged a single day since his body had caught up with his years in the labs. The Jenova cells and mako caused the body to stop aging when it reached its peak, because from that point forward all decay was healed instantly. Stuck at twenty one for the rest of his life; he supposed there were worst things that could happen.

Cloud vaguely wished he could do something to settle her worries. He was no well of comfort and support these days. Hell, he never had been, but that didn't mean he was heartless or immune to their suffering. The prospect of watching the last two people he had left wither away terrified him at the core. Things weren't shaping up to be a gentle end either.

> " _The church, Cloud,_ " Aeris whispered as softly as the wind through trees.

To untrained ears, it would have sounded like a suggestion, but Cloud knew it was bordering on an order. He smiled a little. He always loved it when Aeris gave commands like that; Zack had liked it too.

"Pack up everyone," he said softly and Tifa looked at him in confusion. "We're going to head for the Sector 5 church."

"The church? Why there?"

"The makonoids can't enter. The Lifestream is too heavily concentrated there since the death of the remnants. Plus, there's fresh water." Cloud could tell she was hoping for a stronger point but she agreed anyway. He supposed she figured it was progress of some kind.

* * *

Apparently, the promise of any form of change was enough to get the people motivated for the move. It was agreed almost instantly that the move would occur the next day, so everyone chipped into make things happen quickly. The stray items were all packed in hours and all that remained was to take the tent down in the morning when they prepared to set out.

Yet, despite the enthusiasm, Cloud spent the whole night listening to restless sleepers and those who couldn't manage to drift off. If Cloud thought it would have done any good, he would have told them to get some rest before the journey. The trek to Midgar wouldn't be long, but they would have to circumvent Edge all together and that added time to the trip. He was expecting a two day trip at best, and that would take a toll on the weaker folks.

It was only because of immense willpower, that his legs weren't twitching with restless energy. Bored beyond compare, he remained in a sleeplike trance mostly for the benefit of others. Sleep was something Cloud had given up a long time ago. When he did manage to reach unconsciousness, he was plagued with dreams and nightmares and it wasn't even clear which was worse. There were times he'd much rather have nightmares of Nibelheim burning again than to dream of Aeris in a flowing wedding dress. The mako inside him kept him going nonstop anyway, so sleep was just an option to pass time.

As soon as the sun peeked over the horizon, Cloud was out of bed. He walked out of the tent and stood a good distance away to think in silence.

Cloud wasn't sure exactly what Aeris was planning, but he had a few guesses. Moving the remaining people to a fallen city didn't have many good endings. Nevertheless, he trusted her judgment; there wasn't much else he _could_ do as of late. It was obvious that he had none of the answers anymore, so maybe Aeris could provide what he lacked. If nothing else, he knew Aeris would never lead them to suffering. She was far too good for that.

Suddenly, he missed Rufus and Reno. The other Turks had never held much importance to him, but those two were an infectious type of tenacious. Reno, the slum kid who rose through the ranks to become second in command of the Turks, and Rufus, the 'pretty' boy who got to rule the world. Geostigma had formed a unique bond between the three of them. Cloud and Reno spent many nights trying to drink past the mako in their systems, in vain mind you, while comparing lives. Surprisingly enough, they had a lot in common personality wise. Just two jaded murderers waiting to die. Rufus had been different. He clearly wasn't ready to give up yet; not that Reno would have let him.

Rufus had become fond of engaging Cloud in intellectual conversations after he'd taken to drinking at Healen to avoid Tifa. Sometimes he wondered if the alcohol worked even without his notice, because sometimes he enjoyed the company. Reno had always been happy to sit back in silence and just watch Rufus talk.

After the stigma had been cured, Cloud had continued spending time with the odd duo because it had become a comfortable routine. They never expected anything of him, and he didn't have to like them to prefer them to the alternatives. Naturally, Rufus tried to recruit him back to the reforming Shinra on a daily basis. Cloud refused every time, but that didn't mean he interfered either though. Cloud was never one to do much caring about the motives of Shinra so long as the Planet was in no danger. It was the reason he always claimed to be in it for the money concerning AVALANCHE, because it was the truth at first. Although, he _did_ give Rufus a particularly violent _lecture_ on avoiding mako usage. Oddly enough, he had a sneaking suspicion the twisted bastard had enjoyed it. All the same, no new reactors were built.

Instead, Rufus bought out Barret's oil field. The Shinra-hating man had surprisingly caved in without much fight. Rufus eventually told Cloud how much money the deal involved and it made a little more sense. Barret was very adamant that Marlene be taken care of for the rest of her life, but Cloud still had a feeling that he felt dirty after accepting the offer. He also had a hunch that Rufus used Cloud's non-action as leverage.

Cloud was at Healen the day the swarm invaded. Reno had given him a distressed call and, with how panicked the normally self-assured man sounded, Cloud raced out there. When he arrived, Reno was slumped against a wall with a blank expression on his face. The whole place had been turned upside down and the other Turks were all dead. Blood coated every surface as it appeared they had been mutilated. Reno looked almost unharmed save a few small cuts that continued to shrink in size, but Cloud had always known he healed as fast as a SOLDIER or better.

> " _They took him… They fuckin' took him and I couldn' do a damn thing._ "

Rufus was nowhere to be found and Cloud didn't manage to get a straight answer out of Reno before Tifa had called him and informed him of what was happening in Edge. He made the choice to leave and he never saw Reno again.

By the time he had returned to Healen, when the survivors had been settled, a pile of ashes was all that remained of the place the Turks had called home for years. It appeared that Reno had gone after who had taken Rufus. Cloud wondered why Reno had burnt the bodies, as there were no graves, but it all made sense later when the reanimated corpses began to appear.

Cloud raised a hand and rubbed at his chest absentmindedly. Reanimating the dead was nothing new for Hojo. Cloud himself had been brought back after the Nibelheim incident, and Vincent had gone through similar. The only difference was these new ones were dead too long to retain brain function; they weren't meant for anything more than fodder.

Behind him, he could hear the camp begin to stir with life and the urge to get this over with became overwhelming.

* * *

In little over an hour, the camp was up and bustling. The stronger men were taking down the tent and rolling it up tight to help carry it while the mothers made sure that the children all had shoes or cloth to cover their feet. Tifa and Marlene tended to the older folks.

The excitement reached its peak as they set off on foot towards the collapsed 'floating' city. The early pace was helped by this feeling and they managed to cover a solid amount of ground before the sun began to set. Cloud was pleased to see no threats waiting on the northern side of Edge. At nightfall, camp was rebuilt in the small canyon where they stopped. By this point, those not accustomed to hard travel were exhausted; the children whined about blisters and the adults ate like ravenous wolves. But, even still, morale was still at an all-time high since the invasion. Tifa smiled and told jokes that left everyone roaring with laughter. Cloud vaguely wondered if she had an endless supply of these jokes or if people were so desperate for a laugh that they continued to find the old ones funny.

Cloud decided to stand guard all night given the new and unsecured location. The Kalm fangs were howling close by and they no longer had the protection of higher ground. Out of boredom, he half hoped something would attack just so he could burn some energy. Unfortunately, or perhaps the opposite, nothing decided to visit them in the night. Morning brought sore bodies and pained moans. Given this, the camp was noticeably slower to prepare to set out this time, but they were moving again without much delay.

Reaching the outskirts of Midgar was bittersweet as they were faced with the ruined Sector 7. Tifa and Marlene clenched their fists at the sight and tried to keep silent. He figured it was for the benefit of the others more than anything else. They had to travel south for a few more hours to enter Sector 5. The entering, of course, was not so simple. With no energy, the old way to enter the Midgar slums was not an option. Cloud knew an easy path around but it took precious time.

Carefully, Cloud directed everyone down the treacherous path into the ruined slums. Every now and then, he had to stop to help someone down further, but for the most part people followed at their own pace. Marlene took charge of keeping the children safe as they descended. While there was some fear that there would be monsters blocking their way, the area was dead silent. Cloud found this more than a little odd and made a point to remember to do some searching later. Still, the sight of the fallen city inspired no hope in people and the murmurs of doubt in the group began to grow louder as they remembered how desolate the area really was.

Arriving at the church didn't brighten spirits much either. Certainly, it was plenty large enough, and the water was still fresh, but it was exceedingly run down. The holes in the roof, including the one courtesy of Cloud himself, exposed them to the elements. Aside from that, whatever salvation the people had worked up to believing would be here just wasn't.

Taking over damage control, Tifa assured everyone that the holes would be repaired and that at least they were safe there. She gave him a pointed look that told him the repairs would be his job since he had brought them this far on what seemed like a whim. The confused but momentarily satisfied survivors began to settle in for the night. Cloud was grateful that, due to either the long journey or the calm of the church, everyone slept soundly; he wanted some alone time.

* * *

Quietly, he climbed to the roof of the church and took a seat. The boards were old and creaked dangerously, but he chose to tempt the fates a bit and remain sitting. He'd fallen through this roof once; doing so again wouldn't be all that bad. Although it may kill a few people from heart attacks.

A small voice in the back of his head told him that he had actually fallen through the roof _twice_. Cloud shook his head to dispel the false memories.

> " _You know…_ "

Cloud fought back the urge to bite out a curse at being caught. Zack _always_ managed to catch him. Sometimes he figured that his friend did nothing else with his time but watch over Cloud.

> " _I don't mind when you relive my memories. Means I'm not forgotten and that I really existed at some point. Been dead so long that sometimes even_ _ **I**_ _forget being alive._ "

" _It's the exact opposite, Zack. Me having your memories… It means I_ _ **did**_ _forget you. I tried to step into your shoes and replace all of my lackluster life with yours._ "

> " _You really think so? Hmm… Nah, I think it's more that we became one person. Like a Super-Zack-Cloud hybrid. My charm and your devilishly good looks."_

Cloud rolled his eyes at the absurdity of it.

> " _We had the double whammy, right?_ "

Zack fell silent for a moment and Cloud just stared off into the distance.

> " _I kinda miss it, y'know?_ "

With the surge of emotions, Cloud pressed the heel of his palm to the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Zack always chose the worst moments to do this.

" _What's there to miss?_ "

> " _Being that singular person. Okay, maybe I was dead and you were alive, but it meant I could still be there to take care of you. It made me feel important to know when you couldn't handle being you that you still turned to me for strength. Plus, it was as close as I was gonna get to being alive again."_

Cloud found it hard to agree, but even he knew he was just needlessly punishing himself. Zack had often mentioned how much he enjoyed the experience of being part of Cloud's personality, but Cloud still found himself deeply ashamed.

> " _Now you don't ever call out to me. Once Tifa helped sort out your memories, it wasn't long till you pushed that tiny fragment of my soul out of your body. Sure, you let me in when I push the issue but it's not like before. Before… Our souls got to actually be one. These days you keep me as far away from the deepest part of yourself as possible. What did I do wrong, Cloud?_ "

Cloud grit his teeth and looked down as though Zack was there to try to meet his eyes. He felt guilty, because Zack had never been the one to let him down. It was always the other way around, but Zack naturally seemed to assume more burden than he was due. Maybe they had that in common.

" _Wrong? Zack you never did anything wrong. It was me who fucked it all up. After I found myself… You wouldn't want to merge our souls now. It'd ruin you."_

> " _Sorry, but I don't believe that. I'm no sparkling clean angel either, Cloud."_

" _I got you killed. I got everyone killed._ " Zack sighed and Cloud felt his presence settle in close. The warmth began to ghost over his skin where he assumed Zack was touching.

> " _Dying to save you? Best thing I ever did. It's the one thing I don't regret in the least. The only thing."_

" _Why? You could have done so much more for the world, Zack. I'm just a SOLDIER-wannabe and a failed experim—"_

> " _Don't you_ _ **EVER**_ _call yourself that! You're so much fucking more than that, Cloud. Don't define yourself by the things that monster did to you. Maybe you never made SOLDIER, but look at all the things you did without the title. You saved the whole goddamn world, Cloud."_

He let out a pathetic laugh and hung his head. His shoulders hunched as he curled in on himself. Zack hated hearing Cloud call himself an experiment, but it didn't change the truth. If it wasn't for him, Sephiroth would have never gotten the Black Materia in the first place. Meteor was entirely Cloud's fault for failing to fight off Jenova's influence.

" _Saved the world? How does that count when I'm the one who doomed it? In the end, I killed Sephiroth for revenge. There was nothing more in the world that I wanted than to be swallowed up by Meteor and join the planet. Aeris gave her life to fix my mistakes."_

> " _Seph would have gotten that damn black rock even if you hadn't handed it over. Think about it, when Jenova called him… He went willingly and forsook his friends and humanity. But you, Cloud… You fought against it. You beat her and withstood her manipulation. Don't hold the fact that she had you snared for a while against yourself. That's what Hojo wanted from the get-go. You just managed to escape her hold. Besides, Aeris knew what she was doing, Cloud. She gave her life to save yours."_

" _The planet's life, maybe."_

> "… _Cloud… You'll never even fathom how much we love you."_

Cloud's lips curled into a pained snarl and he desperately grabbed at the chains around his neck again. His hand clenched around them as tightly as he could manage without harming the items; they were like his lifeline. He hated when they told him that they loved him because it felt like his heart was being carved out all over again. Rain and gunshots; last smiles and blood soaked pink. Zack must have noticed how it affected him as Cloud felt his presence move into his body completely and all of his limbs gained that sleepy warmth.

> " _Shh… Shh… It's gonna be okay, Cloud,_ " Zack said in a choked whisper.

Cloud had figured out a long time ago that Zack always cried when Cloud felt like doing so himself. It was clear why: Cloud couldn't cry no matter how badly something tore at his soul. At some point, Hojo had altered or removed his tear ducts. His eyes never dried out, but never watered either. Zack seemed to see this as a great loss and responded by crying Cloud's tears for him.

" _How much_ _ **longer**_ _, Zack?_ "

> " _Soon, Spike, soon… Everything's gonna be okay soon. We'll be together_ _—_ _,"_ his voice gave out at the end. " _Together soon. Even if… Gods, Cloud. Even if you hate us for it._ "

" _I could… never hate you, Zack._ "

Zack laughed sadly and Cloud imagined him shaking his head, those long spikes bouncing all over. Just the thought made his heart long to be in the Lifestream alongside Zack.

> " _No promises you can't keep, Cloud._ "

Something about Zack's soul being in his body made Cloud tired. The feeling of being completely safe lulled him into a deep sleep for the first time in over a year.

* * *

He dreamed in green at first and he feared that it was going to be another one about the mako tubes in the labs, but slowly the green receded to leave him lying on his back in a field of flowers: Aeris' lilies. His eyes shut for a moment and he felt a hand slip into his hair. When Cloud opened his eyes, she was staring down at him with a soft smile. Temporarily free of his earthly worries, he responded in kind. She giggled and it echoed around them. A hand draped over his waist and he tilted his head to find Zack cozying up to his side. He laid his head down on Cloud's shoulder like an affectionate dog. Cloud lifted his arm and ruffled Zack's spiked hair, in a motion not unlike the other man had once done to him, and just Zack closed his eyes appreciatively.

He wanted to talk to the both of them, but his throat just wouldn't work. For some reason, Cloud had never been able to speak while in the Lifestream. It was a sad fact, because it was the only time he felt like he could honestly spill all of his problems to them and be healed. His entire body felt heavy and, despite knowing he was dreaming already, he felt drowsy. Eventually, he gave up trying to move around and just settled back down in the flowers and let the two more or less cuddle with him. It was an infrequent treat to be allowed this surreal meeting.

Aeris decided to lie at his other side and draped one of her own arms over his waist as well. They trapped him in between them; not that he would complain. She pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips and he tried to turn his head to kiss her more properly but Zack's nuzzling at his neck kept him from moving much.

A part of him felt strange and out of place. Cloud had figured the two would rekindle their old romance since they were able to spend so much time together, and sometimes he got a feeling that they in fact _had_ but never really acted on it with him around. When Cloud was with them, they acted like he was the only thing in existence. His more self-loathing side told him that it was selfish to enjoy the attention since it was his fault they died at all, as he had come between _them_ , but the more logical side knew that they had both loved him despite his doubts and fears.

He and Aeris had fallen in love so hard, and he and Zack never had much of a choice. The time in the laboratories had forced them together in ways that would have never happened otherwise. Zack had always been strictly interested in women before years of isolation and heightened mako levels had lowered his standards enough for him to accept Cloud's younger self. Somehow, Zack had convinced himself that the relationship was based on love. That wasn't to say that Cloud didn't truly love him; but Cloud was skeptical that the relationship would have lasted once they reached Midgar. Didn't help that codependency manifested in Zack, from the actions he'd taken to protect Cloud from the experiments, and Cloud was nothing if not dependent at the time. The mako poisoning left him completely reliant on Zack for all basic care.

Zack would hear none of it though. He was very adamant that what he felt for Cloud was genuine, and a piece of Cloud was happy enough to accept that as an answer for the time being.

They stayed like that for what felt like days, but, no matter what Cloud would have preferred, it all had to come to an end. The first light of dawn woke Cloud instantly.

* * *

It was a little jarring to go from the dream to reality with so little time between but his instincts kicked in and got him on his feet. Fully awake in moments, he decided to check out the area for monsters that may have come closer in the night. However, an hour long search later, Cloud was perplexed to see no more activity than had been there yesterday. Midgar had once been crawling with monsters that moved into the ruined city; now there was no sign of any life nearby. It was all very suspicious, but there wasn't much he could do about it now, so he returned to the church.

By the time he arrived back, the people were beginning to wake. They collaborated to get some breakfast cooked while Cloud set to repairing the roof. It was mindless work that yielded some ugly but functional coverage. He was capable of doing better, and had proved it when they built Seventh Heaven in Edge, but even Cloud Strife could be lazy from time to time.

* * *

Below, Tifa surveyed the food rations and was worried to see how little they actually had. What they had left would never last more than a month and Midgar looked frighteningly empty of any sort of rations. Strangely, no one had mentioned being hungry after the long journey last night and everyone was professing to only be lightly hungry today. Taking to be a blessing in disguise, she put it out of her mind. After all, she was sure they'd find some more food soon enough.

* * *

That's how it continued for the next few weeks. The food dwindled, as nothing edible could be found anywhere, but people ate less and less without suffering. Some joked they were being sustained by the water from the blessed pool alone and there were accusations that people were getting fat from it too. No matter how little people ate, they never seemed to be in any sort of discomfort.

Cloud watched from the sidelines and was not surprised to find his initial suspicions correct. He now knew exactly why Aeris led them here. Aeris brought them here to let them die in peace. This was in every sense a mercy killing, and Cloud was okay with that. Things must have been worse off than even he'd known for Aeris to make such a call though. He could see the emaciated bodies of the surviving few, but it seemed they could not. Each day, the people grew thinner and thinner. They were starving to death slowly, but appeared to feel none of the side effects. His only hope was that they would be spared the ill effects for the remainder of their lives.

And they were as it started with the older members. One day, two just didn't wake up. They had been an old married couple and they died in their sleep, arm in arm, with smiles on their faces. Everyone found this touching, but Cloud could see the horror lurking in Tifa's expression. He knew she had to have her own suspicions.

The next death came just a day later; another elder. A few more days and the last of the elderly were dead.

The feeling of calm in the church kept people from panicking. It was as though all the worries had evaporated for most, and even Marlene was filled with the serene joy. It didn't keep Tifa from pushing the last of her food onto Marlene's plate when she wasn't looking. She was far too strong-willed to be fooled, however sad that may be.

And Cloud just watched.

The men started to go after that. The mothers and children praised the fact that their suffering was over, because now they would never have to fight another day. Talk of soon joining the 'others' in the afterlife began to circle; Tifa tried her best to shelter the children from it. Nevertheless, the realization spread like a warm blanket over the remaining few and no one was bothered.

Tifa wasn't doing well with what was going on though, and Cloud watched her once curvaceous form shrink to no more than a skeleton clothed in skin. She was more frightened by the changes she saw in people than comforted by their acceptance and joy at the prospect of final rest. One night, she cornered him and begged him to get her and Marlene out of there. Out of respect for her, he even contemplated agreeing for a while, but she was already far too gone to even consider traveling. The only thing keeping the people from feeling the starvation was the power of the church, and stepping outside those doors would leave her in pain. Cloud had come to realize that Tifa couldn't even see the changes in herself and the others; she'd become aware only through clever guesses.

"Cloud, _please_. I don't know why you brought us here, but Marlene and I are going to die here. We need to leave. Please, Cloud. _P-please!_ "

He felt his face go blank and shrugged lightly before responding, "I don't know what you're talking about. Everyone seems happy here." Against his better judgment, Cloud forced a comforting smile on his face and she just backed away in disbelief. Her face would never leave his memory: tear stained and completely devoid of understanding. She ran to the back of the church and remained there for hours crying.

Not long after, the mothers died and then the children died. Marlene acted as though they were all still there, and Tifa withered by the day. With no one left, they had more to eat but Marlene often complained of being 'too full' to eat anymore. It was some small mercy that Marlene did not die in her sleep, but only for Tifa's sake, as Cloud didn't think she would be able to handle not getting a chance to say goodbye. When the moment finally came, she still wasn't ready.

"It's okay, Tifa. I'm going to see Aeris, and we'll all be together soon. You, me, Cloud, Daddy, Denzel, and all our friends. Maybe… Maybe I'll even get to meet my mom," she breathed with so much wonder in her voice. Her gentle eyes passed across both of their faces before staring up at the sky and going dull.

"No. N-no. _NO_. _MARLENE!_ Honey! Honey, please wake up. Don't… Please don't leave me!"

Cloud wrapped a hand around her bicep as softly as possible, it felt like hollow glass in his grip, and tugged gently to pull her into his arms. She gripped at his shirt and sobbed against his shoulder. He watched sadly as Marlene dissolved into beautiful green wisps. The little girl he'd come to love took a piece of his already broken heart with her. The wisps rose and swirled around them in a final goodbye for a moment before vanishing.

Furiously, Tifa beat against his chest with her fists, but she didn't even have the strength to make a mark. " _WHY?_ Why did you bring us here?! We were doing fine. Oh Gods… We w-were d-doing _FINE_ ," she screamed through the tears. Cloud didn't even know what to tell her anymore. There was no denying he knew exactly what he was doing when he brought them to the church.

> " _I think… I can answer that, Tifa._ "

They turned and there, crouching by the pool with her hand toying with the water's surface, was Aeris.

Tifa stood stock still and couldn't utter a word. She frantically looked at her hands as though she was going to die any minute as well. Aeris smiled and came close to them. She cupped Tifa's face in her hands and pet her cheek affectionately.

Cloud's eyes were riveted to her glowing form as she began to speak, " _Still so pretty. I was… So jealous over how pretty you were, Tifa. Please don't blame Cloud. I made him bring you all here."_

"Whu—Why?"

> " _Because, the Planet is near its end now… I wanted to give you all peace. I thought you all deserved a chance to see your loved ones before it was all over._ "

"You mean… the Planet is going to _die_? After everything we did as AVALANCHE?"

Aeris had a sad expression on her face as she nodded. She looked away from them and closed her eyes. Cloud wished he could pull her into his arms too.

> " _Yes, and I'm not sure we can do anything to stop it… At least not now. It's too late for this world. But…"_

"But what?! Is there still a chance? _ANY_ chance? We'll do anything."

Aeris smiled softly but still wouldn't look at them. Abruptly, a sinking feeling formed in his gut that wouldn't dissipate. Something wasn't right about this.

> " _Yes, there is still a chance. But it involves a great sacrifice. And… I'm not sure how to ask._ "

Cloud's stomach began to clench tighter as Zack appeared behind her and fixed him with an apologetic stare. His hands instinctively tightened as though he was holding a sword and Tifa let out a small mew of pain. Instantly, he relaxed himself forcibly but it didn't quell his worries.

"Please tell us Aeris. We'll do whatever it takes, I promise." Aeris finally turned to look at them and touched Tifa's face again. Her smile was sadder than he had ever seen.

> " _I'm sorry… but this is a job only Cloud can do. You've done enough for the planet, Tifa. It's your time to rest._ "

Tifa's face screwed up with confusion and upset. "But… What? Why can't I help? What about Cloud's rest?" Aeris pulled her hand away as if burned and covered her own face. A small sob and Zack's arm around her shoulders told Cloud all he needed to know. He released Tifa and stepped back in disbelieving horror.

So no reprieve for him… Not after everything he had done and endured.

> " _We want nothing more than for Cloud to get to come to the Lifestream too, but he's the only one strong enough to handle saving the Planet. He's the only one who can do this, Tifa. Cloud…_ _ **I'm so sorry**_ _,_ " Zack all but begged him with his tone to forgive what was coming.

"Cloud…," Tifa whispered, turning to him. He raked a nervous hand through his hair and tried to focus on anything but the others with him. It didn't work as Tifa extended an arm to him. Against his better judgment, he looked and saw her fading away from the tips of her fingers and up her forearm. He barely resisted the urge to reach out and attempt to tug her back into reality; mostly out of fear his hand would go right through her. She looked down at her hand and fresh tears began to fall.

"Oh Cloud…," she sobbed as his eyes darted back and forth across the floor as if answers would appear written there.

"What… What do you need me to do?" he asked in a quiet voice that didn't hide his own upset.

> " _We need to send you through the Lifestream, but we can't offer many details._ "

Cloud barked out a frustrated laugh. "Well why not? How the hell am I supposed to fix something if I don't even know what it is I'm supposed to do? What's the sacrifice?"

> " _We can't offer you many details because we don't even know what will happen to you. All the planet can tell us is that it will all be on you. As far as we can tell, the sacrifice is your chance at peace with us. Believe us, Cloud; we tried to find any loophole possible._ "

"That's an awful lot of fucking pressure," he snarled more at himself than anything else. Still, they both smiled at him longingly as he fought back the desire to break the whole church to pieces in his anger.

> " _We believe in you._ "

"Cloud… You… You need to do this, Cloud. If the planet dies… Everyone in the Lifestream goes with it. Maybe… You can rest after it's done," Tifa breathed through sudden panting. She collapsed and Cloud barely managed to catch her before she hit the ground. She tried to lift a hand to touch his face but couldn't muster the strength, so he grabbed the hand that had not dissolved yet and pulled it up to kiss her palm.

He could do this right at least. This much he could do.

She smiled but tears still welled up in her eyes. "All I ever wanted… Was your love, Cloud. I'm so sorry I wasn't able to make… you happy," she whispered brokenly. He brushed the tears away with his thumb and pressed his forehead against hers. She felt so _small_. Cloud may have never felt for her what she wanted him to feel, but she was still all he had left. Tifa was the only one never to leave him.

"No, Tifa. I'm the one who's sorry. I wish I could have loved you. You deserved to be happy and all I brought you was sorrow," Cloud said softly as his voice could suddenly go no higher. She tried to shake her head, but could only manage a fraction of a movement. His hand caressed her hair gently to soothe her as best he could.

"It wasn't all bad… But… If you… Want to make it up… To me… Then save the planet. _Please_. It's my… last request. I… I love you, Cloud. Pro—Promise me, please?"

Hanging his head, he shut his eyes tight. How could he make a promise like that? The last time he made a promise that big, he had failed spectacularly. It was too much to ask…

"I—I don't think…"

When he finally opened his eyes, he found hers closed. Cloud looked from her serene face to her still chest desperately and he shook her gently in his arms but she didn't respond. The rest of her began to turn into green wisps and he just stared blankly as she dissolved completely in his arms. With all his agonizing over her last wish, he didn't even get to say good bye.

His arms felt too light without her in them. Cloud slammed his fist into the floorboards and they broke like matchsticks. He did it again, and again, and again; he kept hitting the floor until his hand was punching the dirt beneath the old church. The pain he wanted never came and in its place a tenuous resolve formed.

It could have been hours later when he looked up to meet Aeris and Zack's gazes. They wore twin masks of pity and both were crying for him.

Cloud was so sick of making people cry.

So he dropped his eyes back to the ruined ground and squared his shoulders as he asked, "What do I need to do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REVISED: October 7, 2013. Minor structure changes and major description changes. No scenes added, many improved.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the same warnings. Unbetaed.

Cloud felt like he was a piece of driftwood in the ocean. The 'waves' of the Lifestream were tossing him around like a toy in a child's bath.

He had agreed to undertake this unknown mission for the planet. For Tifa. For Aeris and Zack. Now he was stuck with the choice and all of the things that came with it.

" _What do I need to do?"_

Aeris had explained that no one really knew what exactly this would do to him. Still, he wasn't scared. What more could the universe do to challenge him? He'd already faced the end of the world more than once; he was prepared for the worst

* * *

_Aeris beckoned him into the pool in the center of the church. He waded in and waited. She and Zack dissolved back into the Lifestream and he felt them settle around him soothingly._

 

> " _Just relax and let us get you where you need to go."_

_Their souls blended and filled his body. His eyes fell closed as he could feel them entirely. Her light and kindness and his bravery and resolve. But what Cloud felt most was their all-consuming love filling his whole being._

 

> " _We'll never leave you, Cloud. Our love will never fade."_

_It was like he was falling through the water. If there was a splash, he didn't get to see it. His whole body was pulled under in one quick motion. It wasn't like sinking; no, much too fast to be sinking. Bubbles tickled his skin as they rushed towards the surface while he continued to fall deeper and deeper into the abyss._

_A moment later, he recognized he must not be in the church anymore; the pool was only waist deep. The further he sunk the more he could feel Aeris and Zack assimilating with his own soul. Belatedly, he realized they were actually_ _**fusing** _ _with him. A familiar sensation; Zack had done this when he died._

_His arms twitched uselessly under the immense weight of the water. He had to stop them somehow. If they fused with him like this, he didn't know if they could ever separate again. He'd have them forever as a part of his soul, but he would be truly alone. The spark that made each of them their own person would be consumed by what made him Cloud._

_His eyes opened frantically and fixed on the small pinpoint of white light in all the blue and green. The water was mixed with the green tendrils of the Lifestream. Like fingers, the wisps threaded through his hair and soothed his fevered skin. It was like his body was burning from the inside out._

_Cloud wanted to be able to cry; a sign Zack was almost completely a part of him now. He could hear the soft whispers of the Planet as he just kept falling; this was from Aeris. He was going to be alone. How could he fight if he didn't have something to fight_ _**for** _ _?_

" _Please… Don't go…"_

_It was too late, he realized, as he couldn't even tell where each of them ended and he began. Thoughts of them just brought up phantom sensations instead of the usual feeling of connection. Warm soil under his fingers and soft petals on his skin. The grip of the Buster Sword and taste of mako._

_A small body held in his arms. Did Zack think of saving him from the labs this often?_

_The feeling of elation of seeing the one she loved before she died. Was that why Aeris smiled as she was murdered?_

_His body felt smaller all of a sudden. He forced his arm against the pressure and reached out for that small light that was now so far away. Why was his hand so little compared to what it had been?_

_Water rushed into his mouth but it wasn't like drowning at all. The green surrounded him and he was now falling more through what felt like air than anything else. Above the water sparkled and rippled. It reminded him of letting Aeris go at the Forgotten City. How fitting for him to go in the same way._

_Little jewels floated up towards the water. He focused in on one and noticed that it shined like a diamond but it was almost perfectly round. He touched one and the tiny globe broke and wet his oddly dry fingers. Tears?_

_But… Cloud couldn't cry._

_His body splashed into the Lifestream and he feared it would swallow him up. The falling was over and Cloud understood exactly what that meant._

_He finally had his wish: he was dead._

_No one was left here to welcome him._

* * *

It had been hours since he had stopped falling. The tears didn't stop for quite some time, and Cloud wasn't sure what to make of them. It had been so long since he'd experienced the feeling.

His mind had wandered restlessly across the course of his whole life while he waited to be shown the way.

Strangely, his thoughts drifted to his parents.

He could still visualize his mother's face… The one from Nibelheim. But thoughts of different sets also flooded his mind. Two parents, both filled with pride and love, from Gongaga. Two mothers, one that lived within the Planet and one that kissed the hurts and kept him—her— _them_ safe.

Cloud tried in vain to push the thoughts of _Zack's_ and _Aeris'_ parents from his mind. He had been used to remembering Zack's as he had been bonded with his friend for almost a year before Tifa had unwound the two.

 

> " _That's my boy! Big, strong, and the spittin' image of his Pa."_

It was ridiculous to feel anything in response to that. The rush of joy was stupid and illogical. Cloud looked nothing like Zack's father.

 

> " _You best eat all that okra on your plate, young man. Else the next time you have a run in with an ol' Touch Me, Ma won't be able to turn you back into a boy again."_

Cloud almost felt sorry for Zack. A childhood of being forced to eat distasteful things under the threat of being turned into a frog forever. Some of his memories were filled with Zack contemplating if being turned into a frog permanently was really worse than a plate of unpalatable vegetables.

Cloud's mother had been much more quiet and hands-off in raising her son. She preferred to impart life lessons after Cloud experienced something for himself rather than try to protect him from things. Zack's mother's motto had been, "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."

The lonelier side of Cloud missed the parents he never had more than the mother who endured her name being run through the dirt to allow him to live. Nibelheim wasn't kind to unwed mothers _or_ their bastard sons.

Still, his heart longed to hear his mother's voice again. She had this melodic tone that calmed almost as Aeris could.

" _Cloud…_ "

He smiled as the Lifestream seemed vibrate in rhythm with his memories of her voice. Like ripples on the surface of calm water.

" _My little wolf, it's time to rise."_

Rise?

He felt the sensation of warm hands cupping his face. The Lifestream cradling him was gone, which jarred Cloud out of his thoughts.

Cloud's eyes snapped open in alarm and found himself face to face with his mother. His _mother_. The one he watched burn to death so many years ago.

She smiled softly and her eyes crinkled with good cheer. Her hands softly caressed his cheeks and he had to force himself to take a shuddering breath to fill his empty lungs. His mouth tried to form words, but, from the silence blanketing the room, he had to guess he was failing spectacularly. His mother sat up and pet his hair tenderly. She was careful to work out any tangles with her fingers. She looked so… alive.

"Guten morgen, meine kleine Wolf."

He blinked stupidly as his brain worked to process the language he hadn't heard since before he left for Shinra as a teenager. His mother was one of the few people in Nibelheim to remain fluent in the old tongue. It was one of the nuances about their family that kept them at arm's length with most of the other villagers. For some reason, people figured it meant they had to be staunch worshipers of the old and forgotten gods as well. His mother _did_ worship those gods, but it wasn't as if she spoke of it or held those beliefs against anyone else. Cloud had found later in life that many of the old gods were in fact real and connected to summon materia. They just weren't actual 'gods'.

Apparently, his mother had clued in on the fact that his brain wasn't working for him at the moment and she raised a curious eyebrow at him.

"A few hours into being sixteen and you're already having trouble waking in the morning? Don't grow old, my love," She laughed softly as she finished speaking and stood. She straightened the apron that Cloud just noticed she was wearing and turned to leave. With her back to him, she didn't see his hand rise of its own accord and reach out to her desperately. Would she disappear if she left?

"Mmm, find yourself soon, darling. I've been cooking all morning for your birthday," She advised happily as she left the room.

His birthday? Cloud's mind replayed what she said before that as well. Sixteen? He had spent his sixteenth birthday serving a double shift patrol in Sector 8. He remembered mostly because Zack had been horrified to hear about it.

Suddenly wide awake, he sat up violently and looked around.

He was in his childhood room and it was the exact same as it had always been. His fingers clenched and relaxed repetitively; even the sheet's texture felt familiar. A haunting poster of Sephiroth hung on the wall beside his bed. Clothes were flung about in every direction and he felt a twitch of annoyance at his younger self for the mess. The room was in every essence what you would expect for a boy his age.

Except Cloud wasn't sixteen, Nibelheim was gone, and his mother was nothing more than ashes.

None of this made any sense at all.

He stumbled out of bed and pulled on the cleanest looking clothes he could find in the pigsty of a room. The boards creaked under his feet in all the same places that they always had. Not even the Shinra replica town could copy those kinds of details. His lungs began to tighten and he started to hyperventilate to compensate with the feeling of not being able to breathe. His hands were shaking too much to even manage turning the door knob.

This couldn't be happening to him. He _couldn't_ fucking be a teenager again. His mother _couldn't_ be downstairs, because dead people stayed that way as long as they weren't Sephiroth.

Snarling in barely suppressed anger, he forced his hands to stop shaking and wrenched open the door. Within seconds, he was in the bathroom and had his hands pressed to the mirror. Naturally, something was wrong here too.

It was his own reflection in the mirror.

His body, his _sixteen year old_ body, was staring back at him. No muscle, no mako, and no scars. His ear wasn't even pierced. He kept frantically pushing up his shirt to check for the scars that Masamune had left before dropping it in stunned frustration over and over.

Terrified, Cloud put his hand on the metal handle of the door and gave it a firm squeeze. Nothing happened. If he were his normal self, the handle would have been crushed. Overwhelming fear and disgust began to flood his body as he tried again with more force and found the results the same. He tore his hand away and backed up flush against the wall. His eyes darted back to the mirror. He looked like a shadow of his former self; chest heaving, arms shaking, eyes wide and _wet_ , and paler then he had ever remembered being.

What was the point? What was he going to do for the planet like _this_?

If he couldn't repel Hojo's army in his old body, then it was impossible now! He couldn't even stop Sephiroth if he—

Was Sephiroth even dead? Cloud was suddenly 'sixteen' again, but did that mean that Sephiroth was just barely months away from coming to Nibelheim? Could Cloud even do a single thing to stop him?

The questions swimming in his head made him feel even sicker than he looked.

" _Cloud! Love, come eat! I've prepared your favorites,_ " His mother yelled from the kitchen.

Cloud didn't feel much like eating, but his stomach had different ideas as it growled loudly. He actually jumped in surprise slightly at the noise. His stomach hadn't growled since he had been in the labs.

With an extreme amount of effort, he reigned in his panic and set about fixing his expression to something less suspicious. It took several handfuls of water being splashed on his face to return his color to normal levels. Undeniably shaken to the core, he pressed his forehead against the cool wood of the door before exiting. It took more effort than he could even describe to finally open the door and he didn't even make it 5 steps before he had to pause again.

Poised at the top of the steps, he took one last slow breath before heading down to 'celebrate' his birthday.

* * *

It took all of one spin around town to convince Cloud that he really was in pre-mission Nibelheim. He could recognize every face in the small village. It was disconcerting considering the last time he saw these people they were either crazed clones or burning to death.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though the transition from his old life to this new one removed everything but the memories he stole from Zack. In the back of his mind, he was recalling a completely different childhood in the tropical village of Gongaga.

It didn't help that those false memories were much more appealing when compared with the real ones. The people of Nibelheim had never accepted Cloud, who had far too many strikes against him to fit in. He was a bastard child with no known father, his mother didn't keep up with the changing views, and Cloud was painfully shy as a kid. He figured most people assumed he thought himself better than them. They'd never guess all he had ever wished for when he was young was to be more like everyone else.

Still reeling with the new developments, he stopped to lean against the water tower in the middle of town. It allowed him to observe and concentrate at the same time. Walking around town was an exercise in dodging as everyone bustled about the tiny streets.

"Heh, heh… Sven! Give, heh, it back!" A girl's voice cut across his mind. His eyes widened and he felt his heart almost stop as a group of teenagers and kids came running through the area. Tifa… She was almost doubled over laughing as she tried to keep up with the boy in front who was kicking a ball away from the rest of the group. She was… so young…

And happy.

Cloud felt the real gravity of his situation finally hit him at that point.

The whole damn world was counting on him not to fuck this up.

If he failed… It wouldn't just be his mom and the town he'd lose. He'd watch Tifa die _again_.

Zack was probably alive somewhere out there. He'd be counting on Cloud too. And Yuffie. The rest of AVALANCHE.

Aeris was probably in her church, tending her flowers like usual, _right now_. She needed him to keep her safe this time. He didn't just have to fix everything the way he had before; he had to be _better_. That meant he couldn't let Sephiroth burn the town, kill the villagers, summon Meteor, kill Aeris, infect the planet with Geostigma, awaken the remnants… The list went on and on. He was also responsible for keeping Hojo from building his army of makonoids; something the good professor was probably doing as Cloud floundered in his hometown.

Instinctively, Cloud reached up to run a thumb over the ring around his neck and realized it wasn't there. His hand grasped vainly at his neck as though he could make it appear by magic. The dog tags weren't there either. The feeling hit him like a ton of bricks. His free hand went to his stomach and he was half surprised it wasn't covered in blood when he pulled it away. The two things he had left of Aeris and Zack were now history.

Cloud's eyes prickled as they filled with tears. It was like watching them die all over again. His breath came in shaky pants as he fought to keep his wet eyes from spilling over. He crouched down and held his head in his hands to hide his face from the world. The thought of someone seeing him was a million miles away from the front of his mind.

He needed to get his emotions in check. He may not be enhanced anymore, but his inner strength had nothing to do with that. Just because his body hadn't been through the labs didn't mean his mind hadn't. He would get nowhere if he continued to act like a frightened _child_.

From deep inside him an otherworldly calm filled him up. His hands shook slightly as he felt her within him. That was right… They had fused with him before he had fallen into this new life. He may not have anything to remember them by physically, but he'd always have part of each of them inside of his heart. Cloud lost himself momentarily in the comfort that the small piece of Aeris offered him. It would just have to be enough.

* * *

Unknown to Cloud, Tifa had looked up in time to see him drop down into his distressed position. She felt a wave of sadness come over her for the boy. Cloud had never really been 'one of the guys' in Nibelheim. She wondered sometimes how much of a toll that took on him. She promised herself to do something nice for Cloud sometime soon.

* * *

Finally back in control, Cloud's thoughts returned to the implications of this challenge. He was no longer enhanced; that much was obvious. So he'd have to build up strength and then find some way to get enough mako to pose even the slightest threat to Sephiroth. He snorted as he vaguely considered submitting himself as a voluntary test subject for Hojo. Whatever was left of Zack (and perhaps a little of his own feelings) inside of him let out a burst of unease and fear. Unnecessarily unnerved, he mentally soothed himself as he knew it wasn't a viable option anyway. He'd never be put in the Project S program at his current level. No, he was just going to have to do things the hard way.

Cloud spent the rest of his night continuing to celebrate his birthday with his mother. He didn't know how much time he'd have left to spend with her and it felt selfish to ignore her. Besides, it turned out that she had given him the one thing he needed most anyway: a sword. It was a small broadsword; both simple in nature and effective for his purposes. How she had known to get something like this made for him, he wasn't sure. Cloud was fairly certain he had never asked for a sword as a teenager.

"I had the blacksmith make it for you, darling. Is this what you wanted?"

He nodded as happily as he could at her. Even if it wasn't his real blade, it would do for honing his skills. Luckily, with more of Zack inside of him than usual, being happier in appearance wasn't so hard anymore.

With a keen eye he inspected every inch of the sword and was pleased to note it was well crafted if nothing else. He'd have to give his regards to the blacksmith.

* * *

It was just before dawn of the next day when Cloud 'woke'. He hadn't exactly slept, instead choosing to think over his situation some more, but eventually his unenhanced body's needs took over and he passed out for a short while. It was a small mercy that he only dreamed of the Lifestream. He half expected to wake up back in his old body in Midgar, but the reality sunk in when he recognized that nothing had changed overnight. He buried his feelings and got dressed as silently as possible. His mother had always been a light sleeper and Cloud desperately needed to get out of this house without waking her. He was in no state to be answering questions about his motives.

He grabbed his new sword and crept down the stairs. With careful placement of his feet, he managed to make it down the flight only making the boards creak twice. Yuffie would have still scoffed.

The kitchen still had the smell of his mother's amazing cooking lingering. She really _had_ prepared all of his favorite meals from his childhood. It was a nice reintroduction into the necessity of eating. Still, he knew he'd have to avoid getting spoiled on it. His mother wouldn't be there to cook for him as he travelled to wherever his journey would take him. However, today, he could indulge, so he grabbed two of the leftover rolls from the cloth covered basket on the table. The carbs would help later.

The morning air was chilled despite it being August, which left Cloud off kilter a bit. He had long become accustomed to the endless heat of the Midgar area.

He warmed up with a few squats before breaking out into a casual jog towards Mt. Nibel. At the base of the mountain, Cloud removed his sword and preformed his usual exercises; the same ones he'd been doing for years. Or at least… he tried.

Fifteen pushups through a set of fifty, Cloud's arms began to give up on him. He tried to ignore the pain at first, but his strength gave out at barely twenty two. Growling at no one, he rolled over and started his set of sit-ups. He was able to get much further into the set, but still fell short enough that he felt his temper rising. This workout hadn't even fazed him slightly in his old body. He'd even considered upping the ante multiple times, but, since he didn't lose muscle mass, it was all just a formality anyway. It was easy to forget how much mako made a difference when it came to his body. No wonder he had failed the SOLDIER exam.

Cloud's fingers dug into the soil and he glared into the distance. He didn't have _time_ to rebuild his strength like this. It'd take him years to even just barely reach the level of a SOLDIER 2nd.

Taking a deep breath and holding it, Cloud steeled his nerves and stood. He grabbed his sword and put it back on his back. His eyes jumped up to fix on the path up the mountain. He released the breath and took off running. He may not have time to do this, but he didn't have time to waste either.

* * *

Cloud kept at his training over the next three weeks, and, despite the agony after each day, he found himself improving much more steadily then he expected. Each mile got shorter and each set of exercises got a little closer to his hold standby. A plateau would be expected in due time, but the progress lifted his mood for the time being. His weight dropped sharply at first, and the last of his baby fat melted off, but by the end of the third week he could see the muscle filling in nicely.

This, of course, was due entirely to the fact that he spent almost all of his free time pushing his body to its limit. His mother took notice, but never tried to dissuade him. In fact, he often woke to find a meal prepared for him sitting on the table.

Over the last week and a half, his peers in the village had noticed the changes in him. The boys often tried to provoke a response, but ended up frustrated at his lack thereof. Tifa had paid the most attention of them all though. She quite frequently snuck up the mountain to watch him train, but he ignored her for the most part. Cloud figured that leaving her out of this giant mess that his life had become would probably keep her safer. She was, peculiarly, only twelve now. This meant she was the age she _should_ be for him to still be in Nibelheim, but this gave Cloud no clues as to where his three extra years had come from. He didn't bother speculating on it; he had bigger fish to fry.

Such as the Shinra mansion. He had been mulling over the idea of burning the whole shebang to the ground. If it wasn't there, then Hojo couldn't conduct his twisted experiments there. He thought about doing the same to the reactor. Jenova had been flown to Midgar at the onset of the Wutai war for "protection" according to Hojo's diary from the future. She wouldn't be returned there until the end of the Wutai war if the diary had been correct. Cloud had no reason to question the authenticity of the book, given it had been written in Hojo's hand. He had recovered the log when he cleaned the mansion out following the destruction of Meteor. He had been looking for answers about what had been done to him and Zack in that damned lab. Unfortunately, Cloud would never be able to un-see the contents of that book.

It was on a whim that he grabbed his sword off the ground and began walking toward Shinra mansion that day. The plan seemed simple enough. Get in, get Vincent out, and then burn it.

Of course, nothing's ever simple for Cloud Strife.

* * *

" _TIFA_!" He shouted as the purple half of Lost Number grabbed Tifa in his clawed hand. She screamed and thrashed about as the gargantuan monster tightened its grip. He could see the blood dripping from the claw marks along her back. Why was she even _here_?

He had gravely underestimated Lost Number without materia and mako to back him up. It had smacked him around good and hard before Tifa had appeared out of the shadows and drawn attention to herself. For a few frozen moments, he expected her to dodge the attack like the older version would have done, but she was just a kid with no combat experience. Now he had to save her quickly.

Cloud rushed the purple half and managed to slip under the arm holding Tifa. He lunged forward and buried his blade right into the fleshy armpit of the hideous beast. It let out a horrible wail and dropped Tifa, who fell like a broken doll right to the floor. Lost Number thankfully retreated to recover, which gave him time to throw Tifa over his shoulder and, more or less, run for their lives. He didn't stop running till he had made it out of the Manor; slamming the doors shut and barricading them with the wood the villagers had taken to sealing the place up with. Lost Number's loud cry was muffled but still slightly audible from the outside. Still, it didn't seem like it was pursuing.

With a sigh, he turned back to Tifa who was lying on the ground where he had set her down. She was bleeding on her back and her leg was swelling by the minute. He suspected she had a broken leg. Her breath was even so he didn't think she'd suffered any life threatening injuries.

Cloud picked her up bridal style and started walking back to the heart of town. It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. Dread sunk in as he speculated on what her father would say _this_ time.

It was just his luck that Mr. Lockhart was out socializing with the citizens, like he did fairly often. It was part of his duties as Mayor. His eyes landed on Cloud after a group of gossiping women had begun to scream at the sight of him and Tifa. He rushed over and all but snatched her out of his arms.

" _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DAUGHTER_?! _Tifa_? _TIFA_!"

Cloud felt his eye twitch slightly from annoyance. She was hurt, yes, but no one was fucking deaf.

Another man came up and carefully pulled her out of her father's arms while saying something about getting her to the town doctor. Mr. Lockhart just stood numbly for a moment as they rushed his daughter away and Cloud figured this was a good time to get the hell out of there. He barely turned away when the man grabbed his shirt and yanked him back. Cloud's lips formed a tight line as he was dragged forcibly to the Lockhart's house… and then around the back of it. Fantastic.

"I told you… you… you little _punk_. I told you what I'd do if you ever came near my daughter again. I'm going to beat you to death." Cloud's eyes rolled from the dramatics. She had followed _him_. His fear about her welfare was already diminishing. Tifa was a strong girl; something like this would only be a passing event.

The seriousness didn't sink in until he saw Mr. Lockhart grab a crowbar from his pile of tools behind his house. Certainly he wasn't going to actually _kill_ him, right? His body tensed, ready for a fight, as he contemplated his options. He could attack in return but he'd likely have the whole village on him if he did that. He could—he must have spaced out because the first blow landed then. It knocked the breath out of his body as the crowbar was applied to his gut. The swing wasn't _too_ hard, thankfully, and Mr. Lockhart dropped the deadly weapon immediately afterwards. A punch caught him in the cheek as he reeled from the pain. It had certainly been awhile since he'd felt something like _this_. It almost hurt more than fighting Sephiroth. The wonders of mako. His eye swelled up as the blows kept connecting with the left side of his face. Where was his _sword_? Oh, right, laying against the mansion door.

As if time had finally caught up, Cloud suddenly caught the larger man's punch. The action must have stunned Mr. Lockhart, as he stopped throwing punches for a moment. Cloud took the opportunity to sweep his leg under him and knock the man off his feet. He hit the dirt hard and Cloud used this chance to put distance between them.

" _You_ _little fucking_ …. _OUT_! Out of my town by winter, Strife! If you're still here when the snows fall, I'll make sure you get locked out in them! Come anywhere near my daughter and again I _WILL_ kill you, you _worthless bastard_."

Cloud didn't stay long enough to find out if he'd said anything more than that. He rushed home, stumbling every now and then as he bled into his already limited eyesight. His mother would have gutted Mr. Lockhart if Cloud had let her.

Out by winter, huh? So be it; he needed to be gone sooner than that anyway.

His training was on hold nearly a week as he healed up from his beating. Unfortunately, the time he put into planning was getting him nowhere. He couldn't burn the mansion, and blowing the reactor would harm those in town. Where was he going to go? Where did he _need_ to go? Midgar, surely; but how? Getting across the ocean was neither easy nor cheap.

The answer came in the form of the one thing Cloud didn't even consider due to the absurdity of it: A Shinra recruitment party.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed as usual. No other warnings really for this chapter.
> 
> This one was really fun to write.
> 
> Just as a note, this story covers Before Crisis events as well as Crisis Core, so if you don't recognize something I mention as canon it may be from B.C..
> 
> The Turk's name is partial canon and his hometown is confirmed canon. Æbleskiver are Danish, not German, but Cloud doesn't care. Ægir's Cove, Valaheim, the Great Sea, and the Nebel River (not the real life one) are all non-canon, but correspond to actual canon geography. Touch Me are frog monsters from the original game; not a weird creation of mine. If you notice a personality shift in Cloud, it's intended, not an oversight.

If you had asked Cloud at 21 what the one thing he would change if he could go back in time would be, he'd likely say he would never have enrolled in the Shinra army. And yet, years later—earlier—here he was: enrolling in the Shinra army… _again_.

It wasn't an easy choice; in fact it wasn't entirely a choice at all.

* * *

The recruitment part had rolled into town with a small caravan of trucks and set to seducing all of the boys in town into the military. Cloud had watched from a distance as the overly enthusiastic SOLDIER 3rds boasted about their most likely nonexistent battle experience and high pay. They were harmless, however, not everything about this was routine. In the commotion of their arrival, a truck had broken away from the party and headed for the reactor. He wasn't able to tell if it had cargo or if it was picking up something. Immediately, Cloud feared that it was either delivering or retrieving Jenova. Either was a frightening prospect. He'd be out of the town soon and, if Jenova was left behind, there wouldn't be much he could do about it. If the truck was picking her up, then where was it taking her?

Brooding over this new development, the shouting of townspeople caught him off-guard. He looked up sharply and expected to find that one of the Shinra employees had insulted someone inadvertently, but instead his eyes locked onto a rabid Nibel wolf prowling at the edge of town. Its mouth dripped with foam and its eyes were maddened. As children dimwittedly moved in closer to see, Cloud's body moved without thinking. His long strides put him between the children and the wolf before it had a chance to attack. From the sudden emptiness of the town center, it appeared as though all the men in the vicinity had run to get their guns. Nibel wolves were both nothing new to the small town and yet nothing to overlook either. It was imperative to get rid of them quickly when they ventured in too close to town. Cloud pulled his sword from his back and stared the beast down.

Behind him, the SOLDIER 3rds were telling him to stand back and let them handle things, but Cloud just ignored their cocky calls. If they wanted to play hero, they should have gotten here faster to protect the little ones. It wasn't up to him anymore anyway as the wolf decided it had enough of waiting for his prey to come to him and lunged. The creature was unaltered and already sickly, so Cloud took it down in one smooth strike. He dodged the attack and sank his blade into its neck. Red blood spurted out of the wound and stained the ground at his feet and a yelp was all the creature let loose before dying. Cloud wiped off his sword and looked at the corpse regretfully. He happened to _like_ wolves.

"Oh my, well done," Someone said smoothly behind him while clapping their hands slowly. Cloud turned to see the Turk, who was accompanying the recruitment party, surveying him deceivingly casually. He was a tall man with slicked back black hair, glasses, and a scar running from the bottom of his left cheek to just below his eye. He appeared to be in his late twenties. His face was familiar to Cloud, but not in any way that led him to believe they'd ever met before. He certainly wasn't the Turk who had been with the recruitment party when Cloud first entered the Shinra army. That had been a bored looking woman with a striking resemblance to Tifa.

"Thanks," He said calmly and moved to leave. The Turk stepped in front of his path and held out a hand, which Cloud just stared at with ample suspicion.

"I'm Balto, and you are?"

"Strife. Cloud Strife," he said as briskly as possible. He was in no mood to socialize with Turks. A gleam of light caught his eye as the man finally gave up on the hand shake and drew a _katana_. Did this man want to _fight_?

"A pleasure, Mr. Strife. I couldn't help but admire your sword work, from one professional to another." Cloud's blood ran cold at the ever-calm words. Professional? Of course a swordsman Turk would be able to see Cloud's ease with a blade. Careless! He had to bite back the urge to growl in frustration. Now that he was looking around, everyone in the area seemed to be giving him a stunned look. It was clear they were all wondering when the weird Strife kid had learned to fight.

"I was hoping you'd tell me if you intended to sign up with Shinra? You're at the perfect age to do so, you know. The pay is quite generous and, it appears, the work might suit your tastes. We're in desperate need of men who know their way around a sword." The words were coated in sugar but dripped oil. This man wasn't recruiting for SOLDIER.

"You see, we've got our fair share of dullards with guns, but I'm sure you'll agree that a blade has so much more finesse. Forgive me for waxing on; it's just not often that I see such natural talent," the man finished with a smile Cloud was sure he thought was charming.

"I'm not swordsman. I'm just a mountain boy who figured out how to take down a wolf. You'll have to look elsewhere," Cloud ground out. Unfortunately, the man just smiled.

"Ah! I see you've got quite the reduction in accent. A traveler, perhaps? It has taken me many years to break my own inflection, but I think I've done quite well. Don't you? Can you guess where I'm from?" Cloud's eyes widened comically. A reduction in accent made sense, because Cloud had been amongst the Midgar accented people for so long. But what more could this man tell about him from so little? His silence grew heavy and it demanded filling.

"Uh… Corel?" The guess was stupid, but in all fairness Cloud _couldn't_ tell where the man was from. The moment it left his mouth, however, his eyes clued in on the familiarity of his face. He looked an awful lot like…

"Gongaga," he blurted out. The man smile twitched at the edges and his eyes became a lot more calculating. Goddamn his idiot mouth.

"Why… yes. Gongaga is my hometown. Have you traveled there?"

"N—no. I've never left Nibelheim. My accent is lessened because my… dad was from Midgar. I've just heard people traveling from Gongaga talk before and you sound a little like them." The beginning was a stretch and the end a blatant lie. The man's voice gave no indication at all of being from Gongaga and Cloud didn't even know who his father was; let alone if he was from Midgar. It didn't seem to fool the Turk either.

"You lie with confidence, despite a few trips in the flow of your speech, I'm impressed. Please do come allow me to sign you up. I think you've got great potential, Mr. Strife. Like I have already emphasized, the benefits are _very_ attractive. Besides…," he trailed off while looking around at the still wary villagers who were checking them out from the corners of their eyes, "I think you'll find Shinra much more… _welcoming_ towards people with unique skills. It would be a great disappointment if you were to decline."

That, of course, meant that 'no' wasn't an acceptable answer. He wasn't going to let this man drag his family into the mix when enlisting with Shinra would provide a, albeit risky, means to an end.

The contract was drafted in ink, signed in blood; cliché but effective for conveying the nature of the deal: Shinra was for life. He vaguely wondered if having a total blood-mako replacement, like he had at Hojo's hands, made these contracts null and void.

Hopefully, it wouldn't matter in the end. Cloud planned to tear out the corrupted infrastructure of the company and help Rufus rebuild it with a little more of a worldly outlook.

The Turk, _Balto_ as he repeatedly insisted, gave him his copy of the contract and sent him off with word that he had a day to settle his affairs before they left. One day to say his goodbyes. Last time, Cloud had spent all day worrying about telling Tifa that night about his choice. This time, there would be no nighttime meeting and no promise on the water tower.

* * *

His mother took the news in stride, just as she had the first time.

"I knew the day would come when my little wolf would need to find his own pack. You'll do great things, my son. Just do not forget where you were raised to be the great man you will become," she said lovingly while placing a kiss on his temple. The fact that he was _really_ going to miss his mom hit him suddenly. Uncharacteristically, he pulled her into a tight hug as though he was a child again. In some senses he _was._ She wrapped him securely in her arms and rocked him back and forth.

* * *

That night he didn't sleep again. It was a common occurrence, but this time he was filled with trepidation instead of anger or confusion. How many of his old friends would he be faced with soon? And how many of his old enemies? Would he be able to look at Sephiroth without giving into the urge to cut him into several pieces?

Even knowing that Jenova was the cause of Sephiroth's descent into madness, Cloud found it hard to pardon the man. If Cloud could resist her influence, then surely the _great_ General Sephiroth should have been able to keep track of his own mind. Nothing would ever make the sight of Masamune through Aeris' back go away. Nothing he could ever do would bring her back.

But… he had to speculate that she _was_ back now, so did that mean he should give Sephiroth a clean slate? No, maybe not… Shinra trained its Turks to kill without thought or feeling or remorse, and they managed to adapt to that training in just a few short years. Sephiroth had been _bred_ to kill.

The thoughts still haunted him as the sun broke over the horizon. In a daze, he stumbled out of bed and managed to pull on the clothes he set aside. All of his belongings that he'd be taking were packed in a medium sized duffel bag. It wasn't much, but then he wouldn't need much. Shinra provided almost everything for its cadets because they were unpaid. Those that made it to SOLDIER 3rd got an insulting paycheck for the danger they were faced with constantly, but it was still much more than most new SOLDIERs would have ever gotten elsewhere. As rank rose, so did the pay. However, those that failed to make it into the program became infantrymen and their pay was abysmal. The infantrymen were little more than cannon fodder to keep SOLDIERs doing the important work or to die in place of them on the battlefield. If a mission had a high fatality chance tagged on it, then a large party of infantrymen was sent instead of a small group of SOLDIERs. The generally accepted belief was that the enhancements that SOLDIERs received were too expensive to waste.

Cloud finished collecting his stuff and turned to stare at his door for a moment. This was it: He was leaving for Midgar again and he was still as desperate as he had been the first time, only this time the worries were actually important.

He walked down stairs as quietly as possible, but it turned out not to be necessary as his mother was already in the kitchen. She had a made him a bunch of æbleskiver for breakfast. They had been a favorite of his growing up and he wasn't completely immune to their siren call even now. Appreciative, Cloud devoured the whole batch of the pancake-like spheres in due haste. He loved to dip them into strawberry jam to sweeten them beyond the dusting of powdered sugar that topped them. His mother looked on fondly as he enjoyed the last bit of her cooking he'd get for quite some time.

"I see my boy hasn't grown up _too_ much yet. Keep safe in Midgar, my Cloud. It's not the haven many make it out to be," she said as she ruffled his spikes. He nodded between bites mostly as a formality. There was nothing his mother could tell him about Midgar that would surprise him.

A final goodbye and Cloud was left standing in the cold morning air. The rest of the party was already loading the trucks in preparation of leaving. Cloud noted that he was the only recruit they'd managed to sign in Nibelheim. It wasn't much of a surprise. Many boys from town leave to work in Midgar or bigger towns for a few years before returning to Nibelheim, but very few ever sign up for the army. The career path was frowned upon in the area.

With a sigh, he began walking towards the bustling SOLDIERs and infantrymen. They paid him little notice as he walked directly up to the truck he'd be riding in and lifted his duffel bag to throw it up into the back of the transport vehicle.

"Ah! Mr. Strife, I was hoping you'd instead ride with me in one of the jeeps. I'd like to discuss some things with you," Balto said smoothly as he slid around the side of the cargo truck. His knack for appearing out of thin air was starting to annoy Cloud, who found himself often startled due to his frayed nerves. With a shrug, Cloud lowered his bag and followed the man to one of the three standard army jeeps that the party had with them.

Balto held the door open for him and he climbed inside quickly, careful not to show his back to the other for more than a moment. His duffel bag was placed under the seat in the driver's seat from behind and his sword was carefully propped between his leg and the door. He was pleased to note he had plenty of room around him to react if need be. The Turk took his seat to the right of Cloud and gave a quick hand motion to someone outside before shutting the door.

"Excellent. We'll be leaving momentarily. I don't particularly like to linger in places like this after recruiting. Generally, and oddly at that, people are unduly hostile." Cloud almost rolled his eyes at the ridiculous statement. Unduly? Yeah, right.

"Now, Mr. Strife, could you tell me a little more about yourself?"

Cloud suppressed the urge to groan and gave a halfhearted nod. "I'm… uh, just a regular teenager I guess," he lied as cleanly as possible. Regular teenagers didn't find themselves more than a decade in the past.

"I like to fight and I want to make good money. Sounds like SOLDIER might be a good choice to get what I'm looking for."

"I see… Well, I'll admit I see a bit more to you than just a 'teenager who likes to fight'. You're obviously intelligent; more so than the other people of your town. Perhaps, you'd be interested in something with a little more prestige than SOLDIER?"

Calling his job 'prestigious' was a joke. The Turks were often regarded with suspicion and distrust by everyone but the President and his dead father. Cloud belatedly realized that it was actually the other way around currently: The President and his son. He'd have to take care not to mess that up.

He wanted to just turn the Turk down flat, but that would make it seem like he knew too much.

"What do you mean?" he asked and the man's eyes brightened.

"I'm glad you ask! You see, I work for a higher branch of Shinra known as the Department of Administrative Research. We're colloquially known as the 'Turks'. Our jobs are much more important for the inner workings of the company. However, don't let the name fool you, we do our fair share of fighting when the need arises."

Cloud could have scoffed. The Turks didn't fight, or at least not fairly. They killed their targets from afar or as stealthily as possible; honor be damned. It was the irreverence for life that turned Cloud off of the division. Reno had often told him that he'd have made a good Turk if he could 'be consistent with his sadism'. It was true that Cloud was willing to kill viciously to get a job done, but the Turks took such things to a whole new level. Reno gleefully murdered well over 500,000 residents of Sector 7 when he dropped the plate. The bastard, in all the years Cloud knew him, had never even expressed a morsel of regret.

"I'm not sure. SOLDIER was what I was aiming for, to be honest. To be like G—General Sephiroth," he choked out. The words felt like sandpaper on his tongue, but they seemed to do the job. The Turk looked rather disappointed and annoyed, like he had miscalculated Cloud's intelligence.

"Oh well then. If you were to change your mind, please do let me know." To which Cloud just nodded casually. They fell into an uncomfortable silence after that.

Luckily, the driver of the jeep chose this moment to climb in and start it up. It appeared that the packing was done and they were ready for departure.

The caravan of cargo vehicles pulled around the water tower to be able to drive out of town. His attention was so focused in on the line of trucks that he didn't even notice Tifa make her way up to his window on crutches. She tapped on the glass a few times and it made him tune back in to look at her. The driver turned around and looked at him annoyed.

"We don't have time for this, kid."

Cloud nodded quickly at him. "I'll make it quick," he said as he rolled down the window. Tifa smiled brightly at him when he did so.

"You're leaving, Cloud? Was it because of my father? I'm sorry for what he did. I told him it wasn't your fault, but…"

"No, Tifa. I've just got to make my way in the world, and I can't do it here. I'll be back eventually, and we can talk then." She gave a sad smile and tilted her head to one side, much like she often did far in the future. She was so young, but the similarities to the woman he'd spent so many years with was both comforting and upsetting.

"A—lright then. If you say so, then I'll believe you. Promise you'll come back someday? You saved my life, so that makes you a hero. _My_ hero. Save me again if I'm ever in a bind?" That's what she made him promise the first time he had left. Didn't she understand that he was the danger that would put her into harm's way? Of course she wouldn't; Cloud hadn't failed her again and again yet. Her wine colored eyes just stared into his longingly and Cloud felt his stomach bottom out. He owed her so much more.

"I… promise to save you if you ever need me again, but only if you promise to avoid the hell out of trouble for me, okay?"

"You got it! Be safe, Cloud. I can't wait to see you come home again an even bigger hero," she said cheerfully as she backed away from the jeep. He stuck his hand out of the window and gave a small wave as the driver pulled away; most likely afraid someone else would want to come talk to him. She leaned on one crutch as she returned the wave with a big smile.

The center of town grew smaller as they kept rolling away. Soon he wasn't even able to see her anymore. Cloud turned back around in his seat and rolled up the window. The flashes of Tifa's last moments were almost too much to bear and he felt his heart pounding in his chest.

"Girlfriend? She seemed a bit young for you though," Balto asked offhandedly.

Cloud shook his head in the negative and said, "No… Just a friend. A very good friend."

* * *

The party traveled south a few hours to reach the, shockingly, even smaller town of Valaheim. It was a tiny fishing village that sat on the edge of Ægir's Cove, the body of water that connected the Great Sea and the Nebel River.

There was no inn for this village so tents were provided by the army as they went to work recruiting. Cloud took the standard issue, 2-man tent and set it up on the outskirts of where the majority of the SOLDIERs and infantrymen had set up their own. Cloud was the only recruit thus far, so he was allowed to have his tent to himself. The recruitment parties often started as far west as possible on this continent before working back towards the east where they'd catch transport back to the Eastern Continent. This meant Nibelheim was the first stop. The party never ventured through the mountains to reach Rocket Town because all the recruits out of Rocket Town were for the airforce, which meant they were funneled straight to Junon.

Cloud flopped down on the hard bedroll and contemplated trying to sleep. After a few minutes of the ache inducing ground beneath him, he decided against it. He desperately hoped that he hadn't become too used to his, plush by comparison, bed from home.

Walking restlessly, he eventually drifted to the coast. The water south of the city was fast moving as it poured directly into the river only a few miles to the east. He yanked off his boots and submerged his feet in the water. It was warmer than the air; a side effect of the mako run-off from melting snow at the top of Mt. Nibel. It wouldn't chill until it got dispersed enough by the clean water. Few varieties of fish thrived in the area due to the fact that the water was brackish, the abnormal temperature, and the mako, but those that did often grew to outrageous sizes. In fact, it was a commonly held belief that the mako-tainted fish were the cause of the bulky build of Valaheim inhabitants.

The water felt good on his skin despite the pollution, and, against his better judgment, he stripped to his boxers and sunk into the shallows. The water threatened to pull Cloud along with the current, but he was a much better swimmer these days than he had been in his youth. Growing up in such a cold region had limited his ability to learn to swim until he had joined Shinra. They forced regular swim lessons for people like him, due to the nature of their work, and Cloud had thankfully picked up the skill quickly.

The smell of mako and brine was unpleasant, but it didn't ruin the experience. Cloud leaned back and tried to submerge as much of his body, while still keeping his footing, as possible. His longer hair dipped into the water and gave his hair the strange sensation of being both bouncy and heavy. At sixteen, Cloud's hair was long enough to be pulled into a ponytail. He hadn't adopted the shorter cut until Shinra forced it on him as a cadet. Eventually, the freedom of the short locks had grown on him. It'd all be lopped off soon enough, but Cloud still found the sensation of it weird from time to time.

Calm for the time being, he let his eyes rove over the sky. With a snort, he wondered what his friends would think of him now. Cloud the cloud-watcher.

* * *

Cloud managed to successfully waste the rest of the day away in time to return to camp for dinner. The villagers reluctantly sold them fish for a stew that few of the infantrymen prepared. It wasn't very appetizing, but at least they used clean water from Midgar rather than what the villagers had from further down the river.

Balto ate a proper MRE off on his own and Cloud mirrored the aloof behavior. The SOLDIERs and infantrymen ate in separate clusters as well. No one wanted to deal with the other group. It suited Cloud's tastes just fine.

When dinner was done, one of the more boisterous SOLDIERs called out to everyone, "Get some good sleep, chumps! Tomorrow we're headed for the Canyon."

Cloud wasn't fazed by the pronouncement, as no extra members were allowed into the Canyon when Shinra did its recruitment in the area, which meant Cloud wouldn't even be entering. There was almost never a sign up either. It was more or less just a stopping point for the night. He did have to will himself not to be disappointed at not getting a chance to see Nanaki though. It'd probably freak the poor… 'kid' out for Cloud to act too friendly with him. Plus, he didn't put it past Bugenhagen not to know who he was and why he was there.

* * *

The trip through the Canyon took two days and Cloud grew increasingly bored as the journey dragged on. They had to circumvent the Ancient Forest in order to reach Gongaga, which took another few days' time. Balto made it clear they'd be heading north after this next stop instead of catching a ship to Junon out of the port east of Gongaga.

Today found them on foot, entering the forest outside of town. The brush was so thick that the vehicles couldn't traverse the terrain, so a few of the infantrymen had to stay with them at the jungle's edge. The infantrymen led the way as the SOLDIERs goofed around behind them. Balto, Cloud, and the newer recruits took the far back. Valaheim had yielded two uninteresting boys, who wouldn't make it past the basic training, and Cosmo Canyon brought a single standoffish boy. They all ignored Cloud quite unanimously, and he was perfectly fine with that.

"Woah, woah woah! Hold up everyone," an infantryman called. The other recruits tensed in anticipation and probably a little fear. Cloud just leaned around the people in front of him to get a better look. He could have laughed at the sight.

A handful of Touch Me frogs stood in the path and were ribbit'ing, _quite 'menacingly'_ , at the people in front of them. The infantrymen looked like they were tempted to open fire on the small monsters. Cloud could understand somewhat. They were pesky little bastards if you didn't happen to have a few Maiden's Kisses on you. Once they cast Frog Song on you, then you were likely to be a frog for a good while until you managed to round a Kiss up. The spell does eventually wear off, but not until you'd likely be quite sick of being a frog.

No one wanted to get close to clear out the little guys, so Cloud just stalked over and grabbed a fallen palm frond. Brandishing it like a broom, he swept the Touch Me out of the way and continued walking.

"They're not vicious, you know," he said loudly to the still frozen infantrymen.

It was true; they didn't often attack without provocation. AVALANCHE had a problem with them due to their loud nature as a group, but Zack's memories of growing up in Gongaga taught him the proper way of avoiding a Touch Me.

Soon enough, the rest of the part had caught up and were mostly acting as though nothing had happened. Cloud supposed they didn't want to admit being afraid of such small creatures.

He started to fall back to the end of the line but Balto tugged him aside.

"That was… interesting, Mr. Strife. I will admit, the Touch Me frogs often startle travelers who don't recognize that they can transform their victims in self-defense. These infantrymen," he paused to hold a hand up in the direction of the others, "Were alarmed because they had been transformed in the past and they do not regularly carry the cure. You said you've never been to Gongaga before, and yet… I have to assume differently. Please do explain, as I'm quite impressed. I had a feeling there was more to you than what meets the eye."

Cloud was, at this point, having a panic attack at this unending stupidity. He'd shown off _again_ ; in front of a Turk _from_ Gongaga. At a loss for words, he fumbled to think of a believable excuse.

It turned out he didn't need one. At that moment, Zack Fair decided to fall out of a tree and land right on top of Cloud.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed thus far. Very minimal hints of one-sided Yaoi, even less than at the start of the story. Ton of dialogue in this one.
> 
> Timeline is very close to canon while having a few notable changes. Zack is born 2 years earlier in this story. Cloud's birth year is also altered, but that's a plot point. The canon timeline does have Zack joining Shinra in 1997, so there's a reason for Cloud being early/older though it's not necessarily explained yet!
> 
> I'm using standard US Army rankings for Shinra. I know it's a bit of a copout, but it's what I'm familiar with. This makes Sephiroth a five-star General of the Armies (Wartime only) and Genesis and Angeal are Lieutenant Generals (three stars). None of the three 1st classes hold any specific rank in the games, though it's clear they are superior officers. Sephiroth has the power to grant Zack leave from his mission or issue a return to base in Junon during Crisis Core.

It was surreal: holding Zack in his arms, feeling the warmth of his skin, seeing his bright purple eyes, and, not least of all, smelling his ever familiar scent. The boy had fallen off of a tree branch that overhung the pathway, which Cloud had happened to be standing under.

The fall had shaken Zack who for a moment just laid there on top of Cloud as though he was at a loss for what to do. They stared into each other's eyes like time had frozen around them.

The urge to pull Zack in closer and just _never_ _let go_ was so overwhelming that it left him breathless. Cloud may have been able to talk to Zack through the Lifestream and even feel him to a certain extent, but he hadn't gotten to _hold_ him since his friend had died so many years ago.

Cloud's soul gave a strange quiver and, as though air was rushing out of his lungs, he felt something pass through him. Interestingly enough, it appeared that Zack felt it too as the boy shook his head awkwardly.

"Woah, dizzy. Very dizzy. Uh… hi?" Zack said slowly while still trying to shake off the sudden wave of light headedness. It was then that the boy finally realized that he was still lying completely on top of Cloud; not that Cloud minded. Still, he jumped up instantly with an apologetic look. "Oh hell, I'm really sorry! I didn't even think about it. I totally fell on you, didn't I?"

Cloud nodded carefully and pulled himself to his feet. Laying on the hard ground with his sword digging into his back wasn't very comfortable anyway; or very safe. His eyes just wouldn't leave Zack's face, as though he was going to disappear again. The stricken look on his friend's face was all that managed to break through the fog that had come over his mind.

"It's—It's okay. I'm fine," he said despite his tongue demanding he say so much more. If he had the chance, he'd cut himself open and offer his beating heart to Zack for the chance just to hold him a little longer. Fortunately, it seemed his face was still neutral enough not to tip Zack off to these strange feelings. The boy's face broke out into a winning grin and he stuck out a hand to Cloud.

"Awesome! I'm Zack Fair. Nice to meet you!" Cloud accepted the handshake and tried to force a smile of his own. It came easier than expected.

"Cloud Strife. Are you… alright?"

"Yup. I've taken bigger falls than that. No tumble out of a tree is gonna ruin my day! Oh hey," Zack said with wonder as he looked around at the rest of the recruitment party. They were all watching them talk with amused smiles. "You guys must be from Shinra, right? Are you recruiting again?" The question was overeager and Zack gave an energetic bounce.

Suddenly, Cloud realized something was strange. He was staring Zack in the eye. Startled, his mind pulled back from its euphoric haze long enough to realize that he and Zack were the same height for the first time. Zack had always been much taller than Cloud when they were younger and when Cloud was enhanced the mako put him only a few inches shorter than the older man. The older man… who was suddenly not older anymore. Cloud's brain finally caught up to speed and noted that Zack appeared to be the same age or younger than Cloud was now.

"Yes, that's why we're here. Perhaps you'd be interested in signing up?" Balto asked from behind Cloud. His fists clenched by his sides and he felt the urge to kill the Turk for even _speaking_ to Zack. His friend didn't notice Cloud's distress though, as he looked at Balto and gave an enthusiastic nod.

"Yeah! Sign me up. I've been waiting all year for you guys to come back around."

"Outstanding. We'll get you sorted out as soon as we reach town." Cloud felt panic rising in his chest.

"W-wait. What about your parents?" Cloud asked without thinking. If Zack thought the question was weird, then his face didn't show it as he pinned Cloud with that beatific smile again.

"Don't worry, my folks will understand. Besides, I'll be able to come back a SOLDIER. Then they can brag to all their friends." Cloud had to disagree as he remembered that Zack never even told his parents he was leaving the first time he signed up for the army. His mother would have chewed him out for hours.

The party began moving towards town again and Zack fell in beside Cloud. It was crazy to Cloud to see him so young and unenhanced. Zack's accent was stronger than he remembered and his spikey hair was significantly shorter.

"So, Cloud, tell me about yourself! We'll probably be getting to see a lot of each other at Shinra, so we should be friends. Besides, me falling on you out of everyone here sounds like destiny. We're probably gonna be _best_ friends or something."

"Don't get your hopes up, kid. Strife's a lone wolf," One of the Valaheim recruits said with a laugh. Zack just tilted his head towards the boy.

"Maybe he just needs better friends," he said with a cocky grin. At that, he slung an arm over Cloud's shoulders, causing them both to stumble a moment before finding their pace again. Cloud couldn't quash the smile that found its way onto his face. Zack gave his arm a soft punch. "See? I bet you're pretty awesome. Now come on, talk!"

"There's not much to say. I'm from Nibelheim. Hope to join SOLDIER. That's really all there is," Cloud said with a casual shrug. Zack's mouth screwed up and twitched from side to side in contemplation.

"Well, we've got one thing in common. We both wanna be SOLDIERs. And it sounds like we both come from backwater holes in the wall. That's two! We've both got pretty damn cool hair, so there's three. But man, you've already got a _real_ sword! Do you know how to use it?" Cloud nodded. "That's so wicked. Could you teach me what you know? Please!"

The idea of Cloud teaching _Zack_ how to use a sword was almost comical. Almost all of Cloud's fighting ability came from Zack's memories.

"Uh… Sure."

Zack joining Shinra was both exciting and terrifying. He'd finally get to spend some time with his friend while they were both alive and well, but it'd put Zack in undeniable danger. Cloud felt that he should try to talk him out of joining, but the thought just left him feeling empty inside.

Another worry that was slowly becoming more prominent was just exactly _when_ was he. It really hadn't occurred to him before as he panicked about trying to change the world, but it was clear he didn't even know what had happened or not yet. Cloud joined Shinra the first time as a fifteen year old. If Tifa was twelve then Cloud should be thirteen. Which meant Zack was… fifteen? Assuming all of that was correct, then where did those extra three years come from? It made his head spin from with unanswered questions.

"So, how old are you?" he asked nonchalant.

"Fifteen as of November 27th. And you?"

"I just turned sixteen on August 11th." Zack clapped him on the back and gave a mock cheer.

"Happy Birthday! A bit late, but, hey, we just met so it doesn't count. You're like a year older than me then, huh. Well, I can make friends with anyone; older, younger, doesn't matter," Zack continued to babble on for a few moments and Cloud just immersed himself in the sound of his voice. For the first time in what felt like forever, Cloud was happy. Unconditionally happy.

A hand waved in front of his face and Cloud returned his focus to his friend.

"Yo, Cloud? You there, buddy? There he is!" Zack laughed good-naturedly as Cloud gave him a shove. "Aw come on, I asked you a question and you just spaced out on me. I had to save you from your daydreams." Cloud rolled his eyes a little more obviously than usual and smiled.

"What did you ask?"

"I just asked about where you learned to clear out a Touch Me. I heard that other guy talking to you about it earlier, y'know, when I fell on your head. You didn't look like you wanted to answer, but I'm, like, your new bestest friend ever."

Cloud shook his head and looked forward again. Trust Zack to ask a question both harmless and risky at the same time. It wasn't like he could act like this was some grand secret. They were just frogs.

"A few travelers from Gongaga were staying in my hometown and they mentioned the frogs casually. I thought they sounded kind of interesting so I asked about them. They told me about how they can turn you into a frog if you're not careful and how to avoid them. I just… feel nervous around that guy who asked. Like everything I say is going to be used against me somehow." It wasn't completely a lie. Experience had taught him that even simple things can tip off the suspicions of a Turk. Zack nodded studiously at his answer.

"Yeah I can get that. He's pretty intimidating, isn't he?" Zack spared a quick glance back at Balto, who had fallen back even further. "He's gotta be from around here, though I don't recognize him. That hair is a Gongaga trademark. He's probably just pissed no one got frogged," Zack said while leaning in conspiratorially. "We don't generally tell outsiders how to fight the little buggers off. Tons of Gil in selling Maiden's Kisses," he ended in a gleeful whisper.

Cloud just smirked and nodded minutely. "I'll keep it to myself then."

* * *

The party reached Gongaga after about twenty more minutes of walking, during which Cloud and Zack continued to get to 'know' one another. Which mostly equated to Cloud playing fifty questions as Zack quizzed him on his whole life. It was more than a little endearing.

"So your hair. Natural or gelled?"

"Natural."

"Nice. Alright, General Sephiroth, Lt. General Rhapsodos, or Lt. General Hewley?"

It was weird to hear them all referred to by their ranks. His memories of the Project G SOLDIERs were limited to what Zack remembered of the two, and Sephiroth had been stripped of his official rank when he was 'killed' in Nibelheim.

"Ang—Hewley," He choked out to cover for his initial mistake. There was no way someone like him would be calling the esteemed Lt. General by his first name.

"Yeah, he's my favorite too. That sword of his is something else, man. I'd love to get to use something that badass in combat," Zack said wistfully.

Zack's older voice and one that Cloud had always assumed to be Angeal's floated through his mind while thinking of the Buster Sword.

> " _Use brings about wear, tear, and rust._ "

"General Sephiroth's sword just looks silly. Until he's slicing ten monsters in half at the same time with it." Cloud almost shuddered at the thought of Masamune. He wasn't looking forward to tangoing with the legendary sword while able to feel undiluted pain.

"It's… nothing to laugh at."

"Yeah, I've heard some pretty crazy stories about what he's done with that sword in the war. One guy said he saw the General skewer _seven_ guys in one go. I think he was exaggerating, but, man, wouldn't that be something to see!"

The mention of war was another wakeup call. Of course the Wutai War would already be raging by now. It had lasted just shy of nine years. Cloud struggled to remember how far into the country Shinra should be at this time.

"Uh… this is going to sound really weird."

Zack looked at him quizzically and blinked. "Shoot."

"What… year is it?" he asked slowly. It was stupid to ask, but he really needed to know.

"W—ow. You really _are_ from a backwater town. It's 1997, buddy. Don't they have calendars where you're from?" Zack looked incredibly astonished at the fact that Cloud didn't know the year, but at least he wasn't suspicious.

"Not really. It's been a few years since I saw one," he said offhandedly, as though not knowing the year was a natural occurrence. If Zack thought hard enough about it, then he'd be caught. He'd already told the boy his birthday, and, if there were no calendars, he wouldn't have any way to know the day from any other. Luckily, the idea of it stunned his friend into unthinking wonder.

If it was 1997, then the war had already been going on for five years. He knew that Zack and Angeal's deployment to Wutai was one of the final insertions of a high ranking SOLDIER team. This meant he had barely three years before the first J-cell crisis: Genesis Rhapsodos' degradation. How he handled that would affect the rest of the crises, because Angeal's was related to Genesis and Genesis had a hand in Nibelheim's progression.

Not for the first time, Cloud was incredibly grateful to have the help of Zack's memories to augment his own. Without them, he'd be flying blind and would likely have to relive everything over to even know what needed to be changed.

In the present, however, the party had stopped in the heart of the village and was setting up the recruitment booth. Beside him, Zack was bouncing on the balls of his feet like an excited child. Cloud smiled softly and didn't resist the urge to reach out and ruffle Zack's hair like Cloud had taken to doing to his spirit self in dreams. The younger boy laughed and leaned into the touch.

"I'm just excited, y'know. Can't wait to be a SOLDIER. My biggest dream is to be a hero!"

Cloud's smile turned bittersweet and he said gently, "There are other ways than this to be a hero. You don't have to join you know. Some of the most heroic people I've ever met had nothing to do with Shinra." To his credit, Zack appeared to consider this before answering.

"Yeah maybe, but I need to get out of this place too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my hometown, but… I love people too, and there are just not enough of them here. Midgar sounds amazing. Plus, if I didn't join I'd have to say goodbye to you! Ain't happenin'. Like I said before, you're gonna be my new best friend; destiny decided."

"Don't you have an older best friend?" he asked, amused.

"You'd think so, right? No, I'm good friends with everyone here, but I've never 'clicked' with anyone like I did with you. I actually _felt_ something when we met. That… sounds really weird. I'm not sure what I'm saying, but you get me, right?" Zack's face was screwed up in confusion as he searched for the right way to express what he meant. Cloud just smirked and nodded.

"I get what you mean. But what I said still stands. Plus I really think you should talk to your parents."

"Don't worry so much, Cloud. I know what I'm doing," he said while giving Cloud a big grin. It was clear that he wasn't going to be dissuaded. Not that it helped that Cloud wasn't even sure he _wanted_ to dissuade him. Seeing Zack alive was heaven on Gaia.

The conversation was cut short as Balto ushered Zack up to the assembled table. He completed the paperwork quickly; not bothering to read his contract. Cloud's eyes just rested on his back the whole time. A tiny flinch and the sound of a pen nib on paper was the only sign that Zack had just signed his life away. A sinking feeling filled Cloud and his thoughts were plagued with guilt for not doing more. Selfishness was no excuse for letting Zack be put in danger.

"There we are! Welcome to Shinra. You've got the rest of the day to settle any business you have here as we'll be leaving tomorrow. Have a good day," Balto said with a slightly rushed tone. He disappeared moments later and Cloud was left wondering what had the Turk in such a hurry. A part of him wondered if the man had family to see while in his hometown, but that was absurd; Turks don't have families.

"Helloooo? I think I know why you're named Cloud now," Zack accused playfully. Cloud just rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his friend, who was waving his crisp new contract at him.

"It's official: We're now brothers in arms!"

Cloud raised an eyebrow and smirked as he asked, "Don't you need to have a weapon to be a 'brother in arms'?" He received a playful shove at that.

"Oh shut up. Now come on, let me show you the famous Gongaga scenery before we leave tomorrow!"

"What about your affairs to settle?" Certainly, he'd want to say goodbye to people in town.

"Don't have any 'affairs' to settle. I'll make the rounds tomorrow morning before we set out. I don't wanna deal with the hubbub right now. So, let's go!" He grabbed Cloud's arm and dragged him towards the surrounding tree line. Cloud just shrugged and didn't complain at the chance to have more time with Zack.

* * *

A couple hours later, Cloud was trying his best to figure out how his friend had so much energy to burn without mako enhancements. Zack leapt from tree to tree with little concern for his own welfare, or Cloud's to be honest. They dodged monsters and Touch Me as he led Cloud all over the jungle.

"And here's the lake. Most of the kids from town spend their time playing here." It was apparent, as there were no less than twelve kids splashing around below them. Some waved up at them from the water.

"Heyo, Zack! Who's that with ya?" One boy asked curiously.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Not done showing him around! Come on, Cloud." And he was off again. Cloud, used to it by now, jumped along after him. Behind them, he could hear the kids murmuring about his name and didn't want to answer any stupid questions right now.

They ran for a solid ten minutes before stopping at the path up to the reactor. For the first time, Zack seemed completely out of breath as they leaned against each other.

"- _Huff_ —Oh man— _huff_ —that was a good– _huff_ —run. Y-you alright, buddy?"

Cloud nodded minutely. Their shoulders were pressed tightly together and Cloud savored the touch despite the circumstances. He was quite fatigued at this point. Zack seemed to enjoy the closeness as well, but he'd always been a sucker for physical affection. It didn't mean anything, at least not yet.

They walked up to the reactor and Zack made a 'ta-da' motion. The last time Cloud had seen this reactor, all that was left was twisted metal and the stench of mako.

"This is our reactor, nothing much I know, but it's ours! And it's also the conclusion of Zack Fair's grand tour of the fabulous Gongaga." Cloud snorted and Zack gave a laugh.

Surreptitiously, Cloud crept closer to the reactor and peeked at the base of the structure. He swiped his boot over the ground a few times and a bit of red flashed in the dirt. He bent down and finished digging the Titan materia out of the ground. It wasn't surprising that it was still—already—here. It had been covered in crusted dirt when Cloud had found it in the ruined reactor during his time with AVALANCHE. The explosion probably just uncovered it.

" _Woah_! Is that what I think it is?!"

"A summon materia, yeah."

Zack's jaw dropped. His eyes were glued to the small glowing ball in Cloud's hand as he asked, "Which one is it?"

Cloud pretended to inspect it a bit before answering, "Titan." He hoped that Zack wouldn't be upset that he found it and intended to keep it.

"Gods, you're so lucky. How did you spot that thing? You think someone lost it? Do you even know how to _use_ it?"

"It's bright red and glows, Zack. It's not hard to see. And no, I doubt someone lost it recently; look how dirty it is. Yes I know how to use it. I just don't have the MP to use a summon yet." Zack shook his head in amazement.

"That's crazy. Good thing I'm on your good side: You've got a sword _and_ materia. I'll bet you're gonna be one of those super-fast cadet to 1st class people, like the Generals. I'll still be sitting at 3rd while you're running around making the big bucks and saving damsels in distress."

"I highly doubt that," Cloud said with obvious disbelief. Zack had risen through the ranks at a seriously abnormal speed. Part of it had been due to the Wutai War, but most of it was his pure talent.

Any fears of Zack being depressed at his find were dispelled as his friend took the whole ordeal in stride. The sun was setting so Zack had begun the arduous task of pulling Cloud back through the dense jungle towards the village. Cloud's body just didn't want to go back to jumping through the trees, but his mind reasoned that it was a good way to make up for the workout he'd been missing during this journey to Midgar.

"So where are you gonna sleep tonight?" Zack asked casually. Cloud could have groaned out loud as he thought of the uncomfortable bed roll that awaited his sore muscles. Apparently, the displeasure had shown through on his face as Zack let out a laugh.

"Why don't you come stay at my place tonight? Ma will make us a good meal, and we'll be out by dawn. Just don't… mention Shinra. I'll do that part," he ended pleadingly before adding, "In the morning." Cloud didn't like deceiving hi— _Zack's_ parents, but the idea of sleeping on an actual bed was too good to pass up. His tired nod was all that he could do to respond.

* * *

They walked to Zack's house in relative quiet compared to their earlier time together. Neither had much energy left to play around.

Throwing open the door with gusto, Zack announced, "I'm home!" His mother just waved a spoon at him from her place over the stove without even turning around.

"What have I _told_ you about that door slamming?"

Zack at least had the decency to look sheepish as he answered, "Uh… oops?" His mom didn't seem to expect any more than that as she went back to stirring what was ever in the big pot, probably Gongagan stew if his memories were right, on the stove.

Cloud felt his body seize up as she turned around finally to look at them. Everything in his heart and mind said ' _mother'_. Her rich black hair was pulled back into a ponytail and her face still held the playful side that he could remember from Zack's memories. When Cloud had actually met her, before all of his and Zack's memories had been sorted out into separate categories in his mind, he hadn't known who she was at all. She had been aged by the tragedies in her time and close to the end of her life.

He wanted to run to her and hug her not unlike he'd done with his own mother not long ago, but enough of his sanity remained that he restrained himself. No matter how much of her son was still a part of him, Cloud _wasn't_ Zack.

"Oh, hello there! _Zackary Matthew Fair,_ you threw open that door like that in front of a guest? I've taught you better!" she chided angrily. She walked right up and smacked him on the hand with the spoon and Zack let out a yelp.

"Maaa. Don't use my full name like that in front of my new friend! You're embarrassing me!"

"Well then you shouldn't act like a wild animal in front of him. Hello, dear. What's your name?" she asked kindly as she turned to Cloud. His throat froze before he could choke out an answer. Luckily, Zack filled the short silence.

"His name is Cloud. Don't mind him, he's just real tired. I've shown him every inch of the forest today. I thought maybe he could stay for dinner and spend the night. He's traveling from Nibelheim and can't afford to stay in the inn. It's either here or he'll have to camp out."

Zack's mother looked horrified at the suggestion of Cloud staying the night outdoors. "Oh you poor thing! You'll be staying here with us tonight. I couldn't sleep if I knew I left someone out there at night. Monsters have been moving in closer and closer ever since they put that reactor up," she said as she hurried back to tend her cooking. "You're traveling alone, dear? So young! I'll bet you're headed for Midgar."

Cloud finally managed a simple, "Yes."

"Well stay as long as you need, sweetheart. We'll be happy to have you. I'm making Gongagan stew tonight, if you've heard of it. Beef, vegetables, spices, some honey, and a little fruit. I could whip something else up if—."

"No, ma—'am," he said with a small cough to cover his near mistake, "That sounds just fine by me." She looked at him and smiled brightly.

"Such a nice boy. Take notes, Zackary. You may learn how to be a proper gentleman!"

" _Ma!_ Leave me alone!" Zack whined, but he was smiling anyway.

"Hush, child. Now set the table while I get this dished out. Your Pa will be in soon."

Cloud tried to help Zack as he went to set the table but Mrs. Fair wouldn't hear any of it.

"Oh no you don't, dear. My boy will handle it," she said sweetly. "I've got to make sure he's got good manners before he's off on his own. I'll not be having anyone come and tell me my son acts like he was raised in a cave." Zack stuck his tongue out at his mother's back, but performed his task anyway.

The stew had just hit the table when Zack's father came in the door. He was soaked in sweat, not surprising as he worked in clearing wooded area to accommodate the town. His face lit up at the sight and he pulled his wife into a kiss.

"What would I do without you?" She gave him a gentle smack on the arm and smiled.

"Starve apparently. Now go get changed, we've got a guest tonight. Our boy's made a new friend."

Zack's father's eyes fell on Cloud and he gave a smile in greeting which Cloud returned as best he could. "So he has. Nice to meet you…?"

"Cloud. Cloud Strife, sir."

"Nice to meet you, Cloud. I like this boy. Can we trade our son in for you?" Zack gave an offended cry.

"Just cause Cloud says 'ma'am' and 'sir' and now you want to replace me! I know he's pretty awesome, but come on!" His father just laughed and walked around the table to clap them both on the shoulders.

"You betcha, son. Now I'll be right back, I need to get out of these work clothes."

When he returned, they all sat down and shared the stew happily. The table was filled with conversation, laughter, and smiles. It felt so much like home that Cloud could barely stand it, but he also never wanted to leave. Maybe he should have just come here immediately and holed up till the end of the world. Zack fit his parents so well, and Cloud loved seeing their joyful moods given how somber things had been at the last meeting. He hoped he could keep things as happy as they were now. All he had to do was make sure their son didn't die.

* * *

When dinner was done, Zack led him upstairs to his bedroom in the tiny house. It was no surprise that the family didn't have any more children as their house could barely accommodate their own three people. Still Zack's room was bigger than expected. The large bed looked handmade, a distant memory made Cloud want to say that Zack's father had built it, and all the rest of the furniture was minimal.

"Hope you don't mind sharing tonight. I probably kick, but it still has to be better than the ground," Zack joked.

"I… don't mind." In a sense, he _did_ mind, but that was because he didn't trust himself.

They slid into the big bed and Cloud was pleased to note that they didn't actually touch. He wasn't sure he'd be able to play it cool if he could actually feel Zack next to him while they slept. Due to the exhaustion of the day, both were out like lights minutes after Zack blew out the final candle.

* * *

It turns out, he didn't get a choice in keeping his cool tonight as shifting woke him up several times in the next half an hour. In the end, all that shifting was Zack moving closer in his sleep. Apparently, Zack had a cuddling streak. His arms wound around Cloud like he was a giant teddy bear and wouldn't let go no matter how much Cloud wiggled away.

With a sigh, Cloud dropped back down into the bed and stared at the ceiling for a minute. He didn't have much choice, so he accepted the contact. His will broke quickly; he wrapped his own arms around Zack's waist and he buried his face in his friend's hair. The comfort was instantaneous. The consequences could wait till morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even LESS betaed than usual. I was exhausted. Actual pieces of Yaoi, non-explicit but it's definitely about 5 steps up from previous interactions. Fluff and I do mean a lot of it.

Morning came too quickly for Cloud's tastes as he was pulled from his incredibly blissful sleep by the first rays of dawn. The light from the tiny window came in at just the perfect angle to blare directly into Cloud's eyes, which made the waking up even more distasteful. Groaning, he tried to hide from the offensive light by sinking his face back into the mane of black hair that was tucked just beneath his chin. Everything was deliciously warm and smelled familiar. He just needed a little longer and then he'd be ready to wake up.

"Uh… I don't wanna be a killjoy, but this is kinda weird."

At the sound of Zack's confused voice, Cloud all but threw himself backwards. It was a stupid move that ended in him falling out of the bed with his arms flailing. Thoroughly horrified, he just laid there on the ground and waited for the awkward conversation that _had_ to be coming.

Sure enough, Zack's face peeked over the edge of the bed at him. "You alright, Cloud?"

Cloud nodded while covering his face with a hand.

"Cool. So… what's up with the cuddling?"

"You thought I was some variety of stuffed animal. I just… didn't push you away. I'm sorry."

Zack tilted his head to the side and his eyebrows rose. "You mean I started that?"

"Yeah."

"Weird," he breathed. "Oh well, sorry bout that. Didn't know I did that kind of thing. I didn't, like, _molest_ you or anything, right?" Cloud shook his head vehemently. It was by some stroke of luck that neither of them had been having any sort of… exciting dream.

"Well, alright then! Let's get movin', I've got a ton of people to say goodbye to before we head out today," Zack said joyfully as he sprung out of bed. He certainly recuperates quickly.

"You should have done that yesterday," Cloud muttered as he pulled himself off the floor. What a rude awakening. But at least it wasn't going to lead to a meltdown in their 'new' friendship.

Zack just stuck his tongue out at him.

* * *

They packed up Zack's belongings quickly, but it was clear he had a lot more than Cloud that he wanted to bring. It wouldn't all fit in the bag.

"Zack, you don't need this many shirts. Shinra will provide the uniforms. Just bring a few outfits for going out into town."

"Yeah, but what if I've got a hot date? I don't want to wear the same clothes to every one I get!" Zack pouted childishly. Cloud sighed with frustration.

"You're trying to bring at least twenty shirts! How many dates do you expect to have in the first few months of living in Midgar? You can buy more when you make SOLDIER," he ground out. This shouldn't be so hard.

"Hey I'm a pretty charming guy! I could have like… I don't know, _fifty_ dates in the first month. There's got to be tons of gorgeous girls in Midgar."

"Not all of them are going to be thrilled at the idea of dating an unpaid cadet."

"Come on, throw me a bone!"

"I'll admit you're going to get plenty of dates if you manage to _cut this down_ until it fits in your bag. We don't have all morning to pack!"

After that Zack finally threw it into high gear and got everything narrowed down to acceptable levels. The bag still bulged and it took the both of them to zip it, but at least it wasn't Cloud carrying the overstuffed burden. Zack cajoled him into admitting that he'd get those dates too.

* * *

They crept downstairs and Cloud was upset to note that Zack _still_ made no effort to tell his parents. The boy just assured him that they'd be the last people he'd say goodbye to before he left. Cloud wasn't so sure.

Everyone _else_ in the village, however, got a personal goodbye from Zack. They all surrounded him and gave their blessings. True to form, his friend soaked up the attention like a sponge. Cloud had to admit, Zack had charisma that was enviable. He was like some giant magnet that drew other people to him. Cloud had always been very weak to the pull, but the attention Zack showered on him made it all worth it. Being at the heart of Zack's focus was like standing in the sunlight after years of being in the dark.

Cloud caught sight of Balto out of the corner of his eye and felt his jaw drop. The strange Turk had a scowl on his face and no less than seven people trailing after him. They all appeared to be rather fond of him, but he didn't seem to be their biggest fan in turn. Maybe this Turk _did_ have a family. It looked like they wouldn't 'be' for very much longer if he didn't escape them.

He snickered under his breath at the silly sight. Karma struck though and he was spotted by the man himself who took the liberty to stalk his way over to him and Zack (plus Zack's fanclub).

"Good morning, Mr. Strife. I see your new friend is quite popular. Unfortunately, we'll have to deprive the _good_ people of his wondrous presence. We're leaving. _Now_ ," the normally polite Turk hissed. Cloud frowned and gave a nod to end the interaction as quickly as possible. Turks had the power to make incredibly stupid decisions while angry and still get away with it. It'd be safer for everyone involved if they got on the road soon.

He turned back to tell Zack but it seemed like he'd heard.

"Sorry, folks! I've got to get going or I'll get left behind. I'll be back eventually to see you all again. Keep safe!" Zack announced happily as he extricated himself from the crowd. They all gave a loud final good bye to him as Zack grabbed Cloud's arm and tugged them off in the direction of the Shinra party. Suddenly, his friend seemed to be in hurry. Cloud knew exactly why.

"You're not going to tell them at all, are you?"

Zack shot him a pained look and shook his head. "No… I know what it looks like, Cloud; but I just can't handle how much they'll try to baby me right now. I've made my choice, so I'm making it on my own. I'll be back to see them soon enough and they'll be over it by then. Plus I can always write them and not open the first few letters until they're calmed down."

Cloud didn't have much room to argue, but as they were making their way out of the Gongagan forest he couldn't help but feel terrible. After he left for Shinra, Zack's parents never saw their son again.

* * *

The recruitment party moved slowly north towards Corel over the next week. There were no towns between Gongaga and the small mining town so they were left camping every night. Zack chose to share Cloud's tent despite the option of having his own. One would think he'd avoid sleeping near Cloud at this point, but he actually seemed to take his newfound snuggling habit in stride.

"You don't mind that you always wake up half way on top of me?" Cloud asked one night as they prepared for bed.

Zack shrugged while grinning and said, "Nah, it's how we met! Plus it's getting cold as hell up here, and you're warm. Until you boot my ass out of bed, you're stuck with me."

Cloud didn't bother asking again. If Zack didn't mind the contact, then Cloud wasn't going to try to drive any wedges between them. He knew already that Zack was _not_ interested in men at this stage in his life. Both Zack's old memories and Cloud's scarce ones from the labs were enough to support this knowledge. In fact, Zack may never even develop any interest without the labs to force it from him.

The idea of never being 'with' this younger, living Zack was a little depressing to Cloud. The sex life they shared hadn't been all that stellar at any point, constant experimentation tended to ruin most intimacy, but Zack had been his first. Still, he refused to be upset. This is how it should have been all along.

* * *

They arrived in Corel eventually and Cloud and Zack were once again left to their own devices. The town was in a shape that Cloud hadn't seen since he'd come through here when he was just a kid. The buildings were all sturdy, albeit weathered, and the place didn't reek of mako. It meant the reactor wasn't up yet.

The small town offered Zack no entertainment so he spent all of his time with Cloud, which was not unusual. They spent a few hours just lying in the sunlight on a small outcropping near town.

"How long are we gonna be here?"

"A night. Same as every other town."

Zack sighed loudly and rolled over onto his back to look at the sky. "That's too long."

"You're just being impatient," Cloud admonished playfully. Zack grinned at him.

"It's my nature! Come'ere," he said while pulling Cloud into his arms. Cloud didn't even bother resisting. The younger boy put his head on Cloud's shoulder in a way that was reminiscent of the last dream Cloud had about his older self. His hand threaded in Zack's hair unconsciously, but his friend didn't mind. Did Zack act like this with everyone?

The other recruits cackled from somewhere to their right. Zack let out a small growl in response to the noise. He didn't take well to criticism of his new favorite activity. He grabbed a small rock and chucked it over his shoulder at the group. A yelp told them that the stone connected. Cloud gave him an impressed look.

"They deserved it," Zack said with some bravado.

"They just find it weird Zack. You did too when you first woke up to us being this close."

Zack frowned again and looked back to the sky. He seemed to consider his answer for a long time before finally responding, "I know. It _is_ weird, but I can't help it. You're like some kinda magnet, Cloud. And I'm your opposite polarity."

Cloud snorted. "Polarity?" Zack punched his arm lightly.

"Don't laugh at me. I know some fancy words! But seriously, Cloud. I mean it. You're just too damn awesome to be near for me to stay away. I…," he trailed off all of a sudden with a worried look.

Cloud paid more attention now. "You what?"

"I don't know…," he whispered and turned his head quickly away from Cloud. "What do you think about guys? Y—you don't really seem to mind either." Cloud blinked a few times stupidly as he tried to process this new development. Was Zack _naturally_ bisexual?

"I'm bi, Zack," he answered truthfully. Zack turned back to look at him, with a hopeful expression plastered on his face.

"How did you know?"

"I fell in love with a man. Later, I fell in love with a woman. I've always been attracted to both." Something about this seemed to worry Zack.

"What if I wasn't always attracted to both though? Hell… What if I'm _not_ attracted to both?"

"There's nothing wrong wi—," he started but Zack shook his head and he paused.

"I mean, what if I'm just attracted to _one_ guy, Cloud?" Zack's cheeks didn't look if they could even become any more crimson than they suddenly were. It was like a fire had been lit in Cloud's belly. His hands felt like they could start shaking at any moment. There was no way that he, _Cloud Strife,_ the Planet's personal bitch, could be so blessed.

"I know it sounds weird, but it's true. Like I said before, I just… _felt_ something when we met. But I'm really confused. I just don't really know what I want to do about it yet. Do… you understand?"

Oh. _Oh._

That feeling when they met… that tremor in his soul. This Zack wasn't just a 'new' Zack, he was a younger version of _his_ Zack. The fusion, that Aeris and Zack had done when they joined him in traveling backwards, wasn't just to be part of him; it was so he didn't have to rebuild the relationships from the ground up. That feeling was a piece of Zack's _soul_ passing between the two of them.

No wonder this younger Zack took such an instant shine to him. He was being influenced by the piece of his older self, however small it was. That overwhelming love…

> _"Soon, Spike, soon… Everything's gonna be okay soon. We'll be together—Together soon. Even if… Gods, Cloud. Even if you hate us for it."_
> 
> _"We'll never leave you, Cloud. Our love will never fade."_

Overcome, he threw his arms around Zack and pulled him as close as possible. Zack let out a surprised noise but snuggled in anyway.

"Cloud? Cloud are you alright? I'm sorry! Just pretend I didn't say anything about it. Please?"

Cloud pressed a kiss to the top of Zack's head and reveled in the way that the boy just stiffened and then relaxed completely. He looked up at Cloud with big confused eyes. Cloud couldn't keep the unsteady smile off his face.

"It's alright, Zack. Take however long you need to sort it out. If you decide you wanna try something someday, then I'll be here. If not, I'll never hold it against you. I'm just… really glad we met." Zack's face was like the rising sun.

"Thank so much, Cloud. You've got no idea how much I've wanted to ask you about this since we met. You're so damn amazing, you know that right?"

"No more than you," Cloud said with as much affection as he could muster.

They settled into a comfortable embrace and Cloud just sat in awe of how perfect things were for once in his life. He'd never have thought he'd be so happy for just a _chance_ to have Zack love him again, but the warmth all through his body showed otherwise. This is what he needed. He needed something to fight for again, and he had it.

Holding Zack was like a Cure was being cast on his mind and soul. All of the hurt and pain and tragedy seemed to fade into the abyss of his memories and all of the brightness of the moment shined through.

* * *

The two stayed like that almost the whole day, just soaking up the other's tenderness. When the sun began to hang low in the sky and their stomachs demanded filling, they finally, although reluctantly, broke apart.

The town was bustling with miners returning from their shifts. Cloud and Zack made their way to the inn while dodging the people hurrying home to their families. Cloud's hand barely landed on the handle when he heard a familiar laugh behind him. His whole body froze in shock as he turned around.

"Dyne you jus a crazy fuck," Barret said with a loud laugh and he wrapped an arm around his best friend's shoulders.

"Only half as crazy as your ass, Barret!" Dyne laughed.

The pair walked towards what Cloud assumed to be one of their houses before disappearing inside.

Of course, Barret would be alive, happy, and living in Corel since it had yet to be burnt to the ground. And Dyne as well. Marlene's father… Cloud knew she shouldn't be born yet, but he couldn't help the desire to go look for her anyway. Barret even had his real arm.

The man looked so normal and happy at this point in his life. Cloud was shocked he didn't even consider that Barret might still be here. To think this joyful young man would one day be the angry eco-terrorist that led AVALANCHE to blow up the reactors in Midgar…

"Cloud? What's up?" Zack asked softly from his place at Cloud's side. Their connection today had left them both talking in subdued, intimate tones.

"Nothing… I just realized how much I've got to live for. A lot of people are counting on me to become a SOLDIER, so… I can't let them down," he said firmly. It was true. _All_ of his friends needed him to keep his head above water. He felt a hand slip into his own and he looked down. Zack's hand was wound gently around his. Cloud's eyes sought out his face and noticed the pink blush dusting over his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Gaia he was beautiful.

"We'll do it together then, Cloud. I'm in it for the long haul."

Cloud smiled and gave Zack's hand a small squeeze. He knew he'd be slow in getting to sleep tonight; he had some lucky stars to thank.

* * *

They moved through Corel in two days; gaining another three recruits. The mining town often had plenty of boys willing to sign up when the recruitment parties came through. Fighting for Shinra was still less work than being a coal miner.

Three days to cross the mountains and they were finally in Costa Del Sol. This was the final stop before Midgar and it was mostly just to catch the boat to the Western Continent.

Zack had been filled with nervous energy all day as they made their way into the glamorous resort town. Cloud found it unbearably cute, but he didn't think Zack would appreciate being told that. They were still working out the boundaries in their strange friendship. Thus far, all that happened was some more cuddling and Cloud kissing Zack's hair. It was clear the other boy wasn't anywhere close for the kisses to hit skin yet.

"I can't wait to see the beach! Have you ever been the ocean, Cloud? Cause I haven't! There's a little port east of Gongaga, but Ma and Pa never took me to see it. I bet the water is amazing. I've heard so many cool things about Costa Del—Eep," Zack ended in a squeak as Cloud pulled the overexcited boy closer to him.

He nuzzled slightly behind Zack's ear before talking. "Your everlasting energy is showing, Zack," he purred. The younger boy gave a shiver and pressed closer. Apparently, Cloud still had whatever seduction skills he'd picked up as an adult, even if he wasn't as attractive as his older enhanced self.

Zack looked a little shy as he tilted his head back to look at Cloud. Still, he had a big smile on his face, so Cloud was happy.

"I can't help it. I love seeing stuff I've never seen before. I'll probably be even more excited to see Midgar. How can you not be freaking out after so many years in a town so small you don't even have calendars?"

Cloud shrugged and went back to nuzzling. Zack let out a few unmanly giggles as Cloud's hair tickled him. He certainly seemed happy enough to let Cloud do the leading so far.

As the party set up their booth for their last recruitment drive, Cloud stole Zack away and led him down to the water.

Zack's awed gasp was music to his ears.

" _Gaia_ , Cloud," Zack said with reverence. His eyes were huge as he looked out at the vast ocean that stretched between the continents. Cloud walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist. Zack swayed slightly as Cloud pulled him close and rested his head on Zack's shoulder. "It's amazing, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Cloud breathed while looking at Zack. The other boy didn't need to know he wasn't talking about the ocean.

"Can… Can we go in?"

"Sure. Just pull off your shoes." They separated just long enough for them to get their boots off. Then Cloud pulled Zack to the water gently. His friend followed almost a little fearfully. It reminded Cloud of Aeris as they escaped Midgar. She'd stared at the sky the same way.

The water lapped at their skin as they walked up to where the waves came in. Zack's eyes closed and his smile grew even wider.

"Wow. This is… just so awesome. I don't even know what else to call it." His eyes opened to see Cloud looking at him with a longing expression. His own mind echoed it.

Zack stepped closer until they were pressed tight together again. Everything just felt… _romantic_. Cloud's arms felt great when they settled back around his waist, but it wasn't close enough yet. Zack's own arm's wrapped around Cloud's neck; pulling them in closer than they'd ever been.

Cloud felt a little unsure at how close they were and he looked at Zack, but he was still staring back at him with a dazed look on his face. He looked like he was thinking very deeply.

Finally, he spoke, "Could you kiss me?"

Cloud felt the air rush out of his lungs at the flood of desire through his body. He barely kept his body from reacting _too_ happily.

"Are you sure you want that, Zack? I thought you were still confused?"

"I am… And I'm still not sure what it is that I want exactly, but I know how I feel right now. I'd really hate to find out that I _do_ want to try something with you later and know I passed up an opportunity like this for us to have a… first kiss," he said while blushing furiously. "So maybe… just one?"

Cloud nodded slowly. "Okay… just one."

He leaned in carefully, making sure to keep Zack's eyes held with his own, and tilted his head to the side. Zack looked like he was at a loss, so Cloud cupped his face in his hands and pulled him a bit closer.

Their lips touched very softly at first and Zack let out another gasp. It was that gasp that broke Cloud. He pushed forward into the kiss and locked their lips fully. Zack's hands clenched and unclenched in his hair but kept pulling Cloud in closer. Zack's lips parted first; out of shock or intentionally, Cloud wasn't sure, but he took the opportunity to deepen the kiss. A muffled moan radiated from Zack as he fell completely against Cloud when their tongues touched. One of Cloud's arms supported Zack around his waist while the other was pulling his head to the side softly to give him better access.

It was heaven and Cloud _never_ wanted to stop, but eventually he knew he had to pull back to give Zack a chance to catch his breath.

The younger boy panted a little but didn't pull away from Cloud. His cheeks were now a delicious pale red and his lips were a similar shade. His eyes looked a bit glazed but there was a hint of a smile on his face.

"W-wow. You're… You've got some experience with that, don't you?"

"A little, yeah"

Zack laid his head against Cloud's shoulder and closed his eyes. "That was pretty amazing to be honest."

"I'm glad," Cloud said softly as he pet Zack's hair. It was nice to be tall enough to do things like this.

"A little more time, Cloud. I'm pretty sure now, this is what I want."

"You've got all the time in the world, Zack. I'm not going anywhere."

They slept soundly that night; tangled in each other's arms. Zack hadn't asked for any more kissing that day, but Cloud wasn't surprised or upset. He knew this had to be really new for the boy, and he was more than willing to be patient. Hell, up until a little while ago, he didn't think he had a shot at all with Zack.

* * *

The next morning came too soon, as most mornings did when they were together, but Zack still managed to be enthusiastic anyway.

"Come on, Cloud! We've got a boat to catch. Come on, come on, come _ooon_ ," he begged while bouncing on his side of the bed. Cloud eventually just grabbed him the ankle and dragged him back under the covers. The sun wasn't even up yet. Zack yielded with a laugh but as soon as the sun was up, he was back to pestering Cloud.

With no other excuses, Cloud was forced to give in. They got up and packed their stuff up again. As usual, they performed their last minute checks for lost belongings before heading out to the docks. The boat was already docked and loading.

The rest of the party was slow to arrive, and they were rushed by the sailors who wanted to get moving as soon as possible. In that sense, Zack's excitable nature paid off. They were able to board with no hurry.

The vessel was a very small ship compared to the one that Cloud had taken from Junon to Costa Del Sol in his AVALANCHE days. This boat wouldn't be docking at Junon though. They were headed for the extremely small port set up outside Midgar, so the actual craft had to be small enough to pass through the Midgar Strait, the small channel of water between the Northern Continent and the Western.

Cloud and Zack were leaning over the edge of the boat and staring down into the deep water as though they'd see something. The sound of a truck roused Cloud from the frivolous activity and he looked up in time to see another Shinra truck pull up to unload cargo. This wasn't one of the ones that had been with the party thus far…

The cargo they unloaded was covered in canvas tarps and moved below deck quickly.

It all clicked a moment later.

This was the truck that went up the reactor in Nibelheim! Whatever was under those tarps had to have come from the reactor, which meant…

Jenova may be aboard this ship.

Cloud felt his body heat with anger as he wanted to rush over there and rip those tarps off so he could see what they were bringing to Midgar. He'd need to get below deck tonight to investigate.

"What's up, Cloud?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to know what that truck was carrying."

Zack looked up and stared at the truck in confusion. "Oh yeah, I guess they weren't actually with us were they. What do you think it is?"

"I don't know."

* * *

Cloud tried to put the thought of it out of his mind as he and Zack tried to enjoy the day on the boat. By the time that the sun had set, they were offered a place to sleep but Cloud kept feigning that he wanted to stay above deck. Slowly, more and more retreated to sleep, leaving only Zack, Cloud, and the crew up top.

Zack let out a yawn and looked at Cloud. "Ready for bed?"

"Uh… no. Just go on without me, I'll catch up soon," he said casually. Zack looked a little confused but nodded anyway.

"Alright, come down soon. I'll be lonely without you."

When Zack was safely tucked in bed, Cloud finally acted as though he was headed to bed too. He bid the crew a goodnight and went below deck, but he avoided the cabins and went straight for the cargo area.

The space was filled with various boxes of different sizes, but only _this_ cargo was covered in a tarp. Cloud crept up to it and went to pull off the covering.

"Oh man," a voice whispered and Cloud about jumped out of his skin. He moved without thinking and had the person pressed tightly against a large box with his arm over their throat. As the murderous instinct slowed, he realized he had a very startled looking Zack pinned. He let go instantly and backed up.

"Zack? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to… What are you doing down here?"

"I was gonna ask you the same question! I planned to come back up top to get you so we could sleep, but you weren't up there. So I decided to check down here, and there you were! If you were going to investigate you should have told me, I'd have helped," Zack hissed in the darkness of the cargo hold.

"I didn't want to get you in trouble," he whispered back. Zack just pouted.

"Alright, well I'm here now, so too bad. Pull the tarp off and let's see what it is!"

Cloud frowned but moved to do so anyway. When the tarp slid off, what was uncovered was more than Cloud could ever expect.

It wasn't Jenova.

It was a Sephiroth clone.

"Holy shit…," Zack whispered in a horrified voice. "Is that guy _dead_?" The clone was floating in a tube of mako and its silver hair was floating around it. The eyes were closed and bubbles were being pumped in the tube to put oxygen into the mako. It was alive.

"No… he's alive. But why are they bringing him to Midgar? Why now?" Cloud asked out loud without thinking. It didn't matter as Zack was too unnerved to notice.

"Let's get the hell out of here, Cloud. This looks like something we'd get in serious trouble for knowing about." Cloud had to agree, and with Zack involved, he didn't have much choice. He moved to put the tarp back over the clone and noticed the mako filtration system at the back of the pod. It was powered by the mako in the tube, so there was no way to shut it off, but Cloud did manage to twist the tubing until the mako stopped flowing through the filter. This would mean that the inside of the tube would stop receiving oxygen and the clone would, effectively, drown. He checked to see if the bubbles stopped, they had, as he put the cover back over the whole tube.

Zack grabbed his hand afterwards and pulled him all the way to the cabin. They didn't speak of what they'd seen, as it was a shared room, but Cloud could see the worry in Zack's eyes as they crammed into the small bed. He ran his hand through the boy's hair and soothed him. It wouldn't be good to have him worrying about things like this already.

They fell into a fitful sleep after that. Hours later the sound of a crewman coming below woke them.

"Up and at 'em boys, we're about to dock."

Zack gave an upset groan and tried to pull Cloud back to him as he moved to leave the small bunk. He smirked at the fact that the normally energetic boy was suddenly the one begging for more sleep.

One of the other recruits sneered from behind him, "What's wrong? Yer boyfriend tired?"

Cloud turned and sent him a vicious smile before answering, "I hope you're not fond of your tongue. You'll be parting ways with it soon if you keep talking, kid."

The boy was larger, one of the Corel recruits, and he stood up to his full height to intimidate Cloud.

"You wanna go, chocobo boy? I'll kick yer pretty ass."

By now Zack was fully awake and looking between Cloud and the idiot in front of him with an offended expression. Cloud just felt his smile widen.

"I'll even give you the first hit."

The boy didn't bother answering, he just swung. Cloud wished he had a camera to immortalize the face the fool had made when his fist met air. He dropped low and kicked out to destabilize the larger boy. It worked as his foot met his knee and he stumbled backwards. Cloud took the opportunity and threw a punch to his gut before slamming his forearm into his throat, like he'd done with Zack the night before. Only this time, Cloud didn't release.

"You'll watch your mouth if you wanna make it through this program alive. Mess with me, mess with Zack, and I can _assure_ you, you'll regret it," Cloud spat into the flailing asshole's face. Satisfied that his point got across, he stepped back and gestured to Zack for him to follow him.

"You really do know how to fight, don't you, Cloud?" Zack asked as they walked up to the deck.

"I've got experience in defending myself."

Zack smiled at him blissfully despite the circumstances. "You really are just amazing."

They walked to the front of the boat and Zack let out a low whistle. Midgar sat a few miles inland, like a giant floating disc on the horizon.

"So that's our new home, huh?" Zack asked with wonder in his voice. Cloud nodded and stared at the place where everything started and ended. It was like coming home, but in reality… This was just the start of the journey.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still Unbetaed. The hints of Yaoi, no more than last chapter, will be mostly regular from here on out. Gratuitous (and possibly incorrect) use of Military terms, so any corrections that can be pointed out would be appreciated.
> 
> Lots of point A to point B plot in this one which makes it kind of a dull read in my opinion, but it'd be too jarring to skip it altogether. Plus writing this chapter was a 'maybe I can just break my update pattern and get an extra day off' kind of affair.
> 
> NCOIC = Non-commissioned officer in charge.
> 
> ALL time will be in 24h format from this point forward.
> 
> Important: Official canon blood types are being ignored in this chapter. It's one of the few minor canonical details I'm taking creative liberty with. There is a point to it, however small. So yes, Cloud is canon AB, but not in this story. I'm going to get all pseudo-scientific eventually, and this will play an important role.

There were several military vehicles waiting as they disembarked from the ship. The cadets and their belongings were loaded into a single truck while the SOLDIERs and infantrymen took another. Balto stayed behind to apparently oversee the unloading of the cargo, but he did manage to catch Cloud before he was able to get away unseen.

"Ah Mr. Strife, a moment please," he asked without even turning around. Cloud was entirely sick of the Turk mind games at this point, but he relented to one last tête-à-tête.

"Yes?" Cloud knew he was pushing his luck by being so rude with a Turk, but it was hard to be civil with someone who embodied everything wrong with the company; Reno notwithstanding.

"I figured it was best to try once more to convince you to reconsider joining my department. I've come to the conclusion that my initial suspicions of you were correct."

"Suspicions?" he asked carefully.

"Yes, it appears that you've got secrets. I'm not quite sure what they are yet, but rest assured I will be investigating; for the good of the company, of course. However, secrets are in our nature as Turks. I stand by my assumption that you'd be a good fit."

"I appreciate the interest, but I'm going to be a SOLDIER."

Balto finally looked at him then. The frown on his face was thoroughly disappointed as he responded, "So be it, Mr. Strife. I certainly hope for your sake that none of your secrets are dangerous. It would be a terrible tragedy to come between you and your goal; however unambitious it may be."

Cloud frowned in turn. "Don't worry. My secrets won't concern you."

What was left unsaid was that Cloud would make sure Balto didn't live long enough for them to concern him. Rufus got along fine with his standard four Turks, and he could do so again.

* * *

He was free to go after that, so he joined Zack in the truck. Being the last to arrive, he received a few dirty looks for holding them up from reaching Midgar. Even Zack looked like he would have gone looking for him if he'd taken any longer.

"There you are," he said in a low, but sweet voice.

"Sorry, the Turk wanted to have a chat before we got moving." Zack looked momentarily horrified before Cloud realized it sounded like it was about the clone. "It was about recruiting me to his division. Don't worry."

"Whew… Recruiting you, huh? What did you say?" he asked innocently, but Cloud could hear the lurking fear in his voice. He smiled and gave Zack's ear a quick nuzzle. The younger boy just barely restrained his giggling, and the other recruits either chose to look away or sneer in their direction silently. No one was stupid enough to question their relationship after Cloud's _last_ demonstration.

"I'm headed for SOLDIER, Zack. The Turks aren't for me."

The truck rumbled as it started up and lurched as it began moving. Cloud was infinitely thankful to still have his adult-learned immunity to motion sickness. He'd gotten incredibly sick on this short trip when he was actually fifteen and it had been both disgusting and embarrassing beyond compare. Sometimes it was hard for even Cloud to look back at his younger self and find similarities. He had just grown and improved himself so much from his experiences.

The ride to Midgar was thankfully short. Despite being well aware of what was coming, Cloud felt somewhat nervous. Returning to Shinra still presented a great deal of risks for his mission that he'd have to be careful to avoid. Not least of which was making sure to _survive_.

Deaths in the SOLDIER program and, even the cadet program, were quite common; disappearances even more so. If one was to disappear then they were assumed to be killed-in-action or a deserter with little investigation for non-Firsts. This meant everything from cadets to SOLDIER 2nds were easy pickings for the laboratories. Cloud would need to make sure he didn't make enough waves, or to make as many as possible, to either fly under Hojo's radar or become untouchable. Making it to SOLDIER 1st would certainly make him hard to get to, although it wasn't impossible; he still got ahold of Zack after all.

The trucks drove directly onto the plate and headed for Sector 0. Zack took hold of Cloud's hand and squeezed gently. He looked as nervous as Cloud felt on the inside. Most likely even more so, considering he _didn't_ know what to expect. Cloud tried to put on the most reassuring expression he could manage, but it fell short when his own edginess began to peek through. They were dangerously close now.

Arriving at Shinra HQ involved a long lap around the building before reaching the SOLDIER cadet facilities; the other trucks split off to take their passengers to different locations. When the truck that carried the new recruits finally stopped, they were ushered out as quickly as possible by two SOLDIER 2nds who appeared at the back of the vehicle as if out of thin air.

"Let's go, boys! Come on. Move it, move it move it."

All of them collected their belongings and jumped out onto the pavement in time for the truck to speed off. In no time at all, another truck of recruits arrived in place of where theirs had been. The 2nds moved to get this recruits out as well.

Their group was led directly into the building and directed to a side room. It was entirely empty save a large table and two chairs at the front of the room.

Inside, there was a bored looking SOLDIER who read from a wrinkled paper, "You'll be receiving your introductory medical exam momentarily. Be prepared for the following to be tested: blood pressure, eyesight, and hearing. A blood and urine sample will be collected for each of you; this is not optional. A routine physical will be conducted to ensure you are healthy enough to go through basic training. Finally, you will be given a preliminary mako test to check for sensitivities."

"If you fail to pass any portion of this exam or if your blood work indicates drug or mako use, you will be rejected from the program and will be asked to leave or be given the option of joining the infantry. If you later are discovered to be partaking in drug or unofficial mako use, you will be removed from the program. If you are rejected or removed, no return transportation will be provided for you. If you pass, then you will be issued your Shinra ID with clearance to your assigned barracks and _only_ those barracks. You will not be allowed to switch or trade spots with other cadets to control where you are placed."

Zack turned to give Cloud a terrified look. What if they were placed in separate barracks? "It's not alphabetical, is it?" he whispered to Cloud.

"No, but I don't know how they decide," Cloud whispered back while shaking his head.

"You will have a nutrition plan drafted for you to help you maintain an optimal BMI. Your uniforms are already waiting in the barracks. Take care of these as you will be financially responsible for any replacements."

"Your contract serves as a non-disclosure agreement for any sensitive information attained while in Shinra employ. This includes SOLDIER mako treatments; therefore you are required to seek medical attention _only_ from Shinra authorized doctors. Failure to obey this agreement will result in termination with possibility of legal repercussion."

"Lastly, your contract with Shinra Electric Power Company prevents you, your family, or your beneficiaries from seeking legal action against the company in response to, but not limited to: bodily injury, death, loss of income, disruption of payment, mako related injury or dependency, at-will termination, or psychological disorders developed while in Shinra employ. Shinra Electric Power Company reserves the right to expand on this at any time and you are within your right to leave company employ if you are unwilling to accept additions."

In sum, the company can do whatever the fuck it wants and you better keep your mouth shut about it.

"Any questions can be directed to your NCOIC."

At this point, the doctor came in and Cloud let out the breath he didn't know he was holding. It wasn't Hojo. He was a middle aged man in a stark white lab coat, a fact that made Cloud incredibly uncomfortable, and he was holding a clipboard. A few nurses came in behind him carrying supplies for the exam; they placed them on the table.

The doctor looked up from his board and passed his eyes over each of them before moving to sit down in one of the chairs.

"Strip to your underwear," he said in a clipped tone before pointing to the recruit from Cosmo Canyon. "You first."

The exam for the boy took about fifteen minutes before he was sent off to collect the urine sample. When he returned, one nurse drew blood as another brought in a tray of eight vials of mako. It glowed a sickly green against the metal tray and Cloud felt his stomach lurch. Despite needing the mako treatments desperately, he was no more excited to be exposed to the same liquid he spent so much time trapped in while being experimented on by Hojo. The boy from Cosmo Canyon looked sick too as the doctor soaked a piece of gauze in the mako before swabbing the inside of the recruit's elbow. The doctor held on to his extended arm but looked away to the small screen of a hand-held device that the nurse had plugged the syringe of drawn blood into.

"You're blood type AB positive. Cosmo, correct?" The boy nodded while staring at his reddening arm with horror. It was quite bright red at this point. "As expected. SOLDIERs with AB+ often have mild mako sensitivity, which is why you're reacting like this. It seems your sensitivity is low enough that I'm going to pass you. If you make it to SOLDIER, make sure to inform your doctor of your sensitivity before receiving treatments as an alternate method will need to be used for you. You may never advance beyond SOLDIER 3rd if your sensitivity doesn't lessen after initial treatments. Proceed to the nutritionist with this," he said while printing something from the device, "And welcome to Shinra."

With that, the boy was allowed to redress before being led out of the room and a boy from Corel was called next.

Twenty five minutes later, Zack was called. He squeezed Cloud's hand one more time before walking up to take a seat next to the doctor.

"You're A+, a common one. No sensitivities that I can see. You'll be fine for treatments all the way up to First class levels. Head to the nutritionist, and welcome to Shinra," the doctor rattled off while handing Zack his printed data.

After getting his clothes on, Zack decided to run back and give Cloud a quick hug before leaving to see the nutritionist. Cloud was quite grateful for the short moment of comfort, but was also happy that Zack wouldn't have to watch his exam. The tension was mounting for the former lab victim.

* * *

As it happened, Cloud was called dead last for his exam. The SOLDIER who had been there the whole time left and it was just him and the doctor.

He performed the various tests and exercises with no trouble, but when the neutrally dressed nurses didn't return to take his blood he felt his heart start racing. His eyes flicked back and forth to the door in vain hope that they'd come back in.

"I'll be doing your draw as the nurses have moved on to help other doctors. Frightened of needles?" the doctor asked offhandedly as he prepared to take Cloud's sample.

Cloud decided to nod although it wasn't _entirely_ true. He was definitely not fond of needles, but it was really the damn coat that was upsetting him. Hojo never went anywhere without his and all of Cloud's fuzzy memories of the laboratories featured the professor in the same type of lab coat. Couple that with a needle and the smell of mako and Cloud was two steps from having a breakdown.

He just fixed his eyes on the wall to his left as the doctor began drawing the sample. It didn't hurt, but the pinch of the needle gave him the urge to flinch violently. Luckily, blood draws were quick affairs. In no time, the doctor was done and plugged Cloud's sample into the device. As it processed, he moved on to the mako test.

Cloud knew he was sensitive. He always had been and it took a lot of begging to get his initial exam doctor to pass him the first time. He had been told then that his sensitivity was borderline dangerous for SOLDIER, which proved right as Cloud became mako addicted twice later in life.

The burn on his skin as the mako was applied made him clench his teeth. He'd be having a nightmare later because of this.

The doctor frowned ominously at the extreme reddening of his arm.

"You're O-. They have a tendency for dangerous sensitivity and it looks like you've got it. I'm sorry, but—"

"It's just my skin color. I'm pale and it makes it look worse. My father was a SOLDIER and he shares the same blood type. He was able to make SOLDIER 2nd with graduated exposure treatments," Cloud lied smoothly. The doctor seemed to consider his words for a moment.

"I suppose you could be systematically desensitized, but I personally would not give recommendation beyond SOLDIER 3rd. Normally, I wouldn't recommend you for SOLDIER at all given this reaction, but if your father was able to handle the process I'll give you a pass. It's extra paperwork for me to fail you. Be open with your doctor if you make SOLDIER or else you could risk fatal exposure. Neither the company nor its medical staff will be liable if that occurs."

Cloud nodded firmly and accepted the printed sheet that the doctor handed to him.

"You know where to go, and welcome to Shinra."

He pulled his clothing on quickly, grabbed his things, and left. The nutritionist was in the next room. She sat Cloud down and snatched the paper from him rudely. In all fairness, she appeared terribly overworked. She looked over his data and at his body structure as she filled in a blank chart with various checks and notes. He was weighed and had his height measured.

"You'll need to gain weight. This is your plan; make sure you adhere to it. Deviating will hurt no one but yourself and it will make entrance to SOLDIER unlikely. You're given two free meals on the weekend to eat as you like. Do not lose this chart," she ordered snippily before all but ordering him out.

A SOLDIER waited outside the nutritionist's room with a computer in front of him. There was a camera set up in front of a blue painted wall. He took one look at the board in his hand and then at Cloud before asking, "Name?"

"Cloud Strife."

"Alright, you're barracks number 6," he said while punching some info into a computer. He motioned for Cloud to stand in front of the blue and moved to take his photo. Seconds later, an ID card came sliding out of a little tray connected to a large printer. Cloud picked up the still warm card and looked at his picture staring back at him.

"You're free to head to your barracks. A welcome ceremony will be held at 2000 hours tonight. Your NCOIC will lead you to the auditorium."

Cloud nodded once before heading off to find his barracks. Last time he'd been in number 8 of 20, so he figured 6 was probably not far from there.

There were cadets milling around from all over. Many of them had Midgar accents as the vast majority of the recruits came straight from the city.

He found his barracks without much trouble and took a quick deep breath before scanning his ID to open the door.

"Cloud!" Zack all but squealed. The other cadets, none of which Cloud recognized off the bat, all gave them a quick look before returning to their previous activities

Cloud felt his face break out into a wide grin as Zack rushed to embrace him. He had been terrified they'd be separated. They hugged tightly and Cloud pressed a few kisses to Zack's forehead. Thankfully, no one seemed to care.

"I'm so glad we got put together. I'd have probably tried pushing my luck on trading with someone if we hadn't," Zack babbled joyously.

"Mm, I know what you mean. Now let me pick a bed and drop this stuff." His arm was getting tired from lugging around this bag and he couldn't pull Zack closer until he ditched the sword.

He pulled away long enough to set his belongings down on the bed next to where Zack had put his. The individual barracks were comprised of twenty beds and Zack had picked the one that was at the furthest end with only one bed bordering it, Cloud's.

"Why do you need to pick a bed? Can't we share?" Zack asked while flopping down on his chosen bed.

"Yes, but I need to make it look like we aren't if someone complains. Better just to have my stuff already set up over here," he explained as he began to change into one of the uniforms that were tucked in the trunk at the edge of the bed. He was glad to be a standard size this time, which meant he didn't have to go have them exchanged for a larger or smaller uniform. Last time, he needed a much smaller size to make up for his lack of height.

With his stuff in order, he allowed himself to curl up next to Zack for a short while. Their barracks were only half full at the moment and they had the rest of the day to waste before the ceremony. They chose to cuddle and doze for a few hours as the rest of the cadets filed in.

It seemed, from the general lack of acknowledgement towards their closeness, that the set of peers they got was going to be at the very least tolerable. They mostly appeared to be from Midgar and many talked as though they had history with one another. Cloud didn't really care so long as none of them were stupid enough to start any fights. A few of them shot nervous glances at his sword though, so he wasn't overly concerned about keeping them in line.

* * *

The NCOIC for their group arrived not long after the last cadet was settled. He was a Staff Sergeant from the infantry, which wasn't shocking. The job was too low priority to have an actual SOLDIER in charge, but those from the infantry who passed every SOLDIER requirement but the mako sensitivity test often got the positions.

"I'm Sergeant Andrews and I'll be in charge of you lot for the next six months. Your first two will be covering basic training while your last four will be focused on preparing you for the SOLDIER exam. You _will_ respond to everything I say with a 'Yes, sir' or 'No, sir'. Failure to do so will mean you can count on giving me twenty pushups on the spot. And it will be twenty per mistake made. You will greet superior officers with a _proper_ salute. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir!" they all called out simultaneously.

"Give me a salute then!"

They snapped into a salute but Cloud could already see that most of them were doing it too loosely. He quietly bumped Zack's elbow up to move him into the correct position while Sergeant Andrews barked corrections at others.

When he was finally satisfied, after many misfires as people dropped their salutes early, Sergeant Andrews finally said, "At ease."

Cloud dropped his arm, happy to have that over with.

"Now, you've got a real fancy ceremony to attend tonight, so you will be dressing in your formal dress uniforms. Be ready to go at 1940 hours _sharp._ I will _not_ be waiting for anyone to get prettied up."

Most of the cadets in the room, including Zack, looked terribly confused at the usage of military time. Cloud could see several mouthing numbers as they counted.

The Sergeant noticed this too and sneered. His eyes fell on Cloud and he walked right up to him before talking again, "Since all of you boys seem lost, let's have someone explain for you. State your name and tell me when 1940 hours is, Cadet."

"Yes, sir. Strife, Cloud. And 1940 hours is 7:40 pm, sir."

"Good, Cadet Strife. Glad to know not all of my bunch is useless out the gate this year. The rest of you better know that clock _backwards_ by tomorrow, because we won't be translating for you. Training starts at 0600 hours on the field. Be late and you'll be one strike into your three permitted. Don't tempt me; I love weeding out the SOLDIERs from the civilians."

Sergeant Andrews left after that, but not before weaseling another salute out of all of them.

He wasn't too bad of a NCO compared to some of the others Cloud had seen. At least he didn't spit while he barked.

* * *

Cloud was certain to have both him and Zack ready to go well before 1940 hours rolled around. They chose to shower early so their hair wouldn't be wet as they dressed. It had been awkward to be in a shared military shower again, but it looked like it was much worse for Zack. It was obvious that the boy couldn't give a damn about the other boys in the shower seeing him nude, but something about Cloud seeing him completely naked left him red all over. Cloud made sure to keep his glances short and hidden. He was good at controlling his body's reactions, but he wasn't sure he'd be completely able to hold back the interest if he got to stare at Zack while he showered. Getting a hard on the _first_ time he showered in the communal would probably be something impossible to live down.

When 1940 hours arrived, the both of them were dressed and polished. Cloud was busy trying not to trip over himself at how stunning Zack looked in formal dress. Others scrambled to finish their preparations, but it was in vain as Sergeant Andrews stepped through the door as if he'd been standing outside waiting.

"Let's _go_ , kids. I'll show up with only half of you in tow before I show up late."

They walked crisply towards the auditorium and were directed into the 6th row of seats, as corresponding to their barracks.

The stage was hidden by a thick velvet curtain, but many boys were tilting their heads in various directions as if they'd somehow catch a glimpse of what lay behind it. Zack was almost bouncing in his seat next to Cloud.

"I wonder if the Generals will be here," he exclaimed excitedly. Cloud felt his stomach sink. He didn't get a chance to worry about it too long though, as the clock hit 2000 and the lights went down abruptly. The curtain swung open and Cloud's hands clenched so tightly on the armrest that his knuckles were white and the wood creaked.

Sephiroth was in the room. Not more than 40 feet away from him. It was no surprise, _of course_ he'd be here, but it didn't lessen the psychological blow of seeing the man who killed his mother and fiancée.

" _Woah_ ," Zack breathed while looking across the stage. All three of the Generals were up there, but Sephiroth sat more prominently than the other two. At the podium, the President stood.

"Good evening. As most of you know, I am President Shinra and I would like to personally welcome all of you to the SOLDIER cadet program. I'm sure you're all eager to hear our esteemed General speak, but I'd first like to…" the President prattled on as Cloud tuned out.

His eyes were locked dead on Sephiroth, who was lazily sweeping his own eyes over the crowd of cadets. He could feel his jaw clench so tight that he'd feel it later. The man was wearing his usual battle attire, but his sword was nowhere to be seen. It was a small mercy as Cloud probably would have had a panic attack if Masamune had been with him the first time he saw the other.

It was lucky that the room was dark and that Zack was hanging onto every word that the President said, as Cloud was certain that his hatred was written plainly on his face. He couldn't push down the rising anger at the silver General. If he had the choice, he'd charge the stage and just end it _now_. But… that wasn't an option, so he tried desperately to calm himself down. The man wasn't insane yet.

Suddenly, Cloud noticed a look of pure annoyance cross Sephiroth's face. The intimidating man turned his eyes sharply to land on right on Cloud. He looked mildly surprised at whatever he saw on Cloud's face before putting his neutral mask back up and narrowing his eyes. It took more willpower than Cloud knew he had to pull his eyes off the other man. Yet, looking at the President, Cloud could still feel Sephiroth staring at him. It was like having a spotlight turned right at him and Cloud wished he hadn't stared so long himself. It wasn't surprising Sephiroth had noticed given the intensity of his stare, since Cloud had always been able to feel things like that too. Hopefully the man would write it off as an ambitious cadet, but it was likely he wasn't often stared at with so much hostility. Most people worshipped the ground he walked on, just like Cloud once had.

When the President was done talking, Sephiroth stood stiffly and Cloud had a reason to focus back on him. He walked to the podium and surveyed the crowd again before fixing his eyes back on Cloud.

"You're all likely sick of being told 'welcome' so I'll skip it in favor of a warning: you've signed up for a rigorous program that leads to a dangerous job. Hold no misconceptions about the work you all seek to perform. You _will_ be asked to kill if you make it to SOLDIER and you will be following orders whether you agree with them or not. If you intend to leave, do so now. Once you've joined SOLDIER, it will be for life. Most of you will be joining the infantry due to failing the exam at the end of this program, but those that pass will be inducted to the most well-known military organization on the planet. Take care in remembering who you represent when you act."

"All of that said, I wish you luck in your training. It will be interesting to see how many of you are in front of me in six months when the inductions for SOLDIER take place," the taciturn man said in his emotionless voice before moving to sit down. His eyes never once moved from Cloud. Despite the cold address, he received a standing ovation; significantly more applause than the President had earned. Zack was included in this and Cloud felt a measure of jealousy at his sort-of boyfriend's praise of his worst enemy.

Cloud remained seated and glared openly at Sephiroth, who stared right back at him with a small smirk making its way to his face. They both seemed to be thinking the same thing: this isn't over.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed; surprise to no one. Yaoi; bit more on the explicit side but nothing you wouldn't see on TV. More military stuff; get used to it.
> 
> Preemptive warning on canonical change this time: Kunsel and Luxiere are getting a personality modification concerning their last interactions with Zack. Luxiere is even less important and Kunsel is just changing altogether. I'm sorry in advance if you're fond of either character. More will be explored later.
> 
> The questions at the end of this chapter are real questions from an actual psychological test (the MMPI). Take note of how Cloud would actually score on a test like this.

The ceremony was mercifully short after Sephiroth's 'speech', and Cloud didn't have to keep his cool much longer before they were rounded up and sent back to the barracks. The staring contest had continued the entire length of Director Lazard's presentation and through the two short addresses from the Lt. Generals. Sephiroth had seemed to be enjoying the exchange if the smirk he had plastered on his face was any indication. Cloud wasn't overly shocked; Sephiroth had always loved unnerving or upsetting him when they had been more familiar enemies. He probably was just interested in trying to get Cloud to back down.

Cloud hadn't waivered in the slightest.

Holding Sephiroth's cat eye gaze was something many people found unexpectedly challenging. The man had one of the most intense stares on the planet and it made you feel like you were nothing more than prey for the predator. Not entirely untrue, but, prior to Nibelheim, generally unwarranted. Zack's memories showed that they had been close friends for months before Zack had been able to endure a one of his 'famous' glares. Cloud was going to show no such weakness; Sephiroth would just have to be disappointed.

On the way back to their new home, Zack had taken to blurting out all sorts of amazed statements about the ceremony. It was clear that he was as star struck as all the other cadets when it came to the three legendary Generals. Although Cloud understood, he couldn't help but be a little annoyed at the attention Sephiroth was receiving from Zack.

"The General just represents power, doesn't he? I mean, he _is_ SOLDIER," Zack babbled.

Cloud finally couldn't take it anymore; scowling, he snapped, "The man is a monster. Read into what he's done to the Wutai people. If you want a real hero, look at Ang— _Hewley_. He does his job without forgetting to be a decent fucking person in his off time. The other two are just war machines. Good for sensationalism, but they aren't _human_."

Zack paused in his excited chatter to give Cloud a surprised look. Instantly, he felt bad for bringing Zack down. It wasn't the boy's fault that he was young and Cloud had a chip on his shoulder.

"I guess I've never thought about it like that…," Zack said softly. "I suppose the Wutai people really would hate the General for the things he's done. He's killed their people; friends and family. Some of it probably wasn't even ordered. I just want to be strong like him, but I see your point. Lt. General Hewley does seem like the best role model, doesn't he?"

Cloud frowned apologetically at his friend. "I'm sorry, Zack. I didn't mean to snap at you. I just… don't like Sephiroth very much." Zack apparently forgave him as he sprang forward to give Cloud a nuzzling hug.

"It's alright. You've got a good point. But you may just be the only guy here who wouldn't to blow the General just to get a few pointers." Cloud grimaced at the thought and Zack laughed at him. He fixed his eyes on his cuddling friend and stared for a moment or two before Zack rolled his eyes. "Well, _I_ wouldn't obviously. If I'm going to blow anyone, it'd—," Zack cut off quickly as he realized what he was saying. His cheeks turned violently red and he ducked his head to hide from Cloud.

"Oh, come on. Finish what you were saying, Zack. Don't leave me hanging," Cloud said smugly while smirking. Zack punched his arm and muttered something unintelligible. "You're going to have to speak up. I can't hear you." Cloud began to tickle Zack just slightly, but the reaction was anything but slight. Zack howled with laughter and mock indignation while throwing himself away from Cloud.

"That's not _fair_!"

"I thought you were Fair. Sorry I must have been mistaken. Could you tell me where he is? I won't be able to get to sleep without him," Cloud joked with a bright smile. Zack stuck his tongue out and tried to keep his distance as Cloud pursued him in search of another hug.

"Now you're all sweet, huh? Well, save it. I'm not going to repeat myself," he said in a playfully firm voice.

"I've got my methods, Zack," Cloud threatened seductively. The mood changed as Zack gave a quick shiver at his tone. He stopped pulling away as Cloud yanked him back into his arms. They pressed up close and Cloud pulled them off into a side hallway; away from the rest of the walking cadets.

Cloud was going to say something as he turned to look at Zack, but an insistent and warm mouth latched onto his first. He pressed Zack backwards against the wall behind them and delved into the kiss. Zack's arms came around his neck and Cloud put a leg between Zack's slightly parted ones; mostly without thinking. A groan and the feeling of Zack's arousal against his thigh were like gasoline on a raging fire for Cloud, who couldn't help but press forward even further. Their tongues tangled deliciously and Cloud was pleased to note that Zack was fighting to dominate the kiss as much as he was himself. That was a good sign.

Cloud's arms came around Zack's waist and one of his hands played with the belt loops on his dress uniform's pants. Zack really did look _incredible_ in the dark navy color.

Eventually, they separated for breath and Cloud fixed his mouth on Zack's neck to keep things going just a bit longer. Zack's near pained gasp and the desperate twitch of his hips was enough to tell Cloud that he enjoyed it just fine. Cloud quickly undid the top button of Zack's jacket and pushed the fabric away from his throat with his nose. The dark haired boy threw his head back lustfully as Cloud began to suck and bite at his collarbone.

" _Fuck,_ " Zack breathed in a harsh pant. "Please, don't stop."

Cloud wouldn't dream of it. He kept at it until the skin was even more purple than Zack's eyes. Zack just kept rubbing needily against Cloud. Finished with his mark, a primal desire that Cloud just hadn't been able to fight, he finally pulled away to give Zack one last thorough kiss. The sweet desire that Zack was just radiating almost threatened to reignite Cloud's passions beyond control, but he managed to break the kiss and step back regretfully.

Zack gasped urgently for air as though he'd never catch his breath again. His eyes were hazy and lusty as he stared at Cloud from under his bangs.

"I didn't want you to stop," he panted.

"I know, but it's for the best. We're in a hallway, Zack. We've got training at 0600, and you're probably not ready for this yet," he purred lovingly as he pulled Zack away from the wall and into his arms again. The moment was over and Zack just snuggled into the hug and let his head rest on Cloud's shoulder.

"You're right; I'm not. But… Gaia, Cloud. If you knew the things I wanted from you sometimes… It's like I just have these _visions_ , of us being together. I don't know what to make of them, but they just leave me feeling so needy. The first time we met… I didn't want to freak you out…," Zack trailed off quietly.

Cloud looked down at him in confusion and asked, "Freak me out? How?"

"I just like… saw us. Older and laying in this field of yellow flowers. I haven't seen it again, but it was really weird. It's how I knew I needed to stick by you from then on. Now I just see us… y'know, being ' _together_ ', every now and then. Like a dream only more detailed."

So it seemed that he inherited some of his older self's memories when the piece of Zack switched between them. Not anything to worry about, but it probably confused Zack more than a little. Cloud smiled gently and ran a hand through Zack's hair.

"Don't worry about it, Zack. You can set the pace. Just know your own limits, because I'm not always going to be able to pull back when you're being so tempting," he whispered tenderly while petting Zack.

"I'll be more careful, but I wouldn't hold it against you, Cloud. If I push for things too fast for myself, then I've got no one else to blame. I feel like I'm playing with you now. I don't want to lead you on with stuff like what just happened, but then go all frigid again."

"You're young, Zack. You've got all the right in the world to be working through what you want right now before you try to get it. I said before I could be patient, and I will be."

"Mm, alright. But I do know one thing for sure now. I want this. Us. Completely certain; 110%," Zack told him with a fond smile that Cloud mimicked.

"Okay, but you're asking for it. I'm going to have to tell people you're my boyfriend when they ask now."

"Good. That means I can say the same and keep all this competition away from you. I'm not gonna lose out to some hot guy from Midgar," he stated confidently. Cloud just snorted.

"I wouldn't worry about that. You're the only guy I'm interested in, Zack," Cloud assured him while they moved to rejoin the other cadets.

* * *

They made it back to their barracks eventually, though they were the last to arrive. The other boys were talking in a large group and they turned to look at them when they walked through the door. One of them waved them over, and Zack bounded forward to join in on the little introduction affair. Cloud walked over at a slower pace but tried to put on a somewhat friendly face anyway. Luckily for them, he was in a good mood so it wasn't impossible.

"Hey, guys. We were just introducing ourselves since we're going to be together for the whole cadet program. I'm Dawson Glasman, from Midgar. I grew up in Sector 3."

"I'm Zack Fair! From Gongaga." A few people, including Zack himself, laughed. "Yeah it's pretty unknown. When I make SOLDIER it's going to be the news of the year for the village."

They all looked at Cloud then and he shrugged slightly. "Cloud Strife; Nibelheim."

"The mountains, right?" One boy asked and Cloud nodded. "I've got an uncle who worked on the reactor up there. Brevyn Goldizen, by the way. I'm from Midgar too, but Sector 7."

The rest of the group began to introduce themselves after that.

"Jorge Bernassola. I'm from Kalm."

"Trenton Corsini, but you can all me Trent. Midgar slums in the Sector 1 area."

"Charlie Schnur, nice to meet ya! Slums, Sector 8."

"Connor Mcclain. I'm all the way from Junon. Nice to be out of that hellhole," the boy said with a nervous laugh.

The rest of the boys went through their own introductions quickly, but two names caught Cloud's attention. One of them in the worst way possible.

"Hi! I'm Luxiere Auclair. I'm from Bone Village on the Northern Continent." A few people ooh'd and ahh'd at the strange hometown, but Cloud was struck with déjà vu. He knew this person.

He looked at the boy closely and realized that he was someone Zack had known, but the memories were fuzzy. He couldn't remember anything worth noting about the boy so he ignored it. He was probably just an old friend.

The last boy to introduce himself was a kid off to the side with a knitted hat on that hung down into his eyes; obscuring his face. He'd had that stupid thing on all day, but Cloud hadn't paid enough attention to see him without it when they were in dress uniform. By the time Cloud and Zack had made it back, he'd already changed back to casual dress.

"I'm from Mideel. My name is Kunsel Fox."

Cloud felt his blood freeze in his veins.

* * *

" _You know I wouldn't do that to you. We're friends, right?"_

_He had been smiling._

_A small pinging noise echoed through Cloud's mind and through the green haze he could see Zack look down at something. Horror bloomed on his face._

" _No…. No, no, no,_ _ **NO!**_ _You can't do this to me! Not now! DAMMIT Kunsel, WHY?" Zack yelled violently at no one. Cloud shook in confusion as Zack threw whatever he was holding out of the back of the truck. He wanted to ask what was wrong so badly, but his throat still wouldn't work._

_A shot rang out not long after that and Cloud blacked out again._

* * *

The shock slowly receded to let forth a torrent of anger even stronger than he'd felt at seeing Sephiroth. They had been _friends_ and this man betrayed Zack when they were so damn close to freedom. It was his fault that Zack was killed!

The desire to end him right here and now was strong but Cloud knew, even under all the anger, that he couldn't do that. He needed Shinra right now, so all he could do was wait and make him pay later. This traitor's punishment would only be that much worse for the waiting he'd have to do.

Zack, oblivious, introduced welcomed the other boy happily. Cloud was going to have to ask Reno for a few tips on torture.

* * *

About an hour later, Cloud pulled Zack away from the socializing to bring him to bed. 0600 would come quickly, and it was better to be energized for the day ahead than to be exhausted and let a sergeant see it.

Finally in control of his emotions for the evening, he decided to join Zack in the bed nearest to the wall because it left them with no neighbors on any side. Tonight, he chose to strip to his boxers before sliding into bed. Zack stared at him with wide eyes are he pulled his shirt over his head.

"Uh…," Zack started dumbly.

"I prefer to sleep naked, but I'll keep these on for your sake. It's going to be too hot here to sleep clothed. You can keep yours on if you'd like though," Cloud purred at his adorably inexperienced boyfriend. This younger Zack was wonderful in so many ways considering Cloud had grown up to enjoy leading in a relationship later in life. When they'd been together in the labs, Cloud had still had the body of a sixteen year old and limited motor function, so Zack had been dominant in all ways. It was necessity, but Cloud had always assumed that it was the only way Zack would have ever been interested in him anyway. Now he seemed quite interested in the turnabout.

Cloud wasn't going to complain at all. He wouldn't mind even if Zack wanted to flip things around later, so long as he got to keep him for himself. But it'd be a lie to say that he didn't enjoy the prospect of having his cake and eating it too.

Cloud crawled in next to Zack, who still had a blank look on his face. The second he opened his arms, though, Zack lunged into them. The younger boy shimmied out of his own shirt and gave a suppressed, but no less delighted, hiss when their skin touched. Still, he kept his pants on, which was probably for the best.

With a smirk, Cloud yanked the covers over their head and pulled Zack in for a few kisses. It was all Zack could do to keep his needy noises quiet from the other boys in the room. Not like it seemed like anyone cared anyway, so Cloud paid them no mind.

* * *

When the morning came, the cadets need not worry about oversleeping as the reveille went off at 0500 on the dot. Zack jerked out of sleep violently and ended up almost putting his elbow into Cloud's gut, but the blond caught it at the last moment. Cracking open blue eyes, he arched an eyebrow at Zack who grinned sheepishly at him.

"Sorry, Cloud. Nerves, y'know?"

Cloud smiled faintly and gave Zack a kiss good morning before rising from bed. They only had an hour to make it to the field and he wanted to be there on time. Dressing was easy since they didn't have to pick out an outfit beyond their standard uniform. Zack had mentioned a shower, but Cloud explained they'd only be getting dirty again during training, so the shower was best left for later.

The buzzer attached to the door went off as a few infantrymen entered the barracks.

"We've got your boots here. Line up to receive your pair, and please have your size at the ready."

Everyone was given a pair of new combat boots and Cloud set to lacing his immediately. Zack followed suit but had a little trouble doing his own laces; Cloud got the feeling people spent a lot of time barefoot in Gongaga. When he was done with his own, Cloud grabbed Zack's pair and finished lacing them while the younger boy just grinned at him.

Their shoes in suitable condition, they started their walk out to the field. Zack had a bounce in his step not unlike his older self had adopted nearly fulltime. That wasn't to say he didn't look nervous, because he most certainly _did_ , but he also had an air of eagerness. Cloud, on the other hand, looked calm and unmoved by the beginning of his training. He already knew everything they'd want to teach him six ways from Sunday.

The air outside was hot and humid, a product of the mako smog. A Drill Sergeant was already waiting out on the field for all the cadets, but Cloud and Zack were some of the first to arrive. They received an appreciative glance from the stern looking man and he approached them.

"Names?"

"Strife, Cloud, sir," Cloud said respectfully with a salute. Zack was quick enough to follow his lead.

"Fair, Zack, sir."

"Well alright then, Cadet Strife, Cadet Fair. I'm impressed. Showing up ahead of time and following commands correctly is a good sign. Keep that up and you'll go far," he said while clapping them both on the shoulder. He left moments later to do similar with other early arrivals.

Cloud decided to break into a quick warm up routine to get himself ready for the day ahead. The week wouldn't include very much 'training' per se, but it'd be stressful none the less. They'd be put through a basic workout in the mornings and then sent off to go through the rest of their entrance requirements. Next week would start the actual _work_. The first phase would focus on building their strength before the second phase touched on early weapon training and combat skills. The last phase would be entirely based on advanced weapon training and infiltration.

Of course, that was just the first two months. After they passed basic training, they could expect the last four months to be spent mastering their chosen weapon and performing test missions in VR training. The motto of the cadet program had always been 'Build and apply'. The later months were where the SOLDIERs emerged from the rest of the group as those who put in more time got better results. The path taken through training at that point was mostly self-directed as there were many weapons available to specialize in; even though most still chose a variety of sword. The SOLDIER exam would be testing them as individuals on their weapon mastery and combat capability.

Cloud had failed the exam spectacularly when he was younger. It was conducted in VR training and he'd managed to fail the mission in almost record time. He'd chosen to enroll in the infantry to avoid returning to Nibelheim, but he knew that he'd never take the SOLDIER exam again. When he met Zack, he tried to convince Cloud to retake the exam on the next pass after they trained a little together, but he never got a chance when the mission happened.

A whistle blowing sharply cut through his thoughts and he looked up to see the Drill Sergeant in front of everyone. The rest of the cadets had arrived while he was lost in thought and the field was filled with nearly 400 cadets. The man activated a band around his neck to amplify his voice before speaking.

"Attention!" he barked and Cloud's body moved into position without thought. He corrected the rest of the confused group on their postures immediately as very few reacted as Cloud had. When they were all at attention properly, he continued. "I'll be your Drill Sergeant for the next two months. My name is Sgt. Wall. No it is not a joke, and anyone who makes one will be running laps till the sun sets. Now give me twenty push-ups."

Once again, Cloud moved immediately and began the set. It wasn't that he was accustomed to taking orders so much as he was accustomed to giving them himself, so it was easier to adapt. Being insubordinate wouldn't get him anywhere in Shinra. However he'd come to a realization the night before. Instead of backing down and trying to fly beneath the eyes of Hojo, he'd take the opposite track. He'd go above and beyond until he was forced out of the scientist's reach all the while pushing him closer to Sephiroth. Getting to the aloof psychopath would be much easier as a SOLDIER 1st than as a 3rd.

Sgt. Wall kept the exercises short and simple but it still left many winded. Unlike Cloud, the majority of the boys here had no prior experience with military exercises, so they could handle significantly less. Their stamina would improve quickly, just as his had, but it would take time. Some fared better than others though; like Zack, whose endless energy made the short workout trivial.

They were given a half-mile jog to finish up with before returning to Sgt. Wall for further orders.

"I hope you aren't too tired yet, boys. This was just a taste of what's to come. Next week it won't be sets of twenty, but sets of thirty. Then sets of forty. Then sets of fifty. It's not going to get any easier than this, so if you've got doubts: I'd think them over long and hard tonight. Now, we're not doing any more today. You'll report back to where your med checks happened and get your haircuts and psych evals. Midday, you'll be back at the auditorium to listen to a lecture on Shinra values. Don't make those faces; you'll be having these little talks for the rest of the week. Savor it while you can, because next week you're all mine. Training is over for the day."

Cloud snapped a salute, and Zack, used to copying him by now, did so too. A handful of others did the same around them, but the rest had turned and started walking away.

"Stop!" Sgt. Wall shouted to those walking away. Everyone paused and turned back around. "Take a look around, kids. If you didn't put up a salute before walking off you can all do another half mile. Those of you who did: dismissed." There was a stunned silence that turned into angry grumbles as more than 85% of the cadets returned to the track to do another jog. Cloud smirked at them and started to leave.

"You really know this military stuff, huh? I'd have been one of those people left behind if I didn't have you beside me! Where'd you learn all this, Cloud?" Zack asked with an amazed tone.

Cloud shrugged and replied, "I had a few people from my hometown give me a few pointers before I left."

"Well, I owe them some big thanks too then," Zack laughed.

* * *

They were the first cadets to arrive for haircuts and so they got pulled in immediately. Cloud had his longer hair chopped off and was left with the same style he'd worn for years as an adult. Satisfied, he thanked his barber and moved to wait for Zack. The younger boy was arguing with his barber about cutting his hair at all.

"It's fine how it is, I tell you!" he asserted.

"I'm just going to trim it," the barber growled.

In the end, they settled on a _very_ short trim. Zack still didn't look happy and he pouted when he saw how amused Cloud looked.

"Don't laugh; I know it looks horrible."

"Zack, you can barely tell you had it cut at all. You didn't let him take anything off."

"Still too much," he grumbled before looking again at Cloud in shock. "They cut like _all_ of yours off! Oh… you look good like that. Keep that style."

"I probably will," Cloud said with a mysterious smile.

* * *

After that, they were split up for psych evaluations and led to private rooms. The one Cloud was led to had a desk and two chairs, and in one of them was a friendly looking woman. She, unfortunately, had a fucking lab coat on, but at least there shouldn't be any needles involved here.

"Hello there! I'm Dr. Scilla. Please have a seat." Cloud sat down and she continued, "I'm going to start you off with a few simple questions. We'll begin with your name."

"Cloud Strife."

"Nice to meet you, Cloud. Now, date of birth?"

"August 11th… 19..81," he said awkwardly as he tried to figure out his new birth year. She didn't seem to notice.

"Sixteen, then?" To which Cloud nodded. "Any previous psychological issues?"

"No."

"Medications you've been prescribed?"

"None."

"Could you tell me why you've decided to join Shinra?"

"SOLDIER."

She smiled enigmatically and said, "You're fond of short answers, Mr. Strife." He didn't bother responding. "I'm going to give you a simple questionnaire for you to fill out. Please answer truthfully," she said as she slid a piece of paper and a pen across the desk.

He picked up the pen and began filling things out. He schooled his expression into a bored and neutral mask. He'd be graded on his appearance during this eval as well as his answers, and his facial expression could betray a lot of things.

Some of the questions were easy to answer: Do you prefer animals or flowers, for example. Flowers, obviously. Aeris' lilies flashed through his mind and suddenly simple questions weren't so simple anymore. His heart gave a quick clench at the thought of her and where she could possibly be right _now_. With effort, he was able to finally pull his thoughts back on track to continue the questionnaire.

'I have a good appetite'; he marked true, but it wasn't always like that.

'Evil spirits possess me at times'; false on paper, true in reality. He really had to suppress the urge to smirk at the thought of answering these truthfully.

'Much of the time my head seems to hurt all over'; Sephiroth's control over him made this very much true when he had been in AVALANCHE.

'Parts of my body often have feeling like burning, tingling, crawling, or like "going to sleep"'; did flashbacks to being submerged in mako count?

'I have had very peculiar and strange experiences'; oh he'd just been a terrorist, saved the world, died a few times and been sent back. But nothing major.

'I see things or animals or people around me that others do not see'; only the great Silver General every time he looked in the mirror. Or his dead friend and fiancée.

'I am sure I get a raw deal from life'; Cloud actually couldn't stop the smirk at this one.

He finished the rest of the questions quickly and realized near the end that almost all of it was lies. That probably wasn't a good sign, but he still handed the paper back to her confidently. Changing answers would do him no favors.

The doctor put the paper into what sounded like a paper scanner below her desk and retrieved a printed page a moment later. She read over what he assumed to be his score and frowned ominously.

"You've scored abnormally high on L and K."

"Excuse me?"

"The lie and correction scale. It means you've most likely fabricated all of this and are trying to hide something. Would you like to come clean?"

"Everything I've marked is true," Cloud responded in a deadpan voice.

"I'm afraid that I'll have to refuse to believe that. It's—"

" _Everything_ I've marked is true." He fixed his eyes directly on hers and dared her to question it further. Her mouth hung open stupidly as he forced her hand. Unnerved, she finally coughed and sat back in her chair. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife at this point.

"Yes… Of course. I apologize. You've passed. Have a nice day."

Cloud pushed his chair back, gave her one last stare, and left. Zack was waiting outside the building for him and Cloud felt his mood improve instantly. His boyfriend sprinted into his arms and Cloud relaxed. They'd have to summon Meteor itself to pull him away from where he belonged, and that was _right_ here.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed, but you all expected that by now. More Yaoi, which is ramping up to the point that non-yaoi fans should probably look elsewhere now cause any het is still a long ways off. Minor Time-skip. As much as I'd have loved to write all two months of basic training, it just didn't hold much sway over the rest of the story. Angst near the end.
> 
> AIT: Advanced individual training.
> 
> Note about Zack: Cloud may be in an eternal loop of adulthood, but Zack is still growing mentally and emotionally.

Basic training flew by faster than Cloud could have anticipated. After their reception week was over, Sgt. Wall had thrown it into high gear and began pushing them hard every day. It was mildly surprising, and Cloud found himself pondering the strenuous training at times. His first experience as a cadet had been much more relaxed.

He didn't have to ponder for long though, as it became clear that the war in Wutai was burning through SOLDIERs faster than the program could crank them out. The cadet program was intensified to yield faster results and stronger SOLDIERs at the risk of narrowing down the graduate numbers. Within the first month, the initial 400 became around 250.

Cloud didn't bother complaining, as this breakneck pace suited him just fine. Zack had little trouble keeping up as well, and, by the end of basic training, Cloud was seeing more and more of the older SOLDIER in his boyfriend.

Zack matched him mile for mile on the track and push-up for push-up on the ground. It'd become a friendly competition to see who'd come out on top for the day. Unfortunately, for Cloud at least, this left them dog tired when they finally reached their bunk and their relationship had paused at kissing for the time being.

The pause wasn't entirely terrible though, because it gave Zack time to become wholly comfortable with the nature of their relationship. The two no longer felt the need to hide behind walls when they wanted to share a quick kiss. The other cadets in the barracks had long taken their bond in stride.

* * *

Today was the last day of basic training, and the remaining 174 cadets were standing in front of Sgt. Wall for the last time. He was looking over the lines with badly suppressed pride.

"From this day forward, you'll be in charge of motivating yourself. No one is going to hold your hand all the way to SOLDIER. It would be my greatest pleasure to see all of you there in four months when they welcome you to SOLDIER, but I know that will not happen. The cream rises to the top, boys. Prepare for your exam as if you were being shipped off to Wutai tomorrow," he said loudly but meaningfully.

"Now, at attention!" They all snapped into position perfectly. Sgt. Wall raised his hand and gave them all a salute which they responded to in kind. He gave an uncharacteristic smile before barking, "Dismissed!"

Loud cheers rang out across the group and Zack pulled Cloud into a side hug. They were both grinning and Cloud let himself feel accomplished for a few moments. He was on track for SOLDIER, and some part of him deep inside was excited at the prospect of reaching his old dream after all this time.

As the rest of the cadets began to walk off to celebrate before their AIT began tomorrow, Cloud heard him and Zack get called back.

With a glance at one another and a few confused blinks, they returned to Sgt. Wall. He graced them both with a beaming smile and a clap on their shoulders.

"Congratulations, boys. You're my best performers this round, and I'm proud. You've both given it your all and I've taken notice of that. I called in a few favors and I think you'll be excited to see what I've managed to pull off. Follow me," he ordered and started walking away.

Cloud wasn't sure what exactly what was coming, but he felt his nerves tense at some more gruesome thoughts. Certainly this wouldn't involve the science department, right? Sgt. Wall had been good to them over the last two months and it was clear the man was genuinely proud of their hard work, so Cloud was reluctant to assume the worst.

It was true that they'd been the clear outliers out of this group in terms of skill. Cloud's motivation helped him overcome his physical limitations and Zack's eagerness kept him alongside Cloud in progress. Some of the other cadets had tried to follow their example and ended up falling short. It created a little hostility between them and the others at times; mostly for Cloud as Zack had an uncanny habit of being friends with everyone.

Sgt. Wall led them to a jeep and asked them to hop in. They did so, but it was shocking that they actually had to travel on base to reach whatever this surprise may be. Cadets rarely if ever were taken to the main building as their facilities had everything they needed. But that certainly was where he was taking them. Reaching the main building, he parked and brought the two confused boys right into the heart of Shinra Inc.. They caught the elevator up… to the forty-ninth floor.

Cloud's assumptions all flew out the window as they were directed onto the _SOLDIER_ floor. How Sgt. Wall even had clearance to be up here, Cloud wasn't sure.

A few 3rds and 2nds were milling around and they all shot them confused looks as Sgt. Wall took them right into the briefing room.

Cloud could have sworn he heard Zack's jaw drop, but it was hard to tell over his pounding heart. The adrenaline would take time to return to normal levels, but the sheer relief at seeing _only_ Angeal waiting was palpable.

The Lt. General gave a friendly smile and stood to greet them. Sgt. Wall snapped into a salute and both boys followed. Angeal gave a casual wave at them.

"At ease, at ease. You don't have to do stuff like that with me. Save that nonsense for Sephiroth. It's good to see you again, Ben. These must be those promising cadets you mentioned."

"You bet. Sorry we're a bit late; got a little talkative with the bunch. Last day, you know. Now, boys, I've been talking to Angeal here about getting you two mentored for your AIT. You've both expressed interest in heavier sword work, and you won't find a man on Gaia better at wielding them than the one before you."

Angeal shook his head in denial for a moment before saying "Come on, Ben. I'm not some legend. You can save that for Sephiroth too. However, I'd be happy to mentor you both if you were interested. If we've already heard about you both all the way up here, then you'll likely be joining us in four months. No reason to hold off on getting you a little more hands-on experience ahead of time."

Zack's energy reached an all-time peak as he tried to keep his bouncing in place to a respectable level. "That would be… Gaia, that would be _awesome!_ " he said enthusiastically; an understatement.

They all looked at Cloud then who moved his mouth a few times uselessly while trying to find his voice.

"I—I'd be honored, sir."

It was another understatement as what was left of Zack inside his soul filled him with desperate fondness for his old mentor. It left Cloud feeling like he did with Zack when he was the younger one; minus the attraction.

Angeal smiled again and crossed his arms over his chest. "Well, alright. I'm going to want you both reporting to me each day, so Ben and I thought it best to give you the chance to move into the main building. We'll set you up with a SOLDIER 3rd apartment and get you clearance for this floor. Consider it… an advance on the perks of SOLDIER."

The boys just grinned.

* * *

They were taken back to their barracks where their friends were preparing to go out to Sector 8 to celebrate. It was one of the few occasions they were allowed to leave base as cadets, so no one wanted to miss the opportunity. Everyone gave them confused stares as Sgt. Wall came in behind them. He was going to be the one taking them to their new apartment when they were packed, so he decided to come wait.

"Don't mind me, boys. Go on about your business."

The stares left the man and moved straight to Cloud and Zack who both shrugged. They set to packing up quickly, and it didn't go unnoticed.

"Woah… Where are you guys going?!" Luxiere asked in a horrified tone. "You're not being kicked out are you?"

Everyone's heads whipped back and forth between them and Sgt. Wall frantically.

"No way; you guys are the best here! They can't boot you!" Dawson cried.

Suddenly a flood of concern caused the noise in the small barracks to skyrocket. All of the other boys were pestering them incessantly to find out why they were being told to leave and a few were begging Sgt. Wall to reconsider.

Eventually it got to be too much and Sgt. Wall shouted, "Calm down! No one is getting their asses kicked out."

The room went deathly quiet for a moment before Kunsel asked curiously, "Then where are they going?"

Cloud growled under his breath but no one heard it over Zack's exuberant explanation of their new mentoring. Several people let out surprised noises, but almost all of them had a similar look of envy on their faces.

"So why do you guys get special treatment?" one of the boys, Blake, asked.

"Because they worked harder than you, Cadet Padgett," Sgt. Wall crooned mockingly. Blake had always given him trouble in training and there was no love lost between the two.

No one bothered asking again and they all just watched passively as Cloud and Zack finished packing. Cloud grabbed his sword, which had been thoroughly neglected over the last two months, and he was ready to go.

"We'll still see you guys around! Besides, we'll all be making SOLDIER together, right? Just keep working hard and we'll all be kicking ass together again soon enough," Zack said soothingly as they were led back out to the jeep. Behind them, the other boys called out goodbyes and wished them good luck, even if their tone didn't sound like they meant it.

* * *

They were taken back to the main building and issued new IDs with clearance for the SOLDIER floor and apartments. Their apartment was a standard two bedroom with a kitchen and living room. It certainly wasn't a SOLDIER 1st accommodation, but it would suit their needs just fine. Only one bedroom would get used anyway.

"Now I want to make it clear: you're being given a lot of freedom long ahead of time, so you'd better be careful how you use it. I wouldn't want either of you to get a wild hair up your ass and get removed from the program."

Both of them nodded studiously as Sgt. Wall went over the expectations being placed on them as mentored cadets. It apparently wasn't an unheard of event, but it was rare enough that people would most likely be confused.

With a final word of congratulations, Sgt. Wall left them to their own devices. They took one look at each other and raced for the bedroom.

Cloud pushed Zack back against the _much_ nicer sheets of their new _queen_ sized bed and reveled in the sound of the laugh his boyfriend gave. He straddled his hips and kissed a line all the way down Zack's neck before latching onto his collarbone, as was his favorite place to nibble at.

"Can you believe it, Cloud? _Us_. Mentored by the great Lt. General Angeal Hewley! We're gonna be 1st classes someday, no doubt!"

"Mhmm," Cloud hummed from his place giving Zack love bites. The vibrations tickled Zack's skin and he shrieked in laughter and flipped them. Now on top, he stripped off his shirt and gave Cloud a wicked grin.

"Y'know… we could get up to all sorts of fun now that we're alone," Zack purred meaningfully with a not-so-subtle roll of his hips.

Cloud smirked up at his, now very nicely toned, boyfriend. Zack had come to grips with their relationship and now took pretty much everything in stride. They probably would have had sex already if they hadn't had to share quarters with so many other people. Not that Zack was always dissuaded by that. Some nights Cloud had barely managed to contain Zack's interest before they got a shoe tossed at them. Even their showering together had begun to push boundaries that made other people uncomfortable.

"We could...," he said, trailing off meaningfully. "Or we could wait till our first time is more than just a christening ritual. _Then_ we could get up to 'fun' whenever we felt like it."

Zack pouted down at him and rolled his hips again as though he was going to convince Cloud to change his mind through stimulation alone. Cloud pulled him down for a kiss and rolled them back over so he was on top again.

Pressing an elbow into the bed and propping himself up, he said, "Don't worry. I'll satisfy you just fine," and began to roll his own hips directly against Zack's. The younger boy, who had only recently had his own birthday, gave a throaty moan and lifted up to meet the pleasurable onslaught.

They stripped out of the rest of their clothing and moved back to continue what they were doing before. It was the first time they'd been completely skin to skin with one another and Zack looked like he was two steps from heaven. Cloud could understand, of course, because just _watching_ Zack was enough to get him off.

It wasn't long before they reached a fever pitch in their motions. Zack let out one last deep moan and arched his back off the bed beautifully. Cloud was quieter about it, but no less contented with the results. Falling in a heap, they panted together in exhaustion. As much as they would have loved to remain there all night, two growling stomachs intervened with that plan. It was with great regret that Cloud backed off of his lover to survey the kitchen. Naturally, it was completely bare.

He walked back to the doorway of the bedroom and raised an eyebrow at Zack, who was still trying to recover.

"I think we're eating out tonight."

* * *

The next morning, they arrived bright and early for their first training session with Angeal. The older man was waiting patiently in the briefing room where they'd first met by the time they arrived. He brightened and raised his cup of coffee in greeting when they entered.

"Good; you're on time. We're starting with basics today in the SOLDIER gym. From now on you'll be meeting me up there, on floor sixty-four. You should both have clearance for it already."

They made their way up to the gym and Angeal led them straight to the training area. The ground was padded and various types of swords hung on the wall. Angeal grabbed a small broadsword and handed it to Zack, who didn't have one of his own.

"I see you've got a sword, Cloud. I can call you Cloud, right?"

"O—of course, sir," Cloud sputtered more out of shock than anything.

"Angeal, please. And you, is Zack alright?"

"Yup!" Zack said cheerfully.

"Good. Now, Cloud how much experience do you have with that sword? It doesn't look very well used, but it's not new either," Angeal asked while holding out a hand for the blade. Cloud handed it to him without hesitation.

"It was my sixteenth birthday present. I've only fought a few monsters in my hometown with it, si—," he responded while cutting himself off at the end. It was vaguely annoying that calling people 'sir' was already a habit again. Angeal just smiled and returned his sword.

"It's a good blade, but you'll likely find something better when you make it to the upper levels of SOLDIER. Still, you'll be better off in practice with a sword you know. Now take the stance most natural to both of you."

Zack assumed the standard cadet position while Cloud, against better judgment, took his usual fighting stance.

"Alright, Zack, you're too tense. Loosen those shoulders. You're not swinging a bat. Cloud; that's good. Very good, but I'm surprised you're wielding one-handed. Generally people take a two-handed approach with a broadsword. You'll find it hard to hold your weapon firmly enough without mako."

Cloud nodded and assumed a more proper version of Zack's stance. He had always had the strength to wield his weapons one-handed, unlike Zack who had held the Buster Sword with two hands. He'd just have to wait till he had the mako to switch back to it.

The rest of the time was spent going over extremely basic sword stances and how to keep yourself guarded at all times. Cloud was more than a little familiar with these subjects, having learned them as a cadet and Zack's memories of Angeal drilling it into his head, but it was fascinating to watch Zack learn everything from scratch. The younger boy soaked up the information like a sponge and fixed his eyes on Angeal as though he were a god.

They spent almost the whole day with Angeal and the man seemed surprised when he noticed how late it was getting.

"Oh hell, look at the time. I've monopolized your whole day. Come on, let me treat you both to some dinner."

* * *

An hour later, they found themselves joking around and laughing in Angeal's spacious apartment while he cooked hamburgers for them. He was certainly good spirited for having a calm appearance. A bond was forming right before Cloud's eyes between Angeal and his past—future— _current_ student. Zack's playful nature seemed to appeal to the fun-loving side of Angeal and he was already doting on Zack like a younger brother. Cloud found this almost too cute to stand, and was pleased to note he was _not_ jealous.

Sometimes he found himself jealous over things that made no sense at all, and it often resulted in the young couple coming closer to an argument then they ever did over anything else. Had Angeal raised any red flags, then training with the man would have been unbearable. But no, it was clear Angeal's interest was platonic and familial in nature, so Cloud was able to relax and enjoy watching them be happy.

* * *

When they were finished with dinner, he'd sent them off with promise to see them the next day in the gym. Cloud and Zack walked down the halls of the SOLDIER 1st floor in a silly daze; joking and tickling each other every now and then. Cloud almost felt like he was floating in a dream, because things seemed too good to be true.

Unfortunately, Cloud was still _Cloud_. And nothing came free for him.

They stood outside the elevator; waiting for it to arrive and talking sweetly to one another when it finally opened. Like being dunked in ice water, Cloud's good mood evaporated.

Sephiroth stood alone in the elevator in front of them.

Cloud's hand twitched upwards in a motion to draw his sword, but Zack's loud, "Sir!" and following salute was able to snap him back into reality before he made a fatal mistake. Cloud continued the motion upwards with his hand but turned it into a salute. Nothing could be done about the murderous rage that was written plain as day on his face though.

Sephiroth's eyes scanned between them before settling on Cloud in a way not unlike they had during the ceremony months ago.

"Hmm... We meet at last. Cadet... Strife, isn't it?" Sephiroth asked in a low voice while stepping out of the elevator. Zack took a step back in response to give the man more room, but Cloud stood still right where he was; in the path of the General. His lips twisted into a snarl instead of the curt 'yes' he'd been aiming for.

"I see. So I wasn't mistaken when I noticed your dislike of me. Would it be rude of me to ask what it is I've done to deserve such... hatred? Certainly you're not from Wutai."

Zack's eyes were wide and horrified as he looked from Cloud to Sephiroth and back.

"Cloud...," he whispered, terrified.

Without thinking, the sound of Zack's fear caused him to move suddenly between him and Sephiroth to shield him from the other man. It was unnecessary and even made things all that much worse as Sephiroth's hand moved to his sword in response to the sudden movement. Zack just fell backwards with a surprised cry.

The noise sparked something of a chain reaction as Angeal came rushing out of his apartment and found the three men like this.

"What the hell is going on? Sephiroth, what are you _doing_?" Angeal asked, incredulous, as he saw Sephiroth's hand on Masamune's hilt.

As if he'd woken from a trance, Sephiroth's eyes finally broke away from Cloud's and looked at his hand in shock. With obvious effort, he pulled his hand away and stepped past all of them before stalking away to his own apartment.

A slammed door was all that signified that the confrontation was definitely over.

Angeal looked back to Cloud and Zack with wide eyes before he moved to help Zack off the ground. Cloud was just staring at where Sephiroth had disappeared to.

"Care to explain?" he demanded. Cloud just looked at him blankly.

"Uh! The General seemed suspicious about why we were on this floor and Cloud told him we were just visiting you. I don't think the General believed him. I tripped and Cloud moved to help me. But he moved really quickly, so I think maybe the General though he was gonna attack... or something," Zack finished lamely. It was a terrible excuse, but Angeal seemed to accept it for the moment.

"Alright. Get on home and I'll talk to Sephiroth. I apologize. Sometimes he forgets to put his emotions on when he rolls out of bed in the morning."

Zack gently wrapped a hand around Cloud's forearm, causing him to look at Zack sharply before relaxing.

"Come on, Cloud. Let's go home," he coaxed. Cloud followed, but in a near stupor.

* * *

Zack worried desperately about his lover who hadn't said a word since the altercation with Sephiroth. Cloud had just gotten home, stripped, and gone to bed. He hadn't even kissed Zack goodnight, which was _unheard_ of in their relationship.

Now Zack was watching Cloud's back as his boyfriend had another nightmare. It wasn't the first time this had happened, but it was certainly the most violent. Cloud's arms were twitching uselessly by his sides and his eyes were darting around beneath his lids. Every now and then Cloud mouthed something that Zack couldn't understand.

He wanted to help. He really, really did, but Cloud was sensitive to touch when sleeping and he had a feeling that waking him could turn out even more violently than the dream. Zack knew that Cloud would never forgive himself if he hurt Zack accidentally.

"Nng," Cloud groaned in his sleep. Zack focused urgently in hopes of hearing something. "Z—Zack... No. Not Z..." His name? What was Cloud dreaming about that he would call out something like that? " _Aeris_ ," Cloud breathed in horror before falling silent.

Aeris? Who was that? A former girlfriend was all that Zack could assume. He knew Cloud was an only child, so it couldn't be a sister. A hot rush of jealousy filled him before falling away. He couldn't be jealous all that much, despite it being obvious that Cloud had a _ton_ more experience in relationships than he did. Whoever those people Cloud once loved were, they had helped shape the man _he'd_ found love with.

And Zack knew it was love. It had to be, even if they hadn't said it yet. Nothing else could feel so damn powerful at all times. Nothing else could take him from the highest highs of joy to the lowest lows of terror as he watched his lover stare down the most dangerous man on Gaia. Now he was filled with utter sorrow at not being able to heal him.

 _Sephiroth_... What clue did the Silver General hold to understanding his Cloud? The man didn't act like they'd met, but sometimes Cloud talked as if they'd known each other very well. It was a slip of the tongue, Zack was sure, but it happened often enough for him to realize it was Cloud hiding something, not just making a mistake.

A few tears slid down Zack's cheeks as he remembered the looks they were giving each other. He wasn't one to cry often, but he honestly thought Sephiroth was going to kill Cloud. And Cloud... Cloud had moved between him and Sephiroth. _To protect him_. What could be so frightening about Sephiroth that Cloud risked his own life to put his body between him and Zack?

Nothing made sense, but Zack trusted Cloud enough not to grill him about it when his lover woke up. Making Cloud suffer anymore would be agony anyway. He'd figure it out eventually, and, when that time came, he'd be ready to help Cloud.

* * *

Many floors above, Angeal was having a 'discussion' with Sephiroth.

"If what Zack said was true, then what in the _hell_ were you thinking, Sephioth? By God, even if it wasn't true! What if you had actually drawn your sword and hurt one of them?"

Sephiroth was staring at a wall with his chin balanced on his laced fingers. Angeal hadn't fallen silent in over an hour, and, although he understood he deserved it, it was beginning to grate on his nerves.

"What is it? PTSD? Have you left all common sense in Wutai? We're in Midgar, not at war."

"I'm well aware, Angeal. I will apologize tomorrow if it will get you to be quiet."

"Oh no. _I'll_ apologize for you. You probably scared those boys half to death."

"Strife was anything but scared," Sephiroth contended with an annoyed voice. He may have done the strange boy a favor by accepting the presented alibi, but this mystery had only deepened and Sephiroth fully intended to unravel it.

"Cloud is a little headstrong, but he's still a kid. I'd have thought you'd be interested in someone willing to stand up to you," Angeal said from the kitchen where he'd walked to get a drink after his long tirade.

"I _am_ interested. It was never my intention to end the meeting with hostilities. It just... unfolded in such a manner."

Angeal returned to the room and gave Sephiroth at chiding glare. "Well, keep your interest on the down low. Somehow I don't think Cloud will be as eager to meet with you again as you might be to see _him_."

"My patience is legendary."

Angeal snorted and responded, "Only when it concerns things you don't care about."


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Same warnings as usual + another relatively minor Time-skip.
> 
> This one is almost all point A to point B plot advancement. AKA not much action that's really crazy important. The big stuff picks up again next chapter.

Zack had worried what the morning would bring, after the tense night before, but Cloud woke up bright and early as usual and began going about his day.

Zack couldn't help but watch his lover out of the corner of his eye as he dressed and prepared to see Angeal for the day. Cloud had a neutral mask on, but he didn't seem emotionally _damaged_ or anything. The younger boy wondered if he should bring it up again or ignore it like Cloud was doing.

In the end, it wasn't his choice. "Zack, I'm fine. I wasn't expecting to run into him last night, but I'll be prepared next time," Cloud murmured from across the room. Zack bit his lip nervously at the tone of the word 'prepared'.

"Y—you're not gonna get into another fight are you?" Zack asked with his voice wavering. He'd tried to keep it steady, but the idea of Cloud and Sephiroth meeting again suddenly filled him with immediate terror. Cloud must have heard it cause he froze for a moment before all but throwing himself back into bed and pulling Zack into his arms. Zack allowed himself to be held and buried his face in Cloud's shoulder. An inopportune flash of the General's hand on his sword through his thoughts was all that it took for Zack to break down. He let out a single sob into Cloud's shirt and felt his lover run his hand through his hair.

"Shh, Zack. Shh. I'm not going to get myself killed. Next time I see him I'll just leave. Just promise me you'll avoid him too, because if I see him anywhere near you it will be so much worse," Cloud said soothingly into Zack's ear.

"B—but... You looked like you really wanted to hurt him Cloud... What if... What if he comes looking for you or something? He might try to kick you out of the program," Zack mumbled through Cloud's shirt.

"He won't kick me out and he won't hurt me either. Not... Not yet. But when I make SOLDIER, I've got a score to settle."

"Please don't! If he killed you Cloud, I don't know what I'd do," Zack begged with clenched hands. Couldn't Cloud see what the idea of losing him was doing to Zack? Cloud was one of the best things to ever happen to him and it'd kill him to lose him.

Slowly, Cloud coaxed Zack into looking at him. His face was regretful and he brushed away the few tears in Zack's eyes as he cupped the younger boy's face. He pressed a gentle kiss to his lips and whispered, "I swear to you, Zack. I swear I will never leave you. But there are things... I have to do. I can't tell you—"

"It's okay, Cloud. I... I don't need to know. Not right now at least. You've got your secrets, but I trust you. I know you wouldn't be keeping them if you didn't have to. Just please don't fight the General if you can avoid it. He's the strongest man on the Planet...," Zack said softly as he fell back into Cloud's arms.

"I've got nothing to fear from Sephiroth... Not when it comes to myself. But I've got things, people, to protect. When I said he was a monster, I wasn't joking."

"Let me help you then!" Zack burst out desperately before continuing in a quieter voice, "I'll help you fight. I can protect you and you can protect me. You don't have to go it alone, Cloud. We're family now, right?"

Cloud smiled faintly and kissed Zack's forehead. "Yeah... We're family."

It didn't answer Zack's request, but it was good enough for the moment, so he pulled Cloud into a more proper kiss and poured all the love he felt into it. He may not be ready to _say_ it, but that didn't mean his actions couldn't show it. Cloud seemed to have gotten the message as he responded with as much fervor. Together, they tumbled back into bed for just awhile longer.

* * *

They arrived at the SOLDIER gym about ten minutes late and they both wore sheepish expressions when approaching Angeal. Oddly, the man looked relieved.

"Oh good, you're here. I was afraid that incident last night would scare you both off. I just want to say right now that I am truly sorry about what happened; as is Sephiroth. He can be... difficult at times. I've made sure he knows you've got clearance to visit me whenever you like, and nothing like that should happen again."

Zack barely managed to keep his jaw from dropping at the obvious fact that Angeal had accepted his story. And apparently the General hadn't contradicted it.

"Cloud, I'm not sure what happened between you two, but don't let his reactions get to you. He may be an idiot for moving his hand to his sword, but Sephiroth wouldn't hurt you or anyone else in the building. You probably just startled him. Hell, brag about it if you want. Tell people you scared the great General. The idiot deserves some embarrassment if nothing else."

Cloud nodded and, Zack could tell, forced the smile that came to his face. Zack's heart clenched sadly. Cloud's emotional state had improved so much since they'd first met and now it felt like they'd moved two steps forward, one step back. Still, he knew he had to put it out of his mind. Dwelling on it would only keep Cloud in this slump.

So instead, Zack threw himself into the training. He pushed himself harder than he ever had before to keep up with Cloud's advanced skill. That wasn't to say he didn't push himself hard every day; no, in fact he _did_ , but today he put in the extra mile. Cloud noticed as he was forced to parry all that much more as Angeal taught them the basics of defending. He smiled at Zack, a true smile, and put in a little more effort of his own.

Internally, Cloud was dealing with all sorts of alarms bells and whistles. Seeing Sephiroth so close and armed had been a frightening reminder that Cloud _wasn't_ here to become a SOLDIER. Cloud _wasn't_ here to be in a relationship, however wonderful it may be. Cloud was here to save the Planet and everyone on it. He'd become distracted by the process and lost sight of the end goal. He knew he was going to have to work harder to keep his mind on track, but he felt guilty for being so emotionally wrecked when Zack clearly needed him to be strong.

There was no way for Zack to know the unmatched horror he felt when Sephiroth had gone to draw his sword. Cloud hadn't worried for himself; that made no difference to him. Cloud had been focused solely on keeping Zack out of the path of that deadly blade. The altercation had been short and mild in retrospect, but at the time it had felt like he was about to lose the one he loved to Sephiroth all over again.

Aeris... If Cloud didn't worry so much about leading Shinra operatives down to the slums where she lived, he'd have snuck off to visit her already. The piece of her soul inside him still glowed brightly, especially when he was being romantic with Zack. Even now, it worked tirelessly to calm his fears and keep him even keel.

Zack was doing a good job of keeping Cloud calm as well and he really appreciated it. He was no fool. He knew his mental state wasn't strong enough to handle things alone anymore. Maybe it never had been. Zack did his best to offer comfort without prying, and Cloud knew it had to be hard for the younger boy not to ask all the 'why's'. It was testament to his wonderful heart that he let Cloud keep his secrets with no complaint.

Zack was Cloud's prime motivation for burying the worries and moving forward. He couldn't waste time looking back. If he wanted to stop Sephiroth _for good_ , then he needed to survive this little bump in the road.

However, Cloud knew, it wasn't a 'little' bump at all. Being trained by Angeal would force Cloud to be near Sephiroth at times, and if the relentlessly curious man already knew him by name then he'd be looking for Cloud. It wasn't surprising that Sephiroth knew his name. Cloud wouldn't put it past him to have left that ceremony and gone straight to his office to hunt him down. It was a quirk of the Silver General that Cloud remembered well from Zack's memories of the man.

He was going to have to find out some way to contain his anger when confronted with him again, but he wasn't even sure how. But for Zack's sake, he pushed the thoughts away for a moment and allowed himself to return to a modicum of the same happy state he was in yesterday.

* * *

As it happened, Cloud didn't have to worry about running into Sephiroth any time soon. The General was deployed to Wutai about a week after their impromptu meeting and was scheduled to remain there for the rest of Cloud's time as a cadet. Which, was still moving quickly.

The boys spent every day working with Angeal and it wasn't long before he deemed them ready for strict VR training.

They were allowed to use the SOLDIER VR room, which was much more realistic than the one provided for cadets. The downside was that Angeal made it mandatory for them to work with pain-simulation turned on, which wasn't an option for cadets. Cloud didn't mind, but Zack had complained early on. One lecture from Angeal about the dangers of SOLDIER and the _real_ pain they'd be feeling later if they didn't learn now, and Zack quickly shut up about it.

Most of the missions were centered on fighting monsters of various strengths in different terrain or basic materia usage. Some, however, were curiously on military strategy. Cloud found it odd to be trained in that, because it was stuff that only really applied to officers. Most SOLDIERs learned it on the battlefield or just took their orders and did as they were told. Those striving to be officers put in more work, but not often through VR training. Cloud did get the sense that it was how Angeal had learned himself.

Once again, Cloud found it hard to be acceptably advanced without making it obvious that he knew everything Angeal was trying to teach them from firsthand experience. Angeal had watched Cloud's strategy training with a keen eye and made comments about his tactics being familiar.

Cloud had always assumed his knowledge of war strategy came from Hojo's work on him or Zack's memories. Hojo had used machines to fill his head with more information on fighting than most people could ever absorb in a lifetime. His more practical skills had come directly from taking in the memories and experiences of a Lt. General. Two if you considered that Angeal taught Zack almost everything he knew.

It was knowing in advance that Zack was going to be a Lt. General some day, or that he had been in the past—future, that made the boy's peculiar knack for strategy a little more clear. Zack completed almost all of the strategy missions with a solid pass, though not as high a Cloud's score. Angeal looked a little surprised at it, but eventually accepted it as one of Zack's hidden talents.

Zack's bubbly personality often got him mistaken for being an airhead. What they didn't understand was that Zack was much more perceptive beneath that veneer of childishness then they could ever hope to be. The boy had a way of seeing to the heart of a situation with limited prior knowledge and that served him very well later in life. It's why Cloud is certain that if he hadn't been there to slow him down, then Zack would have gotten into Midgar safely and been able to disappear. Unfortunately, for as intelligent as Zack was he was also unfailingly loyal. But this time it wasn't going to matter, because Cloud wasn't going to be deadweight.

* * *

Over the course of the next four months, Cloud watched as Zack grew from a kid to a SOLDIER. Outwardly, you wouldn't be able to see the changes if you weren't looking closely, but Cloud could see them just fine. His lover slowly began to talk less and put more meaning on what he _did_ say. His eyes got the calculating edge his older self had sported so well, but it was still buried under a solid layer of youth. He had gone from raw material to a tempered blade; all that was left was the sharpening.

Cloud was almost regretful as he stood, arms crossed, next to Angeal, watching Zack complete his SOLDIER exam with flying colors. It wouldn't be long before the innocence of his boyfriend was whittled down by life. He hoped that this Zack would end up much like his older counterpart, despite Cloud's presence in his life.

So far he didn't feel like he had caused any sort of damage to Zack's personality. If being in a relationship with a guy had changed Zack, it didn't show. Cloud still led more often than not, but as Zack got more confident he began to war good naturedly for dominance. He didn't seem overly concerned with _winning_ that dominance, but it was a good show of maturing in the relationship.

Behind him and Angeal, all of their old bunkmates were cheering Zack on and calling out instructions that the other boy wouldn't be able to hear. Zack didn't need them anyway. He was cutting a swath through the enemies presented to him in the VR exam. He'd been lucky enough to random draw a jungle setting terrain, so he was familiar with the heavy brush and used it to his advantage.

Cloud's exam wasn't until the next day; a product of the last name Strife. By now, the AIT had cut the numbers of cadets down from 174 to barely 100. Those still remaining would have a good chance of making it into SOLDIER, but, as Cloud knew from experience, not even six months of heavy training could prepare everyone for the exam.

From what he could see, the exam had been easier at this time then what Cloud had been faced with when he took it at fifteen. As far as Cloud could guess, it related to the more intense training they received in the cadet program. The methodology seemed to be to train them harder as cadets and let most everyone get through the exam. A trade off since they lost so many people early on to the rigors of basic training, but in the end more SOLDIERs would probably graduate as a result.

A single SOLDIER 3rd was still strong enough to do massive damage to the Wutai army if they met on an open battlefield. He could expect to take down a good twenty to thirty unenhanced before going down himself. This was mostly due to the fact that Wutai relied solely on melee weapons and materia. If they had guns, then they'd be better equipped to fight off lower level SOLDIERs. A SOLDIER 2nd or 1st could easily take an entire base alone with the right timing.

The war had stalled so long because Wutai soldiers knew their country well and used guerilla tactics to hold the army off. It was frustratingly effective. Well, frustrating for Shinra. Cloud was cheering almost exclusively for Wutai despite knowing they could never hope to win.

That was because Sephiroth was an insurmountable obstacle for the small country. He refrained from simply killing everything in his path only because the company would have to do business with Wutai following the war. That didn't cut down on the casualties very much though. It was obvious the man didn't show much restraint at war. Not that Cloud would have expected the sadist to show any form of human compassion.

Cloud broke from his thoughts to smile brightly as Zack emerged from the VR room. He threw himself into Cloud's open arms and they shared an unusually passionate kiss for being in public. Angeal snorted beside them, and Cloud raised a hand to give his arm a shove. When the kiss broke, Zack went back to his mile-wide grin.

"So you think I passed?"

"Yeah, Pup. Pretty sure you passed," Angeal said with pride lacing his voice. "But save your celebrating till Cloud finishes. I'll take you both out to the plate tomorrow night."

"Certain _I'm_ going to pass?" Cloud asked with a grin of his own.

"I think the world would stop spinning before either of you failed," Angeal laughed and ruffled their hair.

If Zack and Angeal had bonded instantly, then Cloud and Angeal had done so slowly. In another life, they might not have had anything in common to bond over, but their adoration of Zack was the first thing that they shared. A brotherly bond connected the young couple to the older man and it was clear he thought his two students hung the moon as much as they _he_ did.

It was just right: The three men to wield the Buster Sword; connected by fate. Even if Zack and Angeal didn't know about that.

Of course, it presented a new obstacle for Cloud. How to keep Angeal alive as well? He tried not to think like that, but it haunted some of his darker moments. It wasn't often Cloud found someone who he grew to care for, and he was plagued with memories of Zack's pain at losing Angeal the first time.

He generally pushed it out of his mind with the reminder that he still had plenty of time to get rid of Jenova from the moment he got his first mako treatments to the time that Angeal discovered he was a product of twisted science.

* * *

The next day, all three of them arrived back at the testing room. Cloud would be a liar to say he didn't feel a degree of nervousness. He knew, logically, that the chances of his failing were incredibly slim, but his self-doubt managed to inflate those odds in his head. Focusing, the set to calming himself down in preparation for what was coming.

It took nearly three hours of waiting before the list finally reached his name, and by that time Cloud had managed to find that inner peace he'd known as an adult on the battlefield.

The SOLDIER in charge directed him to the door to the VR room and went over the rules while the computer randomized a draw for terrain. The rules were fairly straightforward; things like no materia beyond the Fire they were given. The computer beeped loudly and Cloud fixed his eyes on the screen. It had given him the canyons in the Cosmo area as his terrain. The door opened and he was allowed to walk inside.

He took one more steadying breath as the simulation began to form around him. The premise was simple: survive long enough to outlast the timer or defeat all of the enemies. The timer was lengthy so outlasting wasn't always an option. Killing your enemies gave a much higher chance at a pass anyway. The faster the simulation could be completed the better for one's score.

Cloud found himself standing in the middle of a shallow canyon. There were no enemies around, but that didn't mean much. The enemies could spawn anywhere in the vicinity. He looked around and determined he was on the Southern end of the area. He was probably on the edge of the grassland.

It wasn't a moment later that Cloud heard a familiar sound. Claws on dirt. His hearing might not be what it was when he was enhanced, but a year of listening for that exact sound had given him a predisposition to knowing it instantly.

At the mouth of the canyon, two bagrisks came waddling along; their clawed feet dragging. Cloud frowned at them while taking his sword from his back. They wouldn't be hard to defeat if he could get the jump on them, but their Quake2 could be deadly if they destabilized the canyon.

He would have loved to sneak up on them, but another noise had him turning around quickly. He cursed as a griffin walked into the end of the canyon that was behind him. Any hopes of killing either of the groups of monsters was cut short as the large monster took one look at him and let out an ear piercing shriek.

With a growl, he charged directly at it. It raised its claws in defense and swiped at him. His speed allowed him to dodge, though it took everything to remind himself dodging was actually _necessary_. The desire to return to his style of fighting he'd had as a highly enhanced adult was strong, but he'd just get himself failed like that. If you died in the simulation, then you were an instant fail.

He managed to clip the large creature on one of its clawed limbs, but cut off mostly feathers. Its huge wings were flapping angrily behind it and Cloud could hear the bagrisks making their way towards where he was fighting.

The distraction caused him to dodge another claw a moment too late and he hissed as it cut into his shoulder. The griffin made to take off into the air but Cloud lunged forward before it could do so. Letting it make it into the air would force him to use materia and he'd have no time for that while trying to dispatch the bagrisks. His sword cut right through the griffin's wing and took the appendage off. It wailed and thrashed around violently as Cloud dove to the side and rolled away.

On his feet again, he took the beast by surprise as it was still caught in the moment of pain from losing the wing. He put his sword right through its neck from under the beak; cutting through its windpipe. A few death throes later, it slumped over in time for Cloud to withdraw his sword and swing around to block an attack by the first bagrisk.

He had to twist his body away to avoid a petrify the second monster threw his way and Cloud pushed his sword jarringly to dislodge the first one.

There wasn't enough space to fight these anymore as he was pressed up against the canyon wall. The griffin had put him in a terrible position.

He quickly threw his sword on his back, turned around, and began to climb the canyon wall. His experience with climbing allowed him to do this quickly and he soon pulled himself over the rim and onto the grass above. So he _was_ bordering grassland.

This, regrettably, came with its own set of problems as Cloud heard a loud grunt just quick enough to throw his body out of the way of a charging grand horn, a gargantuan and deadly monster, that had been waiting up above. One hit from this thing and Cloud would be a goner. It stopped short of falling into the canyon and turned again to face Cloud. Below the bagrisks were trying to pursue and having trouble climbing up after him.

Cloud smirked as the plan formed in his brain.

The grand horn grunted again and charged, which Cloud easily dodged and ran around it. Standing where it had been when Cloud first climbed up, Cloud coaxed it to charge again. When it had he ran back to standing right above the struggling bagrisks. Predictably, the grand horn charged again and stopped short as Cloud got out of the way.

Wasting no time, Cloud pulled out his sword and thrust it into the grand horn's back. Using all of his strength, and his sword as a lever, he pushed the snarling monster into the canyon below. Right on top of the bagrisks, who responded in panic with two Quake2s.

He ran straight for the heart of the grassland as the canyon and the ground around it collapsed in on itself; burying the three monsters.

Abruptly, the simulation faded away making Cloud look around in confusion. Shouldn't there be more to fight? Zack had been faced with at least twenty monsters, although those had been much less lethal enemies. Walking out of the room, Zack and Angeal both congratulated him on a job well done. Cloud was happy, but he almost felt like he'd barely done anything at all. Still, they seemed content to believe he had passed based on the outcome, so he relaxed. Hopefully collapsing the canyon wouldn't result in a failure.

* * *

They watched as the rest of the cadets finished their exams. Cloud could see the waiting was tearing Zack apart as he was eager to hear if they had both passed. Another two hours later they got their answer.

"Zackary Fair," the SOLDIER announced as he read down the list of passing cadets. The other cadets around them and Zack himself erupted into loud cheers. Cloud pulled him close and kissed him on the temple as Angeal ruffled his hair affectionately.

Moments later, the SOLDIER said, "Cloud Strife," and Cloud felt the air rush out of his lungs both in joy and because Zack enveloped him in a crushing hug.

"We did it. We did it," Zack chanted in his ear happily. They kissed again and Cloud felt the world tilt on its axis from the pure passion Zack was giving off. If they'd been alone, Cloud wasn't sure if he'd have been able to keep his hands to himself. Apparently, Zack felt it as well as he grinned lasciviously when they broke apart.

* * *

That night, Angeal took them out to Sector 8 for dinner. He insisted that they get whatever they wanted and it would be his treat. Afterwards, they passed a tattoo and piercing parlor on their way back to base and Zack begged to go inside. It ended with both him and Cloud getting their ears pierced, like they had both had as adults. Cloud was almost sad to not have any easy way of getting his wolf earring back. He'd been rather fond of it.

Angeal had brought them back to his apartment and broken out a bottle of champagne. Seeing the almost mischievous smile on the older man had been humorous. Cloud was two years off being allowed to drink legally and Zack was three. SOLDIERs were exempt from this, but, even though they passed, they were not officially SOLDIERs until they were inducted tomorrow.

Angeal just said, "What's being a day early?" and poured them both healthy glasses.

By the time they stumbled back to their apartment, they were exhausted and more than a little intoxicated. It was strange to Cloud, who hadn't been really _drunk_ in a very long time. The mako made that almost impossible, so all he'd been able to attain was a strong buzz through enough alcohol to put down a WEAPON.

They fell into bed, naked, and all but attacked one another. The last few weeks of training had been so strenuous that they had almost no time for each other. They were both more than a little needy. Being so tired didn't allow for much to happen that night, but it was enough just to be touching and kissing.

Their relationship still hadn't reached the point of actual sex, but they were getting about as close as you could imagine. Zack had discovered that Cloud liked his relationships to progress about as fast as glaciers move. It caused a little tension sometimes, but he'd accepted it. Still, he knew that at six months of being together, they really had no reasons to be holding back anymore. He had suspicions that Cloud feared he was too young or naive to go further. That's why he knew he'd have to be the one to initiate. He just wasn't sure how yet.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Yaoi. Bunch of Angst. So a lot of the usual. Lots of Swearing in this one as well. Some mild Torture. And here comes the Pseudo-Science (that still isn't fully explored)!
> 
> Another change in birth year. You'll know who by the end of the chapter. Several people will have their ages adjusted like this to compensate with the AU timeline.
> 
> Yes, the newly introduced characters in this chapter are assholes. One has redeeming qualities and the other does not. The former will be expanded on at length both in this story, its sequels, and side stories.
> 
> This chapter begins the link between this story and a Reno-centric side story called Blood Bound. It can be found amongst my stories. It's updates are sporadic and connected to when Reno appears or is mentioned in As Honor Burns.

Crawling out of bed the next morning was hell for both of them. Their heads were pounding from the 'celebration' last night. More than once, Cloud grabbed Zack and simply held him still for a few moments until the more energetic boy's movements stopped making the bed shake.

The regrets of 'why did I do that' and 'what the fuck was I thinking' were settling in as they tried to pull themselves together for their induction ceremony.

Their formal SOLDIER 3rd class uniforms were delivered in a box by their door and they went through the motions of getting ready. The shower was shared, but neither of them were in any mood to start anything. Cloud fixed Zack's hair, which took a lot more maintenance than his own despite the way it looked. They straightened each other's uniforms and surveyed one another for any visible love bites.

Satisfied, and a little behind schedule, they walked briskly down to the main Shinra auditorium. It was in their favor that the inductions took place at the main building rather than the one for cadets. Still, the large room was already packed with the graduating cadets when they arrived.

Zack wanted to sit next to their old bunkmates, but in the chaos they simply took whatever seat they could find. Not long later, the ceremony began.

Zack's lips tightened into a thin line as he saw the General on stage. His eyes flicked to Cloud who was just watching the silver haired man with utter contempt, but he couldn't see any violence in his eyes.

Leaning over he whispered soothingly, "Focus on Angeal." Cloud looked at him, relaxed, and nodded.

This time there was no speech by the President, as SOLDIER inductions were handled entirely by the division alone. On stage were all of the NCOs from the various bunkers, including Sgt. Andrews, for as little time as they had dealt with him. Zack was almost sad that Sgt. Wall, the real hero of the cadet program, was nowhere to be found. The man had worked tirelessly to get them ready for this next step. It was a shame that credit wasn't being given where it was due.

Director Lazard gave a quick welcome address before passing the microphone to Sephiroth.

"Congratulations, you've managed to conquer the cadet program. You've earned the right to be called SOLDIER. However, you've also earned the responsibility of the title as well. It is your duty to uphold the standard of excellence Shinra requires of its elite military force. Those that fail to live up to this will, inevitably, be phased out through various methods and... occurrences. Take note, being SOLDIER will not relieve you of the chain of command. You are still expected to respect that balance at all times. Through continued loyalty and hard work, you will be given chances to advance beyond SOLDIER 3rd class, but not every will take those chances and succeed. Be proud of your accomplishments, but never forget to strive for more. Welcome to SOLDIER; use your hard earned skills well."

Once again, he used an entirely too cold voice to deliver his message. Zack wondered why the General never seemed like he was happy. Surely, no one could be unhappy _all_ the time, right?

The rest of the ceremony consisted of a long speech about honor from Angeal, one Cloud and Zack knew well enough to mouth silently alongside their mentor. Lt. General Rhapsodos was conspicuously absent, but Cloud figured he may just be in Wutai. Sephiroth must have flown back in solely for the SOLDIER inductions.

The last thing they were told before the ceremony was over was that their initial mako injections would occur _today_. Cloud was suddenly hit with a wave of nausea that he fought down valiantly at the thought of the procedure. He knew that it was a non-optional situation. He needed that mako. His chances of making any sort of impact on the fate of the world without the enhancements were almost nil.

* * *

Those thoughts didn't help much though as the new thirds were directed straight to sixty-seventh floor. About half way to their destination, Cloud had a frightening realization. Suddenly, he would have given an arm to simply be staring down Sephiroth again rather than being at risk of dealing with Hojo.

Sure enough, as they made their way into the heart of the science department, Professor Hojo was already there prepping the instruments.

Cloud's sword arm jerked violently, albeit uselessly as well. He was unarmed and there was _nothing_ he could do to change what was about to happen.

> " _Let him go you fucking MONSTER."_

He shook his head to dispel the phantom sound of Zack's voice. In vain, he tried to remind himself that these weren't the labs below the Shinra mansion in Nibelheim. He wasn't alone so Hojo couldn't do as he liked, but that was a pathetic thread of hope. Hojo knew no restraint.

The new SOLDIERs were led to a holding room and given forms to fill out to aid in the process. Zack filled his out quickly and then looked to Cloud only to find him staring blankly at the wall in front of him. His hand was shaking so badly that it was clear he wouldn't be able to write a damn thing. Carefully, Zack tugged the paper out of Cloud's hand and started filling it out for him.

"Help me, Cloud. I'll do this part, but I need you to tell me what to put down. It'll be over soon. I promise. Just stick with me," Zack whispered gently. The words were just flowing out of his mouth and he wasn't even sure where they were coming from. It was like he instinctively knew what to do.

> " _Stick with me, Cloud. Just focus on me, Spike. I won't let him get to you again today, I promise."_

Cloud's eyes clenched shut as Zack's memories of the labs assaulted him. Zack had always worked so hard to keep him alive and whole. And now, Cloud was proving himself to be weak again. With a few shaky breaths, he began rattling off the information Zack needed to fill out the form. His blood type, mako sensitivity, and other medical related questions.

The injections took place in an alphabetical manner. For most of these fresh 3rds, this would be the only mako they'd be exposed to for the next six months until their first booster. Those with mako sensitivities would need to undergo a several weeks long desensitization program; the length depended on how sensitive they were.

After Zack was called, Cloud was left alone. His lover had given him more than a few desperate kisses to try to calm him down before the nurses had led him away.

The crowd of inductees narrowed significantly before Cloud was called.

The nurses led the now utterly neutral blond back to where the injections would take place. Hojo was already looking at his information with clearly interested eyes.

"Type O-, you say? Rare indeed. You'll take time. Move him to the main lab," the Professor's nasally voice said from behind his clipboard.

Cloud didn't react externally as they took him back to the laboratory, but inside he was battling panic of the worst variety. Why did he need to be back here? Having failed the SOLDIER exam as a kid, he was now flying blind, because he'd never gone through mako injections like this before. What would Hojo do with him?

Moments later, the Professor came in carrying the clipboard and Cloud's thoughts froze in terror.

"I'll handle this case personally. Go tend to the rest of the patients," Hojo told the nurses nastily. Apparently accustomed to this treatment, they obeyed and left. Cloud was now alone with one of his worst nightmares.

"Your file indicates some extreme sensitivity. I'm surprised you were allowed to enroll, but I can't say I'm disappointed. You'll be an excellent test of how tolerant subjects as sensitive as yourself can become. Do note you've agreed to releasing Shinra of liability for any harm that comes to you."

With that, the man set to strapping Cloud down on the chair he'd been placed in.

"These restraints are for your own safety. You'd be surprised at what kind of damage new SOLDIERs can do to themselves as they receive their injections. Sensitivity only makes it worse."

Cloud's emotionless face belied his inner turmoil. No matter what happened, he wouldn't give this man the satisfaction of seeing him squirm.

"I'll be starting you off with a diluted dosage. Just saline and mako. After your... limits, for lack of a better word, become apparent, then I'll adjust."

A pinch was all that told Cloud that the IV had been inserted as he was most certainly _not_ looking at his arms right now. Seconds later his veins erupted in pain.

"Nng," Cloud grunted before stifling his vocalizations of pain by gritting his teeth. Still, he couldn't control himself as his head thrashed back against the chair and his eyes rolled back in their sockets. He couldn't even _recall_ a more painful event in his entire life. Not even when Hojo had wanted to see if his eyes could heal through repeated blinding. In fact, Cloud would trade having mako dripped directly onto his eyes at that time for the injection he was receiving now.

"Interesting. You're even more sensitive than your file indicated. It's not good to lie to doctors, boy," Hojo purred gleefully. Cloud was certain he must be _loving_ this.

Like fire, the mako moved all throughout his body and threatened to consume him. He could feel the haze of it encroaching on his eyesight; much like it had when he'd been addicted.

When the IV was empty, Cloud was dazed and weak. He only vaguely noticed the pinch on his other arm as Hojo most likely drew blood.

His mind was still reeling as Hojo made frighteningly interested noises from somewhere to Cloud's right.

"Fascinating. So there _is_ a correlation between the blood type and mako absorption rates. Just as I assumed with Specimen R1. A shame the type is so rare... Where did you say you were from, boy?" Cloud didn't answer, but it didn't matter as Hojo rechecked his file. "Nibelheim, eh? Perhaps there are others there with your blood type. This could be the _key...,_ "Hojo said while trailing off as he fixed another IV. Cloud felt the world start to spin as the next bag was added.

"N—no," Cloud rasped.

"Be quiet. If you survive this, you'll thank me. Your enhancement will be far superior to your peers. And if you don't... well you _were_ warned."

Cloud screamed involuntarily as what felt like pure mako poured into his body. His fingers were like claws; digging into the arm rests of the chair. He couldn't even _think_. All he knew was that he had to fucking survive this. He _had_ to survive.

It wasn't easy though as he felt his heart begin to race at a pace far too fast to be health. His eyes dilated to the point of near blindness but every other sense became hyper focused. He could smell the mako and hear the _Professor's_ heartbeat; not to mention his own thundering one. Cloud had to fight to breathe as his throat constricted.

"Hmm at a half concentration, your eyes are already changing. The pain appears to be significant, but that's of no consequence. Let's see your ratio now," Hojo spoke delightedly; he was loud in Cloud's ear due to his sudden sharpening of senses.

Another pinch, this one terrifyingly distant in pain.

"Excellent! Without even being exposed to pure mako, you've attained SOLDIER 2nd levels of blood-mako ratio. You absorb at an incredible rate, just like Sephiroth," he exclaimed, mostly to himself. Cloud was too busy trying to _see_ something to listen to the insane man any longer. "I wonder...," Hojo said lowly.

Several loud footsteps and a lot of rustling was enough to tell Cloud that Hojo had moved away. Whatever he was looking for hadn't been hard to find though, as he came back almost immediately.

Again, his arm was pinched and he felt himself be injected with something. It didn't burn like mako though. Two heartbeats later, Cloud knew exactly what had been put into his body as his brain lit up in agony. Flashes of familiar pain racked his being as the _live_ Jenova cells permeated his blood.

"We'll see how you handle S-cells."

If Cloud had been able to make a sound, he would have screamed again.

SOLDIERs were all injected with Jenova cells, but theirs were mostly dead. Only Hojo's pet projects were ever exposed directly to living J-cells and now Cloud was, _once again_ , being given S-cells. What had he been thinking when coming to Shinra? Of course something like this would happen!

"Uh... Who's the kid, doc?"

Cloud could have cried from joy at the familiar voice that startled Hojo, or so his heartbeat indicated.

"What are _you_ doing here?" Hojo snarled at Reno, who Cloud would have done anything to see right that moment.

"I'm here to pick up Shrina, the younger's, prescription. Ya know, the one you say is so damn important he take?"

"Of course," Hojo said through obviously gritted teeth. "One moment."

Cloud listened as he left the room and the tension flooded out of his body. Reno whistled lowly as he approached. Cloud desperately wanted to reach out to him. It wasn't like Reno would be caring, but something about him being there was a comfort.

"Looks like the good doctor has done one _hell_ of a number on you, kid."

"Guh," was all Cloud could say as he opened his eyes and looked in the direction Reno's voice had come from.

The other man gave a contemplative noise and Cloud suddenly felt the restraints on his arms being loosened.

"Ya look a lot like someone I know. A fucking _lot_. Who the hell are you?" Cloud groaned but otherwise didn't try to answer. "Cloud... Strife, huh?" Hojo must have left the clipboard there. Cloud heard Reno walk away for an instant before returning. He felt another pinch on his arm and he jerked away. "Hold fuckin' still, kid. Just gathering evidence."

"What are you _doing_?" Hojo squawked as he reentered the room.

"Superseding ya. Whatever you thought you could do today, without Presidential permission, won't be happenin', catch my drift?"

"He's a fresh SOLDIER candidate. I'm giving him his initial mako injections!" Hojo asserted in an offended voice.

"Then why ain't he out there, with his buddies?"

"He's got sensitivities."

"Looks like ya pumped him full of a hell of a lotta mako for a kid with sensitivities. Come on, kid," Reno said as he hoisted Cloud more or less into his arms.

"I'll go to the President!"

"Go for it, slick. I've done my good deed for the day."

Cloud could feel himself be moved towards where Hojo was standing as Reno walked over there and he tried to move away. "Calm the fuck down. Just need ta get somethin'." A second later, he heard Hojo's growl and the rattle of pills in a bottle before Reno began dragging him away.

When the door to the labs slammed shut behind them, Cloud finally allowed himself to relax. And by relax, he meant that he flopped lifelessly in Reno's arms. The last thing he heard was Reno telling him not to vomit if he was about to die before he blacked out.

* * *

Cloud didn't believe in the slightest he was ever going to wake up again, which is why it was such a shock that he _did_. His limbs thrashed around in self-defense as he felt someone move next to him. It was uncoordinated and sloppy as the mako in his body left him weak.

"Fuckin' hell, kid. Just tryin' ta see if you were alright."

Cloud's eyes snapped open and then closed again as the light assaulted his senses. With a loud groan, he managed to pull his hand up to shield his eyes as he opened them slowly again. Reno was crouched at the end of the bed; an unlit cigarette hanging out of his downturned mouth.

"Wh—where am I?" Cloud said in a strained voice.

"My place. Didn' know where else ta take ya."

"I thought you lived with— Never mind. Wrong guy," Cloud ground out at the last second. Reno didn't seem to buy it as his eyebrow lifted.

"Interestin' that you should say that. I _don't_ live here. I just own it. So, seems like you know me, but I don't know you. That just ain't gonna do, kid."

Leave it to Cloud to already fuck it up with someone who could turn out to either be a powerful ally or a deadly enemy. Only hours after he'd saved him from the labs.

"I'm not a kid," he mumbled quietly. "You can't be mo—much older than me."

"You really like ta change words mid-go. An' I'm seventeen, if you're not the same age then yer a kid ta me," Reno said casually before sizing him up. "So... who the fuck are ya?"

"Cloud Strife. Ca—SOLDIER 3rd class."

"More than that."

"Sixteen. From Nibelheim."

"I'm thinkin' yer a liar."

"Try proving it," Cloud growled eventually; new mako flaring in his system.

"Nice eyes there, General, sir," Reno said with a cocky smirk. Cloud felt his eyes widen and the realization set in that he _could_ feel the slitted pupils he'd once known so well. His hands fisted in his hair mostly out of horror but Reno made a loud, admonishing noise at him.

"None of that! You new mako'ed up kids don't know your own strength. You'll tear yer hair out. And it's such a pretty color too," he purred.

"Shut _up_ , Reno," Cloud barked before falling back to the bed as he tried to contain his warring fury and fear. How could things go so badly in so little time?

Suddenly, Reno lunged across the bed and grabbed him by his collar. Cloud met his eyes, putting his face back into a controlled mask as he stared up at the half-crazed man. "How the fuck do ya know my name?" Reno asked in a deceptively calm voice that was ruined by his tight hold on Cloud.

"Word of mouth," Cloud replied with a rude smirk.

"Ya don't know who the fuck yer messin' with, kid. I could turn your ass back over to Hojo in the blink of an eye. And then who the hell would save ya, then?"

"Just kill me instead."

Reno just blinked slowly before bursting out into laughter. Despite the situation, Cloud laughed too. This is how it had always been between them. Violent and insane. Rufus had tempered the both of them, but when they were alone together there was no filter for their inner monsters.

"I don't know who the fuck ya are. But I'll figure it out eventually. In the mean time, I like you. Got a feelin', Rufus would like ya too. If you already know so damn much about me, you'd probably fit right in with my department."

"I already told Balto; I'm not interested in the Turks."

"Is he the one who told ya about me?"

"If you'd believe that, then sure."

Reno grinned around his cigarette; a smile full of teeth and danger. "Well, Cloud Strife, ya've got my attention for sure. You've got Hojo's too, so if I was you, I'd want to stay on _my_ good side."

In too deep already, and feeling more than a little rebellious after the day he'd had, Cloud responded with a snort, "You don't _have_ a good side."

"I do so. And 'is name is Rufus Shinra."

"Well give Rufus my best, but I've got to get home," Cloud said in a sarcastically pleasant voice.

"I'll walk ya there," Reno purred viciously.

* * *

True to his word, Reno did just that. He took Cloud straight to his apartment, but refused to leave until Cloud entered. Checking his pockets, Cloud glared at Reno specifically as he couldn't find his ID. Reno just shrugged casually with a mischievous grin. It was annoying. If he was going to take the damn thing, couldn't he at least just let Cloud in first?

Left with no other options, Cloud knocked. Seconds later, he was barreled down by a very distraught Zack.

"Where the hell have you been, Cloud?! I've been losing my damn mind. I thought... Gaia! Cloud you don't want to know what I thought," Zack sobbed into Cloud's jacket. Behind him, Angeal moved into the doorway and frowned heavily as he met Cloud's eyes. He looked at Reno who shrugged again and lit a cigarette.

At the sound of Reno's match lighting, Zack looked up, formerly purple eyes now a light variant of the SOLDIER blue-green, and stared at him. Confusion then hot jealousy passed over his face as he looked at Reno's disheveled state. Cloud could have rolled his eyes if he wasn't so busy inhaling Zack's scent. Reno _always_ looked like that.

"Who are you?" Zack asked Reno accusingly.

"The guy who saved yer friend here from the big bad doctor."

"What did Hojo want with him?" Angeal demanded.

"Beats me, man."

Angeal walked right up to Reno and grabbed his bicep before pulling him closer. "Stay away from Cloud," he growled lowly in his ear, but Cloud still heard. "I'll deal with Hojo."

"Nah, Sephiroth'll deal with him, right? Cause that _always_ works out so well."

Giving a mock salute to Cloud, Reno left with the parting words, "See ya soon, blondie."

"Why?" Zack asked furiously. "Why will he see you soon?"

"Nothing happened, Zack. I don't know why he wants to see me again, but he did save me from Hojo. If... If he hadn't showed up, I don't think I'd have made it," Cloud said slowly at first before choking on the last words. Sorrow and terror bloomed on Zack's face again as he clutched at Cloud.

Angeal coaxed them back into the apartment and, now in blissful privacy, Cloud finally felt himself breakdown completely. Face stuck in the same blankness he'd adopted in the far-flung future, he firmly attached himself to Zack. The younger boy was his lifeline all over again. Little did people know, even when Cloud wasn't able to expressing his pain, it was definitely there.

"What did he do to you Cloud? I know you might not want to talk—"

"Mako. Lots of mako. I... I've got high levels of sensitivity, so I was supposed to be given graduated desensitization... but he just started pumping it into my system."

Angeal frowned sympathetically and cupped Cloud's chin to force him to look at Angeal. "Your eyes are as bright as a SOLDIER 2nd; almost a SOLDIER 1st."

Cloud nodded distantly as he moved to bury his nose in Zack's hair. He almost missed Reno. At least he could lose himself in inhumanity with that twisted son of a bitch. But he knew that wasn't a good thing. It may have been easier, but what was the point of killing Sephiroth for being a monster if Cloud became one himself?

"You're very lucky that the Turk found you. A... lot of people who disappear into Hojo's office don't return."

"How could they let him _do_ that?" Zack cried.

"He's got a lot of power in the company. The President lets him get away with a lot of things. But don't worry. I'll make sure he can't touch you again. We'll get another doctor to handle any more mako exposure you get, Cloud."

Cloud nodded though he felt the urge to shudder at the thought of any more mako in the near future. He knew he'd gotten his wish though. He was enhanced again, and that would help. But he still needed to be stronger to beat Sephiroth. He still needed _more_.

The strength wouldn't set in until at least a few days had passed. Mako generally leaves people feeling weaker than usual after injections before the body stabilizes and finds homeostasis.

* * *

Cloud and Zack remained cuddling as Angeal moved off to the bedroom for a few minutes. When he returned he had a slightly guilty look on his face. Cloud wondered about it until, about ten minutes later, Cloud felt like his entire body wanted to move down the hall of its own accord and suddenly he knew _exactly_ what Angeal had done. He glared at Angeal as he moved to answer the door when the inevitable knock happened.

Zack looked up and almost cried out when he saw Angeal let Sephiroth into their apartment. How could he bring _him_ here _now_? Couldn't he see how badly Cloud was affected by this already? Why did he have to make things worse?

Anxiously, Zack looked at Cloud's face and gasped audibly at the sight of his slitted eyes. When had that happened? They weren't like that earlier, despite being so bright. Cloud was staring angrily at Sephiroth and Angeal. His arms were wound tight around Zack's waist to the point of almost causing pain.

Zack let out a tiny cry of hurt as Cloud squeezed him reflexively as Sephiroth finally looked at them. Cloud released him and moved backwards immediately. Zack was the one to move between the two this time, even though it struck him as weird that Cloud was retreating. He'd been so fearless the last time.

It didn't matter anyway as Sephiroth could meet Cloud's eyes by looking right over Zack's shoulder. He stepped forward tentatively and Zack found himself lunging forward to push the large man away.

"Stay away from him!" Zack screamed, but he didn't even know _why_. It was like what had happened in the labs. Instinctively he knew he couldn't let them get close.

Sephiroth broke his stare away from Cloud and looked at Zack contemplatively before responding, "I don't intend to hurt him. I was simply trying to determine what Hojo had done to him. Especially what is the cause of the change to his pupils."

"Just a lot of mako," Angeal said as he was shutting and locking the door.

" _Those_ are not a product of mako, Angeal."

Confused, Angeal turned around and looked at Cloud before exclaiming, "What happened? Your eyes weren't like that a few minutes ago!"

" _Him_ ," was all that Cloud growled.

"Sephiroth?" Angeal asked in a concerned voice as he looked between them.

"Get out," Cloud hissed.

"Don't you think we could discuss this as reasonable individuals?" Sephiroth asked in an annoyed tone. Clearly his amusement at Cloud's unusual dislike of him was wearing thin.

"You're a murderer. You'll take me back to him."

"I can assure you, I hold as much contempt for Hojo as you do, if not more. Angeal called me down here to _help_ you."

"There's nothing you can do for me. You'll just strengthen her."

"Her?" Sephiroth, Angeal, and Zack all asked simultaneously.

Gaia, Cloud was really winning awards for discretion today. He snarled in anger and backed up further. The cells inside him were crying out for reunion and he was fighting to control them as he had in the past—future. It was never this hard before, but he had more mako then too. Mako was a natural barrier for Jenova given its connection with the Planet.

"I'll be... fine. I just need time," Cloud said desperately while looking at Zack. Something in his gaze must have reached his lover as suddenly the other boy sprang into action.

"Out! Both of you; out!" Zack yelled while pushing them towards the door. Angeal tried to reason with him but Zack would hear none of it. "He doesn't need this right now. Just let us figure it out alone. Please leave," he all but begged. With a sigh, Angeal pulled Sephiroth out of the apartment in compliance and Zack said goodbye before shutting the door firmly.

* * *

As soon as it was locked, he ran straight to Cloud and pulled him close. His boyfriend collapsed almost instantly and Zack broke down into tears again. All he could do was pray that tomorrow would bring some peace and normalcy. With care, he help Cloud into the bedroom and stripped him out of his formal uniform.

His own body was still reeling from the mako injections he'd gotten as well, so even Zack wasn't at 100%.

He snuggled in next to Cloud and pet his lover's hair as he tried to soothe him into sleep. Zack was well prepared for a sleepless night as there was no chance Cloud would get through without a nightmare tonight. As expected, not long after the exhaustion took over for Cloud, he began to struggle in his sleep. Zack kept caressing him tenderly before speaking some soft words to him.

"I'm here, Cloud. I'm never gonna leave you," he whispered brokenly but lovingly. It worked beautifully as Cloud's screwed up face relaxed.

In Cloud's dreams, he could see an older Zack looking down at him through green haze.

> " _I love you, Cloud. I'll always be_ _ **right**_ _here."_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed, yup. The rest of the usual stuff plus more Swearing. Lots of Death in this one, but no one named.
> 
> This chapter, like the one posted to Blood Bound, deals with a Before Crisis event.
> 
> Nipping this in the bud before it gets brought up: Cloud/Reno or Reno/Cloud will not be happening in this story from this point forward. Doesn't necessarily mean it never happened.
> 
> Vague explanation of something about to be 'revealed' in this chapter: The dates match up to make it plausible. It's a plot point I've seen others use, but it's honestly something I also consider interesting to explore. There were hints in the last chapter and it was almost directly stated in Blood Bound, chapter 1. That being said, it's not going to lead this storyline through 'crack' scenarios. It's for tension and minor plot, and nothing much else.

Cloud didn't move much in the early dawn of the next morning. It was the day for new SOLDIER 3rds to be given access to their apartments, so he and Zack incredibly little to do. His eyes were fixed on the plain white ceiling above their heads as Zack slept peacefully with his head on Cloud's chest.

The younger boy had finally given into the exhaustion in the wee hours of the night. It was only moments after he fell asleep that Cloud had woken to the feeling of him creeping closer. Feeling guilty for how pathetic he'd been the day before, he had pulled Zack closer and let the boy sleep.

In retrospect, Cloud was plagued with both embarrassment and disgust at his weakness. So Hojo had gotten a little experimentation off on him before he was rescued; big deal. It wasn't like he'd just come crawling out of the labs five years later. Zack had managed to keep his cool even after doing that.

Now he'd said things he'd never be able to take back. Reno knew some of what he knew about the redhead and Sephiroth now knew there was a 'her' involved with the changes to his eyes. If Sephiroth looked hard enough, he'd even start reaching some of the dangerous information that would lead him straight to Nibelheim. And Cloud would have no one to blame but himself.

It was more than clear that Cloud was going to need to move quicker. He _needed_ to beat Sephiroth to the punch.

But Cloud would be a liar if he didn't admit that he was suddenly at a loss for what to do. He'd attained SOLDIER. He now had mako. Fuck, he even had Jenova cells. But what _now?_ It felt like the wrong decision to leave Shinra at this point. Sephiroth was here and so was Hojo. He wouldn't get any closer to his targets than this.

One thing did occur to him though. He was going to need to speak to Rufus Shinra.

Sephiroth was almost stunned as the boy, Fair according to Angeal, all but shoved him out of the apartment. Some of his SOLDIERs couldn't even stare him in the eye, let alone attempt to _make_ him do something. First Strife and his strange dislike of him and now this one too. Either his intimidation skills were suddenly becoming rusty or these two were special. Sephiroth was actually quite impressed.

Sephiroth had to admit, the younger boy did remind him thoroughly of Angeal. The older man had often protected him in a similar manner in their youth. This resemblance was enough for Sephiroth to excuse his almost passive behavior. Not to mention, Strife looked mere moments from violence and Sephiroth would never get to the bottom of the boy's mysterious nature if he was forced to defend himself. Something told him that Strife would likely take any reaction in his own defense as an attack.

There was pity there as well. Sephiroth had never met another person who shared his peculiar eyes. Now it was quite obvious the trait hadn't been a genetic quirk from his unknown parents, but a symptom of Hojo's experimentation on him as a child. He had to wonder what the man had done to the blond boy. From the sound of Angeal's story, he'd only been missing a handful of hours. Surely that wasn't enough time to allow for some of the Professor's more... involved procedures.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Angeal asked as Sephiroth walked briskly towards the elevator.

"To see a certain doctor. I believe he owes me an explanation for his unauthorized testing on one of my SOLDIERs."

"You're... You're going to let Zack get away with that?"

"I'm sure you can deliver an adequate lecture on the nature of the chain of command. I don't think my presence there will help either of them at this time."

Angeal frowned as he kept pace with Sephiroth. "No. You're right, it wouldn't. I didn't expect that when I called you down."

"You knew Strife held a certain measure of distaste for me."

"You didn't tell me he _despised_ you!" Angeal exclaimed. "Hell, Sephiroth! If I'd have known that, I would have reconsidered before calling."

"To be honest, I am appreciative that you called me anyway. Knowing his eyes are changing will be important in uncovering whatever it is that Hojo has done to him," he said with an almost tired sigh before continuing, "Besides, if your glowing reports of these boys turn out to be true, it's more than likely that I will be dealing with both of them on a regular basis eventually. I'd like to put whatever it is Strife has against me in the past."

"He called you a murderer. You told me you had never met before that incident a few months ago," Angeal said as he crossed his arms over his chest in his usual manner.

"To my knowledge, we hadn't. He doesn't look like he has Wutai blood, but it can't be ruled out as a possibility."

"He's from Nibelheim, but he really doesn't have the accent I'd expect from someplace like that. Maybe he's lying?"

"You're not often quick to assume the worst of someone, Angeal," Sephiroth said with a smirk. Angeal just frowned.

"I'm not assuming the worst of him. He's a good kid. But there's something more to him, I won't deny. I, for one, am more interested in protecting him than anything else. If Hojo is taking an interest in him this early, then Cloud must have something extraordinary about him that's fueling that. I know he's one hell of a swordsman even as young as he is. I've barely taught him anything in all these months. Most of my work has been with Zack. Every time I showed him something new, he'd pick it up instantly. And I don't mean in a few attempts, I mean _instantly_." Angeal looked almost guilty as he finished what he was saying, as though he was betraying Cloud even now. Sephiroth refused to be hurt by the idea.

"Perhaps he has formal training from elsewhere."

"When? The kid is only sixteen, Sephiroth. If I had any guesses at all, I'd say he's a former lab victim, but then he didn't exhibit any of Hojo's trademarks before today. He doesn't have a tattoo, for one."

Sephiroth unconsciously ran his thumb over his own tattoo hidden beneath his gloves.

The elevator dinged and let them out into the science department laboratories. A few nurses and technicians looked up and their jaws dropped as the two SOLDIERs entered. Sephiroth couldn't blame them; it was a rare sight to see him in the labs even when he had a scheduled appointment. To be here of his own volition was unheard of.

They found Hojo pouring over notes in his office. He looked up and appeared as shocked as the others for a split second before he broke into a gleeful smile.

"Ah! Sephiroth. Most excellent for you to show up! I was going to call you in tomorrow for some routine—"

"Somehow... I doubt anything following your work on Cloud Strife today would be considered 'routine', Professor. Now I want answers. What did you do to him? And why?" Sephiroth demanded, coldly. He didn't want to be here any longer than necessary, so he was hoping either the scientist would brag outright or give Sephiroth a reason to kill him.

"You've already heard about the boy? Tell me, were there any notable side effects? Were you able to sense him?"

Sephiroth drew back slightly at the question. Sense Strife? He thought back carefully and realized he _had_ felt something while approaching the apartment. It hadn't been very noticeable, but he could almost compare it to a slight tugging sensation.

"...No," he said in the most deadpan voice he could manage. Hojo almost looked crestfallen.

"A shame. Perhaps I didn't inject him with enough," the man muttered to himself before looking back down at the papers on his desk.

"Inject him with _what_?" Angeal barked.

"You'll watch your tone, boy. I don't answer to Hollander's _pets_ ," Hojo said with a haughty sniff. Sephiroth felt his temper snap as he grabbed Hojo by his white coat and pulled him halfway across his own desk.

"You _will_ answer," he hissed. Unfortunately Hojo was accustomed to Sephiroth's outbursts and looked unconcerned. Nevertheless, he complied.

"Your cells, of course. I wanted to see if his rare blood type would result in faster absorption of them compared to previous test subjects; given his increased mako absorption rate."

" _My_ cells?" Sephiroth asked, momentarily astonished. What would injecting a new SOLDIER 3rd with his cells benefit? What would injecting his cells in _anyone_ benefit?

"Truly, Sephiroth, you didn't believe your strength was _natural_ , did you? Everything you are, you owe to my work. Being able to bottle the success I had with you would be a great boon," Hojo said in a self-important tone. "To the company, of course," he added quickly.

Snarling, he asked, "And what made Strife a good test subject for this little project of yours?"

"His blood type is exceedingly rare. Your mother had the same type. As does another one of my more successful specimens. You, most likely, would have had the same if you'd been born with any natural blood at all. You were at 100% mako by the time you entered the world. It was quite fascinating really to see the effects as you grew," Hojo explained with twisted pride lacing his voice.

Sephiroth was quickly reminded of why he avoided this man at all costs. Just being in his presence filled him with loathing and self-doubt. It was all he could do to hold onto the tiny thread of hope that the madman wasn't actually his biological father on the basis that they looked nothing alike.

Letting go finally, Sephiroth stepped back and stared Hojo down.

"You won't be touching any more of my SOLDIERs. If you come anywhere near Strife, or anyone else for that matter, I will personally make sure I spend the rest of the evening cleaning your blood from Masamune."

Hojo frowned and looked at Sephiroth in contemplation. "Is the boy important to you?"

"No. But I do feel significant pity for him. Being alone with you for even a moment is enough to wound someone's psyche for life," he growled before turning and leaving. Angeal followed closely.

Sephiroth felt the need to help Strife, despite their former interactions. He realized he may be the only one on the Planet who could understand what the boy may be going through.

* * *

Cloud looked down at Zack as he began to stir. Even though he hadn't had much sleep, the routine of military life was forcing the boy awake. His newly blue eyes blinked slowly, hazy, before clearing and settling on Cloud. He watched as Zack's expression went from surprised to happy to sorrowful in barely a second. Cloud smiled reassuringly and ran a hand through Zack's hair. His lover leaned instantly into the touch.

"Are you... alright?" Zack asked softly, almost in a whisper.

"Yeah," Cloud told him in a matching tone before pulling him closer to press a chaste kiss to his lips. Zack just closed his eyes and soaked up the love desperately.

"I was so worried," Zack choked out. Inside, he was trying to will himself not to cry again. Cloud didn't need to be worrying about him right now and Zack didn't want to seem like a child, but the emotions locked inside his heart were begging for release. It was beginning to feel like he cried more for Cloud than he ever had in his whole life. But he wouldn't trade it for anything when he considered the good that came along with his love.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry, Zack. I didn't meant to upset you. I'm fine now, I promise," Cloud chanted sweetly as he kept pressing kisses all over Zack's face. When he was done, Zack opened his eyes and stared into Cloud's.

"Your eyes are so bright," Zack breathed eventually. "I... kind of like them."

"Well, that's probably a good thing, since I don't think they're going anywhere soon," Cloud said with a smirk. Zack finally grinned; convinced that Cloud was back to normal.

Inevitably, they had to pull themselves out of bed. Cloud insisted they perform a small work out to compensate for two days of no training. Zack didn't argue, but he did tease Cloud about his insane work ethic. Eager to restore their balance, Cloud was careful to smile at every opportunity.

After their showers, they finally got to live the moment that cadets dreamed of infinitely: they got to pull on their SOLDIER uniforms. Zack was grinning from ear to ear as he slipped on the leather belt and suspenders. Cloud couldn't deny that it felt _really_ good to be in familiar clothes for once. In the mirror, he was both relieved to see nothing but himself and awed to see how quickly his body had moved back towards where he'd been as an adult. He was still sixteen, so he didn't have the height yet, but in time Cloud knew he'd look just as he always had. His arms had the telltale sign of muscle beneath the skin and his face was familiar again with the mako blue eyes staring back at him.

Someone knocked at the door while they were still engaging in preening and Zack _bolted_ to answer it. Cloud shook his head with a small smirk. The other boy was afraid it was Sephiroth, but Cloud could already feel that it wasn't.

"Hope I'm not intruding..." Cloud heard Angeal say from the living room as he dried his hands and moved to join the other two.

"Nah, we're just getting in our quality time with the mirror," Zack said with a happy bounce.

"Well you certainly look like a SOLDIER now," Angeal said fondly before looking up and meeting Cloud's eyes. A wave of pity passed over his face before he smiled gently. Cloud gave a small wave and a slanted smile.

"How are you?" he asked Cloud carefully.

"Better," he replied with a shrug. "I'll live."

"Good. Good. Well... How about we take you two out for a spin then? Up for a mission?"

Zack let out an excited cry before saying, "Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" Cloud laughed and pulled Zack into a hug from behind. Zack nuzzled back against him and Cloud could actually _feel_ him vibrating from excitement.

"Sounds good to me," Cloud purred more to Zack than anything else.

* * *

The mission entailed clearing out some monsters on the road to Kalm; mostly some Kalm fangs that were becoming pests. It definitely wasn't the kind of thing Angeal would be assigned to regularly, but he didn't mind going along with them. In fact, Cloud had a suspicion that nothing would have kept the older man away from witnessing their first day as SOLDIERs.

Angeal requisitioned a jeep and drove them out there before letting them loose on the monsters. Cloud and Zack worked together effortlessly to dodge the large wolf like creatures and take them out one by one. They laughed and smiled and Cloud could almost forget the events of the previous day.

They were just eating lunch, about five miles out from Kalm on a small outcropping in the plains, when a loud explosion came from Kalm's direction. Angeal leapt up from the ground and stared at Kalm with a horrified expression as Cloud and Zack scrambled to stand. In seconds, the whole town was consumed in fire.

"What the hell is going on?" Angeal shouted as he ran back to the jeep. "Come on!"

Cloud and Zack followed and jumped into the back of the vehicle. The second they were secured, Angeal sped off towards Kalm.

"What's happening, Angeal?" Zack asked in a voice mixed with confusion and shock.

"I don't have any idea, Zack. But we've got to get there and look for survivors immediately. Here," Angeal said while tossing his PHS back to Zack. "Call for backup. Tell them an explosion has come from Kalm."

Zack fumbled with the phone and relayed the information to someone on the other end before holding the device up to Angeal's ear. Cloud watched as they raced past a black car with dark tinted windows speeding in the opposite direction. He figured someone must be escaping rather quickly to Midgar.

"I want a platoon of infantrymen and five SOLDIERs out there ASAP. Send medical help as well. I'm taking two thirds in to look for survivors now."

Zack pulled the phone back and hung up as Angeal slammed the brakes and parked the jeep. He didn't spare them a single glance as he jumped out; right into the heart of the pandemonium. Cloud and Zack followed, though Zack paused to give Cloud's hand a quick squeeze before they rushed off after Angeal. Cloud looked at Zack and was surprised to see his face already set in a calculating expression.

"Where do you think we'll find the most survivors?" Zack yelled over the chaos around them.

"Shops!" Cloud called back as he ran right in that direction. He'd been smart enough to bring his bottle of water from the jeep and he poured it over the front of his collar before pulling it over his mouth. He passed it to Zack and he repeated the motion without ever stopping.

Cloud led them right up to the shops and kicked the door in. There were several people who rushed out as soon as he entered and others who stayed to try to help the weak. Cloud threw two children over his shoulder and ran out with the mother in tow. Zack grabbed an older woman and followed.

It took them five trips to clear the area and Cloud could see Angeal going through every residence he could access, sometimes leaving with a person or two in his arms. Cloud thought he spotted him carrying a man in a familiar suit, but didn't have time to investigate. There were also a few SOLDIERs who had been stationed in Kalm already helping evacuate, but they didn't appear to be trying nearly as hard as Cloud and the others were.

The platoon arrived soon, but not soon enough to save most of the town as they set to extinguishing the huge blaze. The SOLDIERs who came with the backup went forward in collecting as many survivors as possible.

* * *

They kept at it for what felt like hours as the fire continued. Eventually, they were just finding dead bodies. The smoke inhalation got a lot of people. Angeal finally pulled everyone out of the town as the buildings began to crumble.

Zack was coughing and covered in soot as Cloud led him back to the jeep. Both of them were dizzy from the heat and their lungs felt like they were charred, but the mako would take care of things. It was why SOLDIERs were sent in rather than the infantrymen. Angeal looked even worse than they did as he came back to the jeep and drank an entire bottle of water in one go. His hair was singed at the ends and he was literally black as night all over. His face was stuck in a mask of utter dismay at the amount of people they were unable to save. Still, he looked at them and nodded firmly.

"You did well," he said with a smoke roughened voice. "You both saved a lot of lives. I'm proud." Cloud and Zack just nodded weakly as he hung onto one another for support. Cloud could hear something more lurking in Angeal's voice. Something wasn't right.

Zack waited till Angeal walked away to ask, "What was that, Cloud? The explosion... That wasn't a normal fire."

"I," Cloud breathed deeply before continuing, "don't know."

He flopped back against the side of the jeep as Zack hunched over his knees. His head had just fallen back to relax a bit as he spotted a flash of red standing amongst the various military vehicles.

Reno was just standing there; suited up and a lit cigarette hanging out of his frowning mouth. His eyes were fixed on the burning town and Cloud could see, even from this distance, the dangerous edge in them. Cloud scowled at the man, even though he wouldn't see it. So this was Turk business. No wonder Cloud had seen a man in a suit. He wondered momentarily if the man had been caught in his own explosion.

Reno must have felt the stare because his eyes slid over to Cloud. He just raised an eyebrow and beckoned him closer with a crooked finger. Cloud started to move before thinking and Zack looked up, startled.

"Wuh—?"

"I'll be right back," Cloud muttered lowly before stalking off to talk to Reno. Zack stared at his back for a moment before seeing Reno and glaring at the redhead openly. Zack _really_ didn't like this man. Or the way he looked at Cloud.

"Fancy meetin' you here, Cloud," Reno said around his cigarette as he turned back to look at the fire.

"Yeah. Fancy that. What is this?"

"What's what?"

Cloud growled and gestured at the blaze. "What _is_ this?" he repeated viciously.

"An error in a scheduled military bomb test."

"Is that what you're going to call it?"

"Does it matter?" Reno asked with a pointed stare.

"There were hundreds of innocents killed in that town, Reno. Mothers and kids. I've been pulling bodies out for the last half an hour."

"What a fuckin' shame, man. My sympathies. I can recommend some real nice therapists for shit like that," Reno said in mock concern. Cloud grabbed him by his collar and pulled him closer. Reno just smiled.

"You kill innocent people and—"

"And what? Ya gonna kill me, Cloud? I'm already unravelin' ya, kid. Did ya know yer, _technically_ , a Shinra?" Cloud pulled back violently and let go.

Rufus had always hinted... But Cloud never assumed it could possibly be true. When did his mother...

"You're a liar," he concluded, angrily. Reno's grin became completely sadistic as he smelled blood in the water.

"Oh yeah, kid. Ran the blood tests and _everything_. Rufus has it in black an' white, if yer interested in seein' the proof. Wonder, what'ch'er ma is like? Suppose it ain't hard to find sluts who will bend over for a buck, but —"

He didn't get to say anything else as Cloud grabbed him again and punched him so hard that he felt bones break in the redhead's jaw.

"Keep talking, and I'll kill you," Cloud hissed in his ear. Reno looked up at him sideways at him through his red hair. His mako blue eyes were like sharpened knives as he turned back to Cloud and smiled. Cloud's enhanced hearing could hear the bones mending instantly. He frowned as he realized Reno was already at the level he'd been at as an adult. Hojo must have gotten to him young.

"Calm the fuck _down_ , kid. I've got a real soft spot fer Shinras. Well... The younger ones. Don'tcha wanna meet yer brother?"

Cloud had to grit his teeth and nod despite the fury welling up inside him. He needed to discuss things with Rufus. _Fuck,_ he needed to discuss _this_.

"If it makes ya feel any better, ol' Shinra was two-timing his own wife with yer ma. So it wasn't just her honor being stamped on by the fat bastard."

"Somehow... That doesn't make anything better," Cloud snarled.

"Well, come to my place and I'll blow ya. Would that make things better?" Reno asked with a lecherous grin.

Cloud smirked viciously and responded, "I'd rather be castrated."

"That could be arranged, if that's what yer into, blondie."

Cloud almost wondered what was wrong with him that even when Reno was at his worst, Cloud still managed to appreciate his twisted humor. He wished he could tell Reno all about the things he'd done to him while they were riddled with Geostigma. Reno had been one of the only people Cloud had actually been able to let loose on without fear of accidentally killing them. It hadn't been based on love. Even _considering_ loving Reno left Cloud filled with disgust. How Rufus managed it, Cloud could only speculate on. But the mutual lust, Reno _was_ attractive if nothing else, had been enough to keep them interested. Cloud was always well aware he was a substitute for Rufus, and Reno always knew he was little more than a tool to pass time. When they were cured, and Rufus was no longer wheelchair bound, their liaisons went by the wayside amicably.

Just thinking back to it made Cloud feel unfaithful to Zack, who made it clear quite regularly he was ready for things to progress to intimacy in their relationship.

"Tell Rufus... We'll talk. Soon. Other than that, stay the fuck away from me," Cloud said while turning away from the warped redhead.

"Aw, but you'll miss me!"

"Not likely," he called over his shoulder as he continued to walk away.

* * *

Zack was noticeably jealous when Cloud returned and it made him feel that much worse.

"I don't like him. What were you fighting about?" Zack asked with an ominous frown. Cloud was almost worried by how serious Zack looked about this.

"Nothing. He just has a way of insulting people when he opens his mouth. You don't need to worry, Zack. I'm not looking for anyone else but you," he assured his lover.

"Doesn't make him any better of a guy," Zack muttered and took another sip of his water.

Cloud turned away and watched as the wounded were loaded into medical vehicles. It was odd that they were bringing those who got out quickly along as well, but Cloud figured it was to keep them under observation for smoke inhalation complications.

His mind immediately turned to what Reno had told him. How could that possibly be true? If President Shinra really was his... biological father, then why had his mother been so supportive of Cloud joining Shinra? He couldn't even _fathom_ that it could have occurred in anything other than a rape scenario. His mother was far too traditional to let it have been anything else. And when would that have happened? Cloud was older now, so had that changed things? Given the levels of Jenova experimentation in Nibelheim, and it being the first reactor town, Cloud had to admit the chances of President Shinra visiting the area around his conception and birth were high, for either of his birth years. It didn't make him feel any better though at the thought of possibly being the son of that megalomaniac. He almost wondered if this is what Sephiroth felt like when Hojo claimed to be _his_ father.

* * *

When Angeal returned, he got back into the jeep and drove them back to Midgar. The ride was quiet and somber given the amount of death the day had held. Angeal eventually broke out into the speech he'd been holding in for quite awhile.

"I know that today may have been a gruesome introduction to the life of SOLDIERs, but it doesn't change what is everyday life for us. We're here to protect the innocent and keep causalities to a minimum. You both showed your best today, but I don't want either of you to ever believe that you should stop trying to be better. Even if it means you save just _one_ more life by going that extra mile, then you've lived up to the honor of SOLDIER in trying."

Both of them nodded solemnly. Having pulled out so many survivors, they couldn't help but notice how many more had died. It left Zack feeling like he'd failed all those people even though he knew he'd given it his all.

Cloud was looking the back of the jeep with suspicion coloring his face when Zack looked at him. He was about to inquire about it when Cloud spoke up first.

"Angeal?"

"Hmm?" Angeal asked while tilting his head back slightly.

"Where are they taking those survivors?"

"To... Midgar I'd assume?" Angeal asked in confusion.

"Then why are the emergency vehicles heading east?"

Angeal looked over his shoulder for a minute before looking back at the road. "I'm not sure," he said gravely; once again, he was hiding something.

Cloud didn't ask anymore, and just watched as the vehicles carrying the people they saved disappeared from sight. Inside, he knew those people would never be seen again. He just wasn't sure what would happen to them, but he knew if Reno was involved then it couldn't be anything good.

He couldn't recall this ever happening to Kalm before, but it wasn't surprising. After Nibelheim had been burned by Sephiroth, no one had known about it because Shinra staged an elaborate cover up. Zack's memories indicated something similar had occurred in Banora following Genesis and Angeal's defection as well.

But why Kalm? It was a tiny town with no real threat to Shinra. Hell, it was entirely Shinra controlled anyway being as close to Midgar as it was.

Cloud tried to put it out of his mind as the approached home. If it really was Turk business then Cloud would likely never get to the bottom of it and it wouldn't concern him. What he _did_ need to concern himself with was what he was going to say to Rufus Shinra to convince him that mako energy wasn't worth the risks. Rufus wasn't fond of parting with his money. Cloud wondered if he should maybe contact Reeve first and get him working on a mako alternative. The older man had been close to finding one when the swarm had invaded in the future, so maybe if Cloud got him started _now_...

Even more importantly, Cloud had only a little more than two years left before the beginning of 'the end' as it was. Genesis would start degrading sometime in the summer of 0000 and be defected by October. Cloud needed to be a 1st class SOLDIER, or at that level, to ensure he had plenty of options by the time that day came. Which meant, Cloud was going to need to impress some important people and _fast_.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Yaoi. Pseudo-Science.
> 
> This is probably going to get noted as OOC a lot, because this chapter is almost entirely from Sephiroth's point of view. I just feel like sometimes the most illogical occurrence can be the right one. Elephants and mice.
> 
> No Blood Bound chapter for those who are reading it. Reno needs to reappear in A.H.B. before another chapter gets written. That's what I meant by sporadic updates.
> 
> The Kalm scene was short last chapter mostly because of the lack of canon description for the event. I'm working with translated transcripts of BC to help me write those scenes and they are incredibly vague. That said, B.B. got a lot more of the background details of what happened in Kalm because it's a Turk-centric situation. In fact, it's actually several months late by the canon timeline, but I wanted to write it and I couldn't just tack it onto one of the chapters I'd already uploaded. It didn't hurt things much because 1998 is a very boring year for FFVII canon.

Angeal was pacing around his apartment when Sephiroth entered. It was not common to see the older man so wound up, but Sephiroth was getting used to it with these boys in his life lately. Angeal had called him over not long ago after returning from taking the new SOLDIERs out on a simple mission.

"Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" he asked calmly as he took a seat on Angeal's couch.

"There was a fire; no... an explosion in Kalm today," Angeal said distractedly as Sephiroth went rigid.

"An explosion?"

"Yes. Me and the pups were out clearing fangs from the road and we stopped for a lunch break. All of a sudden, a huge explosion came from the town and it went up in flames. We spent the whole day rescuing everyone we could get out."

"I take it you were only partially successful?" Sephiroth asked carefully. The needless loss of life often upset Angeal, especially if he had been trying to prevent it.

"Yeah; there were too many to save. But that's not what's bothering me," he said, frustration his in voice.

"What happened?"

"I pulled the Director of the Turks out of one of the houses." Sephiroth's eyebrow rose at that. It was relatively unknown to those not in the 'inner circle' of Shinra that Kalm was Veld's home. In fact, Sephiroth doubted that Angeal even knew. "There were two women with him. Both badly burned. He told me to get them out first. When I came back for him, he was unconscious, but alive. He suffered very bad burns on his arm. Looked like a backdraft burn to me."

"Did he survive?"

" _That's_ the problem! I don't know! The survivors were loaded up and driven east of Midgar. I've got a feeling, with a Turk there and the SOLDIERs stationed there doing very little to help, that this wasn't an accident."

Sephiroth frowned deeply. Angeal did not take things like this lightly. The last thing Sephiroth wanted was him to get in a moral dispute with Shinra or the Turks due to his inquiries. "It is... suspicious," he agreed finally.

"It's more than suspicious. I want to know where they took those people, Sephiroth."

So it was as Sephiroth feared. "Angeal, you know how the Turks work—"

"I know. But that doesn't excuse them from destroying a whole town and kidnapping the survivors!" Angeal said loudly. Sephiroth did not like where this was going. He knew he needed to calm Angeal, if only for the man's safety.

"I will investigate. Please, don't do anything rash."

"You're being sent back to Wutai—"

"I'll make certain to get answers before I leave. Promise me you will not do anything foolish Angeal," he requested very firmly.

Angeal sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not a child, Sephiroth."

"No, but your honor demands you take stands where logic would dictate that you stand down."

"It's called doing what's right."

"Funny, I'm more partial to the term _suicide_ ," Sephiroth emphasized as he stood and approached his friend. When he reached him, he placed his hand on his shoulder and squeezed very gently. He was no expert in consolation, but he'd often seen people do similar. Angeal's shoulders sagged slightly as he nodded.

Sephiroth wished Genesis was here. He and Angeal had always shared a much tighter bond than Sephiroth had with either of them. Unfortunately, the redhead was carving across Wutai in search of glory.

* * *

He chose to leave after that to fulfill his own half of the promise. Instead of going to speak with the President, Sephiroth went to someone more likely to give a straight answer: his son. Rufus was young and ambitious. That ambition often made him willing to sell his own father out for the right price or if the likelihood of a large fallout was high. Sephiroth found him in his office, like expected, and the young heir was focusing on a video screen that he couldn't see from his place across the room. Rufus' bright blue eyes met his with disturbing amusement evident in them.

"Sephiroth. How good to see you. Did you need something?" the young blond asked pleasantly.

Sephiroth was often slightly unnerved by the sixteen year old boy. His age was simply a number as Sephiroth had never seen him act even slightly like a teenager. He acted as though Sephiroth presented no threat to him and never bothered addressing him by rank. Rufus' father did the same rather often, but it was more from incompetence than anything else. This boy was far too intelligent to share his father's lack of common sense.

"I'm here for information on the incident in Kalm today," he said unsmiling.

Rufus' good cheer was unaffected by Sephiroth's unfriendly attitude. "Ah yes. I do believe the official story will be something akin to 'military error'," he said with a casual shrug that served only to annoy Sephiroth further.

"Where were the survivors taken?" Sephiroth asked while changing tracks. It was obvious he'd get no closer to the heart of the cause from this boy.

"Nibelheim. Professor Hojo _generously_ offered to treat them there. Personally." Rufus explained with a souring of his expression as he spat Hojo's name.

Sephiroth's mind began to connect dots instantly and he reared back in blatant shock. Strife was from Nibelheim. Rufus just narrowed his eyes and smiled again.

"I see... Is Strife a friend of yours?" he asked calmly.

"How did you know about Strife?" Sephiroth demanded insistently. He was not one to believe in chance when it came to Hojo and his work. What could the madman be planning now?

"We've not met exactly, but my Turks do have such an interesting view of him. He's apparently left quite the impression on two of them thus far. I had been told that he was saved from Hojo only yesterday by Reno. I assume you recognize the strange coincidence in Hojo's eagerness to get to Nibelheim and his newest victim's birthplace," Rufus purred with a malicious light in his eyes that struck Sephiroth as familiar. Immediately, Sephiroth knew where he'd seen it before. Strife had many times fixed him with a similar look, only with more outright hatred.

> _"His blood type is exceedingly rare. Your mother had the same type. As does another one of my more successful specimens."_

"What... is your blood type?" he asked slowly.

"What an odd question. Why do you ask?" Rufus said with mock surprise.

"Tell me," Sephiroth snarled out of impatience and slammed his hands down flat on the desk between them. Rufus didn't flinch as Sephiroth had hoped, but smiled again.

"I'm O-. As is my father. It seems to be a fairly common trait in my family despite its rarity."

"You're the one Hojo was speaking of; his other successful project," Sephiroth stated.

Rufus' smile turned dangerous as he smoothly moved one hand to the other and pulled off his glove. A small R was inked on the flesh where Sephiroth had a 1 on his own hand.

"Of course."

"What is your relation to Strife?"

"I'm not sure it's wise to tell you that, Sephiroth. You two don't seem to be on very good terms, or so my surveillance cameras have indicated."

Sephiroth resisted the urge to choke the boy. Killing him would solve nothing.

"I'm trying to help Strife. Hojo has interest in him. And he'll likely be interested in you—"

"What makes you so certain that helping Strife is something I'd concern myself with, relation or not? Hojo's interest in me has never waned. If anything, perhaps Strife will draw his attention and let me get some work done in peace," Rufus said coldly before smiling again. Sephiroth felt like he was on a rollercoaster from this boy's wild responses. "Relax, Sephiroth. With Hojo in Nibelheim, he cannot touch Strife, who is here. The survivors from Kalm... well I'm sure they'll be fine. My Turks are overseeing the transfer now, and one will be remaining there."

"Forgive me for not trusting 'your' Turks as you do," Sephiroth said with a sneer.

"Rest assured. I have business with Strife. Nothing will happen to him until _I_ am ready for it to happen. Hojo won't find what he's looking for in Nibelheim, and he's too inept at being human to read between the lines and find what's so obvious to everyone else with half a brain," Rufus told him as he stood and placed his own palms on the desk. He was barely three quarters of Sephiroth's height, but that didn't seem to dissuade him. "Now is there anything else I can do for you while you have my _full_ attention, Sephiroth?"

He thought for a moment, as he didn't enjoy making visits like this often, so anything he could request while here would save him time.

"I want a full medical exam for Strife. From a neutral party. I want to know exactly what Hojo did to him."

"I'll have our sanest doctor handle it," Rufus agreed easily. "I'm also interested to see how he took to the mako given my own... experiences with it. My own absorption rate was said to be 'incredible' by Hojo. However, I do wonder how _Strife_ will react to this."

"I will make certain he agrees," Sephiroth said in a tone that brooked no argument. Rufus seemed to find this amusing as he smiled widely again.

"Always a pleasure, Sephiroth," the boy purred as the older man stalked out of the room.

Sephiroth left feeling no better off than when he started.

* * *

Frustrated and restless, he went to the SOLDIER floor instead of heading home. It was late so the floor looked entirely abandoned. Sephiroth planned on blowing off steam in the SOLDIER dedicated VR room when he was surprised to find it in use. The light poured through the transparent door, prompting Sephiroth to enter the observation room.

Strife was in the center of the room; bloody and breathing hard. It was virtual blood, so Sephiroth was able to relax for a moment. At least Strife wasn't so foolish as to undertake a mission alone with pain simulation turned on. Sephiroth could see no enemy though, as Strife hunched over.

A flash of silver and suddenly Strife was several feet away from where he had been, leaving _Sephiroth_ in his place. The virtual copy raised its own Masamune and attacked again. Strife dodged, but barely. He parried the follow through strike and leapt back as the copy prepared to strike again. This time, it was more of a stab than a slash and Strife didn't even bother trying to avoid it as Masamune speared right through his chest before withdrawing and repeating the motion again with his shoulder. Sephiroth's eyebrow went up as Strife staggered away before parrying another slash.

A clear pattern formed. Strife _only_ defended against the slashes.

Sephiroth found this both interesting and confusing. Being stabbed by his blade was just as deadly as being cut in half, though it may take more time for one to die to the wound. He was quite effective in piercing major organs when fighting, despite the randomness of the simulation's aim. The simulation had been programmed as realistic as possible, but found it impossible to copy his fighting style perfectly. What struck him as even stranger was that Strife was much more effective in defending against moves that _were_ realistic of his fighting style.

Still, it was a one-sided battle that ended quickly as Strife tired. Sephiroth was more than a little impressed despite the unorthodox pattern. It was possible that Strife simply did not _know_ how to repel a stab from Masamune. He'd certainly lasted much longer than any other SOLDIER 3rd who Sephiroth had seen take this simulation on.

He was almost curious about what level Strife was combating. He could tell easily from the speed at which the copy moved that it couldn't be one of the lower options.

Abruptly, Strife looked at the mirrored glass that was between the observation room and the VR room. Sephiroth's eyebrow rose at the direct stare pinning him. Certainly, Strife couldn't see through the glass? The glare being thrown his way said otherwise.

Strife decided to approach the glass at that moment and stop right in front of it before speaking, "What do you want?"

Sephiroth blinked slowly before responding with, "You can see me?" It wasn't until after he spoke that he realized his stupidity for assuming Strife would be able to _hear_ him too. As he exited the room and moved to join Strife, who seemed to be almost docile compared to the last times they'd met, he pondered on if the war was taking more out of him than he'd initially assumed.

* * *

When he entered the room, Strife was waiting. He fixed Sephiroth with the same glare as before and raised an eyebrow of his own.

"That was certainly impressive. Perhaps you've expended some of your inexplicable anger with me?" he asked more hopefully than he intended.

"I couldn't kill this simulation enough times in a hundred years to expend the anger I feel for you."

Sephiroth frowned at the statement and the cold tone it was delivered in. Not only did this boy not fear him, he held no respect for him either. Not even as a superior officer. The strange draw he felt to the boy was the only thing that kept his own temper in check. Letting this brat know he was getting to him didn't appeal to Sephiroth either.

"How unfortunate. I do believe, however, if we just _spoke_ about it, that maybe we could resolve some of this."

Strife shrugged and said, "Then speak."

"Why do you dislike me?"

"That's too kind of a word."

"Just answer the question," Sephiroth insisted.

"You're a killer. Nothing will ever change that," Strife said distastefully.

"Who have I killed that upset you? You _do_ recognize that it is my _job_ , correct?" Strife didn't answer. Sephiroth sighed in frustration. "I want to help you. No one deserves to be experimented on by Hojo. I would not wish it on my worst enemy."

"You... can't help me," Strife grumbled but Sephiroth felt as though it was some progress.

"Why not?" he pressed on. Again, Strife didn't answer. However, after a moment he did speak.

"Look," Strife said sighing in turn. "I don't know why you seem so hell bent on getting to know why I don't like you. Sometimes you will meet people who _don't_ worship the ground you walk on. Why I feel like I do doesn't matter... It won't matter," he trailed off softly before forging on, "But you're... the General. And I want to be a SOLDIER," he said like he was choking on the words.

"So I'll get over it. I'm never going to like you. You can get over that idea right now. But we can start over. For... sanity's sake," Strife growled slightly.

"You do realize that even in the same breath that you call me the General, you indicate that you'll never respect my authority."

"I'll follow your orders, and that's all that matters," Strife said seriously.

Sephiroth was not satisfied with this compromise, but he did have to admit that it was much preferable to the open hostility he'd experienced thus far. So he nodded and approached the boy. Strife stiffened but did not move for his sword. Sephiroth extended a hand.

"An agreement from one SOLDIER to another, then."

Strife shook his hand, _very firmly_ , and said, "Yeah."

When they broke apart, Sephiroth noted that it was much quieter around the boy than usual. Then he realized why; Fair wasn't here. The other boy tended to make noise even when not speaking and Sephiroth had never seen Strife without the other.

"Where is—"

"Asleep. He was tired from our mission today," Strife said as he turned away from Sephiroth. Noticeably, he did not show his back as he moved away. Sephiroth almost found it amusing. So he _did_ unnerve Strife at least in some regard.

"I see. Angeal told me about your heroics in Kalm today."

Strangely, Strife frowned and his eyes went distant. "Angeal's... a good man," he said quietly before shaking his head and swinging his sword a bit.

"He's my oldest friend. Alongside Genesis, of course. You've yet to meet him, though it's inevitable. I must warn you: you'll want to develop a taste for LOVELESS."

Cloud smirked slightly before responding, "I've heard. Angeal says he knows the play by heart because of how much the Lt. General quotes it." Sephiroth noted that Strife _could_ address his superior officers correctly. He just chose not to with Sephiroth.

"Your marks on your exam were the highest of your class; I'm assume you're aware."

"Yeah."

"Do you aim to become a First?" Sephiroth asked curious as to how Strife would respond. The boy nodded with more enthusiasm than he'd ever seen from him before. His face was half-hopeful as he looked at Sephiroth, but his eyes were calculating.

"Yes. Becoming a First class is my goal. It's what I've wanted since I was a kid."

Sephiroth could hear the unspoken point in the unassuming sentence. This little meeting hadn't been by chance. Strife intended to use him to rise through the ranks. Sephiroth was not overly surprised as it was a common reason people showed interest in getting to know him, but he _was_ surprised to see it coming from Strife. Angeal could provide the same boost, but without compromising whatever vendetta Strife held against him.

"I'm sure you'll reach that goal quickly," he said casually. "Angeal has mentioned, and by that I mean bragged incessantly, that you and Fair are quite versed in war tactics. We're in constant need of good SOLDIERs in Wutai."

Strife grimaced for a second so short that Sephiroth almost wasn't sure he'd seen it. "I'm not surprised."

"You've got friends in Wutai? Family?" Sephiroth asked against better judgment. Strife frowned but not as angrily as Sephiroth feared.

"No family. A friend, but she'll be fine. She's resourceful like that."

Sephiroth resisted the urge to raise an eyebrow at the statement and eventually settled on saying, "Yes, I'm sure she will be." He paused before blurting out foolishly, "Why did you not avoid the pierces by Masamune?" Curiosity truly was his biggest flaw.

"Because there's no point to it," Strife said impassive. Sephiroth's astonishment was overwhelming but he managed not to let it show.

"...How do you figure?"

"With enough mako, I'd be able to recover from a stab. There's no coming back from getting cut in half. My speed doesn't allow for much more than parrying at the moment. When I'm faster, I can avoid more damage. This was just checking my progress."

"And how did you feel like you did?" he asked, inquisitive.

Strife leveled him with a stare and calmly said, "Not good enough."

Sephiroth finally realized what was so off-putting about Strife. He acted much like Sephiroth did himself with others. His words were either cold or angry and his face was similarly controlled. Strife just didn't have the practice that Sephiroth did, so those odd moments of emotion were allowed to slip out. The boy was often able to flip situations around so that Sephiroth was the one feeling out of place or lesser. It was very similar to what Rufus Shinra inspired in him, except that Rufus never acted like he'd be pleased to see Sephiroth's head on a pike.

It left Sephiroth longing for the ultimate submissiveness of his troops in Wutai, who watched him with such awe and reverence.

He half-wondered if _he_ was the strange one for finding Strife's behavior so abnormal. Most people would not expect to be loved by everyone they met, so why should Sephiroth? This might be the closest he'd ever come to being treated like any other person. His whole life he'd been either feared and avoided or put on a pedestal and now a sixteen year old SOLDIER 3rd was making him feel off kilter at every meeting.

He didn't bother responding to what Strife said but instead moved to a new topic; one he feared would be even more volatile.

"I've requested a full medical exam in the wake of Hojo's unauthorized procedures on you."

Strife's mouth screwed up in annoyance at the news but he didn't look surprised. "Who did you request it from?"

"Rufus Shinra."

Strife snorted and said, "Of course." At Sephiroth's raised eyebrow, he elaborated, "I've got business with Rufus."

"Interesting. He used the exact words concerning you. Might I ask what type of business?"

"Are you going to order me to tell you?"

"I was hoping you'd tell me of your own volition. If I intended to pull rank to influence you, I would have done so already," Sephiroth said honestly. He did omit that he rarely if ever had to use his rank to get results in the past and that Strife sorely tempted him at times.

Strife seemed to consider this before answering, "He's interested in why Hojo finds us so similar."

"You share the same blood type," Sephiroth stated matter-of-factly. Strife just frowned and didn't continue. "Could you tell me what symptoms have been occurring since Hojo experimented on you?"

"I could hear you enter this floor from the elevator and over the sound of the simulation"

"Is that how you knew I was in the observation room?"

"No." Sephiroth growled at Strife's evasion before he could stop himself and saw the boy smirk. "I could feel you," Strife finally said.

Sephiroth was interested again. That was awfully reminicent of what Hojo had asked about. "Feel me? Hojo mentioned something like that. You can sense me?"

"Yeah."

"I can barely feel it. What does it feel like for you?"

"A lot stronger than what you'll feel. You're not the one being pulled. You're the one doing the pulling," Strife said just before a look of regret crossed his face.

"What does that mean?" Once again, Strife fell silent. "You're very hard to get a straight answer from," he concluded in annoyance. Strife went back to smirking at the sound of his frustration. The boy must be a sadist of some variety.

He was beginning to wonder why he cared so much about what happened to Strife. He didn't like Sephiroth. He wasn't even a particularly good conversationalist. But he had this mildly hypnotic quality about him that just drew Sephiroth in. Like a moth to a flame he felt compelled to seek him out. Which left Sephiroth wondering how Strife could claim he wasn't being 'pulled'. He'd only ever intended to understand the mysterious boy and now he felt as though he _needed_ to be near Strife.

A thought suddenly occurred to him.

"I'm affected by these cells too, aren't I?"

Strife looked at him in alarm before settling into a familiar furious mask. "What do you mean? What cells? Where did you hear that?"

"Hojo mentioned them. He referred to them as being 'my' cells. It's why I'm drawn to you, isn't it?" Sephiroth mused out loud.

"You can trust anything that _monster_ says," Strife snarled as he backed away. Sephiroth felt distress flood him at the thought of moving backwards on their progress.

"I know. He raised me." A flicker of pity cut through the anger on Strife's face.

"Just ignore what he said. It doesn't matter."

"Perhaps...," Sephiroth trailed off. He looked back at the boy who was still staying further away from him than before and decided it was time he leave before he undid everything he'd worked towards in this conversation. "I'll see you some other time, Strife. I'll be returning to Wutai tomorrow, so do take care of Angeal while I'm away," he said with what he hoped was a casual smirk.

Strife nodded and did the unexpected: he saluted. "Goodnight... sir."

Sephiroth smiled and left the boy in the VR room. He could only hope that tonight would make their interactions a bit more seamless.

* * *

Cloud was a bundle of nerves as he watched Sephiroth depart. That little conversation had taken a lot out of him to remain in control for so long, but it wasn't in vain. He'd succeeded in convincing Sephiroth that he could 'put aside' his hatred for his job and wound up answering a question that had been plaguing him since realizing his S-cells were calling to the other man. Unfortunately, he didn't like the answer.

The S-cells he'd been injected with were increasing in number as quickly as they had the last time he'd been sixteen, which mean they were growing stronger. Like a virus flooding his veins, they infiltrated every part of his body and weren't likely to leave. Sephiroth was being affected by them too; the same way he had in the past—future.

The puppet-master knows his instruments when he sees them, and that's exactly what Cloud was at that time. He'd been a tool for Jenova and Sephiroth to control. The S-cells in his body had acted as the strings. With effort, he'd finally managed to cut those strings, but not before he'd been forced to do terrible things. It's why Sephiroth had been drawn to him despite knowing that Cloud wasn't who he thought he was.

> _"Are you going to participate in the Reunion?"_
> 
> _"Where are you!? Sephiroth!"_
> 
> _"So cold. I am always by your side."_
> 
> _Laughing. "Black Materia... Call Meteor."_

Cloud's hand fisted in his hair as tightly as his new strength would allow at the onslaught of memories. Apparently, the pieces of Jenova inside him still knew how to fuck with his head. Cloud had always been weak to his own memories.

He snarled at no one and walked to turn the simulation on again. He needed to burn energy. _Now_.

* * *

It was hours later when he stumbled back into his apartment and into bed beside Zack. His lover opened his eyes and stared at him.

"Where've you been?" Zack mumbled sleepily.

"Fighting demons I'm never going to beat," Cloud said with anger at himself still in his voice.

Zack's fingers threaded through his own and his hand was warmed instantly. Breaking slightly, Cloud pulled Zack closer and drew comfort from him.

"Can I help?" Zack asked softly.

"You already are," he breathed and pressed his face into Zack's hair.

They fell silent for a long time before Zack finally asked, "What do you dream about, Cloud?"

"Losing."

"You won't. I believe in you, y'know. We'll beat whatever it is that's troubling you, Cloud. Together. And when we have, then we'll be happy. Trust me, okay?"

Cloud smiled down at Zack and felt his heart warming at the sleepy, but loving blue eyes staring back up at him.

"I do, Zack. And I know we will. It's just... frightening. I can't lose you, Zack." _Again_.

" 'M not going anywhere," Zack said with a nuzzle to Cloud's chest. He was back asleep in moments.

* * *

The next day, Cloud was sent official orders by Sephiroth through his PHS to visit the SOLDIER infirmary on the fiftieth floor. There was a doctor waiting when he arrived. The man looked kindly and Cloud couldn't sense any ulterior motives in his demeanor, so he relaxed slightly. It really helped that the man was notably _not_ wearing a lab coat.

"You must be Mr. Strife. Nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Tannen."

"A pleasure," Cloud said neutrally.

"I've been asked to review your mako levels given your sensitivities, so I'm going to need a quick blood draw. Sit right here please," he said patting the examination table and moving off to get what he needed.

Cloud mentally removed himself from the situation by focusing on other pressing matters as the doctor went about his exam. Everything went well until they reached the blood draw. Cloud had been staring at a wall as it went on, but was forced to look at the sound of the doctor's concerned hum.

"That is... a lot of mako," Dr. Tannen said in a concerned tone while tapping the freshly drawn sample. Cloud could clearly see that there was at more mako there than blood, which was unheard of for a SOLDIER 3rd with only one injection.

Mako tended to spread throughout the body and feed on its own growth. As red blood cells died, their replacements were fused with the mako and each new cell would contain more as time went on. The first few days of being a SOLDIER tended to be rough as the cells needed to begin dying to start the process of assimilation. The typical life of a health red blood cell was about 100 to 120 days so it took significant time for everything to be cycled through. A small sample, over a few months, could permeate the blood to boost the recipient to about 10% mako to blood ratio, but after about six months anther injection would be needed as all the mako would be fused with cells.

The body becomes accustomed to these stronger blood cells and, when mako isn't kept up in the system, when those augmented cells die or are lost from a wound the body begins to crash. It was why mako was known to be addictive as the body becomes dependent on its presence in the bloodstream.

As an adult, Cloud had never needed to worry about having mako boosters because he was entirely mako already. He was an extreme and rare case of total mako-blood replacement. As his body produced blood cells, the mako levels inside him, in theory, ate everything inside the cell and took its place. Because mako doesn't naturally bleed out, Cloud never lost any of his mako levels from wounds like a normal SOLDIER would.

It made him, and Sephiroth, incredibly hard to kill as every function of their bodies were augmented by the regenerative properties of the mako. Wounds sealed instantly, sometimes around the weapon that caused them. Bones mended as strong as steel. They didn't need to eat or sleep because the mako never burnt out and it fueled everything in their bodies. And the normal viruses that plagued a normal human weren't able to cope with the harsh environment of their unnatural systems.

A First class SOLDIER could expect to reach levels of about 85% mako before the body reached homeostasis. It's why SOLDIERs still bled red. A person with sensitivities was a little different. Their bodies absorbed the mako at an increased pace that more or less made the mako levels increase, double, or sometimes triple. The body reacts violently to the introduction of mako and begins creating white blood cells at a high pace, which then fuse with that mako and fill the body. Red blood cells die quicker in the acidic content of the mako and their replacements are more mako saturated than normal. It's dangerous as the body is not given time to adjust to the new 'standard' before it's overwhelmed.

The doctor hummed again as he plugged the sample into his handheld device and read the small display.

"I don't wish to offend you by asking, but you've not been taking street mako, have you?"

"No, sir," Cloud said firmly.

"Your levels are at 73%, which is unthinkably high for a SOLDIER 3rd. It's even too high for a SOLDIER 2nd. I see you've got O- blood. There's been some speculation on the reaction of blood type on mako absorption, but it's never been proven because most people...," the doctor trailed off before coughing and continuing in a grave voice, "Well most people die before they reach these levels. It's why we conduct mako tests on new cadets and inform them about their chances of making it past a certain level of SOLDIER. As you can imagine, not everyone can be a First biologically. Everyone who's ever been promoted to that rank has had a common blood type with no known sensitivities. To be honest, I'm both surprised you're sitting in front of me right now, alive, and that you were allowed to enroll."

"I was pushy."

"You realize you put yourself at risk of untimely death?" Dr. Tannen asked with disapproval.

"I didn't have anything to lose," Cloud said with a shrug. The doctor frowned in concern.

"Well, I do have to say that this is unprecedented. I've never seen a case like yours. How do you feel?"

"Fine right now. The injection was painful, but I got through it."

"Were you given pure mako?"

"Diluted. He said something about half concentration."

"Who was the one preceding over your injection?"

"Professor Hojo."

The doctor looked alarmed as he glanced back to the screen. "I see." He scrolled down on the device and an expression of confusion passed over his face.

"There are foreign cells in this sample. Were you sick prior to getting your injection?"

Cloud schooled his features as he responded, "I had a cold."

"That probably explains why they aren't recognizable. Mako tends to destroy just about everything that the body doesn't accept. Now, we're going to need to monitor your levels closely to make sure you don't end up crashing suddenly given how much mako is in your system. I'm going to prescribe you a case of low concentration shots in case you end up crashing on a mission. I ask that you _call me_ before you assume you're having a crash and use these. It's a worst-case-scenario measure rather than a tool to artificially increase your mako content. You won't find any benefits worth the risk. The mako you have now is more than you'll ever need as a 3rd class."

Cloud nodded and waited as the doctor came back with a small carry case of five syringes. Each one was filled with faintly glowing saline and mako.

"I certainly hope you won't need these, Mr. Strife. I fear what sort of complications will arise later for you due to these mako levels, but you know what you signed up for. Take care, son," the man said softly as he squeezed Cloud's shoulder. It was clear that he didn't seem optimistic at Cloud's prognosis.

Cloud slipped the case into his pocket and left the infirmary. He knew he'd be fine, because he'd been _immersed_ in mako for months before. His levels would continue to climb, but he'd force himself to be fine. He couldn't afford mako poisoning this time around.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetated, it's probably going to stay that way methinks, for update speed if nothing else. Heavy Yaoi, you all knew it was coming. Angst. Point A to Point B chapter, I'm sorry it's pretty lame but it needs to happen.
> 
> About half of this chapter is plot, the other half is romance.
> 
> As a little factoid, you've read a story the about same length as Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone at this point in As Honor Burns. In two more updates, it will be longer than Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Before the end of it, it will likely pass the lengths of Prisoner of Azkaban, Goblet of Fire, and Deathly Hallows. Making it second only to Order of the Phoenix. Then the next book starts!
> 
> Important: If you've been confused with Zack's reactions up till this point, this chapter may give you some hints as to why that is. Read him through the lens of both the Zack in the future(past) and the one in the current.
> 
> Important 2: This is where As Honor Burns catches up to where it is in FFN (plus the removed mature content). If you've decided to start reading on October 2nd, 2013 and blaze through the story in one day, you can expect your update on October 3rd. This story is ALWAYS updated on an every 2-day pattern.

The next few weeks were, surprisingly, boring for both of the new SOLDIERs. It quickly became apparent that missions in Midgar were lackluster in terms of difficulty and prestige for a 3rd class. Some days they did as little as complete mission simulations to help program new VR scenarios.

Angeal took pity on them when he had time and continued their training on a more advanced level or got them out of the city for a bigger challenge, but he was faced with his own work that kept him away.

Zack passed time by making friends with almost everyone he came in contact with. Those that made SOLDIER from their old barracks were the first to be pulled into Zack's gravitational force. Cloud found it endearing for the most part, but still had to restrain his anger when he caught Zack being friendly with Kunsel. His boyfriend had noticed his enmity towards the other SOLDIER and often inquired about it. Cloud made a habit of giving vague answers and attempted to treat the boy better, but it wasn't long before he fell back into habit and Zack started asking again. Something about Kunsel interested Zack to the point that he wasn't willing to accept Cloud's unexplained hatred of him like he was for Sephiroth.

The Silver General had been shipped off back to Wutai following Cloud's medical examination. From what Angeal said, Genesis would be rotated back soon and a new batch of SOLDIERs would be sent to aid Sephiroth. The older man was understandably excited at the prospect of seeing his best friend again and Zack took the opportunity to tease him about it at every turn.

For Cloud, the stagnation of progress was beginning to aggravate him beyond compare. Reno had vanished into thin air, which mean Cloud had no way of getting to Rufus. Sephiroth was gone and no missions of worth were being offered to them in Midgar, so advancing as a SOLDIER was nigh impossible.

He trained harder and longer every day; pushing himself to new heights as often as possible, but he still wasn't getting anywhere close to beating the _simulated_ Sephiroth, let alone the real deal.

One blessing though was the complete lack of follow up by Hojo. The man hadn't sought Cloud out once since the last time they'd seen each other. It was a bit peculiar, but Cloud figured Angeal had pulled strings to ensure he couldn't touch Cloud again.

Today was shaping up to be another boring day of no work. He and Zack were lounging on one of the couches of the SOLDIER floor, praying a mission would become available. They would have taken anything at that point; including patrol duty in one of the Sectors.

Zack's head was on Cloud's lap and the blond was playing with his hair softly as Zack rambled on about some relationship drama one of his new friends was going through. It was mostly just to fill the silence as Zack knew that Cloud really wasn't listening. Though Cloud was always able to repeat what Zack had said if quizzed; Zack quizzed him often in hopes of catching him offguard one of these days.

Out of the blue, one of the very few SOLDIER 1sts came walking out of the elevator. Both of the boys sat up and looked to the man hopefully, but quickly realized they didn't even _recognize_ him.

A few of the SOLDIER 2nds let out surprised cries and swarmed the 1st.

"Daren! You're back!"

"Is everyone else back too?"

"What was it like?"

The 1st laughed happily and hugged everyone of the people crowding around him before crowing, "Yep! I'm back alright. And not a scratch on me. How's that betting pool on if I'd make it back alive?" Everyone laughed and the whole floor filled with noise as more curious SOLDIERs came to see what the ruckus was about.

Cloud and Zack were thoroughly confused at the sight when Kunsel slid in beside them and whispered, "That's one of the 1sts from Wutai. Looks like the SOLDIERs are rotating back today. I'll bet the Lt. General is here as well."

Zack looked at Kunsel in surprise with both of his eyebrows hidden behind his bangs from how high they rose. "From _Wutai_? I thought it'd be another few weeks!"

"Looks like they need fresh blood out there. I've heard rumors that the Wutai army has stalled the General in one of the choke points and is defending the only other route through to the capital way too strong for the old guard to break alone. This group is been in Wutai longer than any of the others during the whole war. It's about time that they got to come home."

"So... how do they pick who's going now?" Zack asked curiously.

"Random draw for the most part. Sometimes a specific SOLDIER gets requested."

"You think Angeal will be going?" he wondered aloud mostly to himself.

Cloud shook his head as he watched the excited SOLDIERs greet the 1st. "Not likely. Angeal is the one holding the home front together."

"But if Lt. General Rhapsodos is back, then won't he be able to handle things?"

"Lt. General Hewley has only been deployed to Wutai a handful of times in his whole career. He really doesn't like being part of the war," Kunsel said conspiratorially.

Cloud snorted as he said, "I don't blame him."

* * *

The next few hours were filled with emotional SOLDIERs of various rank reuniting with their friends and lapping up the luxury of being at headquarters again. Cloud could sympathize as he had felt very similar when getting to sleep in a bed for the first time after a year of living in a tent on the plains of Midgar.

Zack was just starting to get into the swing of things when an announcement hit all of their PHSs. Quickly, the joyous occasion was dampened by the confusion of being ordered to report to the forty-eighth floor, it was where SOLDIER-wide addresses occurred and the only room that could fit all of the active SOLDIERs. Cloud was quick to notice that the newly returned SOLDIERs did not receive such messages.

They walked quickly, alongside their peers, to see what the nature of the orders were. As soon as everyone was accounted for and standing in rows by their rank, Director Lazard walked on the little stage at the front of the room.

"Welcome everyone. As I'm sure you've noticed, our comrades from Wutai have returned after a lengthy tour of duty. As such, Wutai is now in dire need of immediate aid. Therefore, deployment will begin tomorrow. We've called you down here to issue orders en masse. We realize this is unorthodox, but, given the situation, it's necessary."

Angeal moved on stage and stood behind Lazard. He was tense and his face looked rather unhappy. Lazard handed him the microphone and Angeal paused before speaking.

"Those deployed will be determined by a random draw of 200 SOLDIER 3rds, 200 SOLDIER 2nds and 25 SOLDIER 1sts."

Cloud was surprised at the number of 1sts up for deployment considering there couldn't be more than 35 of them on base. He figured they must have really hit a tough point in the war to need so many.

"Within moments your will receive a deployment order via your PHS if you have been chosen. Your job will be to be prepared to leave at 0600 hours tomorrow morning. You will report to the roof to be flown to Junon before being transported to the airfield south of Rocket Town via airship. From there you will be sent to Wutai by ship and will disembark at our base 177 km east of the village of Maiskov. The village is Shinra controlled. The General will be waiting there to direct you further."

The trill of hundreds of PHSs going off at once became almost deafening. It was so loud that Cloud couldn't even tell who's was pinging and not. As soon as the artificial noise stopped, the sound of gasps, groans, and thudding heartbeats filled the room as people checked their fates.

Beside him, Zack pulled out his PHS and frowned deeply at the screen. Cloud leaned over quickly and noticed that no message was received. He sighed in relief. Fishing in his own pocket, he pulled out his own PHS and felt his heart stop beating.

In black and white, across his screen, was an official deployment to Wutai.

"No," Zack whispered in horror as he saw the message. "No, no, no, _no_."

Cloud almost dropped the device in his haste to grab Zack's hand. His lover's blue eyes were wide and disbelieving as Cloud turned to face him completely, abandoning his position.

"Zack. Zack, it's going to be okay," Cloud breathed as he pulled the younger boy into his arms. He was trembling.

"That can't be right! Why aren't I going too? They can't send you alone. We need to be together," Zack choked as he spoke quickly. "What if something happens and I'm not _there_?"

"Nothing is going to happen, Zack. I'll be fine."

"How long will you be gone? This can't be happening..."

Thoughts of Cloud in various scenarios of danger or injury flooded Zack's mind and forced his eyes shut tight. The idea of Cloud getting wounded in Wutai and Zack not being able to save him stirred terror in him that he hadn't even known was there. His lover's eyes grew brighter every day it seemed and Zack was already beginning to worry about him. What if he got mako poisoning?

Only a few minutes later, the SOLDIERs were released and Zack broke out of Cloud's arms and rushed the stage. Director Lazard looked taken aback as he climbed right up and walked towards Angeal. He staggered as Cloud barreled into him from behind and tried to pull him back.

"Let _go_. I need to talk to him," Zack cried angrily.

"Zack! Look at what you're doing! You're going to get in trouble, you idiot," Cloud hissed in his ear while still trying to pet him softly to sooth his upset. Angeal looked on sadly.

"I'm sorry, Pup."

"Send me with him, please Angeal! Please!" Zack begged before quieting suddenly. He spun right around and buried his face in Cloud's chest. The emotions rushing through him didn't even make sense as he was filled with so much dread and pain.

"I can't do that, Zack. You're not ready. If anything, maybe this will be good for you two. You need to learn how to function without the other."

"Who was it?" Cloud asked quietly as he ran his fingers through Zack's hair.

"Sephiroth." Cloud growled lowly and nodded.

"Who was what? What's going on?" Zack demanded helplessly.

"I'm being sent to Wutai by request of a superior officer."

"That _bast_ — _!"_ Zack started to scream before Cloud muffled him. When his hand was removed tentatively from the younger boy's mouth, he continued in a softer but no less furious tone. "What does he want with Cloud now? What's he playing at?"

"He's your _General_ , Zack. He doesn't have to be playing at anything. Cloud was the highest score of the SOLDIER exam, it's logical that he'd be one of the first to be called out to the front. I know you're unhappy, but this is SOLDIER and these are your orders. You will be expected to follow them to the letter. Have some faith in Cloud. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Not if Sephiroth runs him through," Zack spat. Cloud's arms tightened around him in response to the memory of being impaled on Masamune.

"Sephiroth will not harm his own SOLDIERs, Zack. You've already crossed the line of insubordination. If I didn't know you and how you are, I'd have already started issuing punishment," Angeal said firmly before his face softened and he stepped forward to squeeze Zack's shoulder comfortingly. "I know it's hard, Pup. My best friends spend almost all their time trading shifts over there. Cloud's strong. He'll be fine and back before you know it."

"I'll be fine, Zack," Cloud whispered softly in his boyfriend's ear. Finally Zack started to relax.

"Be safe?" Zack asked as he fell completely against Cloud.

"Always. I'll always come back to you. It's a promise." Zack just nodded and started working to settle himself down. He only had a scarce few hours left with Cloud and he did _not_ want to spend them bawling. He could do that for a week straight after Cloud boarded the plane.

He didn't like that it was Sephiroth who requested Cloud's deployment though. The way he and Cloud react to one another was deeply upsetting to Zack. He just had this sinking feeling anytime they were near each other; like Sephiroth was just going to turn on them. Seeing Cloud hanging off the end of that huge sword was something he'd been having nightmares about before he even knew what it was he was seeing.

Having them stuck together for months where Zack couldn't help was no joyful proposition. The fear that his dream would come true was heavy on his heart. The only thing that comforted him was that the dream always happened in a mako reactor. He wasn't sure how he knew it was a reactor, as he'd never been inside one, but he was certain that's where it was going to happen.

"Go get packed, Cloud. Spend some time together," Angeal said sympathetically as he walked away to address another SOLDIER who wanted his attention.

* * *

The walk back to their apartment was like a dream. They walked hand in hand while ignoring the looks from other SOLDIERs. Zack often paused to lean a little closer to Cloud, as if he'd be able to fall right inside him and just never have to be separated from him again.

Cloud leaned back against their front door after he shut it behind him and closed his eyes. Zack pressed close again and Cloud wrapped his arms tightly around his younger love. Zack pressed a few long kisses to Cloud's neck. When had Cloud gotten so much taller than him? The blond just smiled softly and leaned down to kiss Zack more properly. Zack's mouth just opened easily under Cloud's prompting.

His eyelids were low and his eyes hazy as Cloud pulled away. A pink blush was dusting his cheeks, but not nearly as much as there used to be after a kiss like that.

"Please?" Zack whispered pleadingly and Cloud felt his heart seize at the thought.

"I—," he started and stopped as he couldn't think of anything to say.

" _Please?_ So I have something to think about?"

Cloud bit his lip and nodded slowly as he grabbed Zack's hand and pulled him off towards the bedroom. Zack's hand was tight in his own, and Cloud could hear his heartbeat speeding up slightly.

They'd discussed it many times, but Cloud didn't think he'd be faced with the actual act for at least a few more months. Of course, Cloud hadn't figured he wouldn't be here in a few months.

Both stood awkwardly for a moment in the bedroom. Zack looked expectant, hopeful, and terrified all at once and it spurred Cloud into motion as he realized he wouldn't be the one being taken care of this time. Zack had always taken care of everything before. Now it was Cloud's turn.

He slipped his hands around Zack's waist and pulled him in for a kiss. Zack's upset from before was making him passive as Cloud pushed his tongue into his mouth and roamed around. He wanted this, but all the things he'd thought about and planned for were rushing out of his brain at the reality. Luckily, Cloud knew what he was doing.

A tug at the bottom of his shirt forced Zack to look down. Cloud was pushing it up to reveal his abdomen and running his incredibly _hot_ hands over Zack's skin. The mako injection had raised Cloud's body temperature to an insane degree and he almost always felt fevered to Zack. Now it just felt wonderful as his fingers played with the skin of his lower torso teasingly. His head fell back uselessly as another of Cloud's hands snuck up to toy with his nipples just a bit.

It was all very slow and testing but Zack was loving it. Every touch resonated with him. His fatigues tented as he became more obviously interested in what Cloud was doing. His blond lover smirked lustily at the sight.

"Good?" Cloud asked in a low voice.

" _Yeah_ ," Zack hissed as Cloud popped the button on his pants open. Cloud's eyes were brightly glowing with heated mako as he slid down to his knees smoothly. Zack's head snapped back forward to look down at Cloud as his zipper was lowered. Cloud raised an eyebrow and continued to smirk as he let gravity draw Zack's fatigues down around his ankles. He was left standing in his boxers and kicked the pants away as if he was afraid Cloud would force him to put them back on. His arousal was heavy in the air for their enhanced senses.

Cloud didn't bother saying anything as he mouthed against Zack's clothed member through his boxers. Zack's groan bounced off the walls as his legs shook. Cloud directed him to turn around and they gave out on him; letting him fall back against the bed. Cloud didn't let any space form between them as he came forward to keep at his ministrations.

Zack's hand came up to his mouth unconsciously so he could bite his thumb and stay quiet. It was a habit he'd picked up while sharing the barracks with other cadets.

Cold air his flesh as the last barrier between him and Cloud was removed abruptly. It didn't last long though as Cloud engulfed him in the heat of his mouth. Zack cried out and couldn't resist the urge to buck his hips desperately at the sensation. Cloud, no stranger to this, was able to accommodate Zack even deeper.

Zack was thrashing against the bed in need as Cloud bobbed up and down rhythmically. What little of Zack's member wasn't in his mouth was worked by his hand. This wasn't the first time that Cloud had satisfied him by mouth, but this time he was being more of a tease in an effort to keep Zack from climaxing too soon.

He pulled off and smiled at Zack who was barely able to lift his head to stare at Cloud longingly.

"Please?" Zack asked again in a weak voice.

"Alright," Cloud agreed and stepped back. Zack shivered at the onslaught of cold air on his body. "Shirt off, Zack." He nodded an complied to the request - no, order - with haste. Cloud walked to the side of the bed and grabbed the sealed tube of lubricant that Zack had bought to try and encourage Cloud's will to break.

Opening it up, he spread some over his fingers before looking down at it in confusion. Zack looked up and blushed deep red.

"It was all they had," Zack mumbled while looking away.

"Strawberry? _Really_?" Cloud asked with a laugh. Zack kicked him halfheartedly.

"Shut _up_ ," he whined.

Cloud just smiled and used his sudden distraction to lunge forward and slip a finger in to Zack's relaxed body. Instantly, the other boy tensed.

"Come on, Zack. You practice with pain simulation on in the VR room. Sex isn't that bad," Cloud said while pressing a few open mouthed kisses to Zack's hip. The dark haired boy just nodded shakily and forced his body to relax. Content, Cloud went back to working him open. Narrowing his eyes he twisted his fingers around till he heard Zack groan again.

"More. More of that. Yeah. That," Zack babbled and spread his legs a little more.

"Happy to oblige," Cloud purred.

"No, don't say that. 'Oblige' is something he'd say. Don't wanna think about _him_ ," Zack whined while still pressing back against Cloud's fingers. Cloud just blinked at Zack in confusion. Who was 'him'? He chose to brush it aside as Zack continued to make loud needy noises in response to what Cloud was doing to him.

Satisfied with how relaxed Zack had become, Cloud backed up and pulled his own shirt over his head. Zack's eyes went wide and then narrowed in lust.

"That mako really did you good, Cloud," he said hotly.

"Well at least I got something out of it then," he said while shrugging and pushing his pants down his hips. He didn't bother wearing boxers that day so he was bare underneath. Zack's intake of breath was welcome as Cloud slicked himself up. He was average in length in girth, but that was probably a good thing because he'd look disproportionate any other way.

Zack was biting his lip again and twitching all over; not least of which being between his legs. He truly did look aroused and interested, so Cloud felt a little better about doing this. They'd been together plenty long enough.

He moved between Zack's legs and kneeled on the bed. Zack lifted his hips helpfully as Cloud pulled him closer.

"You sure?" Cloud asked one final time as he positioned himself. Zack's animated nod was enough to convince him and he pressed forward. Zack's body opened up around him as his lover was deliciously relaxed. Zack's mane of black hair flung back as he tossed his head back in a desperate moan.

"Gaia, _please._ "

Cloud leaned down, grabbed a fistful of Zack's hair and gently pulled him up for a deep kiss as he moved forward until he was buried to the hilt. Zack's mouth was open and the kiss was sloppy as they panted in tandem. His eyes were fixed on Zack's red and wet lips as he pulled back to find a good rhythm. He pulled out and snapped his hips back in quickly to see how Zack could handle a fast pace. The resulting noises were more than favorable as Cloud brushed right against his prostate.

Cloud's hand settled on Zack's hips tightly and settled into that pace. It was far quicker than a non-enhanced or tense person would have enjoyed, but Zack clearly had no complaints as he begged for more and clawed needily at Cloud's skin. Cloud didn't dissuade him as he had always found nails a bit of a turn on.

"You're _so fucking good_. Gaia, more. Please more," Zack gasped between thrusts. One of his legs had come around Cloud's waist and was holding on tight.

Cloud fell forward and pressed his palm into the bed as he grabbed Zack's other leg and pulled it around him. Zack leaned up and captured his lips in another wet kiss. His cheeks were a gorgeous pink and his blue eyes were glowing incredibly bright from mako racing through his veins in time with his thudding heart. Just the sight of him was like an injection of lust into Cloud's veins and he fought to keep his thrusts evenly timed. The desire to give into carnal lust and just _fuck_ Zack was hard to ignore, but Cloud refused to make this bad in any way for Zack. This was _his_ first time, not Cloud's, so it was supposed to be all about him. He smiled as he was tugged down closer so Zack could keep kissing him.

Zack was in five different kinds of heaven. Cloud was hitting everything just _perfect_ and it was stoking the fire that had suddenly blossomed inside him. His thoughts were nearly incoherent as his mouth just let whatever was going through them tumble out in frantic requests and unintelligible noises.

If he'd had any doubts about being with a guy before, he had none now. It was better than he could have expected.

 

> " _Focus on me, baby. That's it. Good, Cloud. Gaia, you're beautiful."_

Zack shook his head in a daze at the memory. When was that?

He didn't get to dwell on it as Cloud didn't let up on his thrusting until Zack felt like the edge he was walking on was going to crumble out from underneath him at any moment. His words were practically sobbed now. Cloud looked plenty affected too as his eyes rolled back every time Zack's body gave an involuntary twitch.

Zack's vision went white as Cloud wrapped a hand around him and stroked firmly. He barely lasted three pumps before he was screaming Cloud's name so loudly that he was probably testing the soundproofing on these apartments. Cloud thrust a few more times before stilling with a low groan of his own. Zack, coming down from his own climax, felt the rush of heat throughout him and shuddered violently as his body almost tried to orgasm again.

Panting, Cloud 's arm folded and he fell on his forearms while still propped above Zack. His young lover looked up at him and gave a soft smile as he pulled Cloud in for a deep kiss. Cloud felt ten years of love spill out into that kiss. Zack just went along with it; pouring in his own sizable portion of devotion. Their fingers tangled as their hands found one another and Cloud rolled over to pull Zack on top of him.

Zack settled in wonderfully by his side and laid his head on Cloud's shoulder like he'd done in the dream Cloud would have so many years in the future.

* * *

It didn't take Cloud long to fall asleep in the lull, but Zack stayed awake a little longer. His heart was still filled with sadness at the idea that he'd be losing his best friend and love come morning for months on end. Even further, the conflicting memories and flashbacks to things Zack didn't remember happening were becoming much more frequent since Cloud's mako injection. It was beginning to worry him to a degree as not all of his visions were sweet in nature.

Sometimes they were, and he's see himself, Cloud, and some beautiful girl in pink. Together and happy. And everything felt _wonderful_ when they were together like that. He didn't even know who the girl was, but he knew she was important. Without her, they weren't even truly whole. Or maybe Zack was, but Cloud wasn't. And if Cloud wasn't whole, then could Zack ever really be?

Other times, he dreamed of Cloud fighting off hundreds of monsters at a time without rest. Or protecting that girl with Angeal's sword. And then sometimes he saw him fighting Sephiroth... or dying by his sword. It was all confusing and, if it happened only in sleep, Zack would have been able to believe it was all just manifestations of his worries or hopes. Dreams could be weird after all. But he couldn't say he'd ever heard of anyone actually _hearing_ things while not sleeping and it being healthy, even if it was only his own voice. He wanted to ask Cloud, but something inside him told him that it wasn't wise to upset him right now. Cloud was already so worried all the time anyway with things that Zack hoped his lover would one day be able to share with him.

But Zack was going to need to figure himself out before he could ever try to figure Cloud out too.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed; typos likely. Fast and possibly Rushed Pace; I apologize, I wrote this while exhausted.
> 
> Good God, I almost did not finish this chapter on time for a morning update. I got far enough through to be sure of an on-time update and my urge to sleep started to kick in. Still, I finished! Huzzah.
> 
> See you on Oct 5th.

The next morning was quite possibly the worst day Zack could remember in his whole life. They woke up well before 0600 hours but spent a good hour just laying in bed and holding one another. The intimate mood was still in place as Zack clung to Cloud like he was just going to evaporate. Cloud stared off into space and ran his hand through Zack's hair.

When the hour began to creep up on them, Cloud dragged himself out of bed much to Zack's heartbreak. He packed his duffel bag as quickly as possible so he could spend just a little more time with his lover before boarding his helicopter. Zack caught on and went to work on helping.

Every so often their hands would brush as Zack handed Cloud something and the younger boy would close his eyes tightly. The desire still present from before and the sadness were creating a confusing mix in his body and mind. If he believed for just one moment he'd be able to convince Cloud to stay, he would have tried.

As soon as packing was done, they slid into a shower together and cleaned away the last signs of their night together. Zack's eyes focused on the drain sadly. It was a silly notion to be upset about getting clean, but he was so torn up about Cloud leaving that he would have loved to have his scent on him just a little longer. He hoped the bed sheets would smell like Cloud for awhile.

Cloud saw the pain in his expression and pulled Zack against him. They were flush against one another but Zack couldn't even become excited from all the hurt welling up in his heart. The sound of Cloud whispering promises in his ear finally broke the dam and Zack started to cry against Cloud's shoulder. Losing Cloud was the scariest thing he'd ever experienced and it wasn't even permanent. Zack couldn't even bear to think about the idea of Cloud dying in combat. It'd be the end of Zack.

"I'm coming back to you. I swear, Zack. I swear," Cloud said fervently.

"I know... I know. It's just so hard, Cloud. Gaia, I love you; please don't leave," Zack sobbed before thinking about it. Cloud's eyes shut as his heart warmed over from the simple little phrase he hadn't heard out of Zack since he'd been sent back.

"I love you too, Zack. That's why I need you to be strong. Use this time to get training in with Angeal. Work hard so that when I get back we can move forward together."

Zack stopped crying long enough to realized he'd accidentally told Cloud he loved him and that Cloud had said it back. There were still tears in his eyes as they widened. Overcome, he lunged forward and pressed his lips tightly to Cloud's.

He was right. Zack needed to be stronger than this. And he could do it. Not only did he have to, he wanted to. He didn't want Cloud to be walking on eggshells around him; afraid that Zack was just going to break at every little upset. He willed the tears to stop completely and he pulled away. A quick shake of his head and he put a determined expression on his face.

"I'll be strong, Cloud. And I'll be waiting."

Cloud smiled and cupped Zack's face in his hands to pull him in for another slow kiss.

* * *

The walk to the roof was a quiet affair, but Zack was definitely doing better about steeling himself for the final goodbye. His eyes were clear and his hand was loose in Cloud's. In his mind, he was pouring over what he needed to do while Cloud was away. He wasn't that far behind in skill for the most part, but some things could definitely use work. He could also use this time to make some strong friendships. Cloud being around tended to keep him distracted a lot, so he didn't get to socialize much with other SOLDIERs. He was going to need to get to know the people who were guarding his back.

The helicopter was boarding as they arrived and Cloud turned to Zack.

"I'll be home before you know it. Call me every night, and I'll be calling you when I'm free," Cloud said while he pulled Zack into a tight hug. The younger boy wound his arms around Cloud's middle and squeezed. "If you... meet someone—"

"Don't. Just... don't. There's not a single person on this planet who could compare to you, Cloud," Zack said with a small growl at just the idea of leaving Cloud.

"I know, but if you get lonely, Zack—"

Zack wasn't going to let him finish as he cut him off again, "Fuck that. I'll get reacquainted with my hand. And I've got friends to fill in for the rest of the loneliness. Besides, I'll be talking to you every day, so I won't get to get that lonely. Stop trying to give me an out."

Cloud smiled again and pressed a kiss to his annoyed boyfriend's forehead. "Alright then."

"Be safe, Cloud. You're an amazing fighter, so I'm not too worried. Just don't get ambushed," Zack teased; mostly because he couldn't trust himself to be serious without breaking again.

"I'll be fine, Zack. I'll have the whole army by my side."

"Well, keep Sephiroth about 50 yards ahead of you."

Cloud laughed and ruffled Zack's hair. "Got it. I'll be home soon. You take care," he said lovingly as he turned to leave.

"Wait!" Cloud turned back and looked at Zack quizzically. "What about 'goodbye'?" Zack asked with a tilt of his head.

"Goodbye is for an ending, and this isn't an ending," Cloud explained. Zack's smile could have shamed the rising sun as he threw himself into Cloud's arms for one last kiss. As they parted their eyes met and Cloud felt so at peace. The piece of Aeris inside of him enveloped his heart and warmed him to the core. It suddenly made sense why neither of them were upset with the other for being with Cloud. Just seeing each other happy was enough.

Cloud boarded the helicopter with confidence. He knew he'd survive and now he was sure that Zack would be fine too. They'd both be better off in the end anyway, because Cloud needed to get stronger to save everyone and this was the perfect opportunity.

* * *

Arriving in Junon triggered a few memories from his days as an infantryman and a few more from his time in AVALANCHE. The sight of Barret in a sailor suit was something Cloud would sorely miss teasing the hardened man about.

The city smelled terrible as the underwater reactor churned up mako and sea spray, but luckily they were shuffled right towards the airship. It took about two hours to get all the SOLDIERs transported from Midgar to Junon and onto the airship, but as soon as they were accounted for the large thing started up. Cloud was reminded of riding aboard the Highwind, but this model was significantly less advanced. The noise of the engines was almost deafening in the hold where the SOLDIERs were directed to for the duration of the journey.

Cloud passed time by polishing his sword and conversing with a neighbor about Wutai geography. Not surprisingly, his in-flight companion knew very little compared to Cloud.

Admittedly, Cloud was surprised that, this far into the war, Shinra _only_ controlled up to Maiskov. The Wutai people must have done a very good job defending the coast and mountain passes for the first few years. Still, Maiskov could easily lead into capturing Suitae, and Suitae had two direct connections straight to the capital.

Cloud knew the last thing captured in the Wutai War would be Fort Tamblin, because Zack and Angeal had captured it together before Zack was ever promoted to 1st Class.

* * *

It was early evening when they touched down at the airfield southwest of Rocket Town. It was a large field on the cape that formed Leviathan's Pass, the narrow strait between Wutai and the Western Continent. They were immediately loaded into cargo trucks and driven south to the port southeast of the Pass. The waters of Leviathan's Pass made it impossible for ships to move from Wutai to the airfield directly, so water travel had to be conducted at a specially constructed port to ferry SOLDIERs and infantrymen into the hostile country. Every building was heavily fortified in case of attack; though Wutai troops had long since given up trying to counter-attack on Shinra territory.

The warship they were put on brought them across the Great Sea and delivered them straight to the Shinra base. With no dock, they were forced to take amphibious assault ships to shore. About 30 SOLDIERs per ship and each ship returned several times to pick up the next bunch. Cloud waited patiently, but the SOLDIER 3rds were the last group to be taken to shore. The sun was close to rising by the time Cloud's feet touched Wutai soil.

"Move, move, move. No rest till we meet up with the rest of the army," a young Major, a SOLDIER 1st, barked and directed the arriving SOLDIER 3rds to move along the road to Maiskov to rejoin the new arrivals.

Cloud was anticipating this lack of a break and had made sure to stay hydrated on the trip here. He jogged up to the rest of his peers and set his mind into a travel-friendly place. His senses were still on alter as he was well aware they could be ambushed at any time. The trees had been mostly cleared from the area to give the enemy little room to hide, but Wutai soldiers were an incredibly crafty bunch.

They worked their way through the moderate jungle as a group. The 1sts headed the pack and the 2nds and 3rds mingled behind them based on commitment to speed. Cloud easily pulled ahead of the rest of his group and trailed close to the 1sts. He was accustomed to this kind of travel, so it was no trouble for him to keep up. Plus his extra mako was making up the difference in enhancement between him and the 1sts ahead of them.

Every once in awhile, one of the 1sts would turn around and shout encouragement to the rest of the SOLDIERs in the back. They'd cite Cloud's speed as reason for people to catch up. Some tried, and eventually gave up, but many ignored them.

Their enhancement allowed SOLDIERs to run for much longer periods than a normal human, so it was mid afternoon when they finally stopped. They'd covered 50 or so miles in about eight hours, and were forced to stop to refuel. The mako in their bodies, because they were still partially organic, being activated for so long burned through more fluids than normal. Their bodies still required the nourishment and water to keep their bodies functioning regularly.

This generally made SOLDIERs incredibly hungry individuals. Unfortunately, they were on rations in Wutai so MREs were distributed. The food was disgusting but Cloud choked it down anyway. He'd need it and there wouldn't be any high-class dining at war. He wasn't dehydrated as he'd packed plenty of water and continued to drink it during the travel.

A boy fell down beside Cloud unceremoniously. It took a moment to recognize him, but eventually Cloud connected a name to the face. He was Sawyer Dodd from the barracks he'd been assigned to as a cadet.

"Hey Cloud. How's it goin'?"

"Fine," Cloud mumbled around as bite of food.

"You're one hell of an overachiever, man. Keeping up with the 1sts? You sure Lt. General Hewley isn't grooming you for leadership one day?"

"Doubtful. I just train with every spare moment," Cloud said with a shrug. It was true for the most part, and he didn't see the need to inform the other boy about his higher mako content.

"How the hell do you do it? I tried to keep as motivated as you during our basic training, but you and Zack are like cut from some golden cloth or something. How'd he take you getting deployed?"

"As well as one could expect, but he'll be fine. Zack's stronger than he gives himself credit for."

Sawyer nodded and looked up at the trees as sweat poured down his face. His clothing was soaked and his chest was still heaving. Cloud was surprised he'd even passed the SOLDIER exam, based on his performance in basic training.

"How long do you think they're gonna give us to recuperate?" he asked with a grimace.

"Not long enough, I'd say."

"Fuck," Sawyer cursed and frowned. He fell silent for a few minutes and looked around, but eventually the quiet must have gotten to him as he spoke again, "So you and Zack, how did that happen?"

"You ask a lot of questions," Cloud grumbled under his breath.

"Huh?" Sawyer asked in confusion. "I didn't catch that."

"I said, we just ended up together after realizing we were both interested. We met while being recruited."

"That's cool. Don't see too much of that around, but it's a lot better received in Midgar."

Cloud nodded and continued to eat in the hopes that Sawyer would get bored and move on. Regrettably, he found Cloud plenty interesting and stayed right where he was, asking question after question, until they started moving again. Even the shortest of answers hadn't discouraged him. Fortunately, Cloud was a much faster runner than he was and quickly outstripped him once the army was back to traveling.

* * *

They ran until nightfall before reaching Maiskov. The little village that had once belonged to Wutai was now a fortified camp for Shinra. The buildings, as the SOLDIERs ran past them, could be seen to be offices and make-shift homes for the officers. The rest of the army, infantrymen and SOLDIERs, were camped around all around the village. There were plenty of empty places where the last batch of SOLDIERs had returned home. Barbed wire and roving guards protected them from attack.

A Colonel received them at the heart of the village. All the SOLDIERs snapped to attention despite their exhaustion.

"At ease. I'm Col Hallowitz. You'll be given the rest of the night to get settled before you receive orders tomorrow. All officers remain here; the rest of you are dismissed."

With a final salute, Cloud and the rest of the regular SOLDIERs were released to set up camp. Cloud picked up a tent and chose spot on the edge of the campsite. He pitched the tent and rolled out his bed before laying down. The ground was hard under him and Cloud already missed his warm bed and Zack. Gaia did he miss Zack.

Fishing in his bag, he pulled out his PHS and turned it on. He'd tried to conserve battery by keeping it off because there would be no charging it until he was given time tomorrow to access the generators.

He hit the key for Zack's speed dial and held the device up to his ear. Belatedly, he realized it would be early morning in Midgar at this time.

Still, it only rang twice before Zack answered enthusiastically, albeit sleepily, "Clowd?— _cough_ —Cloud?!"

"Hey Zack," Cloud said with a smile.

"Thank Gaia, I've been waiting for you to call! Why didn't you call yesterday?"

"We've been traveling up till just now. I've only just made it to camp."

"Ouch. On foot?"

"Yeah," Cloud said distastefully.

"That's horrible! They didn't let you rest?" Zack asked in an actually horrified tone, as though the idea of Cloud not being allowed to rest was the most insane thing he'd ever heard.

"We got a lunch break, but nothing more than that. I'm alright though. It was a good workout."

"You're a workaholic, you know that right? So I trained all day in VR with Angeal yesterday. It was pretty cool, but you weren't there so I was lonely. A few people took pity on me for being so depressed and invited me to go see a movie this weekend. I almost didn't say yes, but I figured you wouldn't want me moping around all the time. So...," Zack continued to ramble on about his day and Cloud closed his eyes in relaxation. Just the sound of Zack's voice was enough to soothe away all the hardship of the day.

"Mm, that's pretty interesting," he purred in an amused tone when Zack paused.

"You sound really tired. It's night there, right?"

"Mhmm."

"You want me to let you get some sleep?" Zack asked tentatively.

"Just keep talking, Zack. When I stop responding, it means I fell asleep," Cloud said without opening his eyes.

Happily, Zack obeyed and continued to chatter on for about an hour before Cloud stopped answering. Through the phone he could hear the even breaths of his boyfriend and he assumed he'd finally fallen asleep on the other end.

He smiled softly and whispered, "I love you, Cloud," before hanging up.

In Wutai, Cloud mumbled, "Love y' too," in his sleep as his phone slid down to land in the crook of his neck.

* * *

Waking up was hell for Cloud as his body reminded him that it missed his bed once again by aching all over. The bedroll was more insulting than anything considering how little it actually provided between him and the ground. He may have to build a bed out of brush if this kept up.

His neck cracked and his cheek hit cool plastic as he moved his head around a little. Blindly, he reached a hand up and grabbed his PHS and snapped it shut. In the back of his mind, he could feel a nagging sensation as though he was forgetting something and he frowned sourly while trying to figure out what it was.

"Glad to see you're awake, Strife," Sephiroth's amused voice said smoothly from above him.

Cloud's eyes snapped open and he barely recovered his senses in time to hold back the arm that had grasped the hilt of his weapon. Sephiroth was staring down at him from outside his tent with a raised eyebrow. Cloud fixed him with an angry glare.

"I could have attacked you," Cloud growled in a sleep roughened voice.

"I can assure you, I would have moved well before that sword of yours connected. I'd like to speak with you in my quarters. I trust you're aware that you're here by my request?"

"Yeah. Just so you know, Zack may kill you the next time you set foot in Midgar," Cloud said while frowning and crawling out of the tent.

"I suppose I'll just have to avoid Mr. Fair like my life depends on it. Certainly, he can't stay murderous forever?"

"You don't know how tenacious he can be," Cloud threatened with a smirk before realizing he was joking around with _Sephiroth_ and schooling his features back into a neutral, if not angry, mask.

"I see you still bear your ardent dislike of me. If Mr. Fair is half as tenacious as you, then I'll be dead the second my heel hits the Midgar pavement. However, it's good to know things have been well enough with you for you not to have developed any sort of meaningful changes to your personality," Sephiroth said wryly.

Cloud rolled his eyes and gestured towards the village, "Shall we, sir?"

"Of course," Sephiroth said with a smirk.

They walked briskly back to the largest house where Sephiroth had settled in. Cloud stared at the rooms in disgust at the thought of what happened to the family this house once belonged to and where they were now. Sephiroth led him to a room he'd turned into an office with a large desk that had a huge map of Wutai stretched out over it.

"This village was evacuated and the civilians escaped the capital," Sephiroth explained as though he could read Cloud's mind; he probably could.

"So they were the lucky ones then?" Cloud asked venomously.

Sephiroth raised another eyebrow. "You do know anti-war sentiments are not taken well by Shinra, correct?"

"Do I really strike you as the type to care?"

"Noted. Look at this map and tell me what you see."

Cloud leaned over the desk and surveyed the positions of the troops. Gi-Ysk to the south was still Wutai controlled and was being held back by a team of SOLDIERs. The rope bridges were a bottle neck that neither side was willing to do away with. Without the bridge, the only way for either side to get in or out of Gi-Ysk was by water. Which mean that Shinra couldn't conquer it if the bridge was cut. And the Wutai troops knew that, because they had already cut the bridge to the western Suitae; as noted by an X over it. They must not be cutting the bridge to Gi-Ysk to prevent getting trapped up there.

Suitae was defended on both sides by Wutai soldiers who blocked the paths out of the canyon. The path to the south was heavily fortified, like Kunsel implied. The choke point was the mountain pass to the north of Suitae that had a road up. It was not easily defended, but the marksmen from above had a clear shot to fire down on Shinra troops trying to fight through to the top.

"Looks to me you're not getting up there without significant losses."

"I'm aware. What is your opinion?"

"Distract them to the north, attack full force in the South. They won't be expecting you to charge into their more fortified territory. If you gain some ground, they are more likely to move people south to strengthen the defenses. Then the rest of us in the North can push through the skeleton crew to seize the city."

Cloud felt dirty to be helping Shinra win its war, but the faster it was done the less lives would be lost. Dragging the war out for several more years would only hurt Wutai all that much more. He just hoped that Yuffie was safe in the capital.

"That's... interesting. What makes you so certain that our forces, small enough to leave them confident enough in the North to send troops south, would be able to break through even a weakened defense? Their marksmen are very accurate."

"Make the whole team in the north consist of SOLDIER 1sts."

Sephiroth nodded, but smiled oddly as though he knew something Cloud did not. "If they see SOLDIER 1st uniforms or me on the field, they will not abandon the North."

Cloud snorted as he responded, "That's why you'll be playing the part down in the South. The SOLDIERs in the North will be wearing the uniforms of 3rds."

Sephiroth's eyebrows rose high and his eyes widened comically. "That... may work."

"Of course it will work; it's why you requested me out here. Tell no one, attack quick, or you'll lose your advantage. I'm going with the northern team."

"That sounded awfully like an order, SOLDIER," Sephiroth pointed out in an authoritative voice. Cloud just gave a mocking sneer. "Besides, you yourself pointed out that the team to the North will need to be SOLDIER 1sts alone."

"You won't find a SOLDIER in this army closer to a 1st than the one in front of you right now. I just pointed out how to capture your road to the capital in under five minutes of looking at your map. You want someone on each end who understands this plan. You need to be in the South, and I need to be in the North."

Sephiroth seemed to consider this a moment. Cloud could actually _see_ him weighing the pros of accepting against the cons of letting Cloud have his way. It was almost a rush to be the one telling _him_ what to do this time.

"...So be it. The men will not understand why I am giving a 3rd control over a group of 1sts, however."

"You could always promote me," Cloud suggested dryly. He had no expectations that Sephiroth would agree.

Sephiroth smirked as he said, "Ambitious are we? No, you'll need to progress as normal through SOLDIER. I will simply make it clear this is a special case. We will move at week's end."

"Understood," Cloud said firmly.

* * *

In Midgar, Zack was staring at the ceiling of his and Cloud's apartment with Cloud's pillow pressed to his nose. It still had Cloud's scent all over it and it was comforting. He wanted to call Cloud, but he knew it would be the middle of the day in Wutai and he didn't want to bother Cloud while he was working or fighting. He'd just wait till Cloud called him in the morning.

Angeal let him off the hook tonight on coming over for dinner as he knew Zack was still feeling blue about Cloud's deployment. He fully intended to spend the whole night cuddling this pillow till he felt better.

It wasn't entirely pathetic as he was using the time to sort through his memories in search of some hint about why he was suddenly remembering things that never happened.

He was turning up no real leads, but he was succeeding in calling back some of these foreign memories now though. Before, he'd not been able to recall them completely. Like as if they were dreams, forgotten upon waking. Now he could clearly bring them back at will. They were almost all silent in nature though. What little he had heard had been without any visual memory to accompany it.

He could remember staring at the sky while laying in the rain. There was nothing more to that memory except that things got blurry towards the end of it. Something told Zack that it continued, but he just couldn't remember the rest.

What was really weird though was he could remember a place he _knows_ he's never traveled to. He could visualize Nibelheim in his head perfectly. It had happened once when Cloud mentioned something about his hometown and Zack was flooded with memories. The odd structure of the buildings, the water tower, the smell of baking bread, and oddly smoke. There was a heavy smell of smoke that he remembered every time he thought about Nibelheim.

Zack had often wanted to ask Cloud about what he remembered, but was afraid to come off as crazy to his boyfriend. People just didn't 'remember' things they had never experienced.

Inside, he was starting to feel like a forked road. Most of him pointed one way, leading to his normal life, and another piece of him veered off into strange unknown territory. The only thing prompting him to travel further down the rabbit hole was that he could just feel it in his bones that he'd understand Cloud better if he could just piece it all back together.

He tried to remember back to when it all started and it once again led back to Cloud. It had started when they first met, and Zack had seen that vision of them in the flowers. The dizziness he had felt was another layer to the mystery. He wondered if Cloud had felt that too when they met. Bizarrely, he actually figured he probably _had_.

Cloud seemed to be connected to things that Zack didn't understand anyway. Why else would Hojo choose him above all others to fuck with? Why else would Sephiroth find him so damn interesting?

Something that bothered him immensely were his feelings toward Sephiroth and that strange redhead. He didn't like Sephiroth much, mostly because he upset Cloud, but something inside him just _snapped_ when the other man had tried to get close to Cloud after his injections. He just knew he couldn't let him get too close to Cloud. It called to instincts so deep inside him he didn't even know they existed.

The redhead, Reno, Cloud had called him, was something different. Just the sight of him filled Zack with enough jealousy to turn him green. Once again, he was left in the dark about why. Clearly, Cloud had never met the man before he pulled him out of the labs, something Zack should be thankful towards him for, so they couldn't have been lovers at any point. That didn't mean that Zack didn't just get a distinct sense that they had slept together at some point. Cloud had been no virgin when he and Zack had made love, though Zack most definitely had been. Beyond that, Zack just _knew_ he was a dangerous and black-hearted bastard. He didn't have to know the guy well to see what was so plainly written on his cruel features. Zack was convinced he had something to do with Kalm's burning.

He didn't want to pry into Cloud's life, but another piece of him really wanted answers. Feeling like he was some kind of basket case all the time wasn't fun. Inside, he knew Cloud would understand too. Cloud would know exactly what was happening, but Cloud may not be ready to know. Zack didn't have to understand his own problems to know that Cloud was carrying a burden so much bigger than the both of them. Inside the deep recesses of his mind, he even knew what it was, but every time he tried to call up the memory it got stuck like having a word on the tip of your tongue but unable to say it.

The fear was overwhelming every once in awhile, but the confusion bothered him so much more. He had such a curious nature and having the biggest puzzle since what happened to his pet baby Flower Prong as a kid being laid out before him with him being unable to solve it was incredibly frustrating. With enough digging, and time, he'd figure it out but every moment that past left him a little more in doubt about his sanity.

And yet, Zack also knew he was getting closer to becoming whole again. He just wished he understood what 'whole' meant.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed; tired, typos likely, the usual.
> 
> So about 1 am last night, I was in a bit of a pickle. I received a beta key for a game I've been waiting months for, and thus wanted to spend all night playing. I also wanted to bake a pumpkin pie. And then of course, I knew chapter 17 needed to be written... So I played the game for a few hours, baked a pie around 4am, then started chapter 17. So if things are awkward, that's why. I'll be doing a lot of proofreading later, so typos should be corrected.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 7th.

The week crept by slowly as Cloud and Sephiroth hashed out the plan for taking Suitae, and the road to the capital by proxy. Many a night was spent on each side of the map of Wutai in Sephiroth's quarters with heated glares plastered on their faces as they argued on some point or another.

"I was under the impression you wished to make it back to Mr. Fair _alive_."

"I know what I'm doing," Cloud growled as he gestured to the heavily marked map. He'd done more than three quarters of the work for the long term plan to end this war and yet Sephiroth still doubted his ability.

"Frankly, I do _not_ know that you know what you're doing."

"What?" Cloud asked in annoyance.

Sephiroth leaned back against the wall behind him and looked down his nose at Cloud. "You strike me as incredibly reckless and foolish. Your glory-seeking isn't going to keep you alive out here, Strife."

"Glory-seeking?" Cloud scoffed. "The only one concerned with how this _looks_ is you, you pompous hypocrite. There's no glory in killing innocent people for the sake of a few more mako reactors."

"So you keep saying, however it does not change your cooperation, so who exactly is the hypocrite here?" Sephiroth sneered with a sweep of his hands towards Cloud.

"I'm just doing my job. That's more than you can say," the blond snarled.

"Oh? Is my job not to win this war? Perhaps you should enlighten me on the duties of a General then, SOLDIER third class."

"You can win a war without being unnecessarily brutal. You kill anything that passes in front of your sword. Men, women, children. How can you even call yourself a leader when you so easily take the lives of those who have nothing to do with Shinra's greed?"

Sephiroth lunged forward and gripped the wood of the desk so hard that it splintered. "Because, those people in front of my sword attack my SOLDIERs. People like _you_ , who I am sworn to protect. All those men, all those women, and even the children fight this useless war that they will _never_ win. They are responsible for this bloodshed."

Cloud's own hands began to tighten around the wood as well as the mako in his veins surged in fury. "Is that how you get to sleep at night, _sir_?" The creaking of the desk under both of their grips was the only sound in the suddenly silent room. Cloud could feel his eyes go slitted. They had been doing that often during these impromptu arguments. It had initially shocked Sephiroth enough to make him stop the fight, but now it only inflamed his temper more as he knew how angry Cloud was about something.

"One might question what side you're on, Strife," came the lowly hissed reply.

Cloud's lip curled up as he growled, "I don't have a side. Or if I do, it's _my_ side. I work for Shinra, so I'll fight Shinra's wars at the basic minimum, but I won't soil my conscience going above and beyond. That's the difference between you and me. You do as you're told, and I do what's right."

Sephiroth's eyes narrowed till Cloud could only see his pupils by the unholy glow that had taken over them. A crack was running down the center of the desk now, and if it broke then this would be the third desk they'd ruined in a week.

"I could have you discharged for the amount of insubordination you show on a regular basis."

"And yet, here I am," Cloud said in a deadpan voice before continuing, "You can't afford to cut anyone. Shinra is pumping out half-trained SOLDIERs just to keep this war afloat. The fact is: you're not winning here. The great General Sephiroth can't lead an army against an underdeveloped country using _guerilla_ tactics. The spirit of Wutai is keeping you held back every time you take a step forward on their soil. Besides, some part of you enjoys this."

* * *

Sephiroth was coming to absolutely despise Cloud Strife. Unfortunately, for every measure of hatred that took root in his soul, his interest rose another notch. He could honestly say that he'd never been spoken to in such a manner aside from Genesis, who knew him better than anyone in the world. Strife had zero fear for his life or his job, and Sephiroth could not bring himself to prove the blond wrong.

It was made all that much worse by the fact that Strife was an _excellent_ tactician. Sephiroth had even been forced to concede that Strife had more knowledge than himself on the subject. Being second best at something had been humbling for the first five minutes before he used it as another reason to fight with Strife.

The thing that truly hit him the hardest though, was that Strife saw right through him. Sephiroth _did_ enjoy these exchanges for some unknown and possibly frightening reason. Being challenged mentally was not a common treat for Sephiroth and Strife offered it so willingly. The price was a piece of Sephiroth's sanity, but he kept paying it like a man possessed as Strife lured him into another fight.

Sometimes, he got the feeling Strife was hoping that one day Sephiroth would simply attack him and allow Strife an opportunity to act on his lingering hatred for him. It took quite a bit of his willpower to abstain from indulging the boy even in that. The confidence in Strife's eyes unnerved him anyway; the younger man acted as though he _knew_ without a shadow of a doubt that he'd win in a fight between them. Sephiroth was not a vain man, but he knew his own strength. Strife could never hope to beat him; no man could ever hope to beat him. Still, Strife managed to fill him with a seed of self-doubt from time to time.

The attack was to happen tomorrow morning, and they were trying to agree on who would take the town. They had reached the same conclusion that not long after the northern team broke through the defenses that the South would break as well. In panic, the Wutai forces would stretch too thin on both fronts. Strife would be leading the SOLDIER 1sts, but Sephiroth would have the bulk of the army. One group would secure a stable hold on one of the roads to Suitae and the other would officially conquer the village.

Strife made the case that the SOLDIER 1sts were better prepared to get into the village and hold it than the 2nds, 3rds, and infantry, but Sephiroth contested this based on the fact that they would be led by Strife and not a more seasoned officer.

Sephiroth had to admit that his own doubts were relatively unfounded given the extent of Strife's knowledge thus far, but he was reluctant to agree that a SOLDIER 3rd could lead a better capture than _he_ could. He would, of course, deny being envious till the day he died.

Rubbing his eyes out of annoyance, Sephiroth sighed. "So be it. Capture the town. If you have _any_ issues, you _will_ report them to me so that the entire mission will not be a loss."

"Fine," Strife agreed with a nod before leaving. These little meetings never lasted long after someone gave up. It was getting harder to deny that Sephiroth was _always_ the one to give up. Apparently, Strife's will was unbreakable.

* * *

Cloud stalked back to his tent with an aura of rage around him. By now people were used to this and cleared a path for him lest they wind up in his sights. Even Col Hallowitz avoided Cloud like the plague. The blond had a reputation as fearsome as the General in under a week. Perhaps even more fearsome because at least they didn't fear Sephiroth turning his sword on his comrades like they did about Cloud.

The few attacks that had happened over the week had proven Cloud a fighter par excellence. By now the SOLDIER 1sts were having trouble keeping up.

He flopped onto his bedroll and glared at the fabric of the tent above his head. His fingers itched to pick up his PHS and call Zack, but the guilt of ruining the other boy's sleep more often lately was creeping up on him. Zack never minded, but Cloud felt terrible when he heard the fatigue in Zack's voice. Instead, he had changed his ringtone to something loud and obnoxious so that he would never miss one of Zack's calls even if it meant less sleep for Cloud.

* * *

Bored, he decided to sleep anyway to pass some time. The second he slipped into unconsciousness, he started to dream. But this time something was different.

Cloud looked around in confusion. He hadn't had a lucid dream since being sent back. Around him, the Lifestream curled and rippled. Tiny green wisps tickled his cheeks as it reached out to him.

"Aeris?" Cloud asked out loud in a cautious voice. Suddenly, something felt strange.

There was no answer and the Lifestream just continued to circle him. He tried calling out again before it finally hit him what was strange. He'd never been able to talk in the Lifestream before.

His eyes flicked around wildly in panic as terror began to set in. Things weren't right. The Lifestream didn't carry the calm feeling it usually did. He could hear his heart thudding in time with the rhythmic pulse of the green; much faster than normal on both accounts.

 

> _"Cl—,"_ a voice started behind him.

He spun around and found himself face to face with Aeris.

Only... It wasn't Aeris.

Her face was the same, but something was just _different_. Her eyes were much brighter green; it reminded him of the Lifestream around them, mako, and Sephiroth all at once. Her hand was extended toward him and her mouth was open in a small frightened 'o'.

Panic surged through him again as he reached out towards her hand. His own went right through her as though she was nothing more than illusion.

Tears were streaming down her face and they too were bright green. It was like she was crying mako. The roots and tips of her loose brown hair were actual wisps of the Lifestream, as though her hair was just another flow in the current. All of her just _glowed_. Cloud felt awestruck and horrified at the same time.

Inside, he tried to push away the feelings of unease directed at Aeris. Why would he be unsettled by her? That made no sense.

His eyes were fixed on hers as she tried to speak again but this time she was the one who couldn't speak. He could feel that she was trying to tell him something desperately, but couldn't say it.

"What is it? Please, tell me!" he begged as he tried to reach out for her again. Her hand just trembled as his passed through it again.

Suddenly, she reared back and grabbed at her hair as though in pain. Lunging forward, he tried to grab her and pull her to him but still could not touch her no matter how hard he tried. No matter how _badly_ he needed to help her.

Her eyes met his one final time as she faded into darkness that quickly overtook the dream. Her lips mouthed one word: ' _Help'_.

* * *

Cloud's eyes snapped open and he sat up as his heart raced in his chest. His breath came in harsh pants and his eyes were slitted. He wove a hand through his hair and gave a short tug to try and ground himself. Nothing seemed to work as his soul just burned as though it had been wounded by the dream.

What the hell was that? It couldn't have been just a figment of his imagination, could it? Aeris _couldn't_ be dead yet. She was supposed to be in the slums still. And that wasn't her anyway. Or at least Cloud didn't think so. But she looked almost _identical_ to Aeris, so why he was convinced it wasn't her he didn't even know.

Inside of him, his heart warmed slightly as the piece of her tried to soothe him. His hand clutched at his chest gratefully. She was still _there_. So then she couldn't be in the Lifestream. Not yet. Not ever if he got his way. It must have been a nightmare or she would be more worried inside him now. The little light that made up her soul was just as serene as ever as it worked to calm Cloud down.

He fell back against the bed and realized that he was still seeing green. His eyesight was entirely tinged in green. In fact, his limbs felt heavy too. Cloud wasn't even in his tent anymore.

The best look around he could manage, without turning his suddenly locked up neck, showed him to be in a hospital room of some sort.

_Oh._

Cloud was entering the poisoning stage.

A seizure overtook his body after that and Cloud could only stare at the ceiling of the unknown room as his body betrayed him.

An alarm sounded from the equipment next to him and a few men rushed in to see what was happening. Cloud couldn't even focus on them as the shaking was beyond his control. Someone shouted and he felt several all grab onto him in an attempt to hold him down. Cloud managed to get control of his eyes long enough to see that one of the men in a _lab coat_ was about to inject him with something.

Reacting instinctively, Cloud wrenched his other arm up, throwing the man who had been restraining that arm over the bed, and punched the man with the needle hard enough to shatter his jaw. His legs gained coordination and he kicked out; dislodging another man as his foot connected with his fragile ribcage.

Finally noticing the IV already in his arm, he yanked it out and attempted to crawl out of the bed. He couldn't let this happen again. He wouldn't be a lab rat for two fucking lifetimes.

His feet barely touched the icy tile floor when what felt like a freight train slammed into his back. He thrashed in the hold around his middle as he was forced back onto the bed. A flash of silver hair was all it took to send Cloud over the edge completely.

With an inhuman snarl, Cloud elbowed Sephiroth in the gut with all his strength. The older man grunted and withdrew a bit; just enough for Cloud to turn around his hold and get a hold on Sephiroth's throat. He squeezed and squeezed and for a moment it looked like Cloud might actually kill the other man. His eyes were a wild green and his pupils slitted so narrow that he could barely see. All he knew was that Sephiroth was there and Cloud needed him _dead_.

Fortunately for Sephiroth, another seizure came on and Cloud crumpled to the ground.

* * *

Momentarily stunned, Sephiroth just stood with a hand to his bruised but healing neck. It took a doctor's frantic plea for Sephiroth to realize he was still supposed to be aiding them. He used Strife's sudden seizure to grab the smaller man and throw him back on the medical bed. He used his whole body weight to press the blond down so the doctor to administer the anticonvulsant and the insane amount of sedatives it took to stop Strife from fighting back.

After a few tense moments, Strife slipped back into the same unconsciousness he'd been in for the last six days.

Sephiroth looked down at the now relaxed blond with a frown. The younger man was no ordinary SOLDIER anymore. Whatever Hojo had done to him had changed the blond for good. The grip that Strife exerted on his neck should have snapped the bones and crushed the windpipe of any other man but Sephiroth, and Strife hadn't even looked like the hold was taxing to keep up. If one figured in that he was still weak from a week of mako poisoning, then the exact limit of Strife's strength was truly terrifying.

"At least he's recovered from the worst of the poisoning," Sephiroth thought dryly to himself.

After their last argument, Strife had gone back to his tent and apparently slipped into poisoning as he slept. Another SOLDIER had heard the noises the blond was making in his sleep and alerted Sephiroth who found him with his eyes wide open and pupils entirely mako green. He had not responded to any sort of stimulation or attempts to wake him, so Sephiroth had him taken back to the makeshift hospital at the base to the East.

The doctors had found that Strife's mako levels weren't just well above what a SOLDIER 3rd should have, but that he was approaching complete blood-mako replacement at a pace so frightening that they had given him little under two days to live. Still, the blond endured for six. His blood had completely been eradicated by the 3rd day; something Sephiroth was tempted to believe was aided by all the blood samples the doctors insisted on taking.

Even running on pure mako, Strife had continued to live. He hadn't improved though and doctors changed their diagnosis only hours ago to a case of permanent mako-induced coma. Sephiroth had been trying to think of what to tell Angeal and Fair. Having Strife _die_ in Wutai hadn't been on the agenda when Sephiroth had requested his deployment. Luckily for him, it looked like he wouldn't need to tell them anything yet. They didn't even know; though Fair may be suspecting the worst given how many calls he placed to Strife's PHS with no answer.

The doctors removed the wounded staff and took them out for treatment. Strife was lucky he had been delusional, because he had most certainly done significant damage to the both of them.

"Nng," Strife groaned. Sephiroth raised his eyebrow at the blond. He had _just_ received those sedatives. "Ugh... Whu—"

"You're _awake?_ " Sephiroth asked incredulous.

"Where am I?" Strife suddenly asked in a sharp voice that was only slightly dulled by the effects of the sedatives on his tongue.

"The hospital at base. You're still in Wutai. Where did you think you were, to react like that?"

Strife's eyes finally opened and he fixed Sephiroth with a distrustful glare. At least his eye color was back to normal. "A laboratory."

"I can assure you, this is _not_ a lab. Those were doctors; not scientists. Perhaps you could try being a bit friendlier next time we try to save your life?"

Strife didn't answer and looked away.

"How... are you feeling?" he asked slowly.

"Like I got dunked in a mako tank."

"You've reached 100% mako, you know. And the doctors say there is some mutation going on inside your body. Whatever my cells have to do with your situation, they are no longer 'my cells'. Apparently there is some sort of change going on at the molecular level. As you can imagine, no one will explain this to me in terms that I can easily relate to you. The best they can do is tell me that your body took the cells injected and turned them into your own breed. I do believe they compared it to how viruses mutate into new strains," Sephiroth finished in a disgusted tone.

A look of consideration passed over Strife's face that Sephiroth found hard to read.

"I... see," Strife said at last. Sephiroth was filled with frustration at the lack of illumination at what the _hell_ was going on.

Unexpectedly, Strife lifted his hand and placed it on the aluminum rail of the medical bed. He closes his fist around it and, with a flex of his muscles, the thin metal was crushed. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the odd demonstration. Strife pulled his hand away and looked at his unharmed palm blankly.

"Get out."

Sephiroth reared back in shock at the command. "Excuse me? I've been—"

"Get _out_ ," Strife snarled in a tone so dark that Sephiroth realized the younger man was actually considering attacking him again. Frustrated, confused, and a small bit relieved, Sephiroth departed from the room. He had plenty of time to handle Strife's new set of issues when the blond felt a little more at ease.

* * *

Cloud wrapped his hand around the PHS on the bedside table and very carefully lifted it. He was still getting used to his returned strength and he'd be screwed if he crushed the delicate device. With the utmost care, he dialed Zack.

It didn't even get to ring more than once.

" _Cloud!? Cloud!?_ Is it you? Are you there? Cloud?" Zack's panicked and tear filled voice shouted through the PHS so loudly that Cloud actually had to hold it away from his extra sensitive ears.

"It's okay, Zack. I'm okay," he breathed when he finally got the chance. A muffled sob came over the other end.

"Where _were_ you? It's been six days, Cloud! I've called everyone in Wutai that I know, and no one could tell me anything more than that you needed to be taken the hospital on base. What happened?" Zack asked through the tears.

"I got a case of mako poisoning. They probably didn't want you to worry, Zack. They knew I'd get better," Cloud said as soothingly as his six-day unused voice could manage. Zack was still crying but it sounded like it was slowing down.

"I thought you were...," Zack started before stopping and then hiccupping slightly.

"I'm not going anywhere. I made a promise to you, remember?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, I do," Zack whispered softly. "Are you alright?"

"I'll... be fine. It's just going to take some time to get used to this," Cloud said while barely cutting off the word 'again'.

"Get used to what?"

"I've got no natural blood left. I'm all mako. It means a few things are going to change. But mostly, I mean the strength. I'm stronger now than I was before," he explained.

"Isn't that... a good thing?" Zack asked with a small sniffle.

"One would think," Cloud laughed roughly. He blinked a few times slowly before closing his eyes. "I'm so sorry for making you worry Zack. That seems like all I've been doing lately. But I swear, it's going to get better. I'm going to make it better. Just give me some more time."

"You've got me forever, Cloud. That's my promise to you."

* * *

It took a month for Cloud to be recovered enough for doctors to release him back to the field. They had found the unused syringes of diluted mako that Dr. Tannen had prescribed him and had gone through a period of believing he'd done this to himself through mako addiction. It took Sephiroth telling them they were entirely wrong to set them straight.

Now, things were finally back on track for a push on Suitae. The nature of Cloud's condition and its connection to his cells had forced Sephiroth to remain on base with him until he was cleared for release. Cloud was just pleased that, after more than a hundred different tests, the doctors were still clueless on the nature of Jenova cells.

"So how exactly _did_ you end up in charge of this, Strife?" a surly 1st asked as they traveled north.

"I'm the one who planned it," Cloud answered with a shrug. He had no reason to lie, and if Sephiroth was annoyed about it then all the better.

Cloud had very carefully decided _not_ to kill Sephiroth now that he felt he had a chance at succeeding. Killing the creation would just warn the creator to make more. Hojo would need to die first. Still, the silver General tested his nerves on a daily basis and Cloud often pondered if sparing him for so long was really necessary.

Back to the western canyon wall, Cloud used the reflection in his sword to see where the Wutai troops were in the mountain pass. There appeared to be about fifty or so, and of course plenty marksmen above, but those wouldn't be a problem for a 1st.

All twenty of them were decked in the standard SOLDIER 3rd gear; not that Cloud had anything different to wear anyway. A vibration of his PHS was the signal he was waiting for and he waved his hand in the direction they'd be heading before jumping out from behind the canyon wall and engaging the first line of Wutai soldiers.

The soldiers shouted and looked at them oddly before recognizing them as 3rds. They all backed up and Cloud's SOLDIERs all resisted the urge to use their enhanced speed to pursue. The marksmen rained arrows down on them, but they were able to fake their fear of being hit well enough while still dodging just barely.

Not long afterwards, a scout came running in to speak to the leader of the Wutai soldiers. Cloud watched as he sent off twenty of the small crew here to help in the South. He pulled the SOLDIERs back slightly and waited it out for the ones who left to get far enough away.

Satisfied, he gave the signal and they went all out. As the 1sts cut through the ones on the ground, Cloud pulled out the little red sphere he'd been carrying with him since Gongaga. With a regretful frown up at the marksmen, he extended his arm and pumped MP directly into the materia. The 1sts paused in their battles long enough to see Cloud with his arm held out, a bright red ball clenched in his fist, and the runes of a summon surrounding it.

Abruptly, the ground began to rumble. One after another, a look of disbelief and horror crossed the 1sts faces. Cloud looked at them and nodded his head in the direction of the far off end of the pass.

All of them, including Cloud, took off running at full speed. Sensing something amiss, the Wutai soldiers tried to follow but were unable to keep up with their enhanced speed. Above their heads, a huge crack sounded and a long black line appeared along the side of the wall that made up the south side of the mountain pass. Another loud crack and more lines formed, creating a frightening spider web. As if in slow motion, the pieces began to fall into the pass. The 1sts dodged left and right as the large chunks of rock and dirt crashed around them. Their speed allowed them to reach the end of the pass with just enough time to escape the landslide that completely filled it; crushing all of the Wutai forces within.

Cloud looked to Suitae and all the civilians rushing around it in a panic. His heart went out to them and all he could do was hope they evacuated before the rest of the army arrived.

* * *

Zack was once again partaking in his new favorite hobby: roaming Midgar in search of something and he didn't even know what it was. He'd picked up the odd quirk around the time that Cloud had gone off the radar for those few days during his mako poisoning. Angeal had thought Zack had completely gone batty, but Zack knew he was looking for something. Over the last month, he'd covered the entire plate looking, so now he was searching the slums.

His brain told him that he'd know what he was looking for when he found it, but he was starting to doubt that. After more than a month of looking, Zack felt like he should have had _some_ clue by now. And yet, he kept turning up blanks.

Today found him scouring Sector 6 of the slums. He was kicking the dirt as he dragged his feet. It had been hours and he _still_ had no more clues.

Passing a storefront he paused and looked into the window. Various ribbons were tied in perfect bows around the necks of mannequins. There were all assorted colors, but the pink one caught his eye. He knew he'd seen someone wearing one that was similar somewhere, but couldn't recall quite when or where.

Chocking it up to another unsolved mystery, he went to move on only to stop dead in his tracks. Coming out one of the stores was a girl about his age. She was dressed in a white and blue dress, but all he could see was the pink outfit she would one day be wearing while together with him and Cloud. Zack had found what he was looking for; _who_ he was looking for.

For the first time, he could finally remember her name and it connected to the memory of Cloud saying it in his sleep.

He breathed it in awe that he still didn't fully understand, "Aeris..."


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. All Zack POV. Time-skip, expect another of these soon (if you thought nothing happened in 1998, you should see 1999).
> 
> I'm sorry in advance for how little you get to see of the newly introduced SOLDIER. I know you're all on the edges of your seats.
> 
> Next Update: Oct. 9

Zack was dumbstruck by the sight of Aeris. His thoughts were all discombobulated as though seeing her had cast a mystify materia on him.

The first and strongest thought was, 'She's _alive_ '. He didn't know what made that so shocking, but apparently this was news to his second set of memories.

The second thought was about how damn beautiful she was.

Her chocolate brown hair was pulled back into a braid and lovely bangs framed her young face. Zack could see the green of her eyes from even as far back as he was standing. She was smiling and holding a bag of groceries in her arms. Her eyes were turned back to look at someone exiting the store behind her.

Feeling like a bucket of cold water had been dumped on his head, Zack's face crumbled as Reno followed her out. The redhead was wearing his usual ruffled black suit and smirk. A nightstick hung on a strap around his wrist and swung lazily as he moved.

Zack felt his lips curl into a snarl as he moved an arm around Aeris' shoulders and directed her though the crowd. A similar feeling of dislike filled him like when Reno was near Cloud. Zack didn't know all the facts about why this girl was important, but he knew that Reno should _not_ be near her. Furious, he stepped forward to follow them, but quickly realized that he had a better chance of getting to speak with Aeris if he wasn't caught by Reno first. It was with great care that he forced down the swelling anger and followed quietly.

They walked through to Sector 5 before arriving at a large church. Zack was surprised to see such a sight in Midgar, let alone the slums. It was falling apart, but he could still see an unusual beauty about it. Somehow, it fit Aeris perfectly.

Luckily for him, Reno chose to say his goodbyes at the door and Aeris went inside alone. He was suddenly excited at the prospect of seeing— _meeting_ —her. As soon as Reno was out of sight, he crept up to the church and prepared to push open the large doors.

"Ah. Ah. Ahh," a voice crooned from behind him. Zack clenched his teeth and turned to glare at the annoying redhead. "Ya didn' _actually_ think you could stalk a Turk, did ya?" Reno purred with a swing of his nightstick.

"What's it to you? I'm just trying to see a friend," Zack ground out.

"Oh yeah? Well she's never mentioned ya."

"Does she have to tell you everything?" Zack asked with no small amount of bite. His hand was still clenched tightly around the door handle of the church. There was no way Reno was going to stop him now; not when he was so close.

"Why don'tcha tell me what yer here for an—" Reno didn't get a chance to finish as the door was pulled open behind Zack. He leapt away slightly as Aeris stuck her head out and tilted it.

"Oh... Hi!" she said brightly in greeting to Zack.

With as happy of a smile as he could manage, he said back to her, "Hey, Aeris. Mind if you call off your guard dog here? I was just telling him I'm a friend of yours." She blinked once as she processed this before nodding joyfully.

"It's okay, Reno. I know him," she said a little too sweetly at the redhead for Zack's liking. Still, either she knew Zack too or she was playing along and he was grateful.

"I don't know, sis. This guy—"

"It's _fine_ , Reno," she said only slightly firmer, but Zack could hear the unspoken command as much as he could see it in her gorgeous green eyes. Finally, Reno shrugged and left without another word. Zack was just happy to see him leave. Aeris watched his back for a moment, tilting her head further to see him round the corner before she looked back at Zack and smiled. "Come on in!"

He grinned as she moved aside and let him walk right into the church. He stopped as his eyes fell on the middle of the room where a large patch of _flowers_ were growing. Zack couldn't say if he'd ever seen a flower, let alone one that was growing, in Midgar. They distracted him as he approached and got a closer look.

Upon closer inspection, Zack was shocked to find they were the _same_ flowers from his dreams! This had to be proof that whatever was going on with him had a reason that didn't lead back to him being crazy.

"So... who are you?" Aeris asked as she approached him from the side.

Zack grimaced a bit from the sadness that came over him when he realized she didn't know him, but managed to perk up in time to answer. "I'm Zack Fair, nice to meet you!"

She smiled and clasped her hands behind her back as she leaned in and inspected his face. "I don't think we've met, have we?"

"Well, we met just now," he said with a confused smile and a tilt of his own head.

"You knew my name. And you weren't with Reno... so you're probably not bad. But only probably," she mused as she placed a finger next to her mouth in contemplation.

"I'm not bad at all. You see the thing is...," he started before trailing off. How exactly did one _explain_ something like this? Up till now, Zack had been hoping that finding the thing he was looking for would yield instant answers, but if Aeris didn't know him then that wasn't likely to happen.

"The thing is...?" she encouraged with a giggle. Zack was overcome with the desire to just spill his soul. Something told him that she'd understand.

"I've been... dreaming about you," he said slowly before smacking his forehead harshly. That sounded like the worst pick-up line ever. "Uh... I don't mean that in a weird way. I mean it literally."

Aeris giggled again and covered her smiling mouth.

"Hey come on," Zack laughed as well. "I'm being serious. This has been a big mystery for me, and I'm finally getting close to solving it."

"No, no. I believe you, but you're just so silly. I wouldn't laugh if you didn't doubt what you were saying. So, go on. You've been dreaming about me, and?" she said sweetly even as she grinned in good humor. Zack couldn't help but smile too.

"About you and my boyfriend, Cloud."

Aeris blushed slightly and giggled again. Zack rubbed a hand over his face and groaned, "Not in any dirty way!"

Apparently, Aeris found his suffering quite amusing as she had to suppress her laughter as she responded, "Okay. I'll try to be serious. Just try to explain a little more so it doesn't sound so bad."

"We're always in a field of flowers," he explained. That caught her attention as she focused a little more. " _These_ flowers. And I've been having these dreams for so long now. Hell, they're not even really dreams so much as memories. But you just said, we've never met. So how can I see things that never happened?"

She looked like she was thinking heavily as she pressed her closed hand to her mouth again. Zack was again drawn to her green eyes, which were narrowed in contemplation. She was so pretty that Zack wondered if he'd like her if he wasn't already taken. He was almost certain that he would.

"Hmm... That.. doesn't make any sense," she said while hitting her fist to an open palm lightly. Zack furrowed his eyebrows and frowned a little.

"So you don't know anything?" he asked, disappointed. She shook her head sadly.

"No, not really. You said you dreamed of your boyfriend too, so maybe he knows something more?"

"I can't ask him. I don't want him to think I'm nuts if he doesn't know anything. Plus, if he does, I don't want to trouble him anymore. He works so hard as it is."

Aeris suddenly reached out a hand, with a curious look in her eyes. Her hand paused right by his cheek, reflexively he pulled away before stopping. With a small nod, he let her touch him. She cupped his cheek and he closed his eyes at the feel of her warm palm. A moment later, her other hand cupped his other cheek. His eyes cracked open to find her with her own closed in concentration.

"I can... hear something inside you. A piece of the planet? No... a person. Oh...," she breathed in a perplexed voice.

"What? What do you hear? Hell, _how_ do you hear?" Zack asked in a worried tone. What the hell did all that mean?

"You've got Lifestream inside you. Someone fused with you. I think... but that can't be possible."

"What?!"

"I think that it's _you_."

Zack's eyebrow rose in puzzlement. "What do you mean? There's only one me, right?"

"One would think," she muttered as her brow creased in deeper thought. "No. It's definitely you. What did you say your boyfriend's name was?"

"Cloud. Cloud Strife."

She finally opened her eyes and looked at him gravely. "I don't... know what this means. Could you bring him here? If you're dreaming of him too, then he must be connected somehow."

"He's in Wutai," Zack said sadly as his head hung dejectedly. "How do you know all this anyway?"

Aeris drew back suddenly and crossed her arms over here chest protectively. "I—I can't tell."

Zack reached an hand out and placed it on her shoulder. His body just _needed_ to comfort her. She accepted the contact but she still looked at him strangely. He wondered what she saw inside of him. "Hey, it's alright. We've all got our secrets. You've already told me more than I thought I'd find out today. I've just got to figure it out from here."

"We've got to figure it out," she corrected lightly. "If you're dreaming about me too, then I'm involved. Besides, you won't be able to interpret everything he's trying to tell you."

"He?"

"The other you. He's trying to get you to put yourself back together. It's...," she paused as she searched for the right word, "probably going to change you."

"Change me?" Zack asked solemnly. Somehow, that didn't surprise him. He just hoped that the person it turned him into was someone Cloud could still love, because it was getting harder to stay 'him' as things were anyway. Zack could see the changes already happening.

"Mhm. Don't worry. He's still you, so it's not much. But he's much more serious. If he's here at all... Well nothing good could have happened," she said with a shiver and she tightened her arms around herself some more.

"But how did I end up with two of me inside myself? That doesn't make any—," Zack stopped abruptly as he remembered the feeling he felt when he and Cloud met. "He came from Cloud?" Zack whispered in confusion.

"Huh?" Aeris asked.

"This other me. I think I know where he came from. When I met my boyfriend for the first time, I got really dizzy like something had just passed through me."

Aeris frowned a little. "So... Your boyfriend brought him to you? Is he... different too?"

"Different?"

"Well if he brought this other you with him, then he can't be quite normal, can he?"

"I mean, he's one hell of a fighter. He's so smart too. Sometimes I wonder if he knows everything or if he's just making stuff up to impress me. And he's brave. Pretty much take everything the best person you know is and then amplify it a few times, and you've got Cloud."

"Can he... hear things?" she asked tentatively.

"Like what?"

She shifted from foot to foot before whispering, "The Planet?"

Zack blinked a few times before thinking about it. He'd never heard Cloud mention anything about that, but it possibly _could_ be one of Cloud's many secrets. "Maybe? I don't know. I try not to pry."

Aeris nodded firmly before spinning towards him and setting her hands on her hips. "You'll just have to bring him here then! We'll get to the bottom of this together. And then you can be whole again," she said sweetly as she bent down and picked a flower. She offered it to him and he took it. It was so fragile in his hands but he was comforted by the scent of it. It was a familiar scent.

"Thank you, Aeris," he whispered. She smiled gently and leaned in close.

"You're welcome. Now turn that frown upside down. I won't have my new friend looking so miserable," she said with a stamp of her foot. Zack grinned as he buried his worries; they could wait.

* * *

Coming to the church in the slums became Zack's new favorite thing to do in his free time. Without anything left to search for in Midgar, he certainly had nothing _else_ to do. Angeal had been tied up more than ever since Lt. General Rhapsodos got back. What little time he had he often had to split between Zack and the Lt. General.

At first, Angeal had tried to introduce them, but, as Zack quickly learned, Lt. General Rhapsodos was a hard man to get along with.

* * *

" _Ah, so you must be Angeal's little student. Somehow, I thought you'd be more interesting at first sight. A pity," the bored-looking redhead said with barely a glance in Zack's direction. He returned to reading the book in his hands almost immediately._

_"Uh, sir!" Zack blurted as he snapped to attention._

_"Come on, Genesis. No need to be rude. Zack shows a lot of progress. One day, he'll be standing shoulder to shoulder with us and leading the next generation through SOLDIER while we sit back and file paperwork," Angeal said with a laugh as he shook Zack's shoulder to dislodge him from the formal stance. Zack just grinned sheepishly at the praise._

_"I will personally make sure this building is in ashes before they try to relegate me to something so menial. They would write stories about the height of the blaze for the next hundred years, my friend," Genesis spat in a disgusted tone, as though Angeal had touched a nerve. "It may come to that yet, in fact."_

_Angeal frowned ominously next to Zack and all he could do was look back and forth between the two officers._

_"You've been in Wutai for almost a year, Genesis. It was time to come home."_

_"And now, Sephiroth will get all of the glory as they break the last holds between Shinra and the capital."_

_Angeal sighed and ran a hand over his face. Zack got the feeling that this was a common discussion since the Lt. General returned home. He almost felt sorry for Angeal; this guy didn't seem the type to ever be pleased._

_"The war has been going for six years, Genesis. Somehow, I don't think that Wutai is going to just surrender in the next month. If you're so hell bent and determined to get back there then put in a request. I'm sure you'll get back a few more times before it's all said and done. Can't you just enjoy being back for a little while? I was hoping you'd come down to the VR room so we could show Zack a thing or two."_

_Genesis looked up from his book and fixed Angeal with an annoyed stare. Zack was feeling a few twinges of a buried memory again. He was starting to wonder if there was_ _**anything** _ _that didn't remind him of something or other. But something about Genesis left him uneasy; though not necessarily angry or afraid. He just got a feeling that this man could be volatile._

_"Come now, Angeal. I'm sure you're doing an outstanding job alone with your 'Pup'. Do leave me out of it," he said with a small push of his hair to get it out of his eyes._

_"How many times can you read that damned poetry before even_ _**you** _ _get sick of it?" Angeal asked dryly._

_"Infinite in mystery is the gift of the Goddess, my friend."_

* * *

Zack didn't need a crystal ball to see that Genesis didn't seem to consider him worth his time. Though, for as cold as he could be to Angeal, he didn't seem to keen on sharing his friend either. Zack had seen very little of Angeal for some time now. It was somewhat depressing, but with Aeris around now he wasn't all that lonely. Besides, he had plenty of friends in SOLDIER now.

It hadn't taken long to grow close to almost all of his SOLDIER 3rd peers. Cloud being in Wutai had made things a little easier. Many of them made it clear that Cloud was kind of an intimidating guy and that they found it hard to socialize with Zack while he was around. Zack wasn't sure he liked the sound of that on Cloud's behalf, but even he had to admit that Cloud sometimes threw some pretty deadly glares when people pissed him off. And there was no way faster onto Cloud's bad side then to inadvertently flirt with Zack or upset him even a little.

Zack found it kind of cute, but the other 3rds took it as a sign to just stay away. Of course, he didn't bother mentioning to Cloud on their nightly calls about how many offers he'd been getting since his boyfriend had left for war. Apparently, just because they couldn't _see_ his boyfriend, some people figured he didn't have one anymore. Zack was quick to set them straight.

Cloud had been in Wutai for three and a half months when he called Zack one night to inform him he'd been given a promotion to Second class. Zack wasn't surprised, what with Cloud's hard work in the war, but he felt a small amount of frustration at his own situation. With little to no missions in Midgar, he was beginning to feel like he was never going to make Second and Cloud could be a First before the war was even finished.

Cloud was racking up honors and medals in Wutai like no one's business. He never seemed to be all that excited about it when he mentioned it to Zack. Sometimes he didn't even tell him, and Zack found out from Angeal, who reported on it with glowing pride every time. It was obvious to Zack that Cloud's emotional stake in the war was little to none, but he kept doing his job nevertheless.

Cloud had led the successful capture of Suitae and then participated in the capture of Kaisk, to the North, not long after that. The Wutai forces had deadlocked them there once again and still managed to keep the two roads to the capital securely defended.

Now it was creeping up on five months that he'd been in Wutai and Zack was slowly withering from the longing he felt. Only a few more months and they'd have been apart longer than they'd been together. The pillows and sheets had long lost his scent and Zack had all but forgotten what he smelled like. It was a small mercy that his dreams were so vivid, because it allowed him to see his lover if only for a little while.

Over the many months that Cloud had been gone, Zack was learning how to cope with being two people at the same time. Now that he knew without a doubt that that's what was happening, he understood the feelings a little more. Stuff that didn't bother _him_ sometimes bothered the other Zack. Aeris explained that it was because they had lived different lives. Zack still wasn't sure what that meant exactly, and Aeris was still being mum.

Not all of it was bad though. He discovered a distinct love of the heartier foods from the northern part of the Western continent that he'd never even known before. He'd managed to find a very small Nibel region restaurant on the plate that he'd come to love. He couldn't wait to take Cloud there when he got back.

Even better than that, his sword work was improving greatly the more he became in tune with this other him. It appeared that 'Zack-the-second', as he'd come to call him, was pretty damn good with heavier swords. In fact, Zack hadn't even been able to find a sword heavy enough to satisfy his urge to fight with one. Every time he got a hold of a heavier one than the last he wielded it felt a little better, but just not right yet. Every now and then he cast envious eyes at Angeal's Buster Sword, which looked absolutely _perfect_ weight-wise.

* * *

Zack was walking around the slums with Aeris again today. They were laughing and holding hands every now and then. Zack never bothered resisting the urge to do so; somehow he knew Cloud wouldn't mind. Though he still hadn't told Cloud he'd found Aeris yet. The fear of distracting him while he was fighting in Wutai kept him from blurting it out in all these months; even the other half of him agreed.

"If you stay much later, you'll end up taking the train with all those weird people again, you know. You'll probably end up getting pick pocketed again," Aeris said with a mischievous smile. Zack could tell she found his lacking street smarts amusing.

"It was _one_ time, jeez," Zack pouted.

"Mm, maybe. But you're still pretty bad at telling when you're making yourself a target," she said with a small twirl away from him.

"Not so! I've been watc—," he stopped mid sentence as she grinned and held up his wallet while giving it a little wave. " _That_ is not _fair_!"

"Sure thing, Mr. SOLDIER. Now catch me if you can," Aeris taunted, sticking out her tongue before turning and running. Zack laughed as he broke out into a casual run after her.

She may not have been a SOLDIER with enhanced speed, but she was certainly better at navigating the twisting slums than he was, so she stayed in a comfortable lead. He jumped over various obstacles that appeared at the last second as she danced around them. Sometimes she managed to get so far ahead that the only clue he had was the flash of her long brown hair darting around a corner.

He loved spending time with her. She managed to make his days brighter no matter how depressed he was getting from not seeing Cloud for so long. With Cloud's birthday approaching, it was only getting worse.

Part of him was excited to bring them together too. He knew Aeris must be important to Cloud too or else he wouldn't have said her name in his sleep. Any fear that she would be ill-received by him was squashed by the glow in his soul from Zack-the-second when he thought about the two of them together.

They raced all the way to the train station, and, when they finally stopped, Aeris was panting slightly from the run. She was still smiling though. Her joyful nature was one of the things Zack enjoyed most about her. Even though she could be a crafty little thing. She was very good at convincing him to do things without much effort. When she gave a suggestion he felt the compulsion to obey as if it was an order from one of the Generals.

The pink ribbon from the store was perfectly in place in her hair now. It was one of the first things Zack had done, to buy the ribbon, when he and Aeris started spending more time together. She just hadn't looked right without it, and now everything was perfect.

The train arrived and Zack made to say his goodbyes before boarding.

"I'll catch you later, alright?" he said with a smile.

Aeris raised an eyebrow and grinned a little. "Okay. Just watch your wallet, Zack."

Zack laughed and pulled her into a hug that she returned easily. "Yeah, yeah. I got it. You're the only one I need to worry about. Using my trust to rob me blind; how could you?"

"You trust too easily," she murmured half-serious, half-joking while pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. He paused and sobered a little.

"Maybe. But that's what makes me, _me_."

"I know. Don't ever change, Zack," she whispered while pulling away.

He nodded and gave a final soft smile as he got on the train. Sometimes their conversations just ended so seriously despite the light mood. He knew she was talking mostly to the other side of him, because she often seemed to be trying to heal what was broken in Zack-the-second. From what she said, he would never be whole till he could put the pieces back together. While _he_ may not be broken, his other half definitely was. It was sad and caused Zack no small amount of internal turmoil, but it made him all that much more determined to solve the mystery.

* * *

The walk home was long and by the time he stumbled into the Shinra building, he was more than a little tired and hungry. He was taking the elevator up to his apartment and already his good mood was deflating. The idea of another lonely night in front of the TV with some take-out was depressing. He hadn't bothered cooking since about the first month that Cloud was gone.

Cooking had been a pleasurable activity from the time that he and Cloud had gotten their apartment as cadets. Cloud had shown very quickly that, while he was good at almost everything else, he just could _not_ cook to save his life. Zack had been all but raised in the kitchen and loved it. Cloud had always enjoyed watching him cook when they weren't too tired to bother, and Zack loved the feeling of feeding his boyfriend. Sometimes he thought to himself in amusement that he'd make a good house-wife. A small miracle had been that Cloud was alright with cleaning; something Zack avoided like the plague. They got to divvy up the jobs easily because of that.

He walked down the hallway briskly and slid his ID in the door to open his apartment. With a sigh he pushed open the door and walked inside. With a sad frown at the dark apartment, he slipped off his shoes and pulled off his shirt before tossing it in the small pile not far from the door. He'd have to do laundry soon, and that just sucked.

He barely made it two steps past the entrance before he whirled back around and stared blankly at the extra set of boots by the door. They were heavily banged up and looked like they had spent... several months in constant use.

His hands were shaking as he continued to stare at the boots, even as he heard footsteps coming from the door to the bedroom. A creak of wood cut through the apartment and Zack flinched slightly and kept trembling.

"Hey, Zack," Cloud whispered in a tone so low and so longing that Zack's heart all but shattered in that instant.

He didn't get to say anything as he threw himself across the apartment and into Cloud's arms; his throat wouldn't work. Cloud's arms wound around his waist incredibly gently, but Zack was holding onto his lover for dear life. A few tears spilled out of his eyes in sheer joy, but he paid them no mind as he just buried his face in the crook of Cloud's neck and _inhaled_. Sweet Gaia, he smelt so damn good.

"You—you didn't tell me you were coming home!" he choked out when he could finally force his mouth to work.

"I figured I'd surprise you. Besides, they didn't give me much notice. Sephiroth just decided to send me back alone; the rest of the SOLDIERs are still in Wutai. I think it was his version of a birthday present. Not that I'm complaining," Cloud said with a small break in his own voice. He was clearly as happy to see Zack as Zack was to see him. But he was still being so gentle; almost _too_ gentle. Like he was afraid that Zack would break.

Zack finally pulled back to press a desperate kiss to Cloud's lips. Their tongues tangled and it was _heaven_. He'd needed to do this for almost five months.

Cloud was the one to pull back and Zack was mildly shocked to see how damn bright Cloud's eyes were. They glowed as brightly as Sephiroth's now. Still, they were so much more welcoming and warm than the frightening cat-eyes that the General possessed.

Cloud frowned a little and leaned in to sniff at Zack oddly. It wasn't in the same romantic fashion Zack had done and suddenly he blushed at the fear of needing a shower.

"Uh... I can go take a shower if—"

"You met her," was all Cloud said as he stared Zack fully in the face. _Oh_. He could actually smell Aeris on him. Not too surprising; she always smelled wonderfully like her flowers. But Zack was worried about the blankness of Cloud's expression. He thought, _all_ of him thought, he'd be happy to hear about it.

"Yeah. I... guess it's about time I told you everything, huh?"

Cloud looked startled and then almost terrified as he tightened his arms around Zack. "Everything?" he asked in a quiet but no less serious tone. Zack's heart was beginning to speed up in fear. What if Cloud was angry with him? Would he leave Zack for keeping everything a secret?

"I... Are you angry?" he asked in a tiny voice colored with his growing fear. Cloud's eyes widened and he forcibly relaxed before pulling Zack back into an embraced.

"Never. I'll never be angry at you, Zack. Just tell me what happened."

"I went looking for Aeris after you got poisoned. I don't know why, and I didn't even know I was looking for _her_ exactly. All I knew was that what I needed to find was in Midgar. When I found her in the slums I recognized her from... some dreams I've been having since meeting you. Then I just _knew_ her name, and I remembered you saying it in your sleep once. We had never met, but it was like I'd known her all my life. Since we met, we've been spending a lot of time together," he explained while looking down at his twiddling thumbs like he was ashamed. He felt bad suddenly for keeping this all from Cloud, even though he still felt it was a good idea.

"Since the first time you and I met, Cloud, I've been different. It's not... a bad thing exactly, but I was starting to think I was losing my mind. I've had two sets of memories and the second set was just getting so strong. Aeris says I have a second 'me' inside. I know that sounds crazy—"

"It doesn't sound crazy at all, Zack," Cloud murmured.

"Yeah well, it doesn't sound normal either. I still don't understand what's happening, but I'm not scared anymore. I've gotten used to Zack-the-second, that's what I call him," he said and smiled as Cloud rolled his eyes at the name. "Hey, it's easier to keep track like that. But anyway, I know now that this other me came from you, so... do you know anything about it?"

"I never knew it was this serious, Zack. I had a feeling you'd be feeling something, but I never knew it would be just like—," Cloud paused and looked down before continuing, "Just like what happened to me the first time. Trust me, I know what it's like to have two sets of memories that don't match up. I've lived with a set since I was... younger."

Zack steeled himself as he asked the question he'd been wondering about for so long, "From my dreams... you don't look younger at all, Cloud. We look _older_. What happened to us?" Cloud's jaw clenched as his eyes darted around. Zack could see him fighting with himself inside about whether he could answer the question. Zack grabbed Cloud's hand and covered it lovingly with his own before smiling comfortingly. "It's okay, Cloud. I can handle it. I won't break. I promise."

"I—you... We died, Zack. We died. Everyone died. And... I was given a chance to change it. That's why I'm here. I'm changing things. Fuck, I'm changing things _right now_ , by tell you this. I didn't think... I didn't think you would start to remember what happened before. Those dreams are, were, the future," Cloud explained as best he could. It was clear that it was one of the hardest things he'd ever been asked to say.

Zack nodded slowly. "Yeah, I kind of figured. And Aeris is?"

"Your ex-girlfriend. My... ex-fiancée."

"That's... a lot of exes. Me and Aeris, _really_?" he couldn't help but ask incredulous. He had to admit, if that was true then he'd gotten lucky in love for two lifetimes. "Wait. _You_ and _Aeris_ were _engaged_?!"

Cloud shifted around slightly before nodding. "Yeah. You were...," he said softly before swallowing and stopping.

It suddenly clicked. Zack must not have lived that long. No wonder Cloud was so damn protective of him. Zack frowned sadly and placed his hand on Cloud's cheek. How much pain did Cloud go through? He hoped that things were better this time, if nothing else.

"So... why not her?" He needed to know.

"I... I love you both equally, Zack. I could never say who I love more, because you were the loves of my life. You _are_ the loves of my life. But, I can't have you both, can I? You and I were together first, and when I found you again I couldn't stay away. Honestly, I always figured you and her would fall back in love. You two always... fit each other very well. The first thing she noticed about me when she and I were together was how much I was like you. To try to hold onto the both of you would just be selfish. You've been spending time with her now, so I can't even be sure...," Cloud trailed off while looking away. Zack could see the tension in his shoulders as Cloud prepared himself for heartbreak.

"I love you, Cloud," Zack whispered. "Whatever happens, we'll figure it out together, because you've got me forever. If... you'd be happier with her though, please don't be unhappy for my sake. Seeing you happy would be worth so much more to me."

Cloud looked back to him finally and smiled very softly. "Together, then," he said quietly as he took Zack's hand again and brought it to his lips to kiss. And for the first time in almost five months, every single piece of Zack was purely happy.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Swearing.
> 
> The earlier chapters are ALL getting structure edits as of recently. If a scene is being added, I will make mention of it when it happens, but until then it's just being edited for clarity.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 11

It didn't take them long after finally settling down from the emotional high of seeing each other again for their bodies to realize they had been apart for five months. As much as Cloud wanted to spend the whole evening discussing the matters at hand, because that was all very _important_ , he wasn't shocked to discover he wanted to spend the whole evening bedding his lover even more.

Zack had no complaints at all as Cloud's expression turned seductive and he was pulled quite quickly off to the bedroom. He laughed as Cloud tugged at his hand, with an almost sly smile on his face. All of these worries could wait till tomorrow.

* * *

They were laying in bed hours later, tangled in the sheets, and Zack draped more over Cloud than anything else. He was tracing nonsense patterns on his lover's flawless skin. Cloud hadn't earned a single scar to go with all those honors. It was surprising to see that they had caught back up in height again over these months. Zack hadn't noticed a growth spurt, but apparently it had happened because their legs were now sitting bare inches from the end of the bed.

"Are you getting a new apartment?" he asked softly, moving his softened blue eyes to Cloud's tranquil face. "Because you're a Second now?"

Cloud just nodded slowly and looked back at Zack.

"Can... I come with you?" Zack had been worrying about this since he heard that Cloud had earned SOLDIER 2nd. Zack was at least a few more months off a promotion and, technically, he still belonged on this floor with the other SOLDIER 3rds; Cloud would be moving to a private apartment several levels higher. He'd also be making a lot more money now and being issued much more far-flung assignments. Zack knew without a shadow of a doubt that Cloud had earned the promotion fairly, but he couldn't help the slight envy he felt towards his boyfriend. He just hoped that he could catch up before Cloud was making First and being sent back to kick more ass in Wutai.

"They'd have to pry open the door and knock me unconscious if they wanted to take you away from me. And I'll let you in on a secret, knocking me unconscious is _very_ hard to do," Cloud said with a smirk and a kiss to Zack's hair.

"So how strong _are_ you now?"

"I'll show you later," Cloud said cryptically. Zack just nodded and pressed his cheek flat to Cloud's incredibly warm chest. The high mako content was enough to make Cloud feel more like a space heater than a human being. Zack didn't mind; he loved being warm.

A knock came out of nowhere and Cloud glared in the direction of the front door. Zack lifted his head and looked in the same direction in confusion. Who would be coming around at this time of night? They hadn't ordered any food, other priorities and such, so it wasn't that.

Cloud carefully, always so carefully now, moved Zack to the side and kicked off the sheets. He didn't bother with boxers as he pulled on his fatigues and buttoned them; he didn't bother with a shirt either. Zack wrapped the sheets around himself and leapt off the bed to peek around the bedroom door as Cloud left to go answer the front. His face peered around the wood to see Cloud yanking open the front door to reveal _Reno_. Zack growled before he could stop himself and Reno must have heard because he sent a mocking two-fingered salute his way in greeting.

"Yo, Strife. Welcome home, and, might I say, lookin' _good_."

"I'm going to kick your—," Zack started only to stop when Cloud cut him off.

"What?" Cloud demanded in a tone so cold Zack could have sworn the General was somewhere out there too.

"Well nice ta see ya too, asshole. Whatever, Rufus wants ya upstairs. So let's get movin'."

"Later."

"Nah. _Now_. Or I won' tell ya all about how much of a sweetheart yer Ma was when I came to vis—" Reno didn't get to finish as Cloud grabbed him by the shirt, _hauled_ him inside, and slammed the door closed. The redhead had a knife out and to Cloud's throat but Cloud had his forearm pressed so tightly to Reno's throat that Zack questioned his ability to breathe.

"You were in Nibelheim," Cloud stated, no emotion coloring his voice whatsoever despite the vicious reaction. Reno, for as much of a bad spot he was in, grinned widely and nodded as best he could from behind Cloud's arm. "Why?" Reno's eyes flicked down to Cloud's arm and Cloud let it up just enough for the redhead to take a breath.

"Yer really fuckin' jumpy, Cloud. One would'a thought the welcome home tumble would have loosened ya up. See some scary things in Wutai? Or maybe it's somethin' else...," Reno purred in a velvet tone. Cloud didn't react and Reno at least had the decency to look disappointed. "Alright, alright. How bout ya get dressed, I take ya to see yer brother, and _then_ we discuss the classified shit I'm offerin' to tell ya. Cause I really fuckin' don't have to."

Zack was dumbstruck for half a beat. _Brother?_ Cloud didn't have any siblings that he'd told Zack about. Cloud opened his mouth to respond, only to be beaten to the punch by Zack announcing, "We'll get dressed!"

"Yer not invited, brat. This is a cool kids only party. Maybe when yer older."

"No way! I'm comin—"

"You're staying, Zack. I'll handle this," Cloud said softly as he backed away from Reno. Zack knew his face must have been painted in disbelief and horror as Cloud brushed past him into the bedroom.

"But..."

"I know you're curious, Zack, but please let me take care of this alone. I don't need them having any ammo against me, and you'll just be a target if things go south. Call Angeal, let him know I'm back, and if I'm not home in two hours without calling, then let him know where I went."

Zack wasn't happy, but he did finally agree. He had to admit, having someone waiting to make sure Cloud made it back safe and sound was better than both of them getting sunk to the bottom of the ocean with no clues. It was incentive for them not to hurt Cloud if they knew it wouldn't go unnoticed. Still, he was sad that he couldn't help, and he _hated_ the idea of Cloud being alone with Reno. He was going to have to ask Cloud for some explanations as to why Zack-the-second was so jealous all the time.

Cloud left with Reno moments later, and Zack picked up the phone to get in touch with Angeal. He may not be able to charge into 'battle' with Cloud, but he could follow orders like a good SOLDIER.

* * *

Cloud walked shoulder to shoulder with Reno all the way up to Rufus' apartment. He reasoned that his office must be on the Turk floor, which made meeting there too conspicuous if he didn't want his other Turks knowing. It was vaguely amusing though; Rufus keeping secrets from his trained secret keepers.

The apartment was a mix of white, black, and splashes of blood red decor. Cloud snorted to himself. How fitting of them. He had to wonder which of the two had done the decorating.

Rufus was sitting on the couch in the middle of the room when they arrived and he stood to greet them. Reno didn't react as Cloud walked right up to the other blond, which was not overly surprising to Cloud; Rufus could protect himself just fine. Cloud grasped the extended hand and used it as leverage to force Rufus back against the couch; the gun Cloud had brought back from Wutai pressed right to his temple.

Rufus, of course, only smiled like this was exactly what he was hoping for, and Cloud heard the click of a safety getting turned off even before he felt the jab of Rufus' own handgun against his chest.

"Nice to meet you, Cloud. I'm glad that Reno's observation skills are as honed as he claims. You _are_ rather interesting. Our father's blood is evident in your looks. I trust the style is something you picked up from your mother?"

"Why were your Turks in Nibelheim?" Cloud didn't see any point in beating around the bush.

Rufus' smile turned both cruel and calculating. "Straight to the point; I can appreciate that. As I'm sure you are well aware, Professor Hojo took an inordinate amount of interest in you after seeing your reactions to his experimentation. After the _horrific_ accident in Kalm, he volunteered to treat the survivors in his Nibelheim lab. Do you know what he was looking for?"

Cloud's mouth just turned down at one side and he pressed the gun a little more insistently against Rufus' pale skin. He hated how coy the blue blood could play sometimes. At least Reno was blunt about fucking around with your head.

"He was looking for your rare blood type; O-. As you can imagine, he hoped it was a regional trait. He was sorely disappointed. You see, Hojo is being slow to piece together your not-so-mysterious origins. Insight into matters of common sense often eludes him. You and I share the same blood type, as does our father—"

" _Your_ father," Cloud correct harshly. Just because he was the monster's offspring didn't make him a 'son'.

Rufus just raised an eyebrow and smiled enigmatically before continuing, "And it remains as rare here as everywhere else. He won't find some pool of it in any region on Gaia. Therefore, we will become all that more interesting to him when he returns to Midgar. I have," Rufus paused with a frown that indicated severe distaste, "no immunity from his control over our, excuse me, _my_ father. You will similarly find it difficult to escape his reach. Not even your high-ranking protectors will be able to keep you safe forever."

"High-ranking protectors?" Cloud asked in a deadpan tone.

"Why Lt. General Hewley and the General, of course. Sephiroth was quite horrified on your behalf upon finding out about Hojo's return to Nibelheim. You _can_ relax, by the way, Reno was sure to keep Hojo from touching the townsfolk. Your little home is not only intact, but its residents unbesmirched."

Hearing what he was looking for, Cloud finally pulled back and removed the gun from Rufus' face. He spared Reno a glance and found the redhead leaning against a wall near the door, smoking and watching them with a heated stare. Cloud shook his head slightly at the redhead's reactions; trust Reno to have some sort of kink for this.

Rufus leaned forward and smiled mischievously at Cloud while saying, "Now, let's talk business."

"I'll kill your father for you if you agree to certain conditions when you become President," Cloud said bluntly.

Reno jerked forward slightly and, though he controlled everything else, Rufus' eyes widened slightly.

"...I see. And what would those conditions be?" he asked in a contemplative tone, but Cloud could already see the interest flooding him. His arms were covered in goosebumps.

"I'll tell you about them when we get there. Until then we have no business but for you to stay out of mine."

"And pray tell, how can I be sure that you are no threat to my company or my future in it? You and Sephiroth have been seen fighting already, though your stint at war may have changed things."

"Nothing has changed. Sephiroth isn't a priority to me right now, but Hojo and your father will need to die. You want them dead, I need them dead; that's the only thing that matters to either of us," Cloud stated with a shrug. No need to inform Rufus that Sephiroth could wait until after Hojo was dead.

"What do their deaths benefit you? I am reluctant to label you a Wutai national."

"I've got no connections to Wutai, though I'd like to see the war cut short. My interests are much greater."

"Like the Planet?" Reno asked eagerly behind Cloud.

"You could say that."

"So when ya said you were here to _change_ things, what the fuck did ya mean? Cause I don't believe in time travel, kid. Are ya an Ancient?" Reno demanded while stalking closer to Cloud. The blond just threw him an annoyed glare.

"You bugged my apartment." It was a statement, not a question.

"Of course I bugged yer fuckin' apartment. Ya think I stole yer fuckin' keycard to find out yer _shoe size_? Now answer the fuckin' questions." Cloud smirked at how much this must have been killing Reno inside. The redhead was far too curious for his own damn good. If he had more time, he'd use this chance to get some payback in, but today wasn't the day.

"I'm not an Ancient. I don't care what you believe. I'm here to change things. There's nothing more than that."

"And how exactly did ya get sent back in time, because, fuck, would'ya share that shit? There's some stuff I'd love ta go fix a few years back," Reno growled while his hands clenched and unclenched by his sides uselessly. Cloud could tell he wanted to doing something with them that involved violence.

"I have no idea. But you already knew I knew too much about you before we ever met, so why you find this so hard to believe, I don't know."

"And does this have anything to do with Hojo's search for this... 'promised land'?" Rufus asked while leaning back against the couch and raking his eyes up and down Cloud's form.

"No. The promised land doesn't exist. But mark my words, if you don't stay out of my way or help me, then you won't have a company left to inherit. I don't care how farfetched you find this; I can't change the truth."

Reno opened his mouth to say something more only to stop as Rufus held up a hand. "So be it. This is not something to be discussed in one meeting. We'll meet again soon and weigh our options. Until then, continue as you have been. Hojo will be returning to Midgar soon, but I am not ready for anything to happen yet. I will put my affairs in order behind the scenes so that there is no question of my inheriting this company upon my father's death. As it stands, if we move too quickly it could just as easily fall into the hands of another executive."

Cloud just nodded silently. He figured it end up like that. And when Rufus stuck his hand out to shake on it, Cloud accepted it this time. Their entirely similar eyes met once and Cloud wondered how he never noticed just how much they looked alike before. Maybe it was all that mirror dodging.

Reno let him out not long after that and Cloud returned home to a relieved Zack.

* * *

The next day brought another knock to the front door in the, far too early, morning. Zack actually let out a mock-sob at the noise and tried to forcibly keep Cloud in bed as he moved to answer it again. Still, he was left with nothing more than a ruffle to his hair as Cloud walked out to see who was disturbing them _this_ time.

"Welcome home, Cloud!" came Angeal's proud voice through the entire apartment. Zack suddenly grinned; Angeal wasn't usually so exuberant. Bounding out of bed, he pulled on his clothes in a rush to join his boyfriend and mentor in the living room. Angeal had Cloud locked in a tight hug and Zack was filled with all kinds of happiness at the sight of Cloud actually _returning_ it. Cloud looked pleased to see Angeal and seeing Cloud pleased about anything involving friends often left Zack feeling fuzzy in both halves of his soul.

"So I heard you made Second. You're supposed to get issued a new apartment today, you know."

"Yeah," Cloud said almost sheepishly as they pulled back from the hug.

"I'm proud of you. I thought you might need some help in packing up around here, so I dropped by. Hope it's not too early," Angeal said with a fond smile. Cloud and Zack would probably agree that it _was_ too early, but making Angeal's happiness last was more important.

"No, it's fine. Just let me throw on a shirt and we'll get to work," Cloud said while clapping Angeal on the shoulder and walking back to the bedroom. Zack was momentarily awed to see that Cloud was nearing their mentor's height. Something about the idea of them being able to look Angeal in the eye was exciting for Zack, who aspired to be everything Angeal represented. And Cloud now really carried himself like a SOLDIER; shoulders straight and head held high. He couldn't wait to see Cloud in his SOLDIER 2nd uniform; just the thought left him blushing.

They worked for the next few hours to pack up their stuff for the move. Angeal had given them the official go-ahead for Zack to move in with Cloud, much to their relief.

Zack had been packing up their kitchen when a shadow moved into their front door. With a curious glance, he looked over to find Lt. General Rhapsodos leaning in the doorway. He fixed Zack with a stare and raised one auburn eyebrow.

"Where is Angeal?"

"Uh... helping Cloud pack the closet?" Zack said slowly before adding, "Sir."

Genesis huffed and invited himself in. Zack just stared after him as he walked right into his and Cloud's bedroom. It only occurred to him a moment later about how incredibly rude that was. Something about Genesis left Zack too stunned to realize he should be offended until it was too late. Hopping up, he followed.

"—and why can't your little... _pups_ handle this on their own?" Zack heard as he entered the room.

"Because I want to see my students off on the next leg of their SOLDIER journey?" Angeal responded calmly without even looking at Genesis.

"I was under the impression only one of them made Second."

Zack actually flinched where he stood behind Genesis. Cloud looked up from his packing to send the redheaded Lt. General a dark glare.

"If you've got nothing helpful to add here, then get out," Cloud said firmly before returning to his packing. Genesis reared back in offense with a look of shock crossing his face at Cloud's lack of respect. Zack almost laughed but caught himself at the last minute.

"That's an interesting way to address your superior. Perhaps you're not ready for the _privilege_ of being a SOLDIER 2nd?" he snarled in Cloud's direction. Cloud didn't even bother gracing him with a response. The look in Genesis' eye grew even darker and Zack realized that Cloud must have known how to hit a nerve.

Finally, after a few minutes of being under the weight of that furious glare, Cloud stood and approached Genesis. His face was completely emotionless, as though Genesis was not only not a threat, but wasn't even worth his time. Angeal watched silently from the sidelines but for some reason didn't interfere.

Zack momentarily wondered if Cloud had the same problem with Genesis that he did with Sephiroth, but quickly dismissed the idea. Cloud would be a lot angrier by now if that was the case.

"Did you need something, _sir_?" Cloud asked in a tone so neutral that it managed to make itself mocking.

"Apparently all there is to be found here is a boy playing like he's Sephiroth."

Cloud's eye twitched ever so slightly, but he didn't move otherwise as Genesis turned around and left. As soon as the sound of the door slamming shut traveled through the apartment, Cloud returned to his packing. Angeal just sighed and ran a hand over his face.

"You know, Cloud, a little respect goes a long way with Genesis and Sephiroth. Especially Genesis. Getting on his bad side isn't advisable," Angeal said with a weary tone.

"I save my respect for those that deserve it," Cloud murmured.

"He's a Lt. General, Cloud. He's worked very hard for the company both in Wutai and at home. I know he's a bit hard to get along with, but cut him some slack. He wouldn't have the rank if he hadn't earned it. The war is taking its toll on him too, and I'm sure you can understand that. We're only human, after all."

Something about that phrase caused Zack's arms to jerk slightly by his sides. He didn't know what was so bad about it, but it left Zack-the-second feeling really uneasy and worried about Angeal. Still, convinced nothing would come of it, he returned to his packing and left Cloud to his incoming lecture.

* * *

The first thing Zack noticed about their new apartment was that it was _huge_. The bedroom was easily as large as their old living room and the bathroom had a separate shower and tub. There was an extra room with hardwood floors and weapon racks on the wall for training in place of a second bedroom. The kitchen actually had some counter space, and they ended up with a balcony overlooking all of Midgar. To say he was excited was an understatement, and Cloud looked amused at how overjoyed Zack was. He couldn't help it though, as he was still riding the high of having his beloved at home.

Angeal had made a hasty exit after dropping them off; probably to go talk to Genesis. Zack didn't really mind, because it let him cuddle right up to Cloud as they explored their new home. Something told Zack, though, that this wouldn't even be their final move. When Cloud made First, they'd get bumped up even further. Though, the prospect of living on the same floor as Sephiroth left Zack a little nauseous.

After they managed to unpack about half of their stuff, Cloud stopped suddenly and looked at Zack.

"Can we go see her?" he asked, hesitant for some reason.

Zack blinked once before realizing he was talking about Aeris. "Oh! Sure. Now?"

Cloud bit his lip a little and nodded. Zack wondered about it long enough for Zack-the-second to helpfully remind him about Cloud's words from the night before.

 

 

> _"My... ex-fiancée."_

Zack suddenly didn't want to know what made Aeris an 'ex', because he couldn't imagine anyone ever breaking up with her.

They got dressed in some nicer civilian clothes and left together to head to the slums. Zack made no efforts to hide his hand in Cloud's as he led his boyfriend to the church in Sector 5. Cloud probably didn't need him to guide him there, but didn't make any complaints either.

Zack didn't bother knocking as he walked right into the church. Aeris had made it clear early on that anyone was welcome here. Cloud still stood just outside the door with a face that said he was having trouble composing himself. Understanding, Zack went in alone at first.

Aeris looked up at the sound of the door and smiled brightly as she waved.

"Hi Zack! Manage not to get pick pocketed?"

Zack laughed a little, albeit a bit nervous for Cloud's sake. "Nah. I told you, I've been watching closer. I... Uh, I brought someone here to meet you, but he's a bit... well he's a bit shy right now."

She perked up at that and tilted her head. "Your boyfriend? Is he back from Wutai?"

Zack nodded and she smiled even brighter than before. Zack couldn't help but return the grin; she had known more than anyone except Angeal how hard Cloud's deployment was hitting him.

Despite saying that Cloud was shy, Aeris immediately hopped up and dashed past him to the door. Zack's eyes widened comically and he extended his hand after her. She ignored him though and pulled open the door to greet Cloud.

* * *

Outside, Cloud was trying to just _breathe_. Finding Zack again hadn't been so bad because it was a surprise. If he'd had to walk into Gongaga and wait until they bumped into each other naturally, he would have been a nervous wreck. Plus he had been of the assumption that Zack would already be in Midgar. But now, seeing Aeris again was the most terrifying thing he'd done since falling through the Lifestream the first time.

He wasn't even close to being ready when the door was pulled open. And she was _right there_.

"Hi! You must be Cloud, I'm A—" She stopped abruptly in the middle of her sentence as their eyes met. They didn't move, speak, and someone would be hard pressed to discern if they were breathing as they just stared. A look of sadness flitted across Aeris' face before one of resolve took its place. Her hand reached out slowly but steadily.

Zack came up from behind and watched as Aeris pressed her hand right to Cloud's heart. His breath caught in his throat as if he expected to see something, but nothing happened. At least not visually.

Cloud, on the other hand, _knew_ something happened. He felt it as it left his body and traveled up Aeris' arm; just like it had been when Zack's soul had passed on. Her eyes closed and Cloud could only watch as so many different emotions crossed her face.

"Aeris?" he choked out.

" _Cloud_ ," was what she breathed back, reverent.

Overwhelmed, he grabbed her hand and held on as tightly as he could without fear of hurting her, which, with his overcompensation, wasn't very tight at all, but she got the message. When her eyes opened, Cloud was struck with confusion. Her eye color changed. Why did it change? Her eyes were still green, but a much duller color than before. The smile she sent his way was a perfect mixture of love, joy, and sorrow at all once. It painfully reminded him of her last smile before dying.

"What did you _do_?" he asked in fear.

"I told you... there would need to be a 'great sacrifice'. I just... told a white lie about what it was," Aeris explained in a soft tone.

Terrified that she was just going to fade away, of losing her _again_ , he lunged forward and cupped her face in his hands. They were shaking as she covered them with her own.

"I'm not going anywhere, Cloud. It wasn't that kind of sacrifice."

"Then what? What did you do?" he repeated. He _needed_ to know. How could he have been so naïve to believe that not joining them in the Lifestream, that no peace, was a big enough sacrifice to warrant the chance he'd been given?

"I gave something up. It was worth it though. I still believe it was worth it," she said vaguely while pressing her cheek against his hand. And suddenly it all fell into place.

"You're not an Ancient anymore...," he whispered in horror. Her natural, _normal_ green eyes met his again as she nodded. "What—What does that mean?"

"It means that we've got to win. I won't be able to summon Holy this time."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra Unbetaed, proofreading will come after I get some sleep. Point A to Point B in the highest degree kind of chapter, as far as I can tell, the good stuff starts again next chapter.
> 
> Chapters 1-3 have all been edited for structure and clarity. Chapter 3 got the most edits, but no scenes were added. Reread if you wish, but it won't affect much.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 13th

Cloud felt like his whole world was being turned on its head as he stared into Aeris' now fully human eyes. All of his failures in the past had culminated in Aeris being stuck with _another_ sacrifice on his behalf. The feelings of shame and guilt churned in his gut as he slipped to his knees in helplessness.

What could he possibly do to make up for this? He hadn't just cost her, her life but now her heritage and her beloved connection to the Planet.

"Cloud, I don't regret this. I did it for you, for me, for everyone. How could I ever feel sad knowing I've given us another chance?" she said as she followed him to the ground. "We'll be okay. I believe in you, Cloud. Just like I always have."

Cloud couldn't respond as he just sat in horrified silence. Zack must have gotten over whatever shock he was in from them meeting and decided to fall down to Cloud's right and pulled him into a tight hug. Cloud just let it happen, as he could really use some comfort right about now. Aeris took a similar position to his left and he was quickly enveloped in their arms; not unlike they used to do to him in dreams. If he'd been in a better mood, it would have been a wonderful sensation. Still, the beauty of the moment was lost on him and he remained silent as they worked on calming him down.

It was almost fifteen minutes later when Cloud was able to put himself back in working order enough to start asking the right questions again.

"Is this going to change you?" he asked while looking at Aeris carefully; fearing the answer.

She smiled soft and enigmatically. "I'm not actually sure. I'd assume so, but only slightly. I _was_ always half-human from the beginning."

"I'm older... why?"

"I thought you may find it a little more helpful to be a bit... more intimidating when making your way in the world," she said with an edge of mischievousness. Cloud snorted without thinking; trust Aeris to change his birth date just to make him a little taller.

"And Zack?" he inquired as the boy in question lifted his head confusedly.

"He's the same as me. It's just... his memories got stuck behind mental walls. All of the memories are there, he just isn't quite ready to remember yet," she explained with a tilt of her head. Zack's blue eyes hopped between them every so often as he tried to make sense of what was being said. "You know what that's like, right, Cloud?" He shifted uncomfortably but nodded.

"So... I'm going to remember the future right?" Zack asked in a tone filled with bewilderment.

"Technically, it's our past," Aeris said with a smile before adding, "but yes. I just don't know when."

"Will I still be... me?" he wondered out loud softly. Hearing the fear in his voice, Cloud pulled Zack in closer and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"You'll always be you, Zack. You've never really changed at the heart of things," Cloud whispered. Zack seemed to accept this as he nuzzled against Cloud's chest and settled back down.

"Okay," his content voice murmured. It was a small miracle that Zack managed to trust so easily.

As the shock of the situation began to wear off, Cloud was overcome by another sensation: wholeness. Even without Aeris and Zack inside his soul anymore, he felt more whole than he had in a decade. He _finally_ had the ones he loved _right_ here. His eyes slid closed at the realization that he could feel their heartbeats. It was so perfect.

A single tear slid down his face only to be kissed away gently by Aeris. When he opened his eyes, he found hers looking right at him with the same longing expression he'd spent so long casting at the flowers in her church. Her hand found its way into his and, not unlike how he had done for Zack the night before, he brought it to his lips and kissed. Zack looked up the two of them and a tiny smile found its way to his face.

A smile of his own now in place, Cloud grabbed Zack's hand and repeated the action. His boyfriend just blushed a little and Aeris giggled.

"So I guess all that's left to ask, is what now?" Zack asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.

Cloud sighed heavily, but still smiled as he answered, "Well, now we save the world."

* * *

As it turns out, Zack soon discovered that saving the world wasn't quite that simple.

They spent several more hours alongside Aeris, just soaking up the comfort of each other's presence before it became apparent that they sort of _had_ to move. It was already evening and they all had lives to return to; despite how strange that felt. Aeris had seen them off with two kisses, one on each of their cheeks, and a promise to reconvene again very soon.

Somehow, Zack had expected she would come with them, but Cloud didn't seem surprised that she had stayed behind. He explained to Zack on the way back to headquarters that Aeris hadn't gotten to see her adoptive mother in a _very_ long time. Zack still wasn't quite sure what had happened to her, but he was still pretty certain he didn't want specifics. Luckily for his blissful ignorance, Cloud didn't seem up for delving into the details.

The knowledge that Zack-the-second's memories were all intact, or he supposed they were actually _his own_ , gave him a rush of motivation as he tried to untangle everything again. But it was to no success as he found that Zack-the-second was in no mood to remember anything fast.

Cloud had found his screwed up expression of concentration rather humorous and asked about what he was doing, and when Zack told him, he laughed and assured Zack that they would come naturally. He knew that Cloud was right, but his stubborn side just wouldn't let him quit. Though, even with hours of trying, he didn't uncover a single new thing.

As they fell into bed that night, in their huge new apartment, Zack half wondered if everything was just going to _change_ tomorrow.

And when the next day came and passed, he realized that he may have overestimated the speed of 'saving the world'. Sure, they returned to the slums in their free time and spent more time with Aeris, but aside from that nothing interesting happened for almost a month. Every now and then, Cloud would go to talk to Rufus Shinra again and Zack would hate every second of it until his lover was home. Yet, nothing changed.

Cloud told Aeris that he was waiting for Hojo to return to Midgar, right after filling Zack in on the fact that he was _related_ to Rufus Shinra, and that he was trying to set things up so that the domino effect didn't topple the infrastructure of the world. Aeris seemed to understand everything Cloud told her with little effort, and Zack was often left in the dark, but he trusted them to tell him what he needed to know. Until then, he was just happy enough to sit back and watch them spend time together.

Just because the world wasn't changing overnight didn't mean that nothing was going right, as Zack quickly learned that the only thing better than spending time with Cloud alone was spending it with Aeris too. He found himself entirely unable to be jealous as Cloud all but glowed from their companionship. Though, his lover and Aeris still hadn't rekindled anything romantic. Zack found it strange, given how obviously in love they were, and repeatedly gave Cloud his permission only to be met with a soft smile and kisses from Cloud. For some reason, they just seemed to be waiting. Zack didn't understand, but he got the feeling it was something they were able to communicate silently because they sure as hell weren't talking about it.

A few days after their reunion, Cloud turned seventeen and they were forced to honor his request of spending the whole day laying together in the flower bed together. Zack and Aeris had hoped that they would get to weasel a bigger celebration out of Cloud, but relented to the comfortable compromise on account of the fact that it truly made Cloud happy to spend time with them like that. Nevertheless, Zack made sure to make his evening much more exciting.

Over the course of the month, Cloud was sent on several missions throughout the Eastern Continent and Zack was often sent alongside him as backup. This left them traveling for a good portion of their time, mostly alone since Cloud was a SOLDIER 2nd, and Zack was able to see just how much the increased mako improved Cloud's fighting. From the VR room where Cloud completed missions flawlessly now to the Midgar Zolom they ran into in the marshes south of the Chocobo Farm that Cloud had single handedly _destroyed_. Some days, Aeris waxed on about how Cloud had once been the 'strongest man in the world', and Zack completely believed it. Cloud often found some way to negate this praise, but Aeris always insisted.

At the end of the month, Cloud was just beginning to get antsy for the return of Hojo, who seemed to be first on the hit list as far as Zack could tell. And, with each returned memory from Zack-the-second, he knew deep in his heart there was a very good reason for him being first.

But before they could ever even set eyes on Hojo again, the unexpected happened.

Sephiroth and the army were pushed back to Suitae and were barely holding onto the village as Wutai launched another strong attack on the SOLDIERs. The introduction of anti-SOLDIER monsters cost more lives than they had been expecting and left their earned ground vulnerable.

That's why they were in the briefing room that day. Angeal explaining this to them and Genesis standing off to the side, with a smug expression on his face, as though he'd known all along that Sephiroth wouldn't be able to hold the ground.

"And you really need _both_ of us to go?" Cloud asked skeptically.

"I know that you just got back Cloud, but Sephiroth made mention of you specifically. And with Zack's recent missions with you, I figured he was ready now too. In fact...," Angeal paused for a moment while looking between them. "I'm sure you're aware, Cloud, that you were initially recommended for promotion directly to First class."

Zack gawked at his boyfriend as Cloud nodded. Since when had _that_ happened?

"Well, it was agreed that a double class promotion would be too quick without some time between each level. With Sephiroth requesting you specifically back to Wutai, he wanted to turn this into an official evaluation for your promotion."

"I just hit Second," Cloud said in a deadpan tone. "I don't need another promotion. Hell, we just moved into that damn apartment. You can't be wanting to force me up further."

"It's not often I hear someone refer to a promotion through the ranks as 'forced', Strife," Genesis said with a sly smirk and a quirk of his eyebrow. Cloud just rolled his eyes; making no attempt to hide it. Zack was almost missing the interactions between Cloud and Sephiroth at this point; at least they were _openly_ hostile.

Genesis seemed to make it his priority to remind Cloud of his authority at every turn. Unfortunately for him, whatever he was hoping Cloud would do in reaction, Cloud never did. This led to some incredibly tense 'discussions', because Genesis was never one to label it an argument. Angeal and Zack, for the most part, had learned to just stay out of it.

Angeal just sighed at Cloud's point and scratched the back of his neck. "I know. I don't really agree with it. It's clear you've got the skill, but I'd prefer to let you have another year to enjoy being young. That's why I asked that he put it on hold again. Instead, I recommended Zack for promotion to Second."

Zack had been looking at Genesis still, watching as he glared at Cloud, but when he heard what Angeal said his head whipped around with a painfully loud crack. If there was any pain, he didn't even notice beyond the shock.

"Wait! Me? I've barely done anything as a Third, so how am I up for promotion?"

"You've demonstrated your skills alongside Cloud on the missions over the last month and, even if you didn't consider them worthwhile, the missions while he was deployed. I think you're more than ready. It's why you're both going. Besides, I didn't think you'd be very happy to be separated again, Pups," Angeal said with a small shrug. Zack tilted his head in amazement at the idea of being promoted to Second, and partially at how much happier he expected to be, but couldn't disagree with Angeal on his last point. There wasn't a thing in the world that could get him to agree to Cloud leaving without him again.

Cloud's mouth was skewed to the side in annoyance as he accepted the deployment papers from Angeal. It was clear he wasn't happy, and Zack could only figure that was because of how much importance he placed on time. Cloud was always mentioning how short on time they were, but never told him why.

Angeal turned to Zack and ruffled his hair slightly before telling him, "And you, Pup, you'll be needing a booster in accordance with your promotion." Cloud went rigid at the mention of mako and looked at Angeal sharply. Zack could already hear the gears turning in his head.

"Is Hojo back?" he asked curtly.

"Hojo?" Angeal asked in surprise before seemingly remembering why Cloud would be weary of him. "Oh, no. He's still... out of town," he said awkwardly. Cloud frowned deeply and nodded.

Looking down at the papers in his hand, Cloud passed one to Zack and started reading over his own. Zack accept the sheet and skimmed over it slightly. It was all pretty standard stuff from what he could see. It put him under command of Sephiroth directly as an aide.

"We're under your command," Cloud said suddenly in a disbelieving and not overly friendly tone. Zack looked up and found him staring straight at Genesis, who was once again smirking.

"Naturally. What did you expect?"

"I expected to be put under the command of the man requesting our deployment," he said in the same neutral voice that he used whenever he was looking to provoke an honest response out of Genesis.

"Actually, only _you_ , are under my command. Your little... friend, is under Sephiroth's. We decided that it was best to divide and conquer while pushing through to recapture Kaisk and the western road. Don't look so upset; the army will reunite when we've both captured the roads completely," Genesis explained with a sweep of his hand in Cloud's direction.

Cloud's lip curled in annoyance as he bit out, "That could take _months_."

"Then you'll simply have to bring an erotic magazine, Strife," Genesis purred cruelly. Cloud's eyes narrowed in anger until Angeal decided enough was enough and stepped between the two.

"I'm sure it will all work out fine, Cloud. It's not forever, either way. Once the roads to the capitals are captured, the war will wind down quickly. This is likely the last large push that Wutai's forces will be able to manage."

Cloud mumbled something in the negative, but finally nodded. Angeal, sensing this was going to get no better, dismissed them with a sigh. It was pretty obvious that this wasn't his idea. Zack, for one, didn't like this plan at _all_ , but there wasn't much they could do. What was the point of deploying them together only to assign them to different areas in Wutai?

Their deployment was scheduled to occur on the thirteenth of September, which gave them only four days to get everything in order before leaving. Zack had a feeling that he would be spending a lot of time waiting around for Cloud to get done talking with Rufus Shinra for the next four days.

* * *

Cloud was more than a little upset by the sudden redeployment to Wutai. With less than a year left between here and the start of Genesis' degradation, he didn't have _time_ to waste playing war. He needed to deal with Hojo and get things in order. The only thing that brought him a modicum of peace was that, if Genesis was coming too, then the degradation couldn't start until they returned to Midgar. Still, who knows how long that could be and how much time would be left.

All he could do was hope that Reno and Rufus would be able to handle disposing of Hojo while Cloud was in Wutai. They claimed this wouldn't be an issue, and Reno seemed to prefer it this way anyway, but Cloud was skeptical. It didn't help that the crazed scientist should have already been back by now. Why he was taking so long in returning to Midgar, Cloud wasn't sure.

By the time they set out at the end of the week, Cloud had made sure to get as many of his affairs settled as possible. Reno would kill Hojo as soon as Rufus was in the clear as Vice President, and Aeris knew to keep out of sight for awhile just in case Hojo escaped.

It had worked in Cloud's favor that the day before leaving, the labs had a small break out of specimens that he immediately volunteered to help clean up. He used this time to get a little better perspective of how to get in and out without being seen or caught, but it turned out to be relatively unnecessary as Reno made it clear he was already well versed in the labs.

Though the incident yielded one strange occurrence that Cloud almost found funny in a cosmic way. On the way out of the labs, after killing or containing at least a dozen different species of mutated monsters, Cloud had been waiting for the elevator when he felt a small tug on the laces of his boots. Looking down, he was greeted with the sight of a tiny monster wiggling around, hidden mostly by his pant leg. All he could see were the hind legs and tail like appendage wagging around from behind where he assumed it connected to its head.

Reaching down, he grabbed it by the scruff of its neck and hauled up the squirming pup. In his hand was a whimpering version of the same damn canine monster that Rufus was stupid enough to sic on Cloud the first time they met. Rufus had never even forgiven Cloud for killing it in self-defense. In fact, he'd shot Cloud once at Healen in a particularly heated argument about the animal.

Cloud raised an eyebrow at the baby Dark Nation and tucked it under his arm. He wasn't so heartless towards the younger Shinra that he would forgo reuniting, or rather uniting, the man with his beloved pet. Gaia knows that Rufus could use more humanizing factors in his life. He marched right up to Rufus' apartment, knocked, and, when the other blond answered, dumped the restless pup in his arms before leaving. It was enough to absolve him of what little guilt remained for killing the thing in the first place.

* * *

The next day was filled with nothing but the same travel that Cloud had experienced the first time when heading to Wutai, only this time it was slightly brightened by Zack's presence. _Only_ slightly though, as the knowledge that they would soon be separated again hung over their heads. Because of this, Zack took every opportunity he could to hold onto Cloud's hand as they made their way to the Shinra base on Wutai soil.

When they arrived, they were pulled off to the side of the newly arriving SOLDIERs and taken to the hospital so that Zack could receive his mako booster. It was a favor from Angeal that he'd granted permission for it to happen here rather than in the Midgar labs.

Still, despite the stark difference in locations, Cloud could see the affects of Zack's slowly returning memories on him as he awaited the injection. Unlike the last time, where he'd been calm for the most part, Zack now twitched nervously and shot every doctor in a lab coat the same type of glare that Cloud did. Not willing to bring up dark memories, Cloud didn't ask his lover about it; no need to speed up _that_ part of Zack's memory recovery. Some part of him even hoped that Zack wouldn't remember the years spent in the laboratories at all, but that was an unlikely event. The worry was mostly unneeded anyway, as the injection was relatively uneventful; Zack was no more sensitive than he had been in the beginning.

Afterwards, they were allowed to ride in a jeep with Genesis straight to Suitae because of their status as 'aide-de-camp's. Cloud didn't mind; he'd done that run once and that was plenty for him.

Arriving in Suitae showed Cloud just how badly the army had been pushed back as the village was surrounded with barbed wire as heavily as Maiskov had been when Cloud arrived. The progress they made all the way to Kaisk, while not entirely lost, appeared to be undermanned in terms of defense and Cloud could see they were at risk of losing it.

After collapsing the northern mountain pass into Suitae, Cloud and the SOLDIER 1sts had easily pushed the survivors of the town out and they all fled to the capital. He'd let them go; preventing the SOLDIERs from stopping their escape. Now it seemed like his mercy was biting the army in the ass. Cloud wasn't particularly sympathetic, but it did mean more Wutai casualties as the war dragged on.

They went straight to Sephiroth's quarters, with Genesis not even bothering to knock as he walked right in. Sephiroth, to his credit, didn't even look up as they entered.

"I'm glad to see you've survived the journey. It's fortunate that you were so eager to return, Genesis. We'll need your distinct flair for being an incessant pain to everyone you come in contact with to push their forces back," Sephiroth said smoothly in greeting.

Genesis just smiled sardonically and replied, " Even if the morrow is barren of promises, nothing shall forestall my return."

"How did I know you were going to say that?" Sephiroth muttered under his breath. If it had come from anyone else, Cloud might have actually smiled.

"So, do tell us your plan to reclaim the land you've so quickly lost. Surely, Strife wasn't _that_ integral in capturing it that you couldn't even hold it once he left?" Genesis asked sarcastically.

Sephiroth didn't bother rising to the bait, but instead stayed focused on the maps that still bore plenty of Cloud's own handwriting. On the desk that had Cloud's hands imprinted on it from all the arguments they engaged in. Instead, Sephiroth pointed to Kaisk and said, "You and Strife will be assaulting and recapturing Kaisk. From there your orders are to secure the road and bridge to the capital. Do _not_ lose that bridge. We will meet south of Hailei before assaulting the town together. If all goes well, once Hailei falls, we'll have a direct path to the capital. All that will be left standing is Fort Tamblin. By that time, they should be stretched so thin that it won't matter."

Genesis took one look at the map, tilted his head, and frowned. "And while we capture your high road with blood, sweat, and tears, you'll be casually cutting a path through the low road? Fitting. So be it. Strife and I leave tomorrow. Have our troops in order, will you?"

Sephiroth just smirked as Genesis took his leave and finally looked to Cloud, who in turn sent his usual glare of greeting. "I'm always so very warmed in my heart to see you well, Cloud. I trust you won't massacre my friend for his incompetence during this mission? You'll have to forgive him; he's still a Lt. General. He's not aware of the new chain of command following your arrival."

Cloud just snorted and folded his arms before saying, "If he keeps talking, I make no promises."

Zack just looked between the two with an odd expression on his face. Cloud couldn't blame him; the last time Zack saw them together, Cloud was out for blood. But five months of constant contact had formed a tenuous peace between them. It wasn't worth much, but it allowed them some sanity while still having to deal with each other on a regular basis.

"I'm telling you now," Cloud started in a low, dark voice. "If any harm comes to Zack while I'm off capturing the city you lost, I _will_ kill you."

Sephiroth paused before nodding as he met Cloud's suddenly slitted gaze. At least he wasn't foolish enough to think Cloud was joking.

But things weren't looking good to Cloud either way. It had taken several months to capture Kaisk the first time, and that had been after a surprise attack that left them weak. Cloud didn't like the sight of how many forces were indicated to be holding the village now on the map. Hojo would definitely be left in Reno's hands. The way things were turning out, all Cloud could do was hope it all wrapped up before he ran out of time.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetated. Oh god the Plot. Cliffhanger.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 15

It took Zack barely a week to discover something in Wutai: Sephiroth was a lot easier to get along with when Cloud wasn't there. The Silver General was, oddly, very enjoyable to work alongside. Despite the stark difference in rank, Zack was treated with respect as though he stood on equal footing to Sephiroth.

Although, Zack did sometimes get the feeling that Sephiroth would have preferred Cloud over him as an aide. Mostly when he asked Zack for his opinion on an upcoming tactical move and Zack had nothing special or interesting to add. From Cloud's hand writing all over the map, Zack could only assume his boyfriend had been a driving force in the initial capture of Suitae and Kaisk. But even though Zack wasn't Cloud, he still managed to spot a good plan from a bad one fairly easily; Zack-the-second often pointed them out.

When they weren't working, Zack took to spending his free time talking to Sephiroth one on one. Strangely, the leery feeling Zack often held for Sephiroth had almost completely disappeared the moment Cloud was out of town. He could only figure that Zack-the-second must have some sort of past with the two of them being hostile that left him worried.

"There's _no_ way you're only twenty. You've got to be like twenty-five," Zack exclaimed in shock.

Sephiroth's mouth quirked up at one side as he replied, "I am, indeed, _only_ twenty."

"That makes you only like three years older than Cloud. Four more than me." Zack was dumbfounded at that knowledge. Sephiroth looked so much older than he really was; Zack had believed him to be a young looking thirty year old at one point.

They were sitting in Sephiroth's quarters; Zack cross-legged on the bed and Sephiroth sitting in his chair. It had been hours since they started talking, but Zack had barely scratched the surface with all the things he wanted to ask. All things considered, Sephiroth was a really interesting guy.

"I do get similar reactions every time I mention my age, so I'm not surprised you thought I was older."

"Well, I mean, you don't look _old_. It's just you've got a very adult face," Zack explained while tilting his head slightly to look at Sephiroth from a different angle.

"Is twenty not an adult?" he asked in amusement.

"It is, technically, but not really. You've only been an adult for a few months if you were born in February. Before that, you were a teenager. That's so weird. You were nineteen when we met? You don't look any different!"

"I've looked more or less the same for several years actually. It's been a source of constant amusement as people attempted to guess my age. When I was a cadet, I often got asked why I was joining so late," Sephiroth said with a shrug.

That just blew Zack's mind. He couldn't even imagine the man as a cadet; let alone a child. "You mean you didn't just start out as the General?" Zack questioned half-sarcastically, half-seriously as it truly was difficult to fathom.

Sephiroth laughed quietly, a noise Zack was weirdly fond of, as he responded, "If I had a Gil for every time someone asked me that question, I'd be able to buy a very nice house in Costa Del Sol in cash."

"You in Costa Del Sol? You'll burn so quick that it will make your head spin. Then you'll just look silly. All that silver hair and lobster skin." Zack was snickering just thinking about it. It had been a shock that Cloud hadn't burnt during their short stay there while coming to Midgar, but, if he had, the effect would have been similar.

"The mako prevents sunburns. I'm afraid you'll never get to see me with 'lobster skin'. My apologies," Sephiroth said with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"Ah man. I was actually starting to look forward to the day we both get sent somewhere tropical. You've crushed my dreams," Zack whined while holding a hand to his chest as if wounded.

Sephiroth didn't respond at first; simply looked at Zack with an intense stare that left him self-conscious, but he was able to hold it with some effort. He'd discovered early on that Sephiroth was much happier when people didn't look away from him like they were afraid. Zack wondered if that was why he was much fonder of Cloud than Cloud was of him.

"I can see why Strife made you his," Sephiroth murmured softly while still staring.

 _That_ caught Zack's attention plenty. He blinked in confusion before asking, "Huh?"

"Cloud. I can understand why he's so very protective of you. You're very good at making someone feel 'normal', for lack of a better word."

"But Cloud _is_ normal," Zack said, perplexed, with his brow furrowed before adding, "Hell, for that matter, so are you. What makes you say something like that?" It was Sephiroth who looked away finally.

"Neither Cloud nor I are completely normal. Hojo's interference makes us different; even among SOLDIER. You must have noticed his strength. The last time he was in Wutai, he was able to keep up with me easily. To be honest, I hope to solve the heart of his dislike for me soon. If I don't, I'm beginning to fear that he will _succeed_ in killing me one day. Perhaps... You know why he's so angry with me?" Sephiroth asked more eagerly than he'd said anything all night. Zack almost felt bad for the guy; he didn't seem to be taking Cloud's strange animosity very well.

"No clue. He's just always been like that. Ever since the induction ceremony for the cadet program," Zack said with a shrug.

Sephiroth made a noise of agreement. "Yes, I remember. He spent the entire duration keeping me locked in a glare so heated that it might have given a lesser man a heart attack."

"Really?" Zack asked with a grin.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes before answering, "Yes. Really."

Zack came to the sudden realization that Sephiroth reminded him _a lot_ of Cloud. In fact, the similarities were so huge that Zack wondered how he missed them before. They may not have looked anything alike, but they could be twins in personality. Somehow, though, he figured Cloud would not be pleased to hear that. Still, it made many of the former references to the fact by Genesis and others make more sense.

Eventually, Sephiroth sighed in defeat and ran a hand through that gorgeous silver hair. Zack may not be attracted to the man, but he could appreciate his insanely beautiful hair.

He snorted against his will at the idea that Cloud may hate Sephiroth out of jealousy for the hair. The man in question looked at him and hiked up a brow. Zack covered his mouth in embarrassment and grinned sheepishly.

"Oops?"

"A Gil for your thoughts?" Sephiroth asked with a small smile of his own.

"N—nothing," Zack said with an involuntary giggle. Damn his imagination. Now all he could see in his mind's eye was Cloud with long silver hair. The sight was horribly funny.

"Suit yourself. I would have actually given you the Gil," Sephiroth remarked amusedly with a wave of his hand. Zack squawked in indignation at being cheated out of a Gil before they both broke out into another laugh.

Zack's grin stretched all the way across his face at the feeling he got from making Sephiroth laugh. It was a good feeling that could only be compared to seeing Cloud smile. He could only figure that bringing joy to the almost joyless was his calling in life.

* * *

It took Sephiroth all of three days to find he was rather going to like Zack Fair. Especially without Cloud around to sour the boy's moods.

Fair possessed a natural ability to brighten one's day beyond anything Sephiroth had ever experienced. He wasn't a witless fool, but he did manage to entertain while still maintaining his usefulness. He may not have been the tactician or the fighter that Strife was, but he did possess more than what was required of a SOLDIER 2nd. And at such a young age too. He would most certainly be another to rise quickly through SOLDIER, even quicker with Angeal being so fond of him.

It was now no mystery why someone so serious as Strife could find love with a boy that, up until now, Sephiroth had considered childish based on Angeal's descriptions. Fair was something special in his own right. If he was honest with himself, he had to consider Strife to be wildly lucky to have won over such a boy. Fair may have been young, but he'd grow. And you had to be blind to not see that he would be a, not only beautiful individual, but a very desirable man. He had the rare combination of charisma, kindness, loyalty, and intelligence that Sephiroth often longed to find in a partner himself.

In fact, if trouble was to erupt in paradise between the boys a few years down the line, Sephiroth wouldn't be opposed to attempting to win Fair over for himself. Though, Sephiroth was a pragmatist; Strife would be a fool to let Fair go, and Strife was anything but a fool.

Nevertheless, he was more than happy to be paired with a good natured aide this time rather than the argumentative Cloud. Plus, Genesis was going to need Strife's abilities as they pushed for Kaisk.

Sephiroth had to admit, that Hojo had created a strange occurrence with Strife. The boy's strength grew exponentially from when he first arrived in Wutai to the time he came out of the mako coma. It was apparent that he was now fighting on par with, not only a First, but the three Generals as well. While Sephiroth was extremely reluctant to brand Strife equal in power to himself, he was quite sure that he must be at Genesis' level at least. It would be... a powerful wake up call for his proud friend; and not a good one at that.

He often pondered about what it was that made Strife so powerful. The boy possessed a fighting ability _far_ beyond his seventeen years, but that only brought him so far against a much stronger enemy. It was then coupled with the almost inhuman strength he drew from the complete mako-blood replacement and these mysterious cells that Hojo injected him with. Something about the mutation that the doctors had described to him obviously played a role, however minor it may be.

It was a constant puzzle for Sephiroth, and it was enough to keep him from sleep at night as he poured over what few facts he possessed. A piece of him was interested, excited even, at the prospect of having a true equal. He had never met another capable of beating him in a spar, and he yearned for the experience.

Sometimes he thought himself the odd one; who longs to be beaten in a fight, after all? But still his desire to see just how strong Cloud Strife could become wouldn't cease. Perhaps he'd find some extra power while off fighting alongside Genesis, who would push him far harder than Sephiroth ever had. If he didn't simply try to kill him out of frustration first. And that was something that Sephiroth could easily see happening with the two volatile SOLDIERs.

Sephiroth wouldn't find out till much later, though. He and Fair would be very busy fighting up the western road towards the capital. Strife and Genesis would, hopefully, manage to refrain from killing each other before they captured Kaisk at the very least. It would take so much longer to end the war if they were unsuccessful in capturing the village again and the road beyond it.

It was a month and a half into the push on both fronts when a large party of Wutai soldiers ambushed Sephiroth and Zack alone while they scouted ahead for the army. He'd quickly learned that doing the scouting himself yielded far less deaths than sending his SOLDIERs who could get overwhelmed faster than they could report back. Sephiroth was always able to hold them off as Zack called in reinforcements.

Today, however, there was at least twenty in the ambush, leaving Sephiroth wondering how they could manage to stay so silent. The thick brush came with the general sounds of the wilderness that left SOLDIERs senses disoriented. It was one of Fair's hidden talents that he was very adept at filtering it all out in favor of listening for the enemies.

It had been him who had heard the ambush before it occurred, and, if not for that, he would have been killed as a poison-tipped arrow flew out on a direct path for his throat. His cry of alarm had been registered quickly enough for Sephiroth to respond by catching the arrow and then cutting a swath in the brush before them.

Masamune was no machete, but she managed to cut through the trees and foliage like paper nonetheless. It didn't take more than two slashes before one of the enemies moved to save his own life and Sephiroth had been able to pinpoint the location and simply run him through.

Zack, being astute at following orders, gave the call for back up before charging off, sword out, towards what Sephiroth assumed was another enemy. The boy was very good at maneuvering through the jungle as he leapt over obstacles and danced around trees to cut down another Wutai soldier. It was this excellence at combat in the terrain that allowed Sephiroth to pay him little mind as he worked to clear his own area.

Somehow, Fair was also _incredibly_ good at avoiding his sword without even looking like he was trying. It had been an odd quirk he'd noticed in Strife, though he figured that he must have picked it up from attempting to murder his VR counterpart because the movements were more guarded. Fair, on the other hand, managed to fight at his side like he'd been doing it his whole life. So much so that Sephiroth almost had to force his mind to stay focused on _not_ accidentally hitting the boy, because he'd never forgive himself if he got complacent and then Fair slipped up and ended up in the path of Masamune.

In one of these moments of distraction, he missed an archer who then quickly fired a poisoned arrow right into his shoulder. Sephiroth snorted and ignored it. Their poisons were nigh useless against him. Instead, he used the moment of confusion on his enemy's part to respond with an attack of his own; the difference in power was fatal for the archer.

It was barely moments later when the SOLDIER 1sts arrived and took over. Sephiroth and Zack fell back and allowed them to pursue the fleeing guerilla fighters. As Zack approached him, his eyes grew impossibly wide at the sight of the arrow in his right shoulder. Sephiroth simply smirked and pulled it out in one fluid motion; the wound sealed instantly.

And then, suddenly, his whole world felt like it had been flipped, shaken, and then slammed against a brick wall as his whole body was overcome with a wave of dizziness and nausea. Sephiroth had never felt nausea in his _life_ ; he knew it only from _textbooks_.

Unable to get a grip on his surroundings, Sephiroth staggered and fell to his knees. Zack may or may not have cried out as he fell at Sephiroth's side to see if he was okay; Sephiroth couldn't tell over the ringing in his ears and head. Not even able to stay upright, he fell forward onto his hands and was barely able to keep himself from falling face first into the dirt. What had been in that poison? Was he dying? If they had developed a toxin capable of killing even him, then the fate of this war was seriously in question.

The last thing he recognized, before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the ground unconscious, was the complete look of horror on Zack's face. He heard a frightened cry of, "Seph!" and his last thought was: at the very least, he'd be mourned.

* * *

Cloud knew, in under 24 hours of leaving Suitae with Genesis, that he completely despised the redheaded Lt. General. He was almost missing Sephiroth's company at this point.

"You could _try_ to look somewhat cheerful, Strife. I don't bite," Genesis purred maliciously at how annoyed Cloud was becoming with this situation.

The first thing that had been said upon leaving the Shinra held village was an order that Genesis always be referred to by rank or 'sir'. Cloud didn't have a leg to stand on with any complaints; it _was_ army policy. Still, it started things off on a bad note between them. It didn't help that Cloud was still furious at the idea of leaving his lover behind with that madman.

He was fairly sure at this point that Sephiroth wouldn't harm him, at least not _yet_ , but that didn't mean that Cloud felt safe with him there. Without being around to protect Zack, he could easily be taken out in a large ambush. Then everything he'd been doing up till now would be for nothing.

It was now over a month, nearing two, into this tour, and they had only recently managed to recapture Kaisk. It wouldn't have taken half as long if Genesis had been willing to let Cloud demonstrate an easier plan. For all the man boasted about his tactical prowess, he was only a fraction as good at Sephiroth.

Today found them sitting around the village, trying to plan about how they were going to capture, hold, and secure the bridge to Hailei without the Wutai army destroying it. Cloud wasn't sure why they were so adamant about controlling this bridge; just taking the western road and holding all the villages south of it would be enough. It would force the remaining Wutai troops into a corner and allow the SOLDIERs to cut right through.

Genesis was having an incredible amount of trouble figuring out how to accomplish this feat he'd set out to do, and Cloud was tiring of listening to him mutter to himself for hours.

"If you had half a mind for war, you'd get to the beach southwest of the bridge, walk around, and secure the other end like that. There's no way you're securing that bridge without holding both ends at the same time. They'll just cut it," Cloud growled in frustration by the third hour of listening to all the 'hmm's and 'ah's as Genesis tried and failed to come up with a plan.

The redhead just looked up at Cloud, glared viciously, then looked down to the map again and paused. After a few moments, Genesis finally asked neutrally, "...Did Sephiroth come up with that?"

"No. _I_ came up with it. How do you think we managed to capture Suitae and Kaisk back to back with so little trouble?"

Genesis never answered, and chose to ignore his plan for almost two more days before approaching him with an angry posture and demanding more information on it.

Now they were sitting in an extraordinarily small boat, just the two of them, about to hit land on the same beach that Cloud had mentioned before. The trip had been incredibly frustrating as Genesis used every spare moment to discuss what holes could be poked in this venture. Cloud eventually snapped and asked why he'd gone along with it if he was so sure it was going to fail. Once again, Genesis didn't grace him with an answer, and Cloud found himself almost thankful for it.

The moment their boat hit the beach, they were out and moving. They didn't have much time before a scout was able to get word to the forces holding the north end of the bridge. Together, they cut through the brush as quickly as possible while trying to stay relatively quiet. Cloud could almost call it a miracle that Genesis was able to go so long without hearing the sound of his own voice. It was certain that if this plan succeeded, Cloud could look forward to a week of hearing all about how it was Genesis' presence that saved the mission from doom.

They were not afforded the element of surprise, due to the superiority of Wutai scouts, but they did manage to take out several of the backup soldiers they managed to pass as they reached the ledge where the bridge connected. It was guarded by a skeleton crew for the most part, with most of the men patrolling the extremely long bridge or assaulting the SOLDIERs on the other end. Luckily, due to this, cutting through them was simple between their combined might.

It took them no more than ten minutes to completely clear out their end of the bridge. And in ten more, the bridge belonged solely to them as the SOLDIERs rushed it and either tossed the remained Wutai forces over into the ocean or cut them down where they stood.

"Well, it's a good thing I am on _this_ side. I do believe you would have been little more than an ant below a boot had I stayed in Kaisk, Strife," Genesis said smugly. Cloud rolled his eyes but didn't rise to the bait. He hadn't even gotten a scratch in the fight so small that it didn't even deserve the title 'battle'.

Cloud had been preparing to search the soldier's corpses for any useful rations or materia when a shrill cry alerted him to the very thing he'd been praying wouldn't happen.

"Die, Shinra dogs!"

And it was all Cloud could do to throw himself in between Genesis and where Yuffie popped out of the brush. With one hand, his sword blocked Genesis' blade from cutting through the both of them as he responded with an attack, and with the other he grabbed Yuffie by the collar and hoisted her even further out of Genesis' reach.

The redhead raised an eyebrow at Cloud upon seeing his reaction, but made no move to lift his blade. "You protect an enemy, Strife?"

"I'm protecting a _child_ , _sir_. Or do Shinra's Generals kill kids these days?" Cloud growled angrily even as he pushed back against Genesis' blade. His own gave an ominous creak from the strain.

"How naïve. You've not seen what they train their children to do?"

"The children fight because they have to; we've killed all their parents. But you're not killing this one, so either pull back or you'll be facing one of your own as an enemy," he threatened with a snarl. For Yuffie's sake, he truly hoped that Genesis would pull back. As much as he longed to kick some sense into this idiot's head, he wouldn't risk hurting the young version of his friend.

Who, by the way, was kicking and screaming quite loudly, "Put me down! Put me down, villain! I'm here to vanquish you. So let me _vanquish_ you!"

Cloud tossed her a quick glare for being so unhelpful. Leave it to Yuffie to be so young and stupid as a child that she couldn't even tell a SOLDIER from one of the infantry. Not that she'd have managed to harm anyone from Shinra at all at her age. She couldn't be any older than nine or ten.

If Cloud had expected Genesis to let up, he would have been sorely disappointed as the redheaded Lt. General pushed all that much harder, causing a chip to appear in Cloud's blade, as he grinned feral and drawled, "What's wrong, Strife? Are you not as cocky now as you have been recently? Surely you must be prepared to fight someone of my caliber if you carry yourself with so little respect for your superiors. Perhaps a spar _would_ help us sort out a few discrepancies."

Cloud opened his mouth for a moment to respond with another scathing remark, but found himself cut off as the ground beneath them gave an odd quake. Abruptly, his sword shattered as the world shook again. A piece flew off and nicked Genesis' cheek just slightly, but Cloud was too focused on what was happening below them.

Yuffie shut up finally as the two SOLDIERs only had time to blink once in shock before the ground began to crumble. Cloud abandoned the aggressive stance, held onto Yuffie, and ran for their lives towards more solid land. Genesis followed suit, but every single SOLDIER on the bridge screamed as it gave way when the cliff collapsed into the ocean. He felt bad, but they had a better chance of surviving while hitting water than he did by staying where he was. As they ran, the ground continued to collapse behind them.

The end of the ridge was too far; they weren't going to make it. And, seconds later, the collapse caught up with them and took their footing out from under them. Cloud wrapped Yuffie securely in his arms and held on tightly with his own body between whatever they'd be hitting and her.

As they fell, he feared hitting ground, even if it was crumbled, because he'd at best break his spine. But the worry was for nothing as they plunged into the cold water of the Sea of Wutai. They sunk, and they sunk; until Cloud wondered if they'd be able to swim back up before drowning.

All of a sudden, his body was wracked with pain causing him to waste precious air as he cried out. His eyes snapped open and he saw tendrils of Lifestream surrounding them.

 _No._ He _couldn't_ be dying. Not yet! He hadn't saved anyone yet! Without him, Sephiroth and Hojo would destroy the world! This couldn't happen yet.

In horror, he realized that the Lifestream that was swirling around in the water with him was _dark_. As it slid between his still parted lips, and down his throat, he was hit with another wave of agony.

He knew this pain; this was the same pain of Geostigma. But that couldn't be; Geostigma wouldn't happen until Sephiroth entered the Lifestream, and, unless he'd died in the recent days, that couldn't be possible.

A voice, cold as ice and slick as oil, cut through his mind, "There you are... _Cloud_." It was Sephiroth.

He cried out again as Sephiroth, Jenova, or perhaps both, assaulted his mind. The pain was almost unbearable, but with Yuffie still in his arms, he couldn't give up. Not yet. He moved her beneath one arm and used the other to try to swim to the surface. It was slow, but their buoyancy was enough to speed things up. After an agonizing moment, his head broke the surface of the water. With great care he pulled Yuffie above it as well, but she was unresponsive.

Unwilling to believe her dead, he forced his body to cooperate and swam to shore, which was luckily quite close. Genesis was already there; soaking wet, on his knees, and gasping for air. Cloud walked onto the beach, staggering from the onslaught of S-cell pain, and laid Yuffie down. It didn't take long to see she wasn't breathing.

Forcing his mind to forget his pain, he started compressions to keep her heart beating while alternately giving her air. It took three long, tense minutes, before she finally choked and spit out water while coughing. With her breathing again, Cloud finally couldn't take it anymore, and passed out from the pain. He'd done his part. Now all he had to do was survive.

* * *

He woke several hours later, feeling a lot less sore than he should be, and sat up to find himself in a makeshift camp. Genesis sat brooding by a small fire and Yuffie lay asleep a few feet away.

"I see you're alive," Genesis said off-handedly. Cloud just nodded with a deep frown.

What the hell had just happened? Cloud had absolutely no answers, but he knew without a doubt that it couldn't be good. Sephiroth or Jenova in the Lifestream just shouldn't be possible. Did this have anything to do with that nightmare he'd had about Aeris? No, that must have been about the mako poisoning. He'd have known sooner if it was something else.

Standing, he made his way to the small pool that rested a few paces from where they were. At least Genesis had chosen an ideal spot to make camp. He kneeled down and grabbed a handful of water before drinking it to quench his intense thirst. He took another and drank that too while staring at the ripples in the water.

Something strange caught his eye though. Reaching out a hand, he found the reflection much bigger than it should have been. Suddenly terrified, he steeled himself for the worst and leaned over.

In the water, staring back at him, was no longer a seventeen year old Cloud Strife. It was Sephiroth. The _same_ way it had always been in the future. Cloud's eyes widened as he watched the man smile cruelly, pressing his hands against the water as though it were a mirror that he was attempting to break free from.

Rearing back, Cloud stumbled back to camp and fell down into a crouch by the fire. To say this was bad, would be an extreme understatement. He needed to know what was going on, and he needed to know _now._

A small groan stirred him from his thoughts, and Cloud dropped the worries for a moment to rush to Yuffie's side. Above all, he needed to be sure she was okay. She tossed her head from side to side for a moment before her eyes opened and locked onto his. They widened slightly before recognition crossed her face and then complete and utter shock.

She whispered in confusion, "C-Cloud?"

Cloud felt like the bottom of his stomach had fallen out as Yuffie stared back at him with _far_ too much familiarity in her eyes. This just couldn't be happening.

Again, he backed up quickly. Genesis looked up at him and glared sharply.

"Do get a hold of yourself, Strife. I won't have you panicking now. We'll be fine," Genesis bit out angrily.

Cloud glanced at him, turned back to Yuffie, then felt his heart all but stop. Looking back to Genesis' face in horror, Cloud was reminded of a saying that his mother had been fond of when he was young: Bad luck comes in threes.

The cut hadn't healed.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed, once again, expect some glaring typos till I get to reread. Swearing.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 17
> 
> Also, minor plothole in this or last chapter depending on which one I decide to correct. Not gonna elaborate on what it is till I've decided which side I'd like to fall on it with it. Either way, it won't affect much of the story. It's just me being a stickler for canon regarding certain things.

Waking up was an experience Sephiroth was both pleased to undergo and something he could also have done without. His head ached in a way he'd never known and his heartbeat was going faster than it should have been. Though, he supposed, it was much better than the alternative.

When his eyes snapped open, the first thing he noticed was that the light was glaringly bright and he reflexively closed them again. A moment later, he reopened them and found himself to be in his quarters in Suitae with a what looked to be an utterly exhausted Zack Fair sleeping half in a chair, half on the bed by his side. The boy had a vague scent of salt on him that led Sephiroth to assume he'd been crying quite heavily. He wondered for a moment if the tears had been for Sephiroth's sake.

Still weak from whatever had been in that poison, he didn't bother trying to get out of bed yet. Instead, he reached over and ran a hand through Zack's hair. Zack just pressed unconsciously into his hand, causing Sephiroth to smile lightly.

He was still there petting the young SOLDIER when a doctor came in, which forced Sephiroth to withdraw his hand. The doctor looked rather shocked to see him awake, and Sephiroth was left wondering just how close of a call it had been for him.

"Good morning, General. I'm happy to see you're already awake. We were worried about the possibility of a coma," the man said when he finally recovered. Sephiroth just made a noise of agreement and waited for the explanation he knew had to be coming. "Gave us a bit of a scare, sir. Perhaps you could tell me if you've been experiencing any strange symptoms in the last few days. We're still trying to figure out what exactly happened."

"You mean besides the poisoned arrow?" Sephiroth asked dryly.

The doctor shifted from foot to foot for a moment before responding, "The arrow was no different than the usual, sir. It was the first thing we tested. Your blood—excuse me, mako—showed no signs of any sort of contamination. Whatever happened was not caused by the arrow. It may have been triggered by the wound, but we're still completely unsure as to what it could have been."

Sephiroth frowned darkly. That wasn't right. He just didn't _get_ sick. For the most part, he'd been of the assumption that he was physically unable to do so.

"There have been no unique symptoms, doctor. I felt fine up until I removed the arrow and then quickly things went downhill. Everything had been normal before that point."

The doctor didn't look all that happy to hear nothing of use from Sephiroth's last few days, and quickly made an excuse to leave after that. Sephiroth had a feeling that the man didn't like being the one to have to deliver news that there was no news. Not long after that, Colonel Hallowitz came in to deliver a report on everything that had happened since Sephiroth had been unconscious.

"Sir," the stern man greeted. Sephiroth nodded at him in return. "I'm pleased to report that we were able to beat back the ambush and secure the ground. No other causalities occurred as a result either."

That was good at the very least. It was nice to know the army was well tuned enough to continue functioning when their General was taken out of commission for a day. However, the look on the Col's face didn't inspire him with great hope for unfailingly good news.

"What else?" he asked, not willing to wait for the man to find his courage to disappoint him.

"Lt. General Rhapsodos and his aide have gone missing following an accident on the bridge between Kaisk and Hailei. We lost a dozen SOLDIERs when the cliff on the opposite end of the bridge collapsed. They are presumed dead, but with water below them there is a chance that they survived and made it to the beach. Nothing has been heard about the Lt. General or his aide since yesterday. Apparently this happened almost simultaneous to your collapse, sir."

Sephiroth felt a deep rush of worry for both of the men now lost in Wutai. Genesis and Cloud were both very strong individuals, but even the best cannot compete with natural disasters. All he could hope was that they managed to escape before being caught in the collapse. Sparing a glance at the sleeping Zack, he was suddenly filled with anger.

"Was my aide informed of this?" he demanded coldly.

"Uh—Yes, sir."

Sephiroth scowled and ordered the Col to leave. No wonder the boy had been crying; the idea of losing his lover while his General is ill. It probably overwhelmed Fair.

Speaking of the boy, he began to stir almost immediately after Hallowitz left. Sephiroth watched as he twitched and nuzzled against the thin blankets his head was resting on as he worked to emerge from sleep. It was all very cute, for lack of a better word. He relaxed slightly and hoped beyond hope that, somewhere out there, Cloud Strife was alive. If only for Fair's sake.

* * *

Zack had been dreaming about being curled up with Cloud and Aeris in the flowers again, so waking up to the cold reality of war, Cloud being missing, and Sephiroth sick was not a fun prospect. It took a lot out of him to claw his way out of his dream when he heard voices around him. It was the desperate hope that Sephiroth was awake or, even better, Cloud being found that gave him the motivation to do so.

His eyes landed on Sephiroth, who was very much awake, as he blinked the first few blinks of wakefulness. A surge of joy ran through him at the idea that Sephiroth was okay. That was one worry gone at least.

Zack-the-second was still being a confused knot of emotions over the situation though. It had been him who cried out for Sephiroth when he was falling. The other him taking control of his voice had been a new one on Zack, but it wasn't too frightening given the previous experiences. Plus, Zack now knew an excellent new nickname for the General that was easier than the mouthful his name happened to be.

What bothered him most was that Zack-the-second couldn't decide if he thought Sephiroth dying was the best thing to ever happen or the worst. Zack had just been caught in the middle, worrying for his leader, as a deep cynical part of the other him found this to be an unfortunate but necessary event and the piece of him that apparently knew Sephiroth rather well was both horrified and saddened. Eventually, it had become so confusing that Zack tried yelling at the halves of his other half in his head to pick a side and stick with it; the worried side won.

"How are you feeling?" Sephiroth asked softly, breaking Zack out of his thinking.

He just smiled slightly and tilted his head. "Should I be asking _you_ that?"

Sephiroth gave a slight shrug and the corners of his mouth turned up. "Perhaps. I am perfectly fine now. Aside from a headache."

"Guess that's better than being dead. I'm okay too. Did... Did they come say anything about Cloud?" he asked, terrified for the moment. He'd be terrified until Cloud was back in his arms.

"Only that he's still missing. Don't worry; I'm sure he and Genesis are quite alright. They are both far too stubborn to die that easily."

Zack nodded in agreement. He knew deep down that Cloud wouldn't leave him like that. Not after getting him and Aeris back. They still had so much to do, even if Zack didn't know what it all was.

* * *

Cloud had been utterly floored by all the terrible things coinciding at one time. It had been a _very_ small mercy that he could see the cut on Genesis' cheek to be healing, albeit so slowly that degradation had to be setting in already. And now, it was probably all Cloud's fault. It had been _his_ sword that hit the redhead this time. His stomach churned uncomfortably at the idea of Angeal finding out.

Yuffie, luckily, was smart enough to notice the company and shut up almost immediately. That didn't mean she was ready to let things go, because she made it very clear with her eyes that she needed to speak to Cloud alone. Not that Cloud would have let things go without speaking to her to figure out if he was just losing his mind or if she was regaining hers.

When Genesis left in search of something to eat, the young version of his friend hopped up and stalked off into the trees in the opposite direction. Cloud followed, watching her now familiar grace as she walked. Any hope that she knew his name by a fluke was now dwindling.

A few minutes' walk later, she swung around and stared at him with an almost wild expression while demanding, "What the _fuck_ is going on?"

"Language," Cloud corrected without thinking. He paused and rolled his eyes at himself. Trust his time with Marlene and Denzel to come back to the forefront _now_. "Ignore that. What do you remember?"

She looked incredulous as she spluttered, "Re—Remember?! I remember everything. AVALANCHE, Hojo, Sephiroth, you, Vincent, Tifa, _dying_. Fuck, the last thing I remember was being part of the Lifestream and watching it all go dark. But I sure as hell don't remember suddenly going back to being a _kid_."

As funny as it was to watch a young Yuffie get angry in the same manner as her adult self, Cloud was stuck in an endless loop of shock and confusion at the fact that she remembered their past life. How could that be possible? He had been sent back alone, and only Aeris and Zack had fused with him. He'd have felt it if someone else had joined him. He didn't get a chance to respond as a look of contemplation flitted over her small face. She started pacing, and crossed her arms over her chest.

"No; I'm wrong. The last thing I remember was like this... hole. It was just this deep part of the Lifestream. I could feel the darkness trying to escape through it, and I didn't like the feeling of that. I figure, hell I'm already dead, what's the worst that can happen? So I followed it. The passage was closing off but the darkness just kept pouring into it. I was getting squeezed all over and I thought—I thought I wouldn't be able to make it. Some of the rest of the light Lifestream tried to stop me, but I just knew I needed to follow it to the end. When I popped out the other end, I saw my body, this young body, and I moved into it. I just wanted to be me again. After that I felt like I was drowning and I blacked out."

"You felt like you were drowning because you _were_. We were in the ocean when that happened. I saw the dark Lifestream. You mean... it came through from the past through a hole in the rest of the Lifestream?" Cloud asked, confused and filled with dread.

Yuffie nodded before saying, "Yeah. It was crazy. But now, where, or _when_ , are we?"

"Wutai, late 1998."

"So during the war then," she said distastefully.

"Yeah," Cloud muttered as he looked away in shame. Suddenly, fighting in this war was a huge regret.

"So why are you all SOLDIER'ed up? I thought you said you were only an infantryman, and definitely not in 1998. Shouldn't you be like fifteen, fourteen?"

"I've been in the past for over a year. Aeris made me a few years older than I was normally when she sent me back. I... rejoined Shinra. It was the only way to ensure I got enough mako to fight Sephiroth and take him out before the Nibelheim incident. I just... got caught up in the SOLDIER mess," he explained while crossing his own arms over his chest defensively.

Yuffie just snorted. "Calm down, Cloud. We've all done things we're not proud of. I get why you joined, I'm not going to go all psycho-bitch on you for ending up in the war. Pretty sure every SOLDIER got their turn over here eventually. Wutai will recover. I'm not happy, but we can't rewrite _all_ the history books. I trust you not to be cruel about it. The real question is where the hell is the great Silver General himself?"

"Fighting up the western road from Suitae."

Yuffie raised her eyebrow and looked around them for a moment. "I know Shinra got fond of the slash-and-burn tactic to flush out the Wutai fighters, so this is actually pretty unfamiliar to me. Most of my life was spent in a barren Wutai. But if they are fighting alongside the western road, then where are we?"

"We were capturing the bridge from Kaisk. The cliff ended up collapsing before the Lifestream thing. We just swam to the beach so we're actually east of the western road, just north of where they should be."

"Oh, you captured Kaisk this time around?"

"What?" Cloud asked, surprised.

Yuffie shrugged a little and elaborated, "They never managed to capture Kaisk permanently the last time. We pushed them out every time they took hold of it. Still got destroyed from the constant fighting, but we did manage to keep it until the end of the war. Once the western road was claimed it didn't matter anymore anyway. If you've got Kaisk already then this war is probably going to end much earlier than it did last time. Probably for the best; less deaths."

"You're not... angry?"

"Not at you," she said with a sigh. "I'm pretty pissed about being an seven year old though."

"You're seven?" Cloud asked in a mildly amused tone. He had to admit, coming back that young would be rather frustrating.

"Yeah. Born in 1990, so if it's before November, then I'm seven. Eight if it's past November 20th."

"It's only October. You actually look a little older than that to be honest. It's not so noticeable," he said with a smirk.

"Yeah, well, my husband won't agree," she bit out. Cloud frowned again in sympathy. Vincent wouldn't even look at Yuffie for over a decade now. The only reason he got over his reservations the first time was because of Hojo's invasion making it clear they may not have time for Yuffie to catch up in age. The man managed to resist her advances all the way from her being sixteen till she turned twenty, but Yuffie had won out in the end. Waiting another lifetime would take its toll on her.

When Cloud didn't say anything more, Yuffie sighed and said, "Sorry. I'm just... trying to adjust to this. We should get back before that prickly asshole returns. We'll talk more when we've got some time alone. I'll work on figuring out myself out in the mean time."Cloud nodded slightly and then blinked in confusion as Yuffie yanked him into a tight hug. "I've missed you, you big idiot. We were so worried about you, Tifa, and Marlene out there near Edge. I'm sorry we couldn't get you guys to safety before it was all over," she whispered sadly.

Cloud closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her in turn. Yuffie was not only an excellent ally to have on his side, but a good friend to have been sent back. Though her younger self may have been somewhat childish, she had grown into a very mature woman from her time with AVALANCHE and leading her country after her father's death. Hojo's invasion had only strengthened her resolve and determination. He'd be a liar if he said he wasn't proud of her and how much she had grown over the years. Wutai would benefit from having its Lady already operating at the same level as she had so many years in the future.

* * *

After breaking apart, they returned to camp scarce moments before Genesis arrived; naturally he was empty handed when it came to food. Yuffie found this rather funny if the look on her face was anything to go by. Cloud just sat back and tried to figure all these new developments out as Genesis tried to interrogate Yuffie for information; she pretended to speak only Wutain.

So now, Genesis was on the cusp of degrading, far too early for comfort, Yuffie was back, and something was wrong with the Lifestream. But if it came back through from the future, then what did that mean? Was the other Sephiroth alive then? He had to be; nothing in Wutai could have killed him. But was he _sane_?

Cloud felt like a bucket of ice water had been dumped on his head at the idea that Sephiroth may be losing control wherever he was now. _Zack_ was there. What if the dark Lifestream fucked around with his head before Cloud got a chance to kill him? And what did the dark Lifestream do to Cloud when it went down his throat? Internally, he didn't feel any different, but, having lost control to Jenova once, he wasn't taking any chances.

As much as he wanted answers, there were none immediately available. Cloud was forced to be patient as they traveled down the western road for two whole days before reaching the other SOLDIERs, who received them with enthusiasm. It was a minor miracle that they had a jeep that they were able to use to get back to Suitae, because Yuffie was suffering from the walking. Her body was both unenhanced and unconditioned for hard travel at this age, and it left her as frustrated or more than Cloud had been upon returning to the past.

Pulling into the Shinra controlled village was a great relief to see it still standing and no one injured; it meant Sephiroth was likely still perfectly sane for the moment. It was also a great relief because, as soon as the excited cries of the other SOLDIERs started reaching all over the small village, Zack came running outside and Cloud felt his body get ten pounds lighter as his worries lifted. That was, of course, until he was barreled down by his emotional lover. Cloud couldn't keep the smile off his face as he was hugged, kissed, and nuzzled gratefully by Zack. Reuniting with him truly was the best feeling in the world.

Yuffie stood off to the side and gave him a knowing smile that he returned slightly. She looked happy just to see him happy, and he was appreciative.

That happy expression on her face changed quickly to a blank mask as Sephiroth walked out of the house Zack had emerged from only a moment later. Cloud nodded at him and was surprised to see Sephiroth smile in his direction as well before approaching.

"I'm glad to see you've survived. Fair was almost inconsolable by the second day," Sephiroth said amicably. Cloud rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to the top of Zack's head as the younger boy turned around to glare at Sephiroth.

"Shut up," he said with a pout that Cloud wanted to kiss away. He didn't like Zack aiming that expression at anyone else; least of all, Sephiroth.

"You didn't actually think I'd go and die, did you?" Cloud asked in amusement. Zack just buried his face in Cloud's arms again and shook his head.

"No, but it's been a tough few days. You go missing and Seph almost dies; everything sucked."

"What?" he demanded, seriously this time. Zack looked up in confusion before opening his mouth, only to be cut off by Sephiroth.

"Yes, I had a minor health scare at the same time you went missing. As you can see, I've recovered. I do apologize for the disappointment," Sephiroth explained with a smirk.

"What kind of health scare?" Cloud's voice was insistent.

Sephiroth just raised an eyebrow and responded, "I became ill and fell unconscious for a day."

"What did it feel like?"

"Why? Did you experience something similar?"

"Just answer the question," Cloud growled, any good mood left quickly souring. Yuffie's eyes were similarly trained on Sephiroth with distrust evident.

"It felt like someone turned my head into a child's snow globe, or so Zackary described it."

Zack groaned and dropped his head back to Cloud's chest while mumbling, "Can you _please_ not use my full name? I didn't know you'd be come so damn fond of it when I told you!"

"I will use your full name until you learn to use mine."

"Come on, Seph! Yours is too long. I use a shortened name, so why can't I shorten yours? It makes communicating on the field easier!"

Cloud was too busy agonizing over what this all meant to process this conversation, which was probably good because something told him it would have just upset him if he listened too carefully. If Sephiroth felt _anything_ at the appearance of the dark Lifestream, that couldn't be a good sign at all. Even if the man clearly hadn't lost his mind. For all he knew, it was just a matter of time.

A minute or so later, Sephiroth moved away to talk to Genesis while Cloud just stared off into space while Zack continued to nuzzle at him.

"What do you think?" Yuffie asked lowly while approaching him from the side. Cloud shrugged as Zack looked up at her in confusion.

"Oh! Hi! Uh—Who are you?" his boyfriend greeted kindly.

Yuffie smiled slightly and introduced herself, "Yuffie Kisaragi, Princess of Wutai."

Zack blinked once before letting out a cry of surprise. "P-Princess?! What are you doing in a Shinra controlled place?"

"I'm kind of a war prisoner, I think. Or so the redheaded ass is treating me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Zack said awkwardly. "Maybe the General will let you go?"

Yuffie's lip curled up and it looked almost silly on a child's face, but Cloud could sense the cruelty meant to be conveyed. "Somehow, I doubt that."

"She's like us, Zack. I just didn't know about it until the other day," Cloud said into Zack's ear. "She's an old friend of mine. Just keep it quiet."

Zack nodded slowly before smiling at Yuffie a little and whispering, "Oh, then it's really nice to meet you, Ms. Kisaragi. I'm—"

"Zack Fair, SOLDIER... _2nd_ Class, right? Call me Yuffie. We've actually met before. It was just a long time ago. Fuck, I mean a _really_ long time ago," Yuffie said with a small laugh. Cloud raised an eyebrow at her. Why hadn't she ever mentioned she'd known Zack before? Though with how the Wutai war progressed, it wasn't all that shocking.

"Wow, that's awesome! Yeah that's me. I'm sorry I don't remember you. My memories are being stupid," Zack explained.

"Don't worry about it. I'm stuck in an seven year old's body, so I can understand certain aspects of coming back being stupid."

They continued to talk and, much to Cloud's relief, get along swimmingly as he continued to worry about what hadn't yet come to pass. He may have answered a few of the questions, but there were still more than a handful hanging around in his head.

* * *

Later that night, he walked off towards a desolate corner of the village alone and dialed Aeris, who answered on the second ring.

"Hello? Cloud?"

"Hey Aeris," he breathed softly while looking around for anyone who might interrupt.

"Finally you call! It's been over a month and nothing but silence! You owe me dinner when you get back because of the worry you've caused me."

Cloud smiled slightly before diving right into the heart of things, "I need to ask you a few questions. Something weird is happening here. I was on a cliff with another SOLDIER, and the younger Yuffie, and it collapsed out from under us. We fell into the water, and there was Lifestream around us but it was dark. I felt like I had Geostigma again from the pain I felt. Sephiroth apparently got sick at the same time. And when I pulled us out of the water, I passed out from the pain. When I woke back up, my reflection was Sephiroth again and, suddenly, Yuffie was remembering our past life. She knows everything. What's going on?"

Aeris was silent for a moment before whispering, "I... don't know. That shouldn't have happened. Did she know anything?"

"Only that there seemed to be a hole in the Lifestream where she was that the dark was trying to travel through. She said it was closing, but that she and it managed to get through before that happened."

"Oh _no_ ," Aeris said in horror.

"What?!"

"I... I would have thought that the pathway would have closed sooner. It shouldn't have been open that long. What happened? This can't be good."

"What pathway? What do you mean?"

"I... opened a pathway to this time so I could send us back. That pathway was supposed to close instantly, but if it lingered, even for a few minutes, they could have followed us through. It wouldn't matter when they landed either, because time is strange like that. It took everything I had to control where we would land in history. But if they went through alone, it would make sense that they arrived so late. Dark Lifestream, you don't think it's... _her_ do you?"

"I don't know. Can't you—You can't tell anymore. You're not an Ancient," Cloud realized in distress.

"No... I'm not. And I can't tell what's happening. But this can't be good, Cloud. Jenova may have been able to sense when you left the Lifestream before and followed. If that happened... Gaia, Cloud. I don't know what will happen."

Cloud slammed his palm against his forehead and gripped at his hair slightly while biting out, " _Fuck_."

"Don't... worry too much yet. She may not have been able to get through before it closed. I'm sure we'd know if anything involving her happened in the world. She's not very subtle. Is Sephiroth okay there?"

"Yeah. For now at least. I'll keep an eye on him though," Cloud said wearily.

"Alright... Be safe, Cloud. And say hello to Yuffie and Zack for me."

"Always," he said softly as he hung up.

The world may not have ended in a single day, but he could feel it in his bones; this was the beginning of the end. His job was just to make sure the end was a whole lot more favorable this time. Setbacks be damned.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Angsty. Dialogue chapter.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 19

Cloud returned to Zack's quarters after calling Aeris. After capturing Suitae, Sephiroth had made certain to allocate quarters for Cloud, and, when Cloud became Genesis' aide, they went to Zack. It was a fortunate reward for being the mastermind behind the capture, as it gave him, Zack, and Yuffie the privacy they were going to need that night.

Zack and Yuffie were already there when Cloud arrived; talking quietly about something or other. He hung back for a moment to just watch from the doorway. His boyfriend had a lovely smile spread across his face and Yuffie looked more relaxed than he'd seen her since she came through. It was a welcome sight to see them getting along so well, because they would have to interact quite frequently soon enough. That and they deserved a little more camaraderie that didn't consist of the always serious Cloud.

"Oh come on in, Cloud. Don't hang in doorways. That's rude," Yuffie teased when she noticed him. Although, with her skills, she likely knew he was coming long before he ever entered.

Zack looked up and somehow managed to smile even wider as he reached out a longing hand toward Cloud. Taking it, he slid down next to his boyfriend on the bed and pulled him in closer. Zack just snuggled in and laid his head down on Cloud's lap so that the blond could play with his long black hair. When had it grown out so much? He supposed they hadn't gotten a haircut since graduating to SOLDIER. Now Zack's hair hung down to his neck and was almost as long as it was when he died, but his face still held the softness of youth that Cloud was fond of. A few more years and Zack would be less cute and much more dashing in his features as age sharpened them.

"You two are just _adorable_. Why didn't you ever tell me you were bi, Cloud? I could have tried to fix you up with some Wutai guys; since you and Tif never worked out," Yuffie said with a sly smirk, but her eyes were genuinely affectionate.

"I wasn't interested in moving on. The people I loved were waiting for me in the Lifestream," Cloud explained with a slight shrug at the exact moment that Zack squawked, "Who's ' _Tif_ '?"

Cloud shot Yuffie a glare for upsetting Zack before carding his fingers through his lover's hair a little more firmly and saying, "Tifa Lockhart. She's a girl I grew up with and fought alongside as an adult. She was interested, I wasn't. That's the whole story."

Zack just pouted up at him like a sad puppy and muttered, "Bet a lot of people were interested in you...— _unintelligible noises_ —... _Mine_." Cloud smiled lovingly down at Zack and bent down to press a kiss to his forehead. Yuffie snickered softly from where she was sitting.

"I think I've seen you smile more today than I have in years, Cloud. Not since—," she cut off suddenly as a look of realization crossed her face. Cloud smiled softly as she began to put the pieces together.

"Aeris says 'hi'. She's in Midgar at the moment," he said casually as Yuffie went from amazed to sad to overjoyed all in three seconds.

"She's _alive_?!"

Cloud nodded as he watched Yuffie smile both bright as the rising sun and as sad as Cloud had ever seen her. A few tears slid down her cheeks as she nodded slowly. Zack just looked between the two with a confused but solemn expression.

"That's... That's good. Gaia that's so fucking good. Is she alright? Does she remember?"

"Yeah," Cloud breathed as he was hit with another wave of emotion at the idea that she really was back. He still wasn't quite healed yet from the trauma of losing her the first time. "She came back with me and Zack. Unlike Zack, she remembers everything. But... She's not an Ancient anymore."

"Who the hell cares? She's alive and that's all that matters," Yuffie sobbed happily as she dove forward and hugged Cloud. He wrapped an arm around her and pressed his face into her fine black hair. To say that she had taken Aeris' death rather hard would be a severe understatement as she was the slowest to recover from it aside from Cloud. The young ninja had been inconsolable at first. Later, Yuffie had been so adamant about remembering her that she didn't just wear a ribbon on her arm in remembrance, but tied two on her shuriken as well.

"We're going to fix everything. Together," Cloud whispered soothingly to the crying girl. Yuffie just held on tighter and nodded.

"Save everyone. Save the world. We'll do even better this time," Yuffie choked out between sniffles. "Can you take me to see her? I want to see her."

"Sure. I think she'd love to see you."

"I miss Vince," she sobbed again and all Cloud could do was pull her in tighter; as tightly as he could without worry of hurting her. Zack seemed to understand that this was a painful moment for the girl and sat up to wrap his own arms around her. He locked eyes with Cloud and there were unshed tears swimming in them out of sympathy for Yuffie.

"It's going to be okay," Cloud said in the most comforting voice he could manage. Sometimes healing could be so fucking painful. But he knew it _would_ be okay, because he wasn't going to let anything happen like that again. He wouldn't survive the loss twice.

A tear slid down his own face at the broken noises that Yuffie was making half out of sorrow, half from joy. Zack pressed closer in response while Cloud just gathered them both up and pulled them into his arms properly before leaning back against the bed. The warmth was enough to put him to sleep, and he could hear the crying slowing down as the same happened to Yuffie. Zack pressed the side of his face to Cloud's chest and gave a slow nuzzle before closing his eyes.

Barely twenty minutes later, they were all asleep in the same position; Zack and Yuffie held tightly in Cloud's arms and his chin resting on top of Zack's hair.

* * *

Not for the first time, the mako in his body was something of a godsend as he wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as he should have been from a night sleeping in that position. As his eyes flickered open, he studied his companions and found them still laying in his arms. The warmth of their bodies left him lethargic and reluctant to move for at least awhile longer. Yuffie woke up just after Cloud, with Zack far too happy in the warm pile of people to be bothered responding to the light of dawn. She had many of the same habits he did from their time in AVALANCHE and fighting back Hojo's makonoids during their last year alive.

She just watched him quietly and didn't bother pulling away from the embrace. Cloud reached up and started petting her hair absent-mindedly as he stared off into space.

"What are we gonna do about him?"

Cloud instinctively knew she wasn't talking about Zack.

"I'm going to kill him," he said softly but seriously.

"We can't save him?"

Cloud looked down at her and raised an eyebrow. Yuffie had as much reason as Cloud to want Sephiroth dead. He'd conquered her homeland and, like he'd done to Cloud, killed her mother in one of the final assaults of the war. It had been something she confided in him long after the one they'd been fighting had been killed. Her mother was a proud Wutai fighter and was unwilling to accept Shinra's takeover. The death was what drove the wedge between her and Lord Godo that inspired Yuffie to leave Wutai as a teenager.

"Why would you want to?" he asked finally.

Yuffie looked away and an blank mask hid her true feelings. Even with no emotion being shown, she looked far older like that than her body should have allowed. "He's Vincent's son, you know."

Cloud nodded, even though he _hadn't_ known for sure. Vincent had never confided in him, despite Cloud's suspicions, but it made sense that Yuffie would know. And he could understand now why she wanted to save Sephiroth. Yuffie put Vincent above all others in her life. She was as much committed to protecting him as he had been to protecting her. Even if it would hurt her, she'd do what it took to allow Sephiroth to live so that Vincent wouldn't have to watch his own son die twice.

Not that Cloud suspected Vincent held many parental feelings towards the insane Sephiroth they had fought as AVALANCHE. The man was still too much a Turk for that; able to cut off his emotions when it was necessary. Anything Vincent had once felt or dreamed of for Sephiroth had died when Lucrecia did and his son was left in Hojo's hands to raise. Still, killing the last living link to his first love couldn't be easy, given how long Vincent had mourned her. Cloud couldn't say he would have been able to do the same if it had been him in that situation with Aeris.

"I can't promise that's possible, Yuffie. But... If you'd like, I can try."

"We," she corrected lightly. "It's not all on you, Cloud. You've got us, and Aeris. Hell, I'd say you probably could have all of AVALANCHE at your back. We didn't follow you for nothing, Cloud. We all believed it was what was right. Just because the dates have changed doesn't make them different people."

"I'm keeping Tifa out of this. I owe her that much," Cloud murmured while looking away.

"I've got feeling that Tifa will be the judge of that. Besides, I'm not sure Nibelheim is a better place for her. Bad shit seems to happen there pretty consistently." Cloud just shrugged as he couldn't deny that point. "So what about the redhead then? Rhapsododo or whatever."

Cloud actually laughed at the twist on the annoying Lt. General's name; it was fitting. "I don't know what to do with him. There is someone important to me and Zack who would be very hurt if I killed him, but he's a threat now that he'd degrading."

"Degrading?" Yuffie asked, curious.

"He's from Project G, which makes him like a weaker version of Sephiroth, just without the chemical stability. Nearly as crazy at the end too, if Zack's memories are accurate. The degrading is his body's healing slowing down to a near stop. It will be fatal if not cured. I just don't know how to fix it."

"Then don't. Stay out of it. He faded off into obscurity and then was forgotten after the war. He's not someone we have to save. He could be a liability if we _do_ ," Yuffie said both seriously and coldly. She clearly wasn't in Genesis' corner.

"Genesis is important to Angeal, another Project G SOLDIER. He's mine and Zack's mentor; okay, more Zack's mentor. But he's still important to us," Cloud said in frustration.

"What happened to him the last time?"

"He died."

Yuffie sighed and rubbed her eyes gently before responding, "Then maybe it's best just to let history play out. If they're from another Jenova project... Cloud what if she's able to control them if we were to save them both? We could be staring down _three_ Sephiroths if we don't let them die as they're supposed to."

"I'm not sure that Genesis did die the first time. But Angeal... he wouldn't do that."

"Yeah, and I'll bet Zack here would say Sephiroth wouldn't do that either based on how well they were getting along yesterday. Cloud... You did things under her control that I wouldn't have expected of you in a million years. Her control is too strong. If she can get into _your_ head, or Sephiroth's head, I'm not sure that there is anyone completely immune to her. You saw what happened with the clones. They all lost their minds when Sephiroth was off trying to end the world."

Cloud didn't say anything at that point. She was right. Keeping either of them alive would be risky, but Cloud just couldn't let Angeal die like that. And if Cloud didn't save Genesis, then Angeal _would_. None of it may matter anyway, because Cloud didn't have a damn clue how to stop the degrading and Zack couldn't remember everything yet.

"I'll figure something out," he said quietly when the silence became overwhelming. And he would; he'd have to before long.

"I know you will, but don't forget that I'm not some kid despite what body I'm stuck in. I've played this game before Cloud. You don't just have us for the fighting, you've got me for the planning too. Share the burden and then no matter what happens it's because of _us_ , and not all on you. Being the executioner can't be easy for you."

Cloud laughed sarcastically for a moment; playing executioner would be a whole lot easier than this. "You want to save Sephiroth, but not the others. How's that fair?"

"It's not. Because I'm human, you're human, and humans make biased decisions. If it were only me, I'd say throw them all in a pit and pour burning oil down their throats. Only reason I want to give Sephiroth even the ghost of a chance is for Vincent. But I'm not looking forward to the idea of having him alive even if we manage to save him. He'll be a walking, talking time bomb for the rest of his life. There's no reason to have to live with three of them around," she said in an unemotional tone.

"Only him and the one you always had to deal with."

"You're _not_ one of them, Cloud. Not even at the cellular level. Vincent had the notes from Hojo's experimentation on you, y'know. I gave them a few read-throughs on one of my bad days during the swarm's invasion. Hojo saw a difference in your Jenova cells compared to Sephiroth's. Something that made you respond less to her influence. He never figured it out before you went comatose though. Besides, you're talking like you've got J-cells now. Did Hojo already...?"

"Yeah," Cloud said while looking away slightly. He could see as Yuffie frowned out of the corner of his eye. "It doesn't matter what resistance I have or don't have; I still fell under her control once. That makes me no better than them in the end."

"You're stronger this time."

"I've got a lot more to _lose_ this time."

"We won't lose. We can't lose," Yuffie whispered as she squeezed his hand a little. "No matter what happens; it's always going to be us before them. Family first right?"

"Family first," Cloud echoed quietly.

"So I guess first order of business is to get this war over with. No chance in hell of Wutai recovering in time to be of use if we don't get this shit finished. What do you think? Straight path up through Hailei, send in a few 1sts to capture Tamblin? I could get you up there if it was a small enough group," she said, shrugging again.

"You're going to help _Shinra_ capture your homeland?"

"Wutai is screwed already. There's nothing we can do to change what's already in progress. Shinra has everything up to Kaisk and holds part of the western road? Even if all three Generals died tomorrow, it'd just be a waiting game till we got outlasted in the capital. It will save more of my people's lives if we just get it over and done with. I can start spreading word of silent rebellion and get them to believe in something a little more realistic. I'll bet you've already strong-armed Shrina younger into better terms for his Presidency."

"I've got him to agree to conditions if I kill his father. Reno is going to be killing Hojo as soon as he pops back up in Midgar. Once that happens, the power trade will happen quickly," Cloud explained.

Yuffie nodded stiffly as she continued, "Good. _I'll_ have a discussion with him on how this will work for Wutai. I can get them behind Rufus, if Rufus makes a show out of being different than his father. Just dropping mako use will be enough. My people will see it as a rebellion in and of itself. We'll just be playing puppet-master from behind the scenes."

Cloud flinched against his will at the word puppet, but it was only a tiny twitch of his eye. "I need to speak to Reeve. I just don't know how to get him working on a mako substitute. He claimed to be close to one before the swarm invaded—"

"He wasn't just close, he actually figured it out. Reeve was just waiting till it was certain to be sustainable before pitching it to the people. Apparently the water of Gaia is so deeply connected to the planet that there is actually mako in every body of water. It's mostly trace amounts, which is why we can drink it with no side effects, but the mako is different from refined mako anyway," she said while waving her hands like she was looking for a way to convey what she knew in an easier way.

"It's like, primordial mako. _Much_ stronger energy wise; much cleaner too. He managed to harvest it from the water using a filter made of extremely thinly sliced dead materia. Used to keep a jar of it on his desk. Stuff was bright blue instead of the normal green. Nonetheless, the water was fine and not toxic at all after the harvesting. From what he said, people had been filtering it out for years in bottled water, but just didn't know what they were dealing with."

"So, will it harm the Planet?" Cloud asked carefully.

"Nope. Or at least, Reeve didn't seem to think so. It's not mako from the Lifestream, so much as mako left over from when the Planet was created. There was enough to keep humans going for millions of years."

Cloud felt a little better at the knowledge that there was not only something out there as a mako alternative, but that now he didn't have to have Reeve start from scratch. "What's it going to take to get the world ready for it?"

"That's what had Reeve so excited. Any mako reactors built near water could just be converted to harvest the new stuff. So like Junon and Costa Del Sol. The other places could get one of Shinra's old pop-up reactors until a permanent one could be built. The whole world was already set up to receive mako power, so switching to a different type of mako wouldn't have any real issues in being adopted."

"With Shinra at full power, there wouldn't be any trouble building new reactors. They could throw one up in a few months when they were at their strongest." Yuffie made a noise of agreement. "Could you explain this to Reeve in a way to help him figure out how to discover this all over again?"

"You bet! I was the only one Reeve could ever get to sit still long enough to listen about the stuff. Guess it's a good thing I'm here now, huh?" she teased.

"You? Sit still? And here I was worried you broke your leg during the night and that's why you've got hopped up yet," Cloud said playfully. She just stuck her tongue out at him as Zack gave a small snore. Yuffie reached over and played with his hair as she giggled at the noise.

"So cute. He suits you, Cloud," Yuffie cooed sweetly.

"He's the better half."

"Well he sure thinks you hung the moon. I never met him this young. He was sixteen or seventeen, I think, around the time he captured Ft. Tamblin," Yuffie told him with a scrunched up expression of thought.

"You met him when he captured the Fort? Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Never seemed to be a good time for it. After I knew how much he meant to you, I figured bringing it up would just open up old wounds. It's not like I knew him well anyway. Just an acquaintance around the time that I was starting to leave Wutai. He left an impression...," she trailed off with a sad smile. "He could have killed me. I attacked him. But he just acted like I won the 'fight' and let me run off feeling like a hero. Figured any guy who would do that for a kid on the other side had to be a good guy."

"Sounds like Zack," Cloud said with a smile in his boyfriend's direction.

"Mm," Yuffie hummed in agreement.

Cloud spared her a glance and was overcome with sadness for the girl. It was so easy to forget, with her boisterous personality, that Yuffie had lost as much as he did in the last life. She just handled it better than Cloud did. The girl was very good at putting on a strong front, but it made sense why she took Aeris' death so hard. Losing so many of her people during the war, and her mother as well... It was a wonder that Yuffie was able to keep it all together.

"What about... your mom, Yuffie?" he asked gently.

She smiled bitterly and looked at him with sad eyes. "There's not a damn thing on the Planet that will save her. It wouldn't matter if the war ended today, tomorrow, or three years from now. As soon as Shinra reaches Hailei, she's going to fight till either Shinra loses or she draws her last breath. She was the one dumb enough to challenge Sephiroth one on one. How could she expect to win?"

"What if we got her to safety by force?"

"Not likely. She'll just try to kill you too. Wutai pride and whatever. I... Don't even really remember her very well," Yuffie sighed as she dropped her head back down to Cloud's chest.

Cloud didn't respond to that. He could understand though. He'd long buried the pain of losing his own mother in the burning of Nibelheim because he never thought he'd have to experience seeing her again. That's how grief was supposed to work. You mourn, then you move on. But when you're suddenly faced with the idea of seeing them again, how do you react to it? Yuffie had to have been an actual seven or eight year old when her mother died the first time. Now she was twenty in her mind, with a whole life behind her, and now she had to figure out how to see her mom again without breaking. Something told Cloud that Yuffie would likely just take after her husband and cut herself off before letting the pain get to her again.

"I'll be fine, Cloud," Yuffie muttered sullenly. "I'm pretty good at watching people die by now." Cloud just reached over and pet her hair again; Yuffie pressed into his hand closed her eyes. He carefully didn't react to the approach of Jenova cells he felt. From the strength, it had to be Sephiroth.

* * *

The knock at the door caused Yuffie to twitch in reaction, and Cloud stiffened; Zack just made a small noise of sleep and didn't move. Yuffie's eyes found his and there was a moment of silent communication. If they were going to try to save Sephiroth, then things needed to happen. And there was no time like the present. Cloud took a steadying breath before calling out, "Come in."

Sephiroth entered and looked around at the wrong side of the room before noticing the pile of bodies on the bed. An expression of confusion passed over his face before it settled into extreme bemusement.

"Am I... interrupting?"

"No. What do you want?" Cloud asked flatly.

"I wanted to hear your side of what happened after the bridge collapsed," Sephiroth murmured in a tone that could almost be called embarrassed. He plainly looked at Cloud's face only in an effort to avoid the awkwardness of their position.

"It collapsed. We hit water. I swam me and Yuffie to shore. She was unconscious; I gave CPR. We both passed out from exhaustion."

"You gave me CPR?" Yuffie whispered in a partially amused voice. "Aren't I bit young for you right now, Cloud? You had your chance onc—" She cut off as Cloud carefully elbowed her, but she still giggled slightly.

"Why were you so interested then in what I was feeling? I'd have assumed you felt something similar since you seemed to be looking for a keyword," Sephiroth asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You're wrong," Cloud said, deadpan.

The silver haired man just stared back at him intensely, like he was trying to force Cloud to reveal that was a lie. But Cloud was perfectly good at keeping his cool while holding the stare. Eventually, Sephiroth was the one to break it as he cast a quick glance at Yuffie, who glared right back at him.

"I see you've found a friend that dislikes me as much as you do. That's good. I've been told by Zackary that friendship is important," Sephiroth quipped wryly. Zack snorted in his sleep but otherwise didn't respond.

"Are you hearing any voices? One that no one else can hear?" Cloud asked suddenly.

Sephiroth looked taken aback by the direct question but answered anyway, "That's an interesting inquiry. No, I don't believe hearing disembodied voices is something I've ever experienced. Thankfully; I don't need any more reasons for doctors to want to prod at me."

"Good," Cloud said sourly. "If you ever do, I'd suggest telling someone. Preferably me."

"Why? Do _you_ hear voices, Strife? Is this connected to what happened to me?" Cloud didn't answer any of the questions. Sephiroth ultimately just glared in frustration before snapping, "Perhaps if you were to _explain_ to me what you mean when you give me these fascinating pieces of advice, then I'd be more inclined to follow them."

Cloud frowned, but had to concede the point. Finally, he decided to mutter, "It's what he wants."

Sephiroth perked up instantly and leaned in closer. "He?"

"Hojo. He wants us to hear things. He wants us to lose our minds. It's easier control something that isn't in control of itself."

"What exactly is this voice that he wants us to hear?"

Cloud looked at Yuffie who gave him a quick nod. He looked back at Sephiroth and said in a grave voice, "Jenova."

Something in Cloud's tone must have clued Sephiroth into this being an important conversation, because he reached back at latched the door before stalking towards the bed and crouching down. Cloud's fingers itched for his sword, but he didn't even have one anymore with his other being broken by Genesis.

"Explain," Sephiroth growled.

Cloud steeled himself and did just that.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed, more typos than usual likely. Dialogue and more Angst. Timeskip at the end.
> 
>  
> 
> Next Update: Oct 21

"Jenova cells are what he injected into me. Specifically the strain created when the ones injected into you prenatally mutated. They're called S-cells; S for Sephiroth."

"Jenova is my mother's name," Sephiroth said with a confused shake of his head.

Cloud sneered for a moment at the fact that Sephiroth could be so damn gullible, but his face smoothed when he thought about it. Who was he to judge if Sephiroth needed something like that to hang onto?

"That's not your mother's name. Your mother's name was Lucrecia Crescent. I don't know much else about her beyond that," he said with a shrug. Sephiroth looked at him in blatant shock. It was strange to see so much emotion so plainly on his normally calm face.

"And how... do you know this?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Sephiroth sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure I'll believe you if you _don't_ tell me."

"Nhn, don't take my—," Zack cried while sitting up abruptly from his sleeping position. "—um..brella...," he finished while looking around at the people staring at him. His boyfriend immediately turned a bright pink and laughed nervously. "I was... uh, fighting clones?" Cloud didn't say anything, but pulled Zack down into his arms again. The younger boy used this opportunity to burrow his face into Cloud's neck and hide. After a few seconds, he muttered into Cloud's neck, "Continue."

"Alright, how about: I can't tell you," Cloud said to Sephiroth without missing a beat.

"And why not?" Cloud just shrugged and didn't answer. Sephiroth growled under his breath and tried a different tactic, "Then who is or was Jenova?"

"What," Yuffie mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

She stared him in the eye and repeated, "I said 'what'. Jenova isn't a person. She's a _thing_."

"Jenova is a life form that fell to the Planet over 2000 years ago. Gast discovered it and mistook it for an Ancient. Somewhere along the lines Hojo or someone else got the bright idea to try injecting the cells from it into living creatures. Eventually, you were born from Hojo's project," Cloud explained.

"That sounds... familiar," Zack whispered, close to Cloud's ear, and he could feel the younger boy stiffen. "I don't like this conversation. What's going on?"

"I'm explaining to Sephiroth why he might be hearing voices."

"You're hearing voices?!" Zack shouted while pulling back again and staring at Sephiroth with half-crazed eyes. "Why didn't you—How could you— _Stay the fuck away from us_ ," he stuttered before growling so deeply that Cloud was momentarily stunned. Sephiroth looked confused too; just long enough for Zack to launch himself out of Cloud's arms, eyes glowing green from the mako, and right on top of the silver haired General. One hand went to trying to strangle Sephiroth while the other cocked back in preparation for a punch that didn't look like it was going to be friendly.

Cloud jolted up and grabbed Zack around the waist as carefully as he could while still getting control of the snarling SOLDIER.

" _No!_ Let me go! He's gonna burn it. I've—"

Realizing what was happening, Cloud pressed himself completely against Zack's back and whispered soothingly into his ear, "Shh. It's alright, Zack. We're not in Nibelheim. They're safe, we're safe. It's not going to happen."

"No...," Zack sobbed brokenly as the fight drained out of him. "Fire. Labs. _Bad_. All his fault. I couldn't save you—I failed."

"You didn't fail, Zack. You got me to safety, didn't you? But it won't matter; it's not happening again," he murmured as softly as he could to calm Zack down. Unfortunately, there was no way in hell he could talk low enough for the man beneath them not to hear with his enhanced senses.

"I thought you said he didn't remember?" Yuffie asked from behind him.

"I wasn't aware he'd remembered the Nibelheim incident," Cloud grumbled while petting Zack's hair.

"Perhaps it'd be best for you to tell me why Zackary suddenly wants me dead? What is this 'Nibelheim incident'?" Sephiroth demanded in a voice that made it perfectly clear that he was at least a little hurt by Zack's outburst. Cloud glared down at him from over Zack's shoulder. There went the chance at keeping him in the dark.

"Year 0002, you, Zack, and I are going to get deployed to Nibelheim to investigate the reactor. You and Zack will discover makonoids, humans that have been forcibly mutated by Hojo with high mako exposure, and you'll begin investigating the circumstances of your birth—," Cloud started only to be interrupted by Zack flailing around.

"No, no, no, _no_. Don't tell him. He'll hurt you. He'll hurt you again," Zack cried as he clutched at his head as though in pain. All Cloud could do was pull him close and try to comfort him physically.

"—But you," Cloud growled from the strain of trying to help Zack and explain simultaneously, "Are an idiot. So you read _only_ what Hojo wrote and some of Gast's theories and took it all as fact. During this time, Jenova was in the Nibelheim reactor and was able to invade your thoughts due to proximity to her whole body. Up till that point, you'd never been exposed to her completely. She had always been encased in a pod lined with lead. You lost it and," Cloud paused as Zack gave a last long whimper before collapsing in his arms, "And burned the whole town to the fucking ground."

Sephiroth's cat-eye pupils widened to almost natural circles at this and a mask of disbelief and horror came over his face. His hands clenched uselessly by his sides, and Cloud was very happy that he was unarmed today.

"I don't—I don't quite understand."

"That's why I hate you. Well, part of it. But that's what's upsetting Zack. That's why I asked if you were hearing voices; because, one day, you're going to and it's going to cost the world more lives than you could ever even imagine. And _I'm_ here to make sure that doesn't happen again."

Sephiroth's jaw tightened and he snarled back angrily, "If that was true, then why not just kill me to make _certain_ it won't happen. You..." He stopped abruptly and the anger that he'd latched onto faded away. "You were planning to kill me. That's why you were fighting the simulation. Then why—"

"Well, at least you have enough sense to understand that much," Cloud said with a frustrated sigh, "I'm not going to kill you unless you can't control yourself. As a favor to your father."

"Hojo?" Sephiroth asked, incredulous. Cloud just looked back at him like he was an imbecile.

"Vincent Valentine. Ex-Turk. Engaged to Lucrecia, and later killed by Hojo. Later still, revived by Hojo and used as blackmail to get your mother into Project S. He's alive, but don't expect a happy reunion."

"How can this be possible? How could I have _no_ knowledge of all of this?" Sephiroth demanded, taking on an expression not unlike a scared child.

"Because you weren't supposed to know," Yuffie said quietly. "Hojo wanted you to lose it. It was always the plan. You were just the pawn, which is why, when Cloud defeated you in 0002, Hojo tried to recreate you in _him_."

Cloud would have argued about the word choice of 'defeated', but Sephiroth seemed to realize something first and spoke up, "You say this happens in 0002, but how exactly do you _know_?"

"The world ended. I got sent back," Cloud said simply.

"You realize this sounds utterly insane, don't you?" Sephiroth accused even while his fingers dug tracks in the wooden floor beneath him. "If that's all true, then how do Zackary and this child know?"

Cloud frowned and looked between Zack and Yuffie. "Zack was sent back with me as part of my spirit. He's having trouble recovering his memories, but Yuffie... The day you lost consciousness, and the cliff collapsed, something happened. The water we fell into had dark Lifestream in it; something that only existed after _you_ died in my last life. I heard your voice in my head, which is nothing shocking, but I've not heard it since coming back. I thought at first that it would try to take over you, but all that happened was you passing out. Yuffie came back alongside it through a 'hole', or so she describes, in the Lifestream of the future."

Sephiroth didn't say anything, but appeared to be trying to process what he was just told. Cloud took the opportunity to lift Zack into his arms and off of the other man. He settled back down on the bed and cradled his shaking lover close to him.

"None of this makes any sense," Sephiroth whispered mostly to himself.

"Yeah, welcome to my world. I've been trying to piece everything together for a year. It's all too much to explain in one sitting, but do you have a general idea of what's going on now? Think you can manage _not_ to listen to any voices in your head?" Cloud growled while rolling his eyes.

Sephiroth looked up and his eyes found Cloud's. "She said that Hojo tried to recreate me in you. What does that mean?"

"It means that Zack and I spent four years under his 'care' after the Nibelheim mission. My blood type made me the ideal candidate to recreate Project S, but I ended up slipping into mako poisoning. Zack had broken us out and gotten me to safety by the time I came out of it. Between the hyper-exposure to mako and the injected S-cells, I became a your—," he choked a little before continuing, "clone."

"What does that mean?"

"It means Jenova could take control of me, and I possessed a similar level of strength as you. Most clones were numbered if they were considered partial successes, but because I went into the coma and didn't receive one," Cloud said while looking away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Sephiroth rubbing a thumb over where his own tattoo was.

 

> _"An incomplete Sephiroth-clone. Not even given a number. ...That is your reality."_

Cloud's fist balled tightly at the memory. He could practically hear that Sephiroth's voice, cold and taunting. Amused even at the irony of Cloud's life.

 

> _"What number were you? Huh? Where is your tattoo?"_
> 
> _"Professor Hojo... I don't have a number. You didn't give me one because I was a failed experiment."_
> 
> _"What the_ — _? You mean only a failure made it here?"_
> 
> _"Professor... please give me a number. Please, Professor..."_
> 
> _"I wasn't pursuing Sephiroth... I was being_ _**summoned** _ _by Sephiroth."_

Unable to take any more, Cloud's teeth clenched and he fought down the rising fury in his chest. Sephiroth noticed this and frowned. "But you weren't a 'partial success' were you? You were a full success. It's why you were able to survive if the world ended. If that's true, then why don't you look identical to me?"

"The human test subjects existing physical forms weren't changed beyond what was caused by mako enhancement. Our eyes changed when affected by Jenova, but not constantly. Though, when controlled, most clones threw on black capes without having any idea why. Jenova's preferred avatar was always you."

"Being sent back, you were clean of my cells, and when Hojo had you in the labs all those months ago, you were injected with them again. What will that mean for you?" Sephiroth mused seriously.

"That I need to still be careful of her influence."

"'You'll just strengthen her', Jenova is what you meant, isn't she?"

"Yes," Cloud said gravely. Sephiroth simply nodded.

"I get the distinct impression that you are leaving important details about my involvement this 'past life' out," Sephiroth sighed.

"Stop worrying about the life you might have had and start worrying about how you're going to ensure you keep the one you have now. Trust me, the person you were in our last life is no one you want to be now," Cloud bit out in irritation.

"I'm trusting you to tell me if there is something I need to know. I can't fight the influence of Jenova if I'm not given all the tools to do so. I'd truly rather avoid being killed," he said deadpan before looking at Zack with something akin to sadness in his eyes, "He despises me now as well."

"Zack doesn't hate you. He's just trying to protect me. It's all he knows how to do when faced with the idea of me getting hurt. The last time around, I wasn't in any position to defend myself," Cloud said while petting Zack's hair. The younger boy had fallen into a fitful sleep and was whimpering every now and then. The gentle contact woke his lover slowly, and Zack blinked the sleep away. His bright blue eyes were now unclouded by anger, but he looked supremely confused.

"Huh?" Zack murmured sleepily. Cloud smiled down at him; some of the tension of the situation draining away at Zack's return to wakefulness.

"Feeling better?" he asked tenderly.

"Mm, Zack-the-second is really nervous, but I don't think I'm going for blood anymore. What happened?" Zack mumbled as his eyes took on the look of a puppy who's toy was hidden from him. '

"More than a few of your memories came back at once and you got angry," Cloud said gently and Zack nodded as he put those pieces together. "I didn't know you were capable of being so angry at anyone but Hojo, Zack."

"He's not so much angry as he is scared. I don't remember what he remembered though. I think that's probably a good thing," Zack whimpered a little. "Sometimes the idea of remembering the stuff that makes him upset scares me too. I didn't know Aeris died until just yesterday. I had suspicions, but I didn't really _want_ to know."

Cloud bent down and kissed Zack's forehead. He could only imagine the pain it must be causing his boyfriend to be assaulted by the emotional response to memories he didn't even have. Zack might have even been better off never knowing of his past life for all the hurt it had contained. Still, he had faith that his lover would recover. Zack always found a way to bounce back.

A shrill ring cut through the contemplative silence that had filled the room. Cloud reached into his pocket and pulled out his PHS as he flipped it open.

"Strife," he muttered gruffly.

"Yo, Cloud. Gotta riddle for ya."

"Not _now_ , Reno," Cloud growled with a glare at the small device. Zack threw one of his own and Yuffie mirrored it.

"Naw, yer gonna _love_ this," Reno said with a snicker. "What's white and creepy and deader than hell?"

Cloud's heart started beating faster than he could remember in recent history and his mouth went dry. If what Reno was saying was true... That was half the battle already finished.

"Is he...?" he choked out.

"Hojo is dead as a fuckin' door nail."

"You killed him?" Cloud asked insistently as he sat up rigidly. Everyone else in the room looked up at Cloud with confused but interested eyes.

"Nope. Fucker gave himself a fuckin' heart attack. Found dead in his lab; face first on the floor."

"And you're _certain_ it's him," Cloud growled, willing the universe to _not_ be fucking with him today.

"DNA confirms it. So whaddya think, time-traveler? Ya make a butterfly flap his wings and change somethin'? Cause I'da thought you'd know if he was gonna bite the dust of natural causes."

"He didn't die like this the last time. You're sure—"

"One hundred and _ten_ percent fuckin' positive on the heart attack. Hojo's dead. So when ya get back to Midgar, I say we celebrate. You, me, Rufus, a pair of handcuffs, and a bottle'o—" Reno's voice cut off as Cloud hung up on him.

He fell back to the bed in stunned silence. Hojo was _dead_. And they hadn't had to do a damn thing. If that was true, then all that was left was to destroy Jenova and get Rufus the Presidency.

"Cloud? What's going on?" Yuffie asked, startled by his reaction.

Cloud actually grinned uninhibited at her as he said in a reverent tone, "He's dead." Yuffie looked like he'd told her she'd inherited his whole materia cache as she cried out in delight. Zack looked between them and Sephiroth sat up straight.

"Who?!" Zack demanded.

"Hojo. He's dead," Cloud breathed. Zack made a choked noise and fell right into Cloud's arms as sobs of joy wracked his body.

* * *

Sephiroth felt as though he'd barely avoided being struck by lightning at the pronouncement. Both amazed and slightly horrified, but more pleased than anything else. Hojo was dead? So now Sephiroth could look forward to a life free of experimentation and disturbing appointments. Liberated from being the Professor's 'project', he could be a human being. _Just_ a human being.

"How did he die?" he asked, needing to know.

"Heart attack," Strife purred, while nuzzling at Zackary's hair, sounding much happier than Sephiroth had ever heard him.

"That is... extremely convenient," Sephiroth pondered darkly. He wouldn't be able to completely believe till he saw the body. It needed to be verified before he was able to get his hopes up. "Suspicious even."

"Reno claims it's confirmed."

"You don't strike me as the type to accept someone else's word on such an important matter," Sephiroth pressed.

"I'll be investigating when I get back to Midgar, but, for now, I'm happy enough to accept some good news," Cloud said with relief lacing through his voice. He _did_ sound happy, and so Sephiroth figured it best not to try and poke holes in that for the moment. If Hojo turned out to be alive, then Strife would sink back into his regular sour mood soon enough.

Not long after hearing of Hojo's rather timely demise, he excused himself to better evaluate his feelings. A part of him was almost melancholy at the loss of the closest thing he had to a parent, despite the overwhelming knowledge that this was illogical. Hojo had never been a father to him, and now it sounded like he cost Sephiroth a chance to know his _real_ parents.

Still, he wandered around in a daze until he happened upon Genesis' quarters. Sephiroth almost walked right past them, but, hearing a minor commotion within, he knocked. No answer. Unnerved by the lack of response for some reason, though Genesis was known for getting lost in his wild thoughts, he pushed the door open and entered without permission. Genesis was not in the kitchen, nor the living room, so he walked carefully to the bedroom and pushed the door open.

The redhead was rolling around on the ground, as though in agony, clutching at his head with fingers crooked like claws.

"Genesis," Sephiroth hissed in concern as he knelt down beside his writhing friend. The man just hastily crawled away and glared at him from behind his hand. Sephiroth's face fell at the sight of the slitted green eyes staring back at him. Genesis had never shown sign of these eyes before. "Are you... alright?"

" _Out,"_ Genesis snarled viciously.

"Let me help you," he insisted as he reached out, desperate to help his friend even with no idea what was wrong in the first place.

"You can't help. No one can help. I—," Genesis' words cut off as his head bobbed forward and then slammed back into the wall behind him. Sephiroth dove forward and steadied his friend so he could look him in the eyes. As Genesis groaned from the pain, his eyes rolled slightly and returned to their normal shape and color. "Did you just... slam my head against the wall?" Genesis almost croaked at him, though his proud friend would never admit to it.

"...No."

" _Liar_ ," he whispered harshly before falling unconscious.

Now _what_ was wrong with Genesis? Should he tell Cloud?

 

> _"I'm not going to kill you unless you can't control yourself."_

No. Telling Cloud prematurely could sign Genesis' death warrant, and Sephiroth didn't even know if this was related. Though, how could it not be? There was no way to deny seeing the change in Genesis' eyes. But the real question was: why did it happen? Hojo had never had any interest in either Genesis or Angeal; preferring to stick solely to Sephiroth for experimentation. Genesis had always gone to...

Hollander.

Sephiroth knew where to look for answers, and something told him he'd need them soon.

* * *

But time passed, and nothing happened. The war dragged on, despite Yuffie's secret aid to their side, and little ground was captured as Wutai threw its full force against them.

Months slinked past, and, before long, they had been fighting for over seven months with no return to Midgar. Dates drifted past; Yuffie and Zack's birthdays, Christmas, and more. Zack and Cloud spent Valentine's day curled up in the tent they shared while pushing the road, just kissing languidly. Aeris' birthday had consisted of a long phone call and as much love that could be poured through a phone as possible.

Any hope Cloud had of investigating Hojo's death more thoroughly faded as each month drew to a close, but each one took a little more of his fear with it. It didn't look like Hojo was coming back, Sephiroth was still sane, and Genesis wasn't in dangerous levels of degradation yet. It was almost like the war had put the whole world on hold as they fought.

The time moved slowly though, and Cloud was forced to sit back and actually _watch_ Zack grow. From the first few missions that they completed together, capturing ground like they'd been born to do it, to watching Zack throw orders to SOLDIER 3rds as naturally as he ever had as a 1st.

Cloud was promoted to First class the day they took Hailei, as he charged alongside Sephiroth, cutting through Wutai's line of anti-SOLDIER monsters. Zack made First, a whole ton earlier than the last time, when Hailei was charged and he managed to fend off an entire side of the assault on his own.

Yuffie tagged along for a little while, but quickly realized her people weren't going to give up that easily. She caught a ride back to the Western continent after that and made her way to Midgar to see Aeris. She trusted Cloud and Zack to handle wrapping the war up as best they could. And besides that, she couldn't bear being there when her mother fell in the assault on Hailei. Wutai's Black Rose General fought valiantly to the very end, but still lost her life on the wrong side of a SOLDIER's sword.

Still, things felt good for a long time. Almost too good, as it left Cloud feeling lax and unguarded at times. The constant threat of Hojo's interference being gone was enough to let him stop and enjoy life a little.

But Cloud wasn't a fool. Hojo may have been confirmed dead by Reno, but the first thing the Turk had called him about afterwards was to inform him that Jenova was missing. Seven months and a whole lot of searching later, and still she was missing. Reno checked everywhere, from the Nibelheim reactor to every nook and cranny of the labs Hojo once ran, but found not a single trace of the alien life form.

On top of that, Genesis was still degrading, no matter how slow the onset was, and Cloud still didn't know what to do about that. The redhead had changed over the last few months as it was, and Cloud could only assume it was due to the degradation gaining speed in his brain. He withdrew, from everyone and everything, and spent many nights just muttering to himself from behind his copy of LOVELESS. Cloud often got the feeling that Sephiroth had a few clues as to what was going on with Genesis, based on the looks he threw him, but he never offered them up.

A bright spot was that Angeal sounded perfectly normal in Midgar, if a bit lonely, but that could all change if Genesis wasn't cured before things got really bad.

And Genesis' mental state _was_ getting bad. He threw glares at everyone that passed him and reacted little to everything else. What little patience he showed with Cloud initially had all but vanished by now, and they we're openly hostile at all times.

Cloud similarly had troubles of his own. His dreams were once again filled with Sephiroth and Jenova's murmurs every night. He couldn't get a night's sleep without hearing _one_ of them and, eventually, returned to the sleepless pattern he'd been so used to in his last life. It was a strange circumstance, because Sephiroth heard nothing similar. Cloud often wondered if the sound was coming from ingesting the dark Lifestream that day. Or if it was a warning.

Cloud dearly hoped that it was just a problem within himself, because, if it was a warning, then _nothing_ good could be coming their way.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra Unbetaed. Uncensored Version.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 23

The final month of their time in Wutai had been so busy that they had little, if any, time to worry. The Wutai forces were notoriously stronger when you had their backs against the ropes; and nothing had their backs against the ropes like capturing Hailei, a scarce few miles from the Capital. There had been little rest and more causalities than any other month in the war for the last five years.

Zack took to the chaos like a fish to water, despite Cloud's worries. The younger boy, no, the younger _man_ , took charge and corralled the weaker SOLDIERs under him. The inexperienced and the self-conscious ones drifted towards Zack's kind, but firm style of leadership that directed them through combat with ease. It was because of this that Zack was named a Sergeant First Class upon making First.

Cloud was a little different. He had more of a hand in the behind the scenes work that involved helping Sephiroth and Genesis plan their strategic assaults. It was one of the jobs that Zack often avoided out of boredom; no matter how hard Cloud tried to impress the usefulness of the skill on him. Cloud was adept at throwing orders, but tended to scare the less secure SOLDIERs with his harshness. It was all very amusing to Sephiroth, who apparently found joy in people fearing someone _other_ than him. Cloud was made a Sergeant Major when promoted.

Both ranks gave them serious pull over many older SOLDIERs in the army, and that wasn't without notice. Their youth was criticized endlessly and more than one insinuation of sexual favors for rank was thrown their way. Zack often took great offense, more often on Cloud's behalf than anything else, but Cloud paid it little mind. It didn't really matter what they thought; they would be obeying orders or getting shipped back to Midgar for disciplinary action.

Even still, their skills, hone in two lifetimes, put them _far_ beyond the pack on the battlefield. Zack excelled in keeping his men safe, and Cloud just cut through everything that got in his way. The wisest of their fellow SOLDIERs never once questioned why the two were being pushed through the ranks faster than they could even get out of teenage-hood.

That was, of course, because there were whispers circling that Lt. General Rhapsodos wasn't quite right in the head anymore. Many assumed Cloud and Zack were being bred as possible replacements; though they could never know that Sephiroth would hear none of it. It hadn't taken Cloud long to find that Sephiroth was as much committed to Genesis' safety as Angeal had been, now that he had been brought down to their level with repeated exposure to the two younger SOLDIERs.

It was a curious change, considering that Sephiroth had resisted Zack's friendship for some while the last time around. Perhaps they just caught him at a more impressionable time at twenty, because he responded like a wilted plant does to water whenever one of them gave him attention. Cloud found it almost pathetic in regards to his desperation, but never interfered from Zack's growing friendship with the older man. It took a lot out of Cloud to allow it, with the fear of Sephiroth just snapping one day never fading, but he knew in his heart how important Sephiroth had been to Zack once. He'd once believed it was _him_ Sephiroth was important to, after all.

With no room to push them apart, Cloud took to playing babysitter for the two men to make sure that everything went smoothly. It always did; though things may have gone even smoother if he'd not been there, but Cloud figured he was allowed to be selfish every now and then.

They returned, Cloud, Zack, and Sephiroth, to Midgar in April for leave and Cloud was infinitely grateful for it. He needed to get things done, but those thing couldn't happen in Wutai. Priorities had to be set.

* * *

"Nng, _fuck_ ," Zack groaned and thrashed against the bed. "Come on, Cloud. Please. Mm, _more_."

The first priority was to fuck his boyfriend half way through the mattress due to pent up sexual frustration.

Cloud grinned up at Zack mischievously from where he was licking and biting down his smooth chest. Zack's eyes were glassy and unfocused as Cloud dipped his head down to take him in his mouth. The younger man just groaned again and fisted a hand in Cloud's hair desperately.

"We— _Mm_ —did plenty of that in Wutai. Just screw me, please? Been waiting for what feels like _ever_ ," Zack gasped and panted.

"It's been a month, Zack," Cloud murmured unhelpfully against Zack's cock, causing his lover to writhe around. "We got some privacy when—"

" _Don't_. You'll ruin the mood. No names, just you and me. Now, please?" he rambled incoherently. Cloud, despite his protest, was more than happy to agree. Zack was already nice and loose for his fingers; his boyfriend having long ago learned the secret to forcing his lower body to relax for this.

Drawing back with a smirk at how disheveled his normally perfect lover could be in bed, he spread some lubricant over his own length and wasted no time in burying himself directly into Zack. The act was met with the most satisfied sound he'd ever heard out of Zack. Cloud smirked a little wider down at him. Lustful little creature.

Cloud didn't spare any time on getting straight to the point though. It had been far too long for them to play around with excessive foreplay on the first round. Zack might have spontaneously combusted if Cloud hadn't sped things up from then on.

Of course, Zack was always at risk for spontaneous combustion to Cloud. The war treated Zack's body very well and left him perfectly toned all over. Cloud had experienced similar, but it happened quicker due to his higher mako levels. The change wasn't as noticeable in him anyway; Cloud didn't build visible muscle very well.

That didn't mean it wasn't there. No, Cloud had plenty of muscle. It left their bed rocking dangerously as he thrust into the body below him. The headboard chipped paint off the wall, but he didn't care.

With First Class mako levels, Zack was more than sturdy enough for Cloud to be a little rougher now. He could still break him frighteningly easy if he tried, but the chances of him hurting him during 'normal' sex was slim to none. Zack seemed to enjoy the faster pace anyway; it suited his frantic need.

Speaking of Zack, his bright blue eyes got a cunning edge for a split second before Cloud felt them being flipped. Smirk never leaving his face, he let Zack do as he pleased as he fell back against the bed. His lover grinned down at him and rode him much faster than Cloud had even tried thrusting. Apparently even Cloud's upped pace was too tame for him.

Settling his hands on Zack's hips, he helped lift him up before bringing him back down on Cloud forcefully. A delicious whine rose from Zack's throat at the brutal depth that Cloud was able to reach like this. Still, he didn't stop Cloud, so Cloud didn't hold back.

"Love you," Zack mumbled between breathy gasps.

"Love you too, Zack," Cloud purred and drove even deeper. Zack's eyes rolled back in his head and he collapsed; letting Cloud flip them back over. His black haired lover just pouted, though it was shaky from lust.

"You never let me be on top for long— _Gaia_ —, it's not fair," Zack whined.

"I prefer to be in control. If you want to be on top, then you'll actually have to _top_ ," he said sweetly even as he reached a fever pitch in his motions. He doubted that Zack even processed what he said as the younger man just tossed his head back against the bed. Cloud took the opportunity to leave bite marks all the way down his throat and sucked roughly on his collarbone.

Zack, overcome with all the sensations, wrapped his legs around Cloud's waist and let out a final cry as he came. Cloud pressed his forehead directly against Zack's and stared intensely into Zack's lovely eyes as he gave his final thrusts before succumbing to his own orgasm. Zack's lips tilted up and caught his mouth in a soft kiss that offset the so good it was almost painful release.

Cloud smiled into the kiss and didn't break it after he was finished. He pulled out slowly, leaving Zack to moan a little at the loss, but kept kissing into Zack's mouth. His young lover reached up and wrapped his arms around Cloud's neck in response; leaving them utterly entangled.

Zack fell asleep like that, comforted by Cloud's closeness; Cloud just rolled over and pulled Zack on top of him. He wasn't going to be sleeping anyway, so he may as well make Zack comfortable. Instead of searching for not-so-blissful unconsciousness, Cloud just spent the next few hours petting Zack lovingly. Being a chronic insomniac wasn't nearly so bad when he had something else to occupy his time.

* * *

Sephiroth had one goal from the moment he set foot in Midgar: Find Hollander. This proved unfortunately difficult as Angeal ambushed him almost immediately after exiting the helicopter. He arrived a little later than the other SOLDIERs, including Cloud and Zackary, so Angeal was left waiting for him alone.

"Sephiroth!" the other man greeted as he moved to squeeze his shoulder.

At this point, however, Sephiroth was used to Zackary's standard form of greeting after more than a week of no contact, which was to hug. It left him awkwardly putting his arms around Angeal, only not to be embraced back because Angeal had never seen him hug _anyone_.

More than slightly embarrassed, Sephiroth went to drop his arms. Angeal blinked once, twice, then enveloped Sephiroth in a hug that would likely break a smaller man's ribcage. Sephiroth just smiled slightly and returned the gesture. Angeal almost looked overwhelmed at the contact, probably excited to see the normally cold man express any level of affection; he could thank Zackary later.

"It's good to see you, Angeal," he said smoothly as the broke apart, and it _was_. So many months of a brooding Genesis and Sephiroth was glad for some happier companionship. Though the prospect of seeing less of Zackary was almost sad.

"I see Pup has gotten to you. No one else could teach you to give a good hug like that in under three years of training," Angeal joked as they walked off the helipad.

"Yes; Zackary has been a delightful addition to the dreary camp. I'm just left speculating how someone like Cloud Strife managed to secure such a man with so little personality," Sephiroth said lightly, though Cloud wasn't there to hear it. It had become a small game between them to see who could provoke anger faster. Regrettably, when Cloud figured it out, Sephiroth often lost.

"Don't let Cloud hear you say that. Zack's his everything. I trust you managed not to kill either of my students?"

Sephiroth's good mood declined a bit at the joke. If only Angeal knew that was apparently something he'd have to be careful of avoiding. Though the idea of harming either of them left Sephiroth sick to his stomach. He may not like Strife, but he felt a certain level of camaraderie if only because they both knew what it was like to be lab rats. Cloud had gone above and beyond his usual levels of control to make sure he didn't sow needless enmity between them lately. The other man did deserve credit for trying. If everything he said was true, then Sephiroth likely didn't even deserve that much.

It was a bitter pill to swallow to try and poke any hole in Cloud's story he could find, but turn up empty handed. It meant that the chance he'd _actually_ done something heinous, enough to make someone as magnanimous as Zackary Fair hate him, was high. There was no worse feeling in the world given how affectionate the other SOLDIER was with him. Sephiroth had spent a lifetime longing for friends, and the idea of betraying one of the few he had was devastating.

Nothing showed on the outside, naturally, because Sephiroth was king at hiding his emotions. Or perhaps, second only to Cloud.

In fact, it was becoming annoyingly apparent that Sephiroth was second only to Cloud in _many_ things. Emotion control, tactics, and now _fighting_ was in question. The SOLDIER fought with an ease that Sephiroth knew only from experience. Others marveled at it; most envied it. Sephiroth wanted to know where it came from, but asking about the past, or rather future, was a sore subject between them. Nevertheless, he got the distinct feeling that, with a better sword, Strife would be on par with him.

It didn't take him long to figure out that Cloud had been concealing the bulk of his strength during his first deployment. Now, with Sephiroth in the loop, Cloud had little reason to hide that he was perfectly capable of going toe to toe with him and holding his own. Sephiroth hadn't known fear for many years, and still didn't, but Cloud had better chance than anyone else of inspiring it in him.

Zackary wasn't weak either. With a better understanding of where his knowledge base was coming from, he recognized the greatness in the young man quickly. Zackary was a natural born leader and operated much more effectively on the field than any of the senior SOLDIERs.

"I hear you promoted them both," Angeal said offhandedly, ignoring that Sephiroth never answered his last question. "Are you sure they're ready for it?"

Sephiroth snorted slightly. The war was nearing its end now. Without Strife, they could have easily been there another year or more. "Positive."

"Sergeants? Both of them? That's a pretty damn high jump, Sephiroth," Angeal said slowly. Sephiroth could tell that the other man neither agreed with the push on the young men nor approved of the perceived favoritism.

"Strife planned the capture of most of the holds almost exclusively. I eventually learned to not bother questioning his tactics; I was always wrong. Zackary proved to be a flawless leader on the field. I don't believe he ever lost a man while pushing the road to the Captial."

Angeal looked impressed despite himself. "Alright then. Still, they're very young..."

"They can handle it. You'll just need to trust my judgment," Sephiroth almost teased.

"You're in bright spirits. I'm glad to see it," Angeal laughed, catching Sephiroth's tone. They smiled at one another for a moment before Angeal sobered slightly. Sephiroth did as well; he knew what was coming next. "What's wrong with Genesis?"

Sephiroth opened his mouth to answer but found his throat refusing to work. He cleared it and tried again, "He's... under a lot of stress from the war. Strife's battle prowess knocked him down a few pegs and I think it took a toll."

Angeal didn't buy it. Sephiroth didn't think that he would. After all, he knew Genesis better than anyone. He frowned ominously and said, "Bull. What's wrong with him? You lying to me isn't going to convince me he's alright."

"I... Don't know," Sephiroth admitted somewhat pathetically. Genesis' changes took a toll on more than just the redhead. Sephiroth felt like he was slipping between his fingers and he didn't even know _why_. All he wanted was to help Genesis, but the other man avoided him like the plague now. More than once, Sephiroth considered asking Cloud for help, but the fear that Cloud would simply eliminate Genesis to prevent any mishaps weighed heavily on his mind. There was no doubt at all that Strife was more than willing to get rid of obstacles if he couldn't go around them.

Angeal's face became sympathetic and he wrapped an arm around Sephiroth's shoulders. It was a little shocking, if Sephiroth was honest, because Angeal had never tried to touch him more than necessary in the past. Perhaps Zackary left some sort of visible mark that deemed him capable of accepting physical comfort now.

"It's alright, Sephiroth. I know you like to try to fix everything on your own, but this isn't one of those things. I've been worried about him lately. Whenever we talk he just isn't himself anymore," Angeal sighed while squaring his shoulders. "I'm going to Wutai. Next week."

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at that. "You hate being deployed," he said matter-of-factly.

"Yes, but I hate the sound of Genesis' misery even more. I'm going to go try and cheer him up a little. He doesn't have any stake in trying to outdo me; he knows it's a game I won't play. Maybe that will let me get closer to the real issue than you could."

"Perhaps," Sephiroth agreed. And it was true; Angeal _did_ have a better chance of unraveling Genesis' mental state.

"Keep it a secret from the Pups, would you? I want their first few days back to be good. I'll let them know before I go," Angeal asked, conspiratorially. Sephiroth smirked and nodded slightly in agreement. Angeal smiled slightly and then a look of contemplation crossed his face. He paused and schooled his features into a neutral mask before continuing, "So, you know about Hojo then?"

Sephiroth forced the smirk to remain on his face. No reason to worry Angeal further. "Yes. Wonderful news, isn't it?"

Angeal relaxed and smiled again. "I never thought I'd be happy to say someone was dead, but he deserved it. A heart attack, can you believe it?"

"Barely," Sephiroth responded lightly. Truth was, the more he thought about it, the less he _did_ believe it. Though the man had been 'dead' for five months with no reappearance, Sephiroth was still skeptical about his death. It was too convenient.

"Hollander came as a big surprise though. I would have expected him to be overjoyed at the prospect of taking over the lab," Angeal said with a shrug.

Sephiroth stopped walking and looked Angeal with shocked eyes. "Hollander?"

Angeal blinked and stared at him. "You didn't know? Hollander committed suicide about a week after Hojo died. I didn't tell you or Genesis because I didn't really want him to hear the news over there. You mean word really hasn't spread?"

"I'd only heard about Hojo. Explain," Sephiroth demanded. Angeal looked a little taken aback, so Sephiroth breathed in and out slowly before calming himself. On the outside at the very least. "Forgive me. I just find it... suspicious."

Angeal nodded slowly and explained, "Yeah. Hollander hung himself in his lab. No one knows why; there was no note. Some word is going around that the company wasn't happy with what they were paying the science department, so they just took the both of them out. I'm not complaining. Hollander's tests grated on our nerves as much as Hojo's did yours."

If Sephiroth hadn't been convinced that Hojo's death contained foul play before, he was now. There was _no_ way that both of the high ranking scientists for Shinra would die within a week out of coincidence. But this _could_ mean that Hojo's death was genuine, for whatever reason it had occurred. That was a small comfort at least. Smaller still when he realized he now had no one else to ask for answers about Genesis but Cloud. He would have to figure it out on his own or hope that Cloud was willing to hear him out before assuming the worst of his friend.

* * *

Cloud was terribly bored now that he was back in Midgar. Rufus was still playing political games to win the vice-presidency, so that phase of the plan couldn't begin yet. Aeris and Yuffie weren't even in Midgar at the moment. The girls had set off several weeks ago to Mideel to search for a cure for the degradation. Aeris had a theory about the small town given it's closeness to the Lifestream, but that was all they had. Letting them go had been both agonizing and yet not even his place to order them to do otherwise. Both girls, despite their younger ages, believed themselves more than capable of protecting themselves on the journey. Cloud knew that they were, both could wield weapons just fine, but it wasn't easy to agree over the phone with no way to guarantee their safety. Even still, he didn't own either of them, so their choice was entirely their own.

Today Zack was hanging out with Angeal and Sephiroth in VR training, but Cloud had enough of the silver haired General for the near future as it was. He had to see his damn face in the mirror every morning again after all. He was enjoying his days away from him.

With nothing else to do, Cloud decided to visit Reeve. Luckily, his rank now allowed him to move through most of the building with ease. Getting to Reeve's floor was as simple as getting on the elevator and sliding his ID.

The floor belonged entirely to Reeve, despite his limited position of power within Shinra. His part in designing the mako reactors had earned him a permanent place among the company. He was too valuable to let go.

Cloud walked through the maze of robotic parts and half-completed projects in search of the man. It was clear he didn't get many visitors. Reeve was nowhere to be seen, but Cloud could hear his heartbeat; he was here.

"Oh. Hello," Reeve's calm voice came from Cloud's left.

"Hello," Cloud greeted lowly.

"What's a SOLDIER First doing up here? I'm not behind on any paperwork, so I don't think you'd have a reason to rough me up," the man said in good humor as he moved around to shake Cloud's hand.

Cloud couldn't help the small smile that formed on his face; Reeve never changed. The man was always unfailingly polite when in his human form. Sometimes, Cloud wondered if Cait Sith was Reeve's way of saying all the things he couldn't as a person.

"Reeve Tuesti," he said good-naturedly as he shook Cloud's hand firmly.

"Cloud Strife. I'm here with an odd request," he started slowly.

"Well, I'm the king of granting odd requests. I'm sure we'll be able to figure something out."

"I need you to research a mako alternative." Subtlety was not Cloud's strong suit. Reeve's eyebrows went up to his hairline.

"That _is_ an odd request. But I'm intrigued. What's a SOLDIER need with a mako alternative?"

"Mako is draining life away from the Planet. Rufus Shinra aims to institute a new standard when he becomes President—"

Reeve smiled enigmatically and cut him off, "You speak like that will be soon. Are you sure you can trust me, 'Cloud Strife'?"

Cloud shrugged with a little smile. "Let's just say I've been told you're a man with good intentions. The alternative I want you to investigate is clean energy. It won't take from the Planet and should ensure that the world can keep running smoothly without mako."

"And Rufus Shinra wants this researched?" Reeve asked a little doubtfully, but Cloud could see the gleam in his eye. Reeve was Reeve no matter what age he was; the man instinctively wanted to help people.

"Rufus Shinra wants it researched because _I_ want it researched. He and I have a... business deal going. When he becomes President, he'll look after the people better than his father."

"What does he get in return?"

Cloud smiled a little sharper before answering, "I can't say. But you can trust me. The innocent people of the Planet are my concern."

Reeve's smile turned a little sad as he sighed and shook his head. "And how many innocent people will die to achieve your goals? I am going to assume I'm speaking with an eco-terrorist, which I can understand the viewpoint. Shinra harms the Planet, and people need somewhere to live, so down with Shinra. But life doesn't work like a machine. It's unpredictable and wild. Many times, those with the best intentions get the most people caught in the whirlwind of their plans and those people get hurt. Which is the lesser of two evils?"

Cloud frowned finally. Reeve was intelligent and, most of all, he was right. AVALANCHE cost hundreds of lives when they blew up the reactors in Midgar, and Cloud had been a part of that. For money, which made it even worse. For all their bravado about saving the Planet, AVALANCHE more than earned their 'terrorists' titles.

"The whole point of this is to avoid just that. I don't want a scene. A gentle transition will prevent the uprising of groups looking to dismantle Shinra altogether. I'm not looking for revolution; I'm just looking for change. That's why I'm here. Siding with the lesser of the many evils," Cloud explained carefully. Reeve was a good enough man to take him seriously despite his age and profession, and Cloud was grateful.

Reeve looked at least partially convinced when Cloud was done and his smile returned to its happy state. "Alright then. Give me everything you've got on this alternative and I'll look into it. Can't be any worse than what they've got me doing up here as is. I spend half my time yelling at robots and the other doing paperwork I'm convinced belongs to other departments."

"Apparently it's some type of 'primordial mako' that you can take from the water on Gaia using a dead materia filter. I don't have many details on it, but a friend of mine seems to know quite a bit. She... knew the person who discovered it better than I did. All she told me was that it could be taken from the water without affecting its purity and that it was stronger than normal mako," Cloud offered somewhat unhelpfully. He wished he'd asked Yuffie for more details. Nevertheless, Reeve seemed to understand.

"I see," Reeve whispered almost reverently as he moved quickly to a computer. "So I was _right_. Who did you say discovered this?"

Cloud blinked in shock. Reeve already knew? He supposed that wasn't too surprising. The man was notoriously quiet about the cards in his hand and possessed a poker face better than Cloud had ever seen.

"...I don't know his name," Cloud said lamely. "But my friend said he was inspired by your design of mako reactors. He's... dead. That's why I'm here. I figured if anyone could continue his work—"

"Continue it? I've been theorizing about this for years! I'm elated to know I wasn't alone in my suspicions. A shame about this other man; I'm sure he would have been brilliant conversation. A materia filter you say? Yes... _Yes!_ If sliced just thinly enough—Materia collects mako, you see. It's how pillars of materia form naturally. Mako drips down and sticks to the formed materia, making it bigger. A thin filter of matiera could allow the water to pass through while collecting the mako! How fascinating."

Cloud had to smile at the man's enthusiasm. Sometimes it was a shock how much more pleasant people seemed this time around. Zack must be changing him for the better; before this show of energy would have likely grated on Cloud's nerves.

"So you think you can figure it out?"

"I make no promises, but you have given me the tools to get started. If I could speak to that friend of yours..."

"She's not in town at the moment, but as soon as she gets back I'll bring her here," Cloud offered before stopping. He couldn't bring Yuffie into the Shinra headquarters. "Er—Maybe you could come to see her? She's from Wutai and not likely to receive a warm welcome."

"Yes, yes, of course. I understand," Reeve assured before looking him over once. "Odd that a SOLDIER should be friends with someone—"

"I'm not your average SOLDIER," Cloud explained firmly but with a disarming smile. Reeve seemed to understand and returned it evenly.

"So be it, Mr. Strife. You've given me the most interesting project I've received in five years or more. I'll work through this as quickly as possible. Hopefully by the time Rufus becomes President, I'll have some good data. By the way, you do look awfully like him. Am I to assume you're like Lazard?"

"Lazard?" Cloud questioned dumbly.

Reeve looked a little abashed at that. "Forgive me; that was rude. I shouldn't have assumed..."

"Rufus and I are half-brothers," Cloud said while choking out the last word. "But don't spread that around. It's not common knowledge. Lazard is...?"

"Also one of President Shinra's sons. A mother under plate I believe. It's not a well-known fact, but I tend to hear things," Reeve explained.

Cloud frowned and looked at the ground with narrowed eyes. If Lazard was another son like them, then Cloud would either need to bring him into the fold or keep an eye on him. It didn't help that Cloud didn't know a damn thing about what happened to the man. All he could remember was that he disappeared at some point and never returned. Safe to assume the Turks took him out then. The man was likely too close to the Presidency for Rufus' comfort.

"Thank you, Reeve," Cloud said finally while looking at the other man gratefully.

Reeve smiled at him again and nodded in his direction. "My pleasure, Mr. Strife. Do feel free to visit when you get the urge. I'd like to hear more about this mysterious man who discovered this mako."

"We'll see," Cloud ended with a smirk.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Dark. Angst. Death.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 25

Two weeks into their leave, Cloud was already stir-crazy.

It was almost enough to make him question how he never managed to lose his mind after killing Sephiroth the first time. Cloud didn't do well when forced to stay in one place for very long without fighting to burn his mako energy off. It's part of the reason family life had never been suitable for him.

Angeal had shipped off to Wutai early this week, and Cloud wasn't happy about it. The man hadn't told them till the night before leaving and by then it was too late to convince him to stay. Even Zack seemed to understand that keeping Angeal and Genesis apart was the current goal. Now all they could do was hope that Genesis was stable enough until Angeal got sick of the war game and came home. On the bright side, it seemed they still had enough time for that.

Cloud was still out of options for spending his free time in Midgar. At first he spent a good chunk of it with Reeve, but that got old quickly when he realized he didn't have the mind for the scientific rambling. The girls wouldn't be back for a few more weeks yet, and spending time with Reno was grating on his nerves.

"Ya seem ta like my company less an' less each day, Cloud," the redhead taunted from Cloud's right.

"Is that so?" Cloud asked in an almost viciously sweet tone.

Reno didn't respond but grinned sharply back at him as he pressed his hand more firmly into the head of hair between them. The other man just screamed again, but the water he was being held under muffled the sound. It was a cruel way to kill someone, but Cloud didn't mind for the man in question. He would have even volunteered to be the one to hold him under if Reno didn't enjoy it so much.

The young man's hands were tied behind his back with razor wire, which left the ground slick with blood. His SOLDIER levels of mako caused the wounds to slowly close around the wire just to be reopened as he struggled. Things were taking awhile; so much so that Cloud wondered if Reno was allowing the man to get gasps of breath to prolong the killing.

"Just finish this, Reno," Cloud sighed, growing bored. Torture wasn't on his list of favorite activities.

"Thought ya said I could make 'im suffer a bit?"

"This isn't a 'bit'. I've got other stuff to do today."

"Yer a fuckin' liar. Walkin' a track through your floor ain't 'stuff'. I find this pretty fuckin' fun, thank you very much. More blood wouldn't be too bad though...," Reno said in a speculative tone with an appraising eye cast at the struggling SOLDIER 3rd. "What'd this fucker do to ya anyway?"

"Nothing. Yet," Cloud admitted cryptically. Reno just raised an eyebrow with a grin.

"Pre-emptive, eh? I can't complain. I was just on guard duty today. Sucks fer you, kid!" Reno purred down at his prisoner who gave one last long thrash before going limp. Reno didn't pull his head above the water yet though, likely making certain that the SOLDIER was dead. A moment later he was satisfied and let go of the hair he'd been gripping. The SOLDIER just continued to lay face-first in the pink-tinged water.

Cloud stood and wiped his bloodied hands on his fatigues. Facing Reno, he extended one hand and the redhead shook it happily. "Thanks for being an insatiable sadist, Reno," he said, smirking.

"Always a pleasure, Cloud. Call me again if ya want someone taken out."

"Sure."

* * *

He went home and changed after that. Zack was still out with friends, which a gave him plenty of time to dispose of his blood-soaked clothing. Cloud wasn't keen on Zack knowing about his activities for the day. Better for him to just assume his 'friend' had defected out of the blue or been killed on a mission. Maybe he could get Reno to spin a tale for him. An alibi couldn't hurt if nothing else. He didn't think anyone saw him with the dead SOLDIER, but he liked to err on the side of caution.

Zack knowing Cloud wasn't above cold-blooded killing was something he definitely didn't want. His boyfriend was far too sensitive and forgiving to give even Cloud a complete pass on it. Drowning another SOLDIER would definitely be reaching into serious relationship trouble if Zack was to find out before remembering everything from their past. The older Zack would have overlooked it; maybe even condoned it given what the other man would one day do to them. But Zack wasn't the same as his former self yet.

Cloud didn't like lying to Zack, but that didn't mean he couldn't or wouldn't do it.

Cleaned up, he laid down in bed and stared at the ceiling. He'd been lying to Reno when he claimed to have other things to do; in fact, Cloud was completely out of things to do. Seeing Reeve would do nothing, and the other man now had two projects to mess with.

A discussion a few days back revealed the man to be surprisingly knowledgeable on biology and cellular structure. It was apparently a hobby of his, though he was by no means a scientist. Still, Cloud endured a mako draw to let Reeve do some investigating on his Jenova cells.

The first needle they tried wasn't the right one for someone of his enhancement and actually broke. Cloud managed to acquire one that would normally be used on Sephiroth, and they used that. It had been annoyingly large and Reeve could easily see that he wasn't fond of them. The man had been sympathetic and completed the draw quickly. Now he was doing his best to research Cloud's J-cells while keeping up with his mako alternative research.

The door opened from the living room and Cloud smiled slightly at the knowledge that his lover was home. He had become desperately clingy lately from all their time spent apart. It was a strange sensation for Cloud, who was used to being a loner, but it wasn't unpleasant. Zack was always worth his time.

"Cloud? You home?"

"In here," he called to Zack.

A second later, Zack appeared in the doorway with a huge grin. Cloud held up a finger and beckoned him closer. He wasn't quite able to pull off a 'come hither' look, but Zack didn't seem to notice. He all but threw himself into bed with Cloud and squirmed his way into his arms. Cloud smiled softly and pressed a kiss to Zack's forehead. His younger lover let out a small whine and tugged him down for a proper kiss. It was a very good thing that he had Zack around, because at least sex never got boring.

* * *

As it happened, Genesis only remained in Wutai another month before returning to Midgar at the end of May. Angeal remained behind in Wutai to keep things running smoothly until someone could take over in his place. Sephiroth wasn't quite ready to return yet, so it looked like he'd be there at least a few more weeks. The Silver General seemed to be looking to finish his investigation of Hojo's death, or so it seemed as he called Cloud and Zack into his office.

"I need to go to Nibelheim," he started slowly.

Cloud didn't need to hear anymore. "No."

Sephiroth sighed heavily and continued, "I had a feeling you'd say that. Hojo's laboratory where he spent the last few months of his life is there. I need to see it to conclude this investigation. Nothing in Midgar has returned sufficient evidence."

"You're not going."

"I—"

"I don't care. You're _not_ going. I've got family in that town and, the last time you set foot there, you burned it to the ground killing all of them," he snarled.

"Then what do you propose? Just ignoring what could be the biggest cache of knowledge on Hojo's work on the Planet? I'm aware of the risks; I can handle not listening to voices in my head."

Cloud frowned without responding for a moment. Nibelheim _would_ need to get visited, but he couldn't risk Sephiroth going there. "I'll go," he announced finally. Sephiroth sighed again and rubbed at his eyes like he expected this would be the suggestion.

"Fine, but I expect a full report when you return. I want Zackary to go with you as well. Between Hollander and Hojo's death, I don't think everything happened without outside influence."

Cloud had to agree. Hearing that Hollander died after Hojo had been a shock and left him questioning what was going on behind the scenes, but, with no other signs, he had nothing to base his worries on.

* * *

It was a week later that they set off to the mountain village. Zack, although excited to meet Cloud's mother, was extremely subdued by the journey. He didn't have to be told the whole story of Nibelheim to know that nothing good happened there. His memories of the town were enough to prove that to him.

Cloud was equally as quiet as they closed in on his hometown. He couldn't sense the pull of Jenova cells coming from the village, but that didn't mean anything; they already knew the reactor was empty. It would, at least, give him a chance to get Vincent out. Yuffie would appreciate that.

Arriving in the little town, he was immediately met with the awed stares of all of his former neighbors. Apparently, the idea of Cloud _actually_ making SOLDIER was hard for them to swallow. Some of the other boys from his childhood, bullies who made his life a living hell, just stared and pressed their backs firmly to the wooden buildings behind them. Cloud almost smiled at the fear he could smell wafting off all of them; almost.

Zack looked around with wide eyes that were caught somewhere between terrified and excited. Cloud surreptitiously squeezed his hand to comfort the younger man. Zack squeezed back a little tighter.

"See you've grown up, Strife," one man said with a nervous laugh and a quick glance at his sword.

Cloud just rolled his eyes, not bothering to disguise it, and walked briskly in the direction of the mansion. He could do the meet and greet thing _after_ business was done.

That didn't quite work out though, as Tifa ran into them before they reached their destination.

"Cloud!" she cried in joy. Cloud smiled awkwardly as she rushed forward and pulled him into a hug. "It's so good to see you! You should have written me; I didn't know you'd be coming home. How are you? You look really, really _good,_ " she said with a small giggle and her body swaying playfully as she pulled away. Zack looked on in offended silence at her blatant flirting. If Cloud had to guess, her age was the only thing keeping Zack quiet right now.

"Uh, hey Tifa. How have you been?" he asked softly while taking a small step back towards Zack. Only his enhanced hearing allowed him to hear the small growl Zack let out under his breath. Cloud actually couldn't quell the smirk that rose up at knowing his boyfriend was at least slightly jealous.

Tifa smiled brightly as she responded, "I've been wonderful! I've missed you though."

Cloud could have laughed at that. It's not like they'd been friends growing up; no matter what Tifa called them when explaining their connection to strangers. But for her sake, still feeling guilty for how he failed her in the future, he just smiled back at her and said, "That's good. Hey, do you think we could talk after we complete our mission? We've got to get into the mansion and I want to do it before dark. I'll be at my house afterwards and we can catch up."

Tifa nodded happily. "Sure thing. You'll have to introduce me to your friend too! Be safe, I'll see you soon."

Cloud relaxed as she ran back into the heart of town a moment later. Zack was in a full on pout as soon as her back was turned. Cloud just smiled knowingly and pressed a kiss to Zack's lips to dispel the upset expression.

"You didn't mention she was so pretty," Zack mumbled sullenly.

"She's not my type, Zack. Trust me; I had plenty of chances," Cloud assured him as they returned to their journey up to the mansion.

The mansion was a little less rundown this time around and had an air of being lived in recently. No more dust coated the various surfaces and no monsters roamed the halls, though Cloud could distinctly hear Lost Number above them. He led Zack up to where he could hear the oversized monster prowling around behind a locked door. The locked door containing the key necessary to get down to the labs.

Throwing the door open, they took Lost Number by surprise and managed to kill it easily. Cloud didn't pull any punches; the damn thing got him beat half to death by Mr. Lockhart the last time he tangoed with it. While Zack stood over it's still twitching body, he grabbed the key from the safe. He snatched the Odin materia for good measure.

They made their way down to the passageways below the mansion. Zack started looking around rather frantically at the various walls like they were just going to jump and grab him.

"I remember this place," he whined pathetically. Cloud frowned in sympathy. It was not a place he wanted Zack to remember at all.

"Try not to think about it, Zack," Cloud comforted softly.

The labs were even worse on Zack's mood as the younger man just drew in on himself as tightly as possible. Zack's eyes roamed from the scattered instruments to the empty mako tanks they had once spent so many years in. He crept closer to one and ran his hand over where his message would have been scratched into the glass.

Not facing Cloud, he whispered so quietly that even Cloud's enhanced hearing needed to be strained, "Let's make this quick. I... don't want to remember this. This should stay buried."

"Okay," Cloud said softly, soothingly, and went to work.

Unfortunately, there was not much to work with in the way of evidence. The blood around was from the survivors in Kalm and no one remained for Cloud to interrogate. The papers weren't nearly as scattered about as they had been when Cloud and Zack were there in the future. In fact, no real clues remained as to what had happened in Hojo's last days. It was like the lab had been cleaned out without actually removing much at all.

Sighing, he gave up on anything useful and had to drag Zack from the room to go wake Vincent. Sephiroth wouldn't be happy at how little he found; Cloud wasn't happy himself. Everything surrounding the two scientists' deaths was now extreme suspicious in nature and nothing was turning up answers.

The room of coffins was exactly the same as the last time Cloud had woken Vincent. Though, that wasn't surprising as who would mess with a such a creepy room?

"Oh, I remember this too," Zack murmured. "There was a guy in here."

"That's who we're looking for," Cloud explained as he heard Vincent wake within his coffin. The man had been breathing evenly before and now was dead silent. Cloud just frowned and threw the lid off of where Vincent was resting.

"Who is it?" Vincent demanded while sitting up and looking at Cloud curiously. Zack jumped back in shock and stuttered something about vampires. "...Never seen you before. You must leave."

Cloud didn't have time to fuck around with convincing Vincent this time, so he went straight to the point, "Lucrecia is dead. Hojo killed her and kidnapped your son for his experiments. Hojo's now dead as well, but I need your help to protect yours and Lucrecia's son from losing his mind."

Vincent frowned darkly at the news that Hojo was dead, likely upset he hadn't gotten the chance to end the man himself, and answered lowly, "If Hojo is dead then I have no business with you."

"Not even for Lucrecia? Do you honestly think she'd be happy knowing you abandoned your duty as a father?" Cloud knew it was a low blow, but he could work on winning Vincent's trust later on. Getting him out of the damn coffin was the most important thing now.

Vincent looked pensive for a moment, but didn't answer. He just reached up and closed the coffin in Cloud's face.

Cloud glared at the coffin's lid and clenched his fists in frustration. Fine. If that's how Vincent was going to be, then Cloud would send Yuffie to wake his ass up.

Zack was still asking questions about what had just happened by the time they made it out of the mansion. "What the hell was that? _Who_ the hell was that? I remembered he was there, but you act like you know him."

Cloud realized quickly that Zack had been asleep when he'd explained the part about Sephiroth's mother to the other man, so he filled in the blanks. "That was Sephiroth's father. His biological father."

"No fucking way. That guy could have been his brother for as close as they are in age, and they don't look anything—Okay he looked a _little_ like Seph, but not enough to be his _dad_."

"His aging is halted because of what Hojo did to him. And Sephiroth's physical appearance was influenced by the introduction of Jenova cells at such a... young... age...," Cloud trailed off at the sight of smoke rising from the village. Zack stopped in his tracks by Cloud's side and watched the huge pillar of black smoke with horror written all over his face.

They broke out into a run towards the village and didn't stop till they reached the middle of it. Everything was on fire.

" _Not again_ ," Zack breathed in terror.

Cloud looked around, desperately searching for the cause of the flames, and his eyes landed on broken ground. Creeping around flames, he approached the strange hole in the ground and found it surging with black Lifestream. Just like in Mideel.

"So... you came. How... _predictable_."

Cloud didn't get a chance to turn around. All he could do was dodge as Masamune drove right into the dirt where he was just standing. Zack yelped somewhere not far off, but Cloud was too focused in on Sephiroth, who was standing in front of him with glowing green eyes and _very much_ alive.

"Run! Find Tifa!" Cloud growled at Zack before dashing directly towards Sephiroth while drawing his sword. Somehow he got lucky enough that Zack didn't even question his orders, but just followed them instinctively.

Sephiroth lifted the menacing blade in time to parry, and he smiled indulgently at Cloud.

Cloud could feel every single Jenova cell in his body scream with the urge to join the Reunion, but he was strong enough to resist it. Only barely.

"Did you really think you could escape my wrath?" Sephiroth asked in a tone darker than Cloud had ever heard from anyone else. "I cannot exist without you, Cloud. And you... cannot exist without _me_."

"You followed me through," he accused in a snarl as he fought to hold back the brunt of Sephiroth's strength. If only he had First Tsurugi.

"Naturally. You will never be free of me," Sephiroth purred. "I told you once: I will never be a memory."

"I know where Jenova's body went now. You took control of it again," Cloud spat as he leapt back and parried another slash of Sephiroth's blade. There was no one running around in an attempt to escape, so Cloud could only assume them dead. "You killed Hojo. Why?"

Sephiroth actually laughed at that. "Killed him? Did I?"

Cloud's blood ran cold. "He's alive," was all he could say.

"Of course. Why would I let such a valuable resource die? It was decided he would take a stronger body as insurance against your interference. Hollander was just another pawn. All the better to cut them off with," Sephiroth explained vaguely while he smiled again and slashed at Cloud several times in a row while pushing forward. Cloud was forced to dance around burning debris as it fell around them and the pieces that got cut by extension of their fight.

"Them?" Cloud asked before the answer hit him like a ton of bricks. "Genesis and Angeal!"

Sephiroth's smile turned manic, confirming Cloud's suspicions. "You wedged yourself firmly between me and my destiny, but there were always others. Mother's will shall be done. Won't you join us? I have always been so generous to offer you a place amongst our family."

"Go to hell," Cloud shouted angrily.

"Oh, but we're already here. Don't you recognize it? And when I'm done killing you, I'll go kill Zackary. And then your little Ancient. In fact, perhaps I'll simply leave you alive so you can _watch_ me kill all those you love... _again_."

Cloud wasn't going to let that happen, but a well timed attack on Sephiroth's part had him stumbling back only to find he had no ground behind him. He'd been backed up right to the edge of the dark Lifestream.

Grasping uselessly at air, he fell backwards.

Expecting to hit the Lifestream, he closed his eyes but they were quickly jolted back open as he slammed into a small island in the hole. Standing, not ready to give up, he caught a flash of silver out of the corner of his eye. He looked and couldn't quite believe what he was seeing. On the other side of the small island was First Tsurugi, standing proudly. With no time spared, he wrapped a hand around the hilt of the blade and pulled it from the dirt. It still felt familiar in his hand.

Cloud stared up at Sephiroth above him, with his black wing stretched out, and narrowed his eyes dangerously. Carefully, he separated his sword into two and jumped directly up at the other man.

* * *

Zack was rushing to the mansion; avoiding all the fire as he went. He didn't like leaving Cloud behind, but Zack-the-second made it perfectly fucking clear that Cloud had a much higher chance of surviving if he didn't have to look after Zack too.

His eyes searched frantically for any sign of the little girl they'd met earlier, but found no trace. With no choice, he continued on to the mansion with hopes of waking that man they'd met. Maybe he could help; Zack had a good feeling that he probably could handle himself in a fight.

The images of Sephiroth flooded his mind and he shivered as tears rolled down his face. Flashes of a similar event bombarded his already fragile mind and he was left tripping as his vision blurred. This happened already. _This_ was what he'd been so angry about at Sephiroth in Wutai for. And now he was at risk of losing his Cloud to this monster. No wonder Cloud hated him.

He found the door to the mansion open when he arrived and could hear soft sobs coming from somewhere inside. Heart seizing up, he called out, "Hello? Are there any survivors?"

Zack didn't have to wait long for an answer as the same little girl, Tifa, ran out from under the staircase and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"Help! The t-t-town. It's...," she stuttered between sobs. At a loss for what to do, Zack wrapped his own arms around her and hugged her tightly as cried along with her. "My Papa! He's still—"

Zack pressed his face into her hair to stifle the heartbroken sob he let out at her pain. He wasn't a fool; there wasn't a soul left alive in that town. Cloud's mother... Zack's heart broke into a million pieces, but, determined to keep her safe for Cloud, picked her up and carried her right down to where that man was.

He set her down by the door and stalked over to the coffin; furious at everything. Throwing open the lid, he glared down at the strange man in red.

"Get the _fuck_ up," he yelled.

A small click was audible as the man drew back the hammer on the gun he pressed directly to Zack's forehead. Zack's eyes widened then narrowed angrily down at him.

"Leave," the man said coldly.

"Fuck no," Zack snarled, reaching up a hand to shove the gun out of his face. "My boyfriend is out there _fighting_ your _son_. He's going to kill him! You need to come help. The whole fucking town is on fire, and, if there are survivors, we need to get them out! You can't be so fucking heartless as to stay here when people need you!"

The man blinked up at Zack for a moment before apparently reaching a decision as he threw a leg over the side of the coffin. Zack backed up as the man stepped out of his coffin and then strode right out of the room. He desperately wanted to follow, but he knew that he'd just be in the way. He needed to stay and protect Tifa.

The young girl was still shaking and crying by the door; made worse by the fear of the man who was sleeping in a damn coffin in a place like this. Zack walked over and pulled her close before sinking down to the ground. All they could do now was wait.

* * *

Cloud couldn't thank the universe enough for having so much experience in fighting Sephiroth. He was able to hold his own, despite his body being slightly smaller than it used to be, and pushed the man back. His strength was finally returned to full and Sephiroth almost looked shocked at that fact. He probably assumed Cloud to be a weakling due to the reset on his life.

They went through the familiar dance for what felt like forever; dodging, parrying, and slashing at each other in an attempt to kill. There was nothing being held back anymore. Cloud was managing to get in more damaging hits as all Sephiroth could get through were stabs that healed over almost instantly. Still, with his wing, Sephiroth was outmaneuvering Cloud a lot in the disorienting environment.

It was this outmaneuvering that led to Cloud being unprepared for a slash from above. He had no time to parry properly, he would _have_ to risk losing a limb. But losing a limb was better than his life, so he took the only action he could and placed his arm up to take the strike to protect his torso.

The slash never came and, instead, a shot rang out as Sephiroth was thrown backwards onto the ground. Cloud watched as Sephiroth's head was thrown backwards before snapping up to reveal a bullet wound in the dead center of his forehead. His eyes were irate as the wound miraculously closed, but it gave Cloud plenty of time to bring down a killing blow.

Of course, Sephiroth wasn't stupid. He just wasn't there when Cloud's sword hit the ground where he'd been laying. Cloud could feel the draw of Jenova cells vanish as Sephiroth fled to recover. Jenova's body wasn't nearly as strong or adept at healing as Sephiroth's original one was; this is why he often avoided confrontations while using it. Even still, he glared up at the smoky sky above with an angry scowl. Sephiroth _right there_ and he couldn't even finish it.

"...When you said you needed my help, I didn't figure it was an immediate threat of him losing his mind," Vincent said neutrally as he approached from behind Cloud.

Cloud looked back slightly as he answered, "That's not the one I was talking about."

* * *

In Midgar, Sephiroth was walking home from his office. A peculiar migraine appeared out of nowhere; an uncommon affliction for him, but the only one that he ever experienced with his enhancements. His whole body tingled like he really needed to do _something,_ but he couldn't quite place what. It was impossible to ignore as the strange sensation just kept building as he got closer to home.

Sliding his keycard, he entered his apartment and immediately could tell he was _not_ alone. He became tense as he looked around for the intruder, but found no one. Stepping through the doorway, he smelled the air. Genesis.

"Hello, old _friend_ ," came Genesis' voice sliding out of the darkness.

"Genesis," he said in greeting while moving further into the apartment. He didn't remove his boots at the door. Some deep instinct told him not to do so. He still couldn't see his redheaded friend in the dark of the apartment.

Sephiroth was struck with shock at the fact that he couldn't see _anything_ in the dark apartment. His vision was normally flawless at all times; light or dark. This darkness seemed to be even blacker than usual.

" _My friend, the fates are cruel_..."

Sephiroth took a step forward and reached out a hand into the inky blackness but hit nothing. He couldn't even smell Genesis anymore, nor hear where exactly his voice was coming from.

" _There are no dreams, no honor remains_..."

Sephiroth growled at the deprivation of his senses. "Perhaps we could stop quoting that damn play and you could explain to me what is going on?" Genesis had been fine as of yesterday.

" _The arrow has left, the bow of the goddess_ ," he said in a tone that sounded like he believed that sentence explained everything.

"Yes, well I'm, as always, impressed by your endless knowledge of LOVELESS."

" _My soul, corrupted by vengeance_..."

Sephiroth went cold at the sound of Genesis' voice coming closer. The tingling inside him was a full on pull now. It was like what he felt near Cloud only several hundred times stronger. What was wrong with his friend? Should he retreat and call Angeal? Sephiroth was suddenly sorely regretting that he hadn't told Cloud about Genesis' changes.

" _Hath endured torment, to find the end of the journey, in my own salvation_..."

"Genesis... Please talk to me. Please let me help. I can help you," Sephiroth insisted. His tone was pleading as he all but begged his oldest friend to understand how badly he needed him to respond normally. Sephiroth was not a man that knew fear, but today he was coming close.

"... _And your eternal slumber_ ," Genesis' voice ended in a whisper right next to Sephiroth's ear.

Pain blossomed across Sephiroth's middle as the darkness evaporated. His hand came to touch the red blade pushed right through his back and out his gut.

"...Why?" he rasped through the pain.

"He requires your body to become whole. And _I_ require your cells to do the same. Forgive me, old friend, but I will be the hero this time. The world... no longer needs you."

Sephiroth staggered forward and slid off the end of the sword. He had Masamune, but just couldn't will his arm to draw it. He couldn't kill Genesis. Not Genesis. Not his _friend._ The first person to ever treat Sephiroth with anything other than fear or outright worship. He was once all Sephiroth had, and that made him invulnerable to Sephiroth's immense strength.

Genesis stared back at him with glowing green, slitted eyes. Sephiroth was wrong not to tell Cloud. Cloud would have known what to do. Maybe he could have saved...

Sephiroth grit his teeth as Genesis' sword ran him through again; this time in the right shoulder.

Turning around to make his way into the bedroom, Sephiroth caught sight of himself and Genesis in the mirror. Only he wasn't looking at himself _or_ Genesis. The images in the mirror were him, but it just... wasn't. There was a cruel smile plastered on his face and a black wing stretched out from each of their shoulders. Two of them... One in each place that him and Genesis should be standing. The images moved as though they were alive within the mirror.

He couldn't watch though, because Genesis lunged to attack again and Sephiroth could only stagger into the bedroom in an attempt to escape. Genesis moved to block his path immediately; keeping Sephiroth trapped in front of the mirror.

"The great General _running_... What a sight," Genesis laughed as he pursued.

Sephiroth was going to retort, but suddenly a flash of pain filled his head and Genesis let out a shriek of agony. His reflection was still in the mirror and Sephiroth saw its head snap back abruptly. When it lifted it, there was a bullet hole right through the middle of his forehead. Sephiroth's stomach churned at the scene; the same nausea he'd felt before collapsing in Wutai setting in.

Genesis however just clutched at his head and a black wing of his own came bursting out of his back. Sephiroth watched as it wrapped around him and his friend disappeared into a flurry of feathers and darkness.

" _Follow,_ " a voice commanded in his head. Almost instantly, Sephiroth moved to obey; without even knowing _how_ to obey. But Cloud's warning stuck with him and he fought the utter _need_ to follow the order. How could the pull be so strong?

He stumbled towards his PHS and dialed Cloud's number. It rang and rang with no answer. He hung up and tried Zackary with the same result. As a last resort, he tried the number Cloud had given him for complete emergencies if he couldn't reach Cloud himself. Two rings later, the child, Kisaragi, answered.

"Hello?" she asked carefully.

"Help," Sephiroth panted before realizing he'd need to clarify. "Voices. Don't know what to do. Cannot reach Cloud."

"Holy shit," the girl whispered. "Get to Reeve Tuesti, _right now_ ," she followed up in a firmer voice.

"Tuesti?" he questioned even as he moved to the door. What in the hell could the Urban Planning executive do for him?

"Don't ask questions. Just go! Stay with me. Are you alright? What is she telling you?"

"It's... not a she. It sounds—," he paused as he realized exactly what it sounded like. "It sounds like me."

"Okay. Well, don't listen either way. What's he saying?"

"Genesis was here. He had attacked me while saying something about him and this unknown force needing my body and cells to become whole. The image in the mirror got shot and we felt the pain... Genesis disappeared and the voice told me to follow," Sephiroth explained as best he could while fighting the insane pull that was telling his brain to go _somewhere_.

"Alright. You're doing good. Just stay with me. You did well by calling someone for help," she soothed. Sephiroth would have snorted if he wasn't in so much pain; the girl acted like she was talking to a frightened child.

He carefully made his way up to the 65th floor while talking intermittently with Kisaragi. Tuesti was there working at a computer station.

"Hello, General. Another SOLDIER, hmm?" Reeve said in greeting with a chuckle.

"Another?" Sephiroth asked at first before shaking his head slightly. "I need your help. I just... don't know what I need you to do."

"Another strange request too? Interesting," he said in good humor.

"Hand the phone to Reeve," Kisaragi commanded. Sephiroth complied and watched as the two conversed for a moment. Tuesti's face went from pleasant to deeply worried as he cast a look at Sephiroth.

"... I see. Come with me immediately, General. Are you sure this will work, Ms. Kisaragi?"

Sephiroth followed the man to a small lab in another room. He was directed to sit and he did so as Tuesti pulled out a vial of mako. A mako injection? He could have gotten that from the medical bay.

"I hope you're right, Ms. Kisaragi," Tuesti said gravely while filling the syringe. Sephiroth didn't complain as he held out his arm for the injection. The other man administered it instantly.

However it was immediately clear that this wasn't just mako. His brain was consumed in agony and he curled forward while gripping at his hair. What the hell was in that?

Though, a few minutes later, the pain cleared and Sephiroth breathed a sigh of relief. The voices left with it.

Tuesti was watching him curiously from a corner. Sephiroth looked at him and raised an eyebrow before asking, "What was it?"

"I believe," Tuesti started before clearing his throat. "The proper name for them would be C-cells. They are their own strain now, after all."

C-cells... Cloud's cells.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Swearing.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 27

Sephiroth wasn't sure what to make of the look that Tuesti was giving him at this point. His head was already spinning from the knowledge that he now that Cloud's cells inside of him. All of the questions he once wanted answered for Cloud's sake, he now needed for himself.

"Why did you inject me with his cells?"

Tuesti looked a bit speculative as Sephiroth watched him through his bangs, which were shielding his face from the other man. Something about being stared at right now didn't appeal to him.

"Ms. Kisaragi mentioned that Cloud's cells held a higher resistance to whatever it is you were afflicted with. I was under the impression, however, that those cells were originally yours. They just mutated within Cloud's body. Quite similar to viruses really," Tuesti explained even as he sounded puzzled in his own right. "What exactly was wrong with you?"

"Voices," he croaked slightly. "I was hearing voices."

Tuesti nodded and thankfully didn't look like he considered Sephiroth any less sane for admitting his problem. "Are they gone now?"

"Yes. They left as soon as the pain did."

"Good. Perhaps I could draw a sample? I'm going to need one from Cloud again, and I thought that a sample to compare it to might help. Plus, I'd like to see what those newly introduced cells are doing to you internally. From the sample I received from Cloud, I can only assume they are highly invasive."

Sephiroth nodded silently, and offered his arm. Tuesti made the draw mercifully quick and tucked the vial into his pocket.

The sound of Sephiroth's PHS ringing caused him to flinch slightly. He hadn't even know Tuesti had hung up on Kisaragi. He held out a hand and the man returned it to him.

"Hello?" he answered, still weak from his ordeal.

"...Where—Where are you r-right now?"

Sephiroth sat up straighter at the sound of Zackary's tear-filled voice. "What's wrong? Why are you crying? Is Cloud alright? What—"

" _Where_ the _hell_ are you right now?!" Zackary all but screamed into the phone.

"I.. Midgar. Where I should be," he answered, shocked.

"Send someone to Nibelheim now. Now, Seph. P-please. It's burning," the young SOLDIER sobbed desperately.

" _Burning_? What happened, Zackary. Please talk to me!" Sephiroth demanded. This couldn't be happening. Not like this, when things were looking up. Why would the town be burning? He wasn't there so... Strife. "...Did Cloud...?" he asked in a whisper.

"No! Cloud's out there fighting _you!_ " Sephiroth's eyes widened drastically at the furious accusation in Zackary's voice. Him? What in the hell did that mean?

The memory of the image in the mirror came back to him almost instantly. The bullet hole... What was going on?

Trying to put things into the right order, he took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I'll be there soon. Just be safe, please."

"No! Not you. Anyone else. You could lose control too," Zackary cried. The terror in his voice hit Sephiroth hard. The other man didn't trust him at all. Not after all the time they spent together, and how closely they fought beside each other. Months of Zackary worming his way into Sephiroth's life, and now he sounded like he abhorred the idea of seeing him. It hurt; badly.

"I'll... send someone else," he agreed finally. "But I meant what I said; be safe, Zackary."

"I'll try," the young SOLDIER whimpered as the line cut out.

Sephiroth's head fell into his hands at the surging pain in his heart. Genesis and now Zackary. How much more would he lose before it was all over? He though that this is what Strife was aiming to prevent.

"I'll be yer volunteer," a voice came from the doorway. Sephiroth looked up to see the Turk, Reno, leaning against the frame. When had he arrived? Were Sephiroth's senses failing him again?

"No. I'll send SOLDIERs," he muttered, but firmly.

"Fuck that. Strife'll want me on it. Trust me. I'm, uh, in the _know_. If ya catch my drift, General."

"How did you even know?"

Reno grinned and gave his nightstick a twirl from where it hung on his wrist. "Tapped your PHS. Your apartment has always been bugged. President's orders," he confided giddily before adopting a mock-embarrassed expression. "Oops. Wasn' supposed ta tell ya that."

"Fine. Leave," Sephiroth ordered, and, though he had no power over Turks, the man obeyed. He was in no mood to even bother getting angry at the moment. He was too busy having one of the worst, if not _the_ worst, days of his life.

Another call on his PHS and he answered automatically.

"Hello?" a little more wearily than the last time.

"Are you alright?" It was Kisaragi.

"Better now than before. Physically at least," he assured. Pausing he realized that this girl likely knew at least something about what happened to Nibelheim the first time. "Cloud and Zackary are in Nibelheim. Zackary just called me and told me it was burning. But I'm not there and he said it wasn't Cloud—"

"Burning?! Explain!" Kisaragi demanded in a panicked tone.

Sephiroth pressed the heel of his palm into his eyes and sighed. "I have no information other than what I just told you. I was hoping you'd have some theories. Zackary said that Cloud was fighting... me."

"Holy... fucking—I need you to do something. Now. Send someone to Mideel ASAP. Me and a friend need to get picked up for protective custody. If he's here...," Kisaragi trailed off. "She'll be in danger. If you care about Cloud or Zack, you'll help me out right now. The other Sephiroth, let's just say Jenova, will be after this girl with me. She's very important to Cloud."

"I'll come get you immediately," Sephiroth said while standing. Tuesti gave a nod in parting as Sephiroth breezed out of the room. "Are you alright otherwise?"

Kisaragi made a noise agreement over the sound of what was likely quick packing. "Just hurry, okay? He can move a lot faster than a normal person. That fucking wing. Are Cloud and Zack okay?"

"Zackary was alive and sounded... unharmed for the most part. Cloud was apparently fighting this doppelganger. I'm not sure if he's alright," Sephiroth explained though it pained him.

"It's Cloud. He'll be fine. He's got plenty of practice. I was more worried about his mental state if the people of Nibelheim didn't survive. Oh Gaia... I wonder if Tifa is alright..."

"Tifa?" he asked though it was clear the end of that wasn't meant for him.

"Old friend. She was in Nibelheim, but she should only be a kid right now. You killed her dad the last go around."

Sephiroth actually snorted against his better judgment; nothing was funny about that. "Is there anyone I _didn't_ murder a family member of?"

"Not really. You kinda clusterfucked everything several times over. But that's beside the point. You need to be on guard. He could—," Kisaragi cut off suddenly and Sephiroth tensed. His steps increased tenfold as he hurried like he'd be able to arrive in Mideel by foot.

"What's wrong?" he questioned, insistent. Kisaragi let out a little choked noise and Sephiroth could distantly hear another girl trying to comfort her.

"He's... Vincent is—What if he's not alright, Aeris? What if he didn't know? He could still be in that fucking coffin and burning alive!"

The other girl, Aeris apparently, murmured, "Cloud wouldn't let that happen. He'll be okay."

"Vincent?" Sephiroth asked in confusion. "As in Vincent Valentine? The man Cloud told me was my father?"

"Y-yeah."

"He was in Nibelheim? Why wasn't I told?"

There was a shuffling sound for a moment and the voice that came through next was the other girl present. "Don't go there right now. Yuffie is already very upset. She doesn't need you asking a whole bunch of questions she can't answer," this girl admonished. She didn't sound very fond of him, but he was getting used to reactions like that.

"I feel I have the right to know about my biological father," he growled. "I've spent my whole life wondering about my parentage and now I hear that my only remaining relative may be _burning_ alive in Nibelheim? I want answers."

"Then be patient. Vincent will be fine, because Cloud won't let anything happen to him," she shut him down tersely. "Now get here quickly, because you do not want to see Cloud if anything happens to either of us."

Sephiroth didn't bother responding to that and just snapped the PHS closed. Whoever this Aeris was, she wasn't shaping up to be a pleasant person. If anything, she reminded him of Cloud by the way she talked.

It wasn't a moment later that it rang; _again_.

"What?" he snapped into the device upon answering.

"Sir! There's been a problem in Wutai!"

Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks. Angeal was in Wutai...

"W-What happened?" he asked, stuttering despite himself.

"The _entire_ SOLDIER force has gone missing. I don't know what the hell to call this! There's not a single SOLDIER left. What's remaining of the infantry—," the man paused as shouts sounded somewhere near him. "We're being overrun, sir! I can't—We won't be able to hold Hailei like this. We're going to have to pull back or risk losing everyone here. The Wutai forces are hitting us hard. They could see the vulne—" A loud crash and a muffled scream were all that he heard before the line went dead.

* * *

After speaking with Seph, Zack felt sort of bad for how he treated him. It hadn't been a conscious choice, but Zack couldn't really say of he would have been able to change how he acted either way. Seeing even just someone who looked like Sephiroth trying to kill his boyfriend had been terrifying. It was only his faith in Cloud's strength that kept him from rushing back in an attempt to help.

Tifa was still curled up in his arms; shaking from the fear. He felt terrible for the girl. She more than likely just lost everyone she had in one horrible day. His jealousy at her attraction to Cloud seemed petty now, in the wake of what had happened.

"...You called Cloud your boyfriend," she mumbled softly against his chest. Zack just nodded a little and swallowed. "I didn't know he was..."

"He's bi," Zack answered awkwardly before looking up as if he'd find answers on how to deal with this situation written on the ceiling.

"Oh." Thankfully for him, she quieted back down after that.

The sound of approaching footsteps had him scrambling to his feet and drawing his sword just in case. Tifa ducked behind him and he just fixed his eyes on the passageway in front of them. It was dark and he couldn't quite see anything yet.

"Zack?" Cloud's voice called out, causing Zack's legs to all but give out from under him in relief. He dropped his sword on the ground and rushed directly into Cloud's arms the second he walked around the corner. Cloud received him in a tight embrace and pressed his face into Zack's hair.

Fresh tears came rolling down his cheeks at the fact that Cloud was _alive_. He hadn't doubted that he could win the fight, but Sephiroth _was_ hailed as the strongest man on the Planet, so it was frightening.

"You're alright," he stated through the tears.

"I wouldn't leave you like that," Cloud murmured.

Tifa stood a few paces back and stared at them with wide wet eyes. "Is... Anyone alive?" Cloud looked up and held her gaze, though it was clear it was taking effort. Lowering his eyes after a beat, he shook his head. Tifa cried out and crumpled to the ground in renewed sobs.

That man, who he'd coaxed from the coffin, was leaning against the wall behind Cloud with his arms folded across his chest. Zack was unease at his appearance, but could only assume that the man helped Cloud fight. He didn't think it was really fair to hold the guy's clothes against him if that much was true.

"We need to get out of here," Zack all but begged after a few minutes of silence. Cloud frowned and looked around at his company for a moment.

"That's going to be almost impossible. We've got no opportunity for transportation until tomorrow and the town is still on fire. We'll have to spend the night here."

Zack shifted around slightly and turned his eyes to the floor. "I—I talked to Seph. He called, and I called him back. That guy out there... wasn't the real Seph, right?"

Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair before answering, "It depends on what you consider 'real', but, no, for the most part that was not the real Sephiroth. He's the one from the past, or the future, where I came from. It's more Jenova than anything else. Better to refer to him as such anyway. Easy to get confused otherwise."

"So... Seph isn't going to end up like that, right?" Zack pressed.

"Hopefully not," Cloud said with a shrug before continuing, "But if he does, the result will be the same. I'll fight him, and I'll kill him."

Zack's jaw dropped at that. "You _killed_ him?"

"No. But I got very close. He escaped like a coward."

Zack's heart sank. He was hoping that the second Sephiroth, or Jenova he guessed, was dead. Knowing that bastard was still out there terrified him beyond compare. Cloud seemed to notice this and cupped his cheek in a hand. Zack didn't resist the urge to press into the tender gesture.

"You'll owe me answers," came the weird man's voice lowly from behind them. Cloud looked back and nodded stiffly.

"Later."

"Seph said he was sending someone here. I told... him not to come on his own," he admitted guiltily. He suddenly felt silly for being so afraid of Seph coming to Nibelheim, but he knew Cloud wanted him to stay away for a reason before. Now Zack understood very much what that reason was.

"Good," Cloud said softly. "That's good. We'll be out of here soon enough. Just try to stay calm." Zack nodded and pressed his head against Cloud's chest. Cloud dragged him along until they reached where Tifa was crying and he sunk down to the ground. Zack followed him down; Tifa getting pulled into the embrace as well.

Zack could only marvel at how well Cloud gave comfort despite knowing that Cloud considered himself terrible at it. Maybe it was that he gave the exact brand of comfort Zack always needed, but he just couldn't understand what made Cloud so averse to agreeing that he could heal as much as hurt.

A realization hit him, and he started looking all over Cloud for wounds. There were holes in his uniform, but no actual signs of physical damage. Zack's eyes drifted up to his face and he shivered involuntarily at the green, slitted eyes he found there. Cloud had learned to better hide those for the most part, and it had been awhile since Zack saw them on his boyfriend.

It was a stark reminder that whatever was happening, didn't just leave Cloud out of the mess. His boyfriend was feeling something; effects of Jenova, and that filled Zack with more dread than he could ever possibly hope to sort through.

* * *

It was hours later that Cloud heard the footsteps coming down the passageway towards where they were. Tifa had cried herself to sleep already and Zack was nearly there as well. Vincent was still awake and followed Cloud's gaze down the passage. Cloud didn't move from his spot on the ground though; it didn't take a detective to know the sound of Reno's walk and his scent in the air.

The redhead appeared a minute later, walking far too casually around the corner with his EMR twirling in hand. Cloud rolled his eyes at the relaxed demeanor Reno exuded. Trust the psychotic killer to be completely at home with the massacre that was Nibelheim.

Cloud wasn't entirely unaffected, despite the cool air he had about himself. He just knew there was a lot more to worry about then people he already lost once. Even his mother, who he hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye to for the second time, didn't compare to the possible devastation Sephiroth and Jenova could wreak on the world.

Reno's eyes landed on him and he smiled in greeting. " 'Sup Strife?"

"I find it hard to believe Sephiroth sent you."

"He didn't have much choice. After his little meltdown, I figured it was best I handle this part. Pretty sure your little boy-toy agreed," Reno said with a shrug.

Cloud's blood should have gone cold at the mention of Sephiroth having any meltdowns at all, but he was too tired to even muster the anger. "What happened?"

"Shouldn't I be askin' _you_ that?" Reno teased before actually launching into an explanation, "Genesis flew the coop. Lost 'is fuckin' marbles too. Attacked our glorious General and then disappeared into a shower of fuckin' fairy dust 'an feathers. General was, ah, havin' some trouble sortin' through the voices in his head. Apparently Tuesti fixed it for him."

"Did he kill anyone?" Cloud asked in a far too calm tone.

"Genesis? Nah."

"Sephiroth," he corrected sharply, raising his eyebrow.

Reno shook his head. "Nope. By the time I reached him, he seemed to be fine. Some lil'girl on the phone told him to go to Tuesti, and then told Tuesti to inject him with your cells. Sure enough, the General was right as rain when I got there."

Cloud frowned darkly at the knowledge that Sephiroth had been injected with his cells. What purpose would that have served? And how did Yuffie know it's what Sephiroth needed? It was true that Yuffie knew what happened to him in the labs, but that seems like advanced knowledge.

"Is he still in Midgar?"

"Last I checked his PHS, it sounded like the kid wanted him to come pick her up in Mideel. But before he could make it out, an infantry fucker called him and gave some bad news from Wutai."

"Bad news?" Cloud asked, already steeling for the worst.

Reno tilted his head slightly to the side and scratched at his neck. "Said that every SOLDIER in Wutai was missing. Line went dead not long after that."

Zack, who had apparently been listening, sat up bolt straight and looked at Reno in fear. "Angeal? Is he alright?"

"No fuckin' clue," Reno said a little too happily. "What's wrong? Aren't ya excited at the chance for a promotion? Yer two steps from movin' through SOLDIER as quick as the General did himself."

"I don't want a promotion if it costs my friends their lives!" Zack yelled. The younger man was irate at Reno's attitude in the face of all this tragedy. Cloud wrapped a gentle hand around his wrist and pulled his hand up to kiss his palm lightly. Zack took a deep breath that got released in a shaky puff.

"Who's tall, dark, and handsome over there?" Reno asked suddenly, while smiling cruelly at Vincent. All it took was a glare from the red eyed man and Reno was rearing back in shock. "Yer Valentine! Ya know the boss thinks yer dead, right?"

Vincent didn't move or drop his stare as he asked, "Boss?"

"Veld."

"I see. Send my greetings."

Reno looked a little frustrated at how little he got out of the other man, but let it drop. He looked back to the other three and shrugged. "Let's get the fuck outta here, alright?"

Cloud nodded and stood. He cast a glance at Vincent. The other man wouldn't come with them no matter how much Cloud insisted, so he strode over and handed Vincent his own PHS.

"Keep this. I'll get in contact with you. Feel free to ignore calls from other people, but Yuffie would probably appreciate you answering her calls," he explained quietly.

Vincent looked a little puzzled at the mention of Yuffie. "...Who?"

"Old friend. Trust me. Can you take Tifa to Rocket Town? Being near me isn't safe right now. He won't be able to find her if he doesn't have a source of Jenova cells to track. You can drop her off at the inn and tell them I'll pay it up. Just have them send the bill to Cloud Strife in Midgar." Vincent didn't look quite happy at the idea of bringing Tifa along with him but he finally nodded and accepted the PHS.

Cloud pulled Zack along and decided to leave without waking Tifa. It was cruel, but getting the message that she couldn't follow across wouldn't be easy if she was awake. She could be very stubborn when she wanted to be. Rocket Town would be safest for her right now. If nothing else. Cid was there and Cloud could trust him.

The fact was, it wasn't going to be safe to be _anywhere_ near Cloud for the foreseeable future, and he refused to take risks.

* * *

Sephiroth had chosen to drop his responsibilities to SOLDIER to go and retrieve the girls from Mideel, though he knew that something would need to be done about what was happening in Wutai. And quickly if they wanted to save what progress they had made.

The fact that Angeal was more than likely missing too just wasn't something he was ready to face.

Finding them in Mideel proved to be easy as they had been staying at the inn. They packed light, which was beneficial since they'd need to travel back to the clearing where the helicopter was waiting; the trees in the area made landing directly in Mideel impossible.

The other girl turned out to be a very lovely young woman in all pink with long brown hair and earthy green eyes. Sephiroth half-wondered what Strife's past with the girl could be to make her such a priority that he needed to drop everything to secure her safety. The evidence pointed to her being an ex-lover of some sort.

Neither of them said much when he arrived to escort them, and he was almost grateful. He wasn't quite sure what he'd say and sorting through all the emotions he was feeling was proving to be hard enough as it was.

But when they arrived back at the helicopter, he was surprised to see the girl in pink freeze at the sight of Tseng, who had flown him out to Mideel on his request. She frowned almost hatefully at him and Sephiroth was once again reminded of Strife; if Strife was a woman.

"Do you—," he began slowly only to be cut off.

"Yes," she said in a clipped tone as she walked briskly up to the helicopter and pulled herself on board. Sephiroth followed closely behind, intrigued, and was shocked to hear Tseng's response to seeing her.

"A-Aeris? What are you doing here?! Reno said—," Tseng exclaimed, clearly surprised, before sobering into a chastising tone.

The girl, Aeris, smiled so bitterly that Sephiroth had to retract his former assessment of her; she wasn't lovely at all, at least in personality.

"Reno is easy to convince when it comes to taking days off. He's not been monitoring me for weeks. But you don't really need to bother anymore, right? Hojo's dead, so keep your surveillance for more important people, Tseng."

Kisaragi put her head in her hands and sighed deeply. "I'm getting a real strong feeling that Hojo _isn't_ dead actually. But we won't know till we speak with Cloud."

Aeris went through an abrupt change in personality and she wrapped her arms tightly around the younger girl. "Shh. It's all going to be alright, Yuffie. No matter what happens, we'll be okay. Just believe in Cloud, okay?" she consoled sweetly.

Sephiroth raised an eyebrow at the exchange before glaring at Tseng to get him moving on flying them out of there. This girl could give someone whiplash from her personality switches.

Something suddenly occurred to him.

> Zackary said, _"I didn't know Aeris died until just yesterday."_

Sephiroth looked at her from out of the corner of his eye and felt his blood chill. He _truly_ hoped that her death had absolutely nothing to do with him, but that was looking like a frighteningly slim possibility. It left him once again questioning: Is there anyone's life he hadn't ruined?


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Mostly Point A to Point B. Uncensored (mild content).
> 
> As a note: If I miss an update over the next, oh, week and a half or so, it's not because I'm stopping the every 2 day business. It's because I've got three birthdays (including mine and my best friend's), Halloween, a movie I've been waiting months for (Thor 2!), Blizzcon (gaming convention), and my ALL of my every week stuff as well. I'm going to try my hardest to keep things moving at the same pace for the next week, but if I fall down, it's going to get back on track immediately after.
> 
> Next Update: Oct 31*
> 
> EDIT: Update date changed to reflect that I took a day off. Sorry to those who were waiting for the update today!

With everyone back in Midgar, they all convened in Cloud and Zack's apartment to discuss what had occurred over the last day. Cloud was sitting on the couch with Zack and Aeris both pressed tightly against him while Sephiroth and Yuffie paced around their living room. Reno was leaning against a wall and being quieter than Cloud have ever seen him.

"This is... Well to say this is bad would be a huge fucking understatement," Yuffie said with a sigh as she tugged at her hair in frustration. "So not only do we get the evil Sephiroth from before, now we've got two _other_ Jenova filled SOLDIERs out there!"

"Don't lump Angeal in with them! He's not like that," Zack spat angrily. "He's probably a prisoner."

Cloud tightened the arm around Zack's waist slightly, causing his boyfriend to make a small, sad noise and snuggle closer. "We don't know anything right now, Zack. Truth is, Angeal could possibly be on their side. He's close to Genesis and, Yuffie's right, he has enough Jenova cells to make it plausible. I don't like it either; trust me."

"It doesn't matter what's happened to them or what side they're on; we need to help them," Sephiroth growled at no one in particular.

"How how do you propose we do that? There is _no_ known cure for Jenova's mind control. Those who've beaten it, did so on their own. By trying to save them from her, we could end up losing some of our own in the process," he said with cynicism lacing his voice. "I won't put them over my family."

Sephiroth glared at him from across the room. "And Angeal, after all he's done for you, is not family?"

Cloud frowned darkly in response. "If Angeal isn't under her control, I'll do everything in my power to save him. But I cannot guarantee his safety. I'll do whatever I have to, to make sure the Planet survives."

Sephiroth snarled in anger; fist clenching by his sides. "I don't see the point if no one important survives along with it."

"Important to _you_ maybe," Reno added unhelpfully. "I'm with Strife."

Aeris let out a grand sigh of her own and she began to comb her fingers through Cloud's hair gently as she spoke, "We need to form a plan. If Hojo is alive, like Jenova claimed, then he's still out there experimenting on something or some _one_. We need to nip it in the bud or he'll just use this time to make the same army he overwhelmed the Planet with the first time."

Cloud looked the heavens as though he'd be struck with some divine plan, unfortunately he wasn't so lucky. "We have absolutely no idea where to find him. He's not in Nibelheim, but he could be anywhere else on Gaia. He could still be in Midgar for all we know, and it could take years to find him. I can't sense Sep— _Jenova_ —anywhere, so either she's masking herself or Hojo has her inside a lead-lined container. Genesis and Angeal, I just don't know. They've got every _single_ SOLDIER from Wutai somewhere, and are likely turning them into clones as we speak."

Sephiroth looked up curiously. "Clones of whom?"

Cloud shrugged. "Genesis, most likely."

"...Why?"

"Because that's how he did it the last time. He just cloned himself infinitely until he ran out of SOLDIERs to clone."A look of confusion passed over Sephiroth's face before undiluted fury replaced it.

"You mean to tell me... this has happened _before_? Did you _know_ Genesis would betray us?"

"Yes," Cloud admitted with a straight face.

Sephiroth lunged toward him, prompting Zack to go completely rigid with fear and Aeris to move defensively as well. The other man's intention was clearly to grab Cloud to shake some sense into him or hit him, but Cloud just wasn't there when Sephiroth reached for him. Instead he grasped at air as Cloud dodged to the side of him before bringing up a single hand and _tossing_ him across the room.

Sephiroth blinked in shock as he hit the wall opposite the couch. Cloud didn't hesitate; he pressed forward and grabbed the larger man by the throat while slamming him against the wall again. Sephiroth's head bounced off the wall as Cloud leaned in and hissed, "That was an incredibly stupid move."

The silver haired man opened his mouth as if to respond but shut it again with an audible click at the sight of everyone around him. Reno and Yuffie both had guns trained on him, Zack was gripping his sword's hilt with white knuckles, and Aeris had a glowing ball of materia ready in her hand.

"Think you can manage to use your brain if I let you go?" Cloud growled down at Sephiroth while tightening his grip on his throat to emphasis the seriousness of his anger. Sephiroth never responded, but glared up at Cloud silently. Still, he knew the point had been demonstrated, so he released him. Sephiroth didn't even get to his feet.

"You could have done more for them," he accused hatefully.

"Maybe," Cloud agreed. "But I'm only human."

* * *

They all decided that they needed to stop there for the night, so everyone retreated to the respective homes. Yuffie and Aeris stayed with Cloud and Zack, because it was too late at night to get them down to the slums.

Yuffie hunkered down on the couch and tried to call Vincent a few times as the other three headed to bed. Aeris was informally decided to share their bedroom; it felt much more proper than having her sleep in the living room with Yuffie.

Cloud got relegated to the middle of the bed as the two settled in at his sides. He pulled them both close and basked in their warmth for a moment. It'd been a long time since he'd gotten a chance to sleep beside Aeris, and he'd forgotten how wonderful it was. She was a wellspring of comfort for him, even as he was for Zack. It was something he was even more appreciative of this time, compared to before. He reveled in the feeling of having her so close. Being with them just made him whole, and it made it all worth it.

The two beside him got to sleep rather quickly; the stress of the day putting them under in moments. Cloud was once again reluctant to try sleeping; especially with Sephiroth out there.

Thinking of his former nemesis as solely Jenova was almost impossible for him, though he referred to him as such in front of the group. They didn't need to start doubting the sane Sephiroth just because Cloud couldn't bury the past.

The Sephiroth in Midgar had proven now that he was much more stable than his former self. He'd endured Jenova's influence in his head and managed to combat it long enough to get help. Cloud was impressed and had to give him points for being smart enough to know to get help at all, but it came with side-effects. The pull of Cloud's own cells was greatly increased, and now he could feel the other man even from several floors below him.

Finding out his cells were able to aid in resisting Jenova's influence was shocking on its own. He'd always had to fight her pull, so why Sephiroth now had immunity, or at the very least strong resistance, from them was a mystery. A mystery doubled by why Yuffie knew it'd work like that. He wanted answers, but demanding them from Yuffie wasn't appealing.

It felt like his life was now _full_ of mysteries. Where was Hojo? Where were Jenova, Genesis, and Angeal? Which side was Angeal on? What were they planning? All these questions and no immediate answers. At the moment, his only real guess was that they'd be stationed in the Northern Crater, but getting there to check would be a job and a half.

He didn't like the feeling of this. None of this was according to plan and he'd not seen any of it coming. All these months, what time they'd been in Wutai, Hojo had to work on whatever he was planning. If they were going to stand any chance at beating him, they'd need to find him _fast_. Even if it meant searching the whole Planet; top to bottom.

* * *

The only problem with that plan was that Hojo didn't want to be found, and apparently was frighteningly good to making sure it didn't happen.

From Reno's thorough search of the Northern Crater to Cloud's scouring Banora and Mideel, no clues turned up. And not a single SOLDIER was ever found after they went missing in Wutai. Eventually, Zack and Sephiroth were both forced to return to Wutai to restructure after losing the entire front. Cloud got left behind to hold Midgar together and to continue looking for Hojo.

A month passed with no changes at all, and then another. Vincent left Tifa and Rocket Town and acted as another pair of eyes as Cloud directed him to search high and low for any sign of Hojo or one of the Jenova project SOLDIERs. Yuffie and Aeris stayed in Midgar for safety after many arguments with Cloud about the matter, but it didn't add up to much anyway. Cloud had traveled to every major city on the Eastern Continent and found no trace of anything.

Three months into their search, Director Lazard had all the missing SOLDIERs, including Genesis and Angeal, declared dead. Sephiroth had fought tooth and nail for over a month to delay the announcement, because, so long as they were classified as MIA, people would be looking for them. But even his word as the General couldn't overturn the directive once it was decided upon.

He was given a month to find a replacement SiC, since Genesis was gone, but it took him all of five days to name one. And every single one of those five days had been spent convincing Cloud to accept the position no matter how much Cloud encouraged him to find someone else.

To Cloud, it was comical. Him? Second in Command of the Shinra Army? He hadn't even been a SOLDIER the first time around. Zack had _earned_ the position in their past life, and Cloud felt more than a little guilt at usurping it. It's not like he hadn't argued. He had put up a hell of a fight and nearly succeeded several times in convincing Sephiroth to name Zack, but had his arm twisted in the end to accept it.

He wasn't quite sure what to do with his new rank, Lt. General, and often cringed when people referred to him as such. It was like playing dress up again as someone else. Only this time, instead of Zack, it was him pretending to be Angeal. The rank, the power, the responsibility; none of it suited him. More than once he considered just leaving Shinra employ all together. But that wasn't really an option; Shinra gave him the sway to conduct the kind of searches necessary everywhere he visited. And, if he was honest, his new rank gave him the free time to do it as well.

It didn't make any of his fellow SOLDIERs happy though. They all looked at him in hostility, though the younger cadets seemed to find him interesting enough to look up to. From his sword, which drew a lot of attention, to his young age; Cloud was a walking target for petty jealousy.

His age drew the most criticism, though he had already turned 18 by the time he was promoted. That made him the same age Zack was when he was given the same rank, but Cloud still felt like a child in his shoes. It was a small miracle that his body was nearing its peak age, where he had been in his past life, at which his Jenova cells would kick in and he'd stop aging. This was because all strains of Jenova cells, except Genesis', prevented the body from decaying.

Thinking about it filled him with intense dread though. To him, years would eventually become a drop in the bucket. It had been a big worry for him in the last life too. While he stayed the same, all those around him would age and die like normal humans. The thought of watching Zack and Aeris leave him again tore at his heart, though he knew that was a long time off. And that if he did well this time, he may get the rest he so craved.

He had a lot of time to think lately. The months kept passing and passing until it was already nearing a new year. They'd had no leads in all the time between June and November, and Cloud didn't like it at all. He just couldn't explain where they had gone and how they were managing to stay hidden for so long. Surely the SOLDIERs they captured would need to eat so that Hojo could experiment on them, but no one ever saw any of them retrieving supplies or food. That was Cloud's only clue; that they were likely able to self-sustain wherever they were hiding.

They theories were progressively becoming stranger and stranger as everyone threw in various ideas at where the hell they could be hiding. Yuffie often joked about opening a betting pool and so far someone of the wildest theories had been a compound underneath the Chocobo Farm and somewhere in outer space. Cloud was half tempted to accept the latter; Jenova _had_ come from space at some point.

To add to his misery, Rufus was having more trouble securing the company than expected. Whether he'd gone through such bullshit the first time, Cloud didn't know, but he was contemplating just killing Heidegger, Scarlet, and the other executives just to speed things up. The _only_ real light note they had was that Reeve was making incredible progress on the mako alternative. His research was moving forward in leaps and bounds and he seemed confident that they'd be ready to harvest a sample soon for testing purposes.

* * *

"Can you just... I don't know," Zack teased playfully. "Lighten up? You're thinking too much."

Cloud smiled softly in apology at Zack, who was laying against him nude. "Sorry."

Zack smirked and pressed his head against Cloud's chest to listen to his heartbeat. "Come on. It's my birthday. I want you to be as happy as I am. We can go back to worrying tomorrow, okay?"

"You may have to distract me then," he purred. Abruptly, Cloud rolled over on top of Zack, and moved his hands to pin his boyfriend's wrists to the bed. Zack grinned lewdly up and him and rolled his hips upwards.

"Alright then. Bring it on!" Zack taunted.

Cloud laughed a leaned down to lock Zack's mouth in a sweet kiss that was contrasted by the dominance he was showing in holding Zack down. His lover never bothered to struggle, well aware he could never break free if Cloud actually wanted to hold him down, and usually seemed to enjoy the almost-rough treatment. He figured that Zack must enjoy pleasing Cloud, and Cloud _was_ very pleased to get to have Zack as he wanted him. He managed to mix things up enough to give Zack the tender sex he deserved as often as he gave the rougher love he preferred.

Zack was still more than ready from their earlier adventures together, and Cloud slid right back into position. It was times like this that he loved the increased libido that came with mako. No matter how many times Zack wanted to go, Cloud was always able to accommodate.

"Mm, yeah," Zack panted as Cloud gave a good, hard thrust.

Cloud put his mouth by Zack's ear and whispered, "Have I ever mentioned I love it when you make those noises? You've got the best bedroom voice I've ever heard."

Zack shivered deliciously against him and locked his legs around Cloud's waist. "That s-so?"

"Mhm," Cloud hummed as he angled even deeper into Zack. His lover just arched his back and purred loudly. Cloud kissed a line from just below Zack's ear down to his collarbone and back up again. Every now and then, he exchanged a kiss with a long lick that left Zack undulating against him. "Like that?"

" _Always_ ," he gasped as Cloud bit down gently on his earlobe.

It was Zack's seventeenth birthday now, and Zack was looking more like the man Cloud had fallen in love with all those years ago. His hair was longer and the bangs were gone, though that one errant piece still hung down in his face. All the angles of his face were sharper now. In fact, the only thing that really had yet to change was the youth in his eyes. The edge that used to be there just wasn't created through experience yet. Wutai had taken a lot of Zack's childishness away; having to kill so many people on a regular basis tends to do that to people, but Zack yet clung to most of his innocence.

They'd spent most of the day with Aeris and Yuffie, being dragged around Wall Market, before deciding to return home for a more _private_ celebration. Zack was only on leave for a week before he'd have to return to Hailei and Cloud planned to spend most of it in bed. If he hadn't found any clues about Hojo in all these months, he wouldn't find any this week.

* * *

On the other side of the Planet, Sephiroth was slumped over a map of Wutai like he'd spent many nights for the past eight years. Losing the SOLDIERs all those months ago had cost them precious time and ground. They lost the entire western road and were forced to recapture it, refortify Suitae, and then recapture Hailei. Ft. Tamblin was still far too strong for them to even consider an outright assault. The high walls would make it a slaughter they couldn't afford.

They were _still_ low on SOLDIERs. Sephiroth wouldn't get a chance to step out of Hailei until he and Cloud traded tours or they'd risk losing the village again. If they lost Hailei one more time, they'd be risking another loss of Suitae as well. If that happened, they'd be screwed as the northern pass was still collapsed.

Supplies were starting to run low as their fewer numbers made a complete guard on the western road nearly impossible. Many times their supplies were taken by Wutai ninja who managed to sneak past them. All they could do to fight this was slash and burn the forest to give them no cover, which enraged the already emboldened Wutai troops further.

Sephiroth was at a loss how they were going to win this war. Wutai was holding what they had left with an iron fist, and Sephiroth's motivation dwindled by the day. He wanted to be out looking for his friends. He wanted to hunt Hojo down and cut the man in half personally. Hell, he even wanted to go find this mysterious Vincent Valentine and ask him all the questions he'd wanted answered his whole life. All of those things were much more appealing than securing Shinra its prize.

Having Zackary around helped infinitely, but the other man was in Midgar celebrating his birthday with Strife. To say Sephiroth was depressed would be an understatement, but he'd never admit as much.

The young SFC had filled the hole left by his missing friends at some point. His charisma was infectious and he worked very hard to keep Sephiroth above water emotionally. Zackary just seemed to _know_ when Sephiroth needed support, though he'd never asked for it.

Today though, he was alone, and feeling sorry for himself. He was not prone to being tired, but he was utterly exhausted. Duty necessitated that he stay awake and continue planning, but his boredom was gaining ground in his mind. Even further, sleep was his only chance to do anything worthwhile in the search for Genesis and Angeal.

Immediately after accepting the C-cells, he'd begun dreaming vividly of this other him, and, though the dreams often didn't make sense and were hard to see, he could tell there was a true connection. He hadn't told Cloud, but that was only because he didn't feel as though his sanity was in danger from the dreams. Sephiroth hoped beyond hope that one day he'd dream of any identifying factor that would show where they were, but all he knew thus far was that it was _dark_. He reasoned that they were likely in a cave or underground shelter of sorts, but Cloud had checked every known cave system on Gaia and found nothing. He'd even checked them Mythril Mines several times over.

Sephiroth's head hung lower as he contemplated just giving into the urge to sleep. It's not like anything he worked on tonight would be ready for tomorrow anyway. They'd need to hold off till they received more supplies before they made any further attempts at pushing forward.

His PHS ringing startled him slightly and he reached over to grab it. Flipping it open, he muttered, "Hello?"

"Sephiroth," the voice rasped.

He sat up straight and his heart began to pound in his chest. It was Angeal.

"Angeal? Where are you? Are you _alright_?" he asked, panicked.

"—N-not exactly."

" _Where are you?_ " Sephiroth demanded. He needed to know.

"Can't say. Send one of them to Banora. My sword. Tell them... Tell them to be careful. He'll be moving soon, and I can't—I can't resist much longer... S-so loud."

"Angeal, talk to me. What's wrong? Them as in Cloud and Zackary? What do you mean loud? Careful? Please give me answers. I can help you if you tell me where you are. Anything that will help me find you," he urged.

"Keep your head straight. They won't stop until you don't know who you are anymore. Look after them for me?" Angeal asked pleadingly right before the line went dead.

"Angeal?" Sephiroth whispered and his voice rose to a shout, "Angeal!"

The PHS clattered to the ground as Sephiroth fell back against his chair in complete horror and devastation. He'd had Angeal _on the line_ and couldn't get any useful information out of him. Angeal sounded like he was in _pain_ and now Sephiroth was at a loss for how to help him.

But then his brain caught back up with him. Angeal mentioned Banora. Which meant they could be keeping him near there.

Sephiroth picked up the PHS again, hands shaking from the emotions overwhelming him, and dialed Cloud's number. The blond picked up on the third ring.

"Bit busy," Strife growled before Sephiroth even got a chance to say anything.

"Angeal just called me," he started and could hear Strife's breath still. "He asked me to send one of you to Banora. I think it's possible he may be being held near there."

"Impossible. I turn Banora over several times with no results. Neither Angeal's mother nor Genesis' parents had any information, and they _weren't_ lying."

"Well, I know I was speaking to Angeal, and he asked that one of you go there. Something about his sword. How would he have gotten it there if he wasn't there at some point? Maybe they keep moving and that's why we've been unable to find them."

"For _months_. Leaving _no_ trace. Not likely. It's more likely that this is a trap," Strife argued. "I'll go. I'll report back what I find."

Sephiroth suddenly felt dread well up inside him. The possibility of a trap didn't even occur to him before. "And if it is a trap? Perhaps you shouldn't go alone." The unstated portion of that went: _I'd feel incredibly guilty if you were hurt._

"I'll be fine. I'll check back in with you after I investigate."

"Fine," Sephiroth agreed though he felt foolish for even telling Strife now. Of course he'd want to go alone like an idiot. Now, if he was injured, it would be Sephiroth's fault. The events in Nibelheim, though he hadn't even been there to see them, had caused a phobia to develop in him against hurting people he even slightly cared about. Though him and Strife were far from friends, he didn't want to see the other man in danger, and Strife seemed to always throw himself headlong into it.

He sighed and dropped the PHS on the table. He needed to stop worrying about Cloud. The man was strong, more than likely stronger than Sephiroth, and could handle himself. Instead, he should be worrying more about Angeal, because his friend didn't sound healthy in the slightest.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Swearing. Unfortunately Short.
> 
> I want to apologize for two things:
> 
> 1\. The unplanned vacation day last update (Oct 29th), but at least I did give a small warning in the author's note of the last chapter.
> 
> 2\. For how short this is. It being a holiday and a friend's birthday, I was cut short on time. I figured a short chapter was likely better than missing another day though.
> 
> My warning remains: ALL updates until about Nov 8th are subject to cancellation due to how busy things will be. I don't like doing it, and I still feel guilty I missed one already, but it's either that or kill myself with overwork or burn myself out trying to write when I don't want to.
> 
> Next Update: Nov 2nd

Zack was feeling sublime. It was his birthday, he was home in Midgar, and Cloud had some time off to spend with him. And so they spent it in bed. Could there be anything more perfect? After months in Wutai, he was aching for some quality time with his boyfriend.

Cloud at the very least got to see Aeris rather often, though they claimed quite staunchly that no romance was happening on the side. Not that Zack would have minded at this point, but he was getting more than a little lonely on the front lines. Seph was doing the best he could to be an interesting companion, but it didn't compare to snuggling up to Cloud without anything else to do that day.

That's why it was so disappointing when Cloud answered his PHS in the midst of their afterglow. Zack propped himself up on his elbows and watched sulkily as his lover took the call. From the tone, it _had_ to be Seph.

" Impossible. I turned Banora over several times with no results. Neither Angeal's mother nor Genesis' parents had any information, and they _weren't_ lying," Cloud insisted in a rather blank tone. Zack's ears perked up at the mention of Angeal.

He listened as Cloud agreed to go somewhere, presumably Banora, and felt as his heartbeat sped up. The curiosity of whether Angeal had been spotted in the area was overwhelming as he waited impatiently for Cloud to finish talking over the device.

Losing Angeal had been hard on Zack's emotional state. The mixed up memories and feelings left him worrying constantly for his mentor. Something about the situation was pulling at his heartstrings. Zack-the-second wasn't any help at all either; he seemed to be refusing to fill in the blanks. That, or he was unable to; Zack couldn't never really tell. And Cloud sure as hell made it clear he wasn't going to tell him unless Zack remembered on his own, so the fear that something serious could be coming Angeal's way was always in the back of his mind.

"So," he started slowly when Cloud hung up," Are we going to Banora? Did he hear something about Angeal?"

Cloud frowned a little, which was the same expression he used whenever he didn't want to explain something but had no choice. "He says Angeal called him, but he sounded exhausted. I'm not entirely convinced it wasn't a dream. You know I've searched all over Banora with no clues."

Zack sat up straighter. "Called him? What if he's right? Angeal could be in Banora right now, and we might not have long before they hunt him down again!"

"I highly doubt Angeal is actually in Banora," Cloud sighed. "But I'll go tomorrow anyway. There's always a chance they passed through there and Angeal got a chance to leave a clue."

Zack didn't exactly like the sound of that. "How about _we'll_ go tomorrow?"

Cloud fixed him with an annoyed look as he replied, "How about _no_?"

"And why the hell not? I'm not a damn kid, Cloud. I want to be there if Angeal turns out to actually be there," he pouted a little before schooling his features into a serious mask. He really needed to learn how not to act so childish around Cloud. His boyfriend never took him seriously when he acted like that, and Zack couldn't even really blame him.

Being more or less under Cloud's wing for the last few years had stunted a lot of Zack's emotional growth as he never had to experience life without that constant protector until he was in Wutai alone. Somewhere between seeing an entire platoon annihilated by a single surprise ambush by anti-SOLDIER monsters and giving his support to burn down what felt like half the trees in Wutai to protect his men, Zack had realized he really didn't have a clue about real life or death situations. The war really only taught him one valuable lesson, and that was the feeling of loss. Learning how quickly you can lose what you have made him much more appreciative of what he loved.

Losing Angeal hammered that point home for him. From that point forward, he tried to be a little more obvious about just how much he cherished Cloud, Aeris, Yuffie, Seph and all his friends in SOLDIER.

Cloud looked at him and sighed again, deflating slightly, before saying, "Alright. Be ready in the morning then."

He blinked once in surprise before lunging forward and snuggling up to Cloud gratefully. "You're wonderful, you know that?"

His lover smirked a little and pressed a kiss to the top of Zack's head. "Yes, I'm wonderful for allowing my boyfriend to come with me to dangerous places," Cloud snorted. "Look what happened in Nibelheim." Zack shivered involuntarily at the mention of the razed town. Those were memories he never wanted to revisit, but that was another part of why he couldn't let Cloud go alone. He'd be damned before he let Cloud face Jenova alone again; the fear of losing him was just too great.

Zack was anxious as he settled in for bed. They were too spent to bother with anymore rounds of love making, and they had an early morning. He just pressed up close to Cloud and willed his mind to better places as he tried to fall asleep. He didn't want to risk having a nightmare, which were a frequent event in Wutai, and have Cloud be unwilling to take him along the next day.

Flashes of fire danced behind his eyelids, but he kept focusing on brighter points in his life. He wasn't even sure if he was having nightmares of Nibelheim or the slash and burn of Wutai anymore. Either way resulted in the acrid smell of phantom smoke and burning hair being conjured up by his brain. Oh so often, their more impromptu fires in Wutai caught hidden ninja off guard and ended up burning them alive. By now, Zack had more than one cause to really, really _hate_ fire.

His distaste for fire at least had logical reasoning. His sudden hatred for the color white was a new development that made absolutely no sense. He could only assume that Zack-the-second had something to do with that, but, what exactly, he just didn't know.

* * *

Dawn found Cloud packing while Zack worked on just pulling himself out of bed to get moving. It was a hard battle, and another reminder of why Cloud outranked him so solidly now. Zack sometimes questioned how he would have survived in SOLDIER without Cloud around to push him at every turn, since even getting out of bed in the morning was a challenge.

Still, challenge or not, he knew what he had to do, so he put on his game face and surged forward. With a lot of effort, he managed to be ready to go only a little after Cloud got his own affairs settled. They made their way up, but Zack was surprised to see they didn't go straight for the roof or the SOLDIER floor to request transport. Instead, they went to the executive apartments, which Zack had never visited.

"Uh...?" he asked unintelligently while looking around.

"Calling in a favor," Cloud explained.

He led them straight to the door at the end of the hall and knocked loudly. No one answered, and Cloud knocked again. Once again, silence. Cloud made a frustrated noise and lifted his hand to knock a third time, in what looked like it was going to be a very loud one, but the door opened first.

"Swear to _God_ , if you knock one more fuckin' time, I'ma kill ya," Reno growled while leaning against the doorframe, bare from the waist up. Zack felt a glare form on his face before he even cognitively recognized he was looking at Reno half naked. "What the fuck do ya want at this hour?"

"Need a ride to Banora," Cloud said with a careless smirk and shrug. Reno looked almost uncomprehending before a murderous look took over.

"And ya thought ya'd ruin my fuckin' beauty sleep to get it? Fuck no. Go ask one of your SOLDIER friends."

"I need you to see if a transmission came out of Banora from Angeal. I could get Tseng, but I trust him even less than I trust you."

Reno opened his mouth to respond, but a scratching noise interrupted him. The redhead turned around and glared viciously at something behind him. "Shut up ya mutt. Why the hell did'ja give this damn thing to Rufus anyway? Better question, what the fuck does he see in this mongrel? He won't let me get rid of it. I tell ya what he named it? Dark Nation. Sometimes I'm left questionin' the man I'm sleepin' with."

Zack had to force himself to hold his ground and not back up as a large black muzzle stuck itself out towards them from the small space between Reno and the door. He couldn't see much of what it was, but it certainly did have some fairly serious looking teeth.

"Yes," a smooth voice came behind Reno somewhere in the apartment,. "And sometimes _I'm_ left questioning the man I'm sleeping with. Really, Reno. Do invite them in."

Cloud took that as an invitation in and of itself and pushed past Reno and the nosy beast behind him. Zack followed carefully; trying to side-step both of them. It wasn't entirely effective as he was left pressed between Reno and the door jam. The redhead grinned lewdly and pushed even closer. Zack just glared and all but flung himself away, towards Cloud.

Cloud, on the other hand, seemed to be having something of a staring contest with another half-naked man, who Zack could only assume to be Rufus Shinra. The other blond was almost beautiful and Zack could definitely see the resemblance between the two brothers.

"What exactly do you need?" Rufus asked with a slow raise of his eyebrow.

"Your dog to fly us out to Banora. I've got something for him to check on."

Rufus smiled in amusement and waved a hand. "I'm loath to give him up for a day, but so be it. Just make sure to get him back in one piece. I still have use for him."

"I'll do my best," Cloud mocked. Reno just growled a little under his breath and stalked off towards a back room; presumably to get dressed. The big black _thing_ crept up to the couch and cuddled up to Shinra's legs with a threatening growl in our direction. Cloud glared down at the animal while muttering, "I hate that stupid thing."

"Then why did you give him to me? I'll admit, I was more than a little confused when you foisted him upon me out of the blue, but he's grown on me," the smaller blond purred affectionately as he scratched the creature's head. It just tilted its head towards its master and let out a rumbling noise that Zack wasn't quite sure what to call.

"Long story. Just don't ever send him to attack me. I _will_ kill it."

Rufus actually looked sincerely shocked and annoyed as he responded, "Well that's disgustingly heartless. Have issues with animals?"

"Only the ones people try to get me killed with," Cloud said with a distasteful curl of his lip.

"Alright, alright. Let's get this fuckin' show on the road. I ain't got all morning for this shit." Reno came out of one of the rooms, dressed hastily in his Turk uniform, and was strapping his various weapons on as he walked towards the front door.

"Have a good trip," Rufus offered with a rather cold smile. "Don't get into any trouble, Cloud. I'd hate for you to be hurt."

"Yeah, right. I'll be fine. Work faster on what you're supposed to be doing."

"I suggest you try to win over a board of executives that all want your birthright for themselves by explaining to them why you're still going to take it and do better than they would in control. It's not a glorified as fighting at war, but there may be even more cutthroats in the last four levels of Shinra than in all of Wutai."

"Have fun with that," Cloud offered with a shrug as he followed Reno out of the apartment.

* * *

They ended up flying directly to Banora in one of the Shinra helicopters. Reno decided to stay with the chopper, because he could apparently do whatever Cloud wanted him to right there. Him and Cloud, instead, trekked up through the small forest surrounding the high sitting town.

Zack realized a few certain things about Banora very quickly. One, he recognized everything just like he had in Nibelheim. Two, none of these memories were very good. Three, the sight of purple apples was right up there with fire and the color white on the list of things that freaked him the fuck out.

He stopped walking at stared up at the big trees which had these strange purple apples growing on them, and was filled with a sense of extreme dread. All he could hear was Genesis quoting LOVELESS in the back of his mind, which was a whole new level of scary.

"Wh—What are those apples?" he stuttered slightly, edging around the tree like it was just going to reach out and grab him. Cloud looked up, surprised, and then looked rather confused at Zack's reaction. He couldn't even blame him. Who the hell is afraid of apples?

"Banora Whites. Some people call them—"

"Dumbapples?" He wasn't quite sure how he knew what they were called, but Cloud nodded his head. "I hate them," he finally whispered after staring at them for a few solid minutes.

Cloud approached him slowly and grabbed his shaking hand. "I guess they probably remind you of Genesis or Angeal from your past life. All I know is that they somehow factored in with Genesis' degradation. The two likely put a lot of significance on the apples, since they're both from here. People from Banora consider the apples to be almost sacred."

"I just... don't like them," Zack explained uselessly.

"That's fine, Zack," Cloud soothed. "I don't _puppet_ _shows_. It's fine to have silly things that remind you of something darker. It's a lot better to hate a type of apples, then to distrust all humans. It's a better projection than what most people create."

Zack nodded slowly before his brain caught up with what Cloud said. He looked at him and frowned, eyebrows scrunching up. "Why don't you like puppet shows?"

Cloud grimaced a little as he answered, "Sephirot—Jenova used to call me a puppet, because she could control me. Puppet shows remind me of someone pulling _my_ strings, and that's my worst fear."

"Oh," Zack murmured as he pulled Cloud into a hug. It was a deflection of his own fear, but it still made him feel better to be giving comfort, even if Cloud didn't really need it, then to be looking for it over a bunch of damn apples.

They continued on after that, but Zack was dismayed to find the stupid things all over Banora. He glared angrily at every tree he passed along the way; like he could make them spontaneously crumble into ash. No such luck; they all continued to stand tall.

The village was still bustling with people when they arrived in the heart of it, and Zack found this almost strange. His memories had distinctly painted this as a ghost town, but he was relieved to see signs of life. Cloud seemed to know where to go, and so Zack just followed him as he led them straight through the town. People looked and waved at them, as though they knew the SOLDIERs. Cloud's small hand greetings told Zack that they _did_ know them, or at least Cloud. He knew that Cloud had spent all these months alone looking for Angeal, Genesis, and Hojo, but he hadn't realized just how often Cloud was traveling if even strangers in Banora knew him on sight.

They spoke to Gillian Hewley, but were disappointed to find she knew nothing more about her son than the last time Cloud had visited. She was interested to meet Zack, but his excitement at meeting Angeal's mother was tempered by a deep and unrelenting sadness in his heart when he looked at her. He tried to force it down, but apparently Zack-the-second really felt that he needed to know that something _bad_ was going to happen here. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but something would happen to Banora and this kind old woman wouldn't escape unscathed.

Cloud led them to Genesis' house next only to meet the same result. Neither knew anything. Already things were shaping up to indicate that Seph had been dreaming about the call, but they decided to check the factory as a last ditch effort.

The factory was an old, run down building with what looked to be absolutely nothing on the inside. The breath, that Zack didn't know he was holding, was released in a final defeated sigh as they combed over the empty building. Everything had a thick layer of dust coating it and there were no signs that anyone had been there in quite some time. They walked through the building, still finding nothing. With each empty room, Zack's hope crumbled a little more.

"I knew it was just a dream," Cloud grumbled.

Zack looked over sympathetically. It was clear that they hope had even invaded Cloud's heart, and now the let down was affecting both of them. "This sucks, but at least it's not bad news. Righ—," he cut off as he walked into the last room on the second floor.

Angeal's sword was in the middle of the room. There was no one around with it, so Zack rushed in for a better look. Cloud followed close behind, and drew his own sword at the sight of Angeal's.

"Angeal?" Cloud called tentatively, as Zack approached the dusty Buster Sword.

It was positively _covered_ in dust. There was no chance that anyone or anything had moved this sword in months, which meant that Angeal was already long gone. Zack's heart gave a pang as he reached out to wrap a hand around the hilt. All that hope was crushed within the instant of seeing the sword, Angeal's _pride_ , abandoned. There's no way in hell Angeal would leave this behind if things weren't dire.

His hand had barely brushed the hilt when he was hit with a staggering force, but it was from the _inside_. Cloud didn't even react, because there was no assailant, as Zack's head suddenly felt like it was going to explode. His mouth dropped open to call for Cloud only to let out a pained scream as the flood of memories assaulted him.

Cloud rushed to his side, falling down and pulling his face into his hands. "Zack? _Zack?_ What's wrong?"

Zack's mouth opened and closed uselessly as he fought to tell Cloud what was happening, but he could barely even see anymore. All he could see was Angeal, hair white, covered in blood, and _dying_. All he could see was Cloud opened up like a fucking _animal_ on Hojo's table. He could hear the screams as Hojo moved a scalpel against Cloud's skin, but they weren't even coming from Cloud; it was Zack himself yelling for the madman to stop hurting Cloud. Gaia Cloud was so _small_.

He could feel the piercing stabs of dozens of bullets as they lodged themselves in his chest, and the swell of determination to make certain he took every single one of those bastards with him to hell.

The smell of Cloud's scent, muddled by the acidic smell of mako, and the warmth of his small body pressed into his arms. That last moment, in the rain, as he said goodbye. The feeling of sheer _joy_ that Cloud was awake; that he had done _one_ thing right, even if he was going to die for it.

Tears streamed down his face as the last barrier keeping him safe from his old memories collapsed under the tide. His hand gripped the sword desperately now. It was his lifeline, and he could remember the years he spent holding it. The years he spent looking at it as it stood as his grave marker.

The sword was his, but for it to be his, it couldn't be Angeal's anymore. And that's what really put the final nail in the coffin. Zack could remember Sephiroth; bonding with him over the loss of Angeal, their feelings of being abandoned. He could remember meeting Cloud and leaving Genesis behind in Banora at the end. Nibelheim burning. Banora burning. Gongaga... He didn't even _know_ what happened there, but it was half destroyed the last time he saw it.

Oh and the end. He could remember the end of it all. Watching as the people starved in the church, waiting for that fleeting moment of being with Cloud again before they had to send him back, and the hope that they'd be reunited on the other side.

"...Zack?! Zack, please answer me. What's wrong with you? What hurts?"

Zack looked up at Cloud through tear filled eyes and was dumbstruck by the sight of his friend, lover, brother-in-arms. All grown up, alive, and they were _together_.

"I—," he started, swallowing when his voice failed him. "I remember."

Cloud nodded in encouragement, but didn't look comforted in the slightest. "Remember what?"

"Everything," Zack choked before finishing in a weak whisper, "I remember... everything."


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Some Angst and Fluff. All Zack again.
> 
> Monday is my birthday so that is very much at risk of being postponed.
> 
> Next Update: Nov 4th or 6th

Zack could hardly describe the feelings rushing through his body at the moment. All the sorrow and joy and fear melded together in a whirlwind of emotion that would not be stopped.

In an instant, he was no longer a seventeen year old kid with the memories of his past life, but the opposite. The merge was complete, so he could feel the youthful optimism of his teenager years and the experience earned perception of his adult life.

He looked down at the Buster Sword in his hand and he just _knew_ that Angeal wasn't coming back. His friend wouldn't have left this sword if he had any hopes of escape. The man hadn't given it up until his dying breath the last time; it was a symbol of all his honor and pride. This was his goodbye; his warning. Certainly, Angeal couldn't have predicted what it would do to Zack, but that didn't matter much. Angeal still would have wanted him or Cloud to have it.

Cloud was talking to him, but Zack's brain distanced itself from the noise so that he was confused when he finally tuned back in. His friend—his _boyfriend_ —looked aggrieved on Zack's behalf, and he felt bad for worrying Cloud like this. He reached a hand up and cupped Cloud's face gently, causing Cloud to pause.

"I'm okay, Cloud," he whispered, unable to summon a stronger tone. "It's just... Kind of overwhelming, y'know? I'll be fine. I always am, right?" Cloud nodded stiffly and Zack had to laugh a little. Cloud just hadn't changed at all.

Overcome with the emotion of the moment, he leaned in and pressed his lips to Cloud's carefully. The taste of his mouth was heaven on Gaia and Zack couldn't stop the small moan of happiness and pleasure as he relished in the kiss. They hadn't kissed like this, both alive, since the labs. Or at least, Zack felt like that was the last time. He supposed they'd been doing plenty of kissing over the last few years that Cloud had been back.

When he drew away, he kept his forehead pressed to Cloud's and stared into his blue-green eyes lovingly. It was magical to actually be here with him. After a lifetime of separation, they finally found their way back to each other.

In truth, when he stopped trying to cling to all the memories of his last life, he found he still had all the memories and feelings of living again as a teenager. He could still even remember the fear that he wouldn't be the same person when his memories finally all caught up, but he was pleased to note that wasn't the case. Everything just fit like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle; the old _and_ the new.

The feeling of having to most likely lose Angeal again was almost immediately washed away by the fact that _Seph_ was alive, sane, and normal. His best friend was himself again and now they had a better chance of saving him before he ended up losing his mind again. If that wasn't worth celebrating, Zack didn't know what was.

A bright smile broke out on his face and he pulled Cloud into his arms tightly. "This is perfect. We've got another chance. We can make it all better this time," he murmured joyfully even as tears sprung back into his eyes.

"I promise it _will_ be better, Zack. I won't let you down this time," Cloud said softly in his same 'world on my shoulders' tone that Zack was so familiar with. His smile widened and went a little bittersweet at the sound of it.

"We're together in this, Spike. We've got each other now. I'm not going anywhere ever again."

"They'd have to get through me first," Cloud snarled and tightened his arms around Zack's waist. Zack laughed and pressed a kiss to the side of Cloud's neck.

"Hey! I'm not some princess in need of saving. I can swing my sword as well as the next SOLDIER—Holy shit. You're a SOLDIER! You... Outrank me!" he sputtered. "Aw man, you mean to tell me you ended up getting _my_ job? That's not fair!"

Cloud laughed in his own right and sat back to smirk at him. "Sorry, I thought _you_ were Fair."

"No, no, no; none of that joke. We outgrew that a _lo—ng_ time ago."

"Sure we did," Cloud said almost deviously. Zack soaked in his friend's good cheer; the last time the older part of him had seen Cloud so happy was before the first Nibelheim had even happened. "Just like we outgrew you calling me Spike. Now let's get the hell out of here. We're going to need to regroup with Aeris now."

"Aeris," Zack breathed reverently for a moment before it hit him that she was alive too. "This is _so fucking awesome_."

Cloud smiled wide at him and stood. Zack took the hand that extended to help him up and he ended up getting tugged right into Cloud's open arms. Unable to stop himself, he wrapped his arms around his friend's neck and pressed into him for a deep kiss.

It was a little strange, to be the smaller one, but he couldn't say he minded much. Just so long as Cloud was smiling, Zack would take anything his friend gave him.

When they pulled back, their lips were wet and Zack couldn't help but stare at how damn gorgeous Cloud was now. He'd been beautiful in their last life, and nothing had really changed physically, but the light in his eyes really improved on his looks. He didn't think he would ever grow tired of seeing Cloud smile now that he had a taste for how amazing it could be.

It was a little hard to step away, but he knew it was important for them to get back to see Aeris. And Yuffie, if his memories were working correctly. He reached down and hoisted up the Buster Sword; remembering its weight in his hand. The weight of it settled across his back and he straightened up. The sword made it impossible to slouch; something he'd often realized contributed to how larger than life the wielder looked with it. Angeal had that affect when Zack was a kid, and then Zack noticed even _he_ had that affect as an adult.

He was still a little short to be using it, which annoyed him more than a little. He couldn't imagine how Cloud managed to keep his cool when he realized he was a kid again; Zack would have likely been uselessly furious at being sized down to the point of being unable to fight.

They walked briskly out of the factory and, notably, avoided town on their way back to the helicopter. Zack figured that Cloud probably didn't want to risk anyone letting Angeal's mom know about the sword. The poor old woman didn't need that kind of pain when her son was already missing.

Walking through the area this time might have even been more disconcerting than the first time. Now he remembered the apples; handing them out to the Director, Cloud, and Genesis as they all just laid there lifelessly. Reading Aeris' last letter to him... It all stung, but he forced himself to be strong. He could remember the fire as Tseng bombed the town, and that drew his mind back to Nibelheim. Against his will he cringed and his eyes prickled a little.

Cloud paused and looked at him in concern as he asked, "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing. Just... nothing," Zack said awkwardly as he scratched at the back of his neck. He didn't really want to bring up anything that would ruin the mood, but knowing Cloud had lost his home _twice_ hurt.

"You can talk to me about it, Zack. I know you must be going through a lot now; with your memories being restored. You're always telling me that I'm not alone, well neither are you," Cloud offered, both strong and soothing at the same time, as the continued to walk.

Zack looked at his friend carefully and marveled at how grown up his Cloud had become. Sure, he got to watch it happen from the Lifestream, but it didn't compare to being shoulder to shoulder with him. Seeing Cloud decked out in the uniform of a First class SOLDIER; a uniform he _earned_ this time. It made the younger pieces of him tingle with something Zack could only figure was hero-worship. He smiled at the thought; it was fitting that he'd be the one to look up to Cloud this time around.

"I'm alright," Zack said with a grin. "I think I'm due a little memory trouble, since it was you who got stuck with it last time."

Cloud rolled his eyes as he shot Zack a frustrated look. "Yes, and I remember how devastating it was when everything fell back into place. You don't have to act like you've got it all under control for me."

Zack's smile turned bitter for a moment. "Force of habit."

His friend sighed and draped an arm around his shoulders, causing Zack to stumble a little as he was pulled closer to Cloud. "Suit yourself. But when something big happens and you end up in a lot of emotional pain because you didn't let me help you sort it out _now_ , don't blame me."

"I wouldn't blame you anyway, Spike," he said while sticking his tongue out at Cloud. Faster than lightning, the blond spun around and caught his tongue in a passionate kiss. Zack groaned and sagged into the kiss. When the hell had Cloud become so damn good at dominating these? Zack felt like a kid fumbling around with an older and more experienced lover, despite _knowing_ he still had more partners than Cloud had. Though they were all women.

They pulled apart after a few moments and Zack couldn't help the panting breaths he was taking. Fuck that was good.

"Now, if yer done, can we get the hell out of here? No fuckin' transmissions. Ya dragged me out here for nothin', Cloud," the voice of Reno came from behind them, startling Zack. He raised a hand to grasp at his sword, instincts kicking in, but Cloud was faster. His hand was stopped in its tracks as Cloud grabbed it.

Zack had the decency to look a little embarrassed as Cloud raised an eyebrow at his jumpiness. "Whoops," he whispered in apology.

Cloud shook his head and moved around him to board the helicopter that was tucked right behind the line of trees in front of them. Zack followed and felt a little sick as old anger curled in his belly at the sight of Reno. The redhead seemed to sense this, or perhaps he just saw Zack's deadly glare, and he smiled cruelly in greeting.

Zack didn't like him. He'd never liked the man, but the memories of his last life finally pieced it all together for him. From watching over Cloud's shoulder as the Turk _murdered_ everyone in Sector 7 to watching as they tumbled around in bed together years later. In fact, the jealousy of knowing that Reno could be with _his_ Cloud, while Zack was dead, outweighed the anger at the man's dishonorable job.

He knew, of course, that Cloud didn't feel anything for the man other than annoyance and some respect for a fellow fighter, but that didn't make him any less upset that he'd sleep with him. Zack had very carefully swallowed all his fury about it before, because it really wasn't his place to say who Cloud could have sex with while Zack was just a ghost, but now he was very much against them spending too much time together. The redhead's wild personality was a little too enticing for him to feel comfortable with his boyfriend, which he had to remind himself that Cloud _was_ his boyfriend, hanging around him. It didn't help that Reno didn't even try to disguise his interest in Cloud. If anything, he flaunted it just to upset Zack.

"What's wrong, boy wonder? Ya look pissy," Reno snickered.

"Just wondering how such a scumbag got a job with Shinra, but then I remembered you must fit right in," Zack sneered back.

"Ooh, watch out. We've got a badass over here."

"Both of you: shut up. Let's get out of here," Cloud chastised, though he was smirking. Zack sent Reno one last hateful glare and then climbed into the helicopter next to Cloud.

"So I'm gonna guess we didn't find anythin' other than the sword," Reno remarked as he went over pre-flight motions.

"We found Zack's memories. That's better than nothing," Cloud explained with a shrug.

"Memories?"

"Yeah," Zack confirmed in an unfriendly tone. "I remember where Cloud and I came from and the life we lived. So how's Cissnei?"

"Who?" Cloud and Reno asked simultaneously, but Reno recovered first and continued, "Ya mean Shuriken? Not many call'er by that name. What's up with you two and knowing so many fuckin' Turks by all their names. An' she's fine. Why do ya ask?"

Zack just glared again in response. Cissnei had been one of the first people he checked up on when he died; just after Aeris. The girl was found out for helping him and Cloud not long after that. Poor Cissnei paid the ultimate price for it. Termination from the Turks was a permanent form of retirement. Reno had carried out the deed.

* * *

The ride back to Midgar was almost entirely silent, and Zack used the time to sort through all his new memories. Everything fell into place easily enough, but some memories felt so foreign. Like being with pretty much _all_ his old partners. The idea of being with women was just odd now that he'd spent two lifetimes being in love with Cloud. Hell even remembering his days being _top_ with Cloud were strange. His boyfriend was quite thoroughly a dominate lover these days. He didn't even think that Cloud had bottomed since they'd been together in the labs.

Thoughts of Seph left him almost guilty for the old one he'd known in the past life. It had been more than a little clear that Seph had feelings for him back then, but Zack had always deflected them using his desire for women as an excuse. Then he ended up in a relationship with another guy, which made him more or less a liar. Now he was worried that Seph may start harboring the same feelings and he'd still have to turn him away. Though, Zack supposed, it was just as likely that Seph might find himself attracted to Cloud instead.

An image of Seph and Cloud having... 'relations' invaded his mind and he chuckled without thinking. All he could imagine was them trying to make it to the bedroom while having a never ending argument about who got to top before they just said fuck it and gave up. Neither were the type to back down when they were adamant about something.

Cloud gave him an inquiring look and Zack just shook his head quickly; too quickly to be innocent. Luckily, his boyfriend just snorted and let the matter go. Good for him; Zack wasn't up for explaining that train of thought to Cloud today.

Soon afterwards, Cloud actually decided to call Seph to report back on what had happened in Banora. Zack listened in intently to verify his memories that they seemed to be getting along somewhat.

"Sephiroth," Cloud greeted when the other man likely picked up. "There was nothing in Banora except the sword. Angeal hadn't even called from there."

Zack couldn't hear what Seph responded with but he could see the look of annoyance cross Cloud's face.

"I checked high and low. He wasn't there. Whenever he left the sword had been months ago; it was covered in dust. I—No. Zack has it, and he's going to keep it. If it's not in Angeal's hand, it belongs to Zack." A pause as Seph must have said something and then Cloud continued. "It restored his memories. Zack's memories. He's used the sword for years in the past. It's how it's meant to be."

Zack watched as Cloud grew more annoyed at whatever it was that Sephiroth was saying, but didn't lose his temper. Instead, he ended coolly with, "You'll just have to see for yourself when you see him next. We'll talk later." He hung up without waiting for a response and slumped back against the seat.

"Hard, huh?" Zack asked carefully.

Cloud nodded without looking at him before saying, "He murdered everyone I ever loved."

"Well, he _technically_ didn't kill me, but I get what you're saying. You're doing good all things considered," he offered gently while scooting closer to the blond.

"Yeah," Cloud said with a smirk. "I said he murdered everyone I ever _loved_. Never said anything about _you_."

Zack laughed, knowing Cloud was joking, and punched him on the shoulder lightly. His boyfriend smiled and tugged Zack even closer. Like an affectionate animal, Zack laid his head against Cloud like he'd become fond of doing when they were running from Shinra. Cloud hadn't been able to cuddle exactly at the time, what with the mako poisoning, but Zack was able to hold him as they slept and laying his head against the comatose boy was a comfort.

* * *

They landed in Midgar about an hour later and headed straight for the slums. Zack looked around in awe at the familiar surroundings. It was amazing to him that everything could be so much the same, though it was technically the only a few years earlier than he'd experienced seeing these places the first time. Even the Church was wholly the same, though it was missing the holes in the roof that Cloud and Zack had put there.

The girls were tending the flowers when they arrived and Zack couldn't help but stop dead in his tracks at the sight of Aeris, alive and as beautiful as he remembered, coming over to greet them. Her eyes were a different color, much more natural now, but he knew she wasn't an Ancient anymore already. She'd known it would happen even before they took the trip back into the past.

Before she reached them, her bright smile dimmed. "Oh! You found the sword. Was Angeal...?" she asked carefully when she spotted the Buster Sword.

Just the sound of her voice broke him. "Aeris," he choked and took a staggering step forward. She seemed confused as he rushed over to pull her into a tight hug.

"Zack, what's wrong?"

"N-nothing," he whispered emotionally. "Just glad to be alive."

She relaxed then and embraced him back. "You remember." It was a statement, and all Zack could do was nod silently. She drew back and smiled a little sad at him. "That's good. I knew you'd remember eventually. How are you feeling?"

Zack laughed somewhat weakly as he answered, "I've both never been better and yet I feel kind of lost, but I'll get it together. It's just a little jarring. Feel like an emotional basket case."

"That's to be expected," Aeris said softly as she cupped his face in her hands. "The Lifestream is a place of peace. It helped hold you together back then, when you really would have been breaking down. Now you're on Gaia again, so all that pain is back. But you'll be fine. Cloud will hold you together."

Suddenly it occurred to him that he was dating Cloud, but Aeris _wasn't_. Guilt flooded his body at the thought. Cloud had been so damn in love with her, and she him. He wondered if he wasn't being selfish by clinging onto Cloud when he should be with his fiancée of the last life. Their relationship had been built on stronger ground than his and Cloud's, which formed from desperation in the labs.

Zack looked between the two, a mixture of sadness and guilt on his face, as he contemplated stepping back and not being a third wheel anymore. The younger part of him disagreed; that Cloud could have chosen her already. But the older pieces knew that Cloud would never hurt him like that, even if it wasn't what he wanted.

Apparently, Aeris was still perceptive enough to know what he was thinking and she smacked him on the back of the head. He yelped and looked at her with wide, confused eyes.

"Stop that. Just be happy with what you've got, Zack. He's yours for now, but if you keep doubting yourself so much then maybe I _will_ come snatch him up for myself," she threatened with a small smile. Abruptly, she leaned in and kissed him gently on the cheek. Relaxing a little with her blessing, he turned and kissed her forehead in response. They'd managed to share what little time they had with Cloud once, they could do so now.

Cloud chose this moment to stop being a spectator and pulled them both into his arms. "There's probably enough of me to go around," he offered. They grinned in unison and each kissed him on his cheeks as well. Their love smiled a little and tightened his hold on them. "Much better," Cloud purred into Zack's hair as he nuzzled the spikes.

Yuffie interrupted a moment later with a fake gagging noise and Aeris broke away to chase her down playfully. Zack laughed and gave chase as well when the little ninja managed to evade her. Cloud stood back and watched with the most contented look Zack had ever seen on his lover's face. Even when things weren't going well elsewhere, Zack could honestly say that the moment was perfect. This was all he really ever needed.

* * *

It was a week later that he returned to Wutai, when his leave ended. Zack wasn't quite ready for it, but he didn't really have much of a choice. Seph apparently really needed him over there, and how could Zack say no? He knew he was going to have to throw it into overdrive in his attempts to weasel his way into Seph's good graces this time. He needed to be an even _better_ best friend, so that Seph had _zero_ reasons to want to listen to Jenova.

The other man was waiting for him when Zack arrived back in Hailei via helicopter. They could afford to use air travel now that half the fucking forest had been burned down.

"Zackary," Seph greet warmly though he looked a little sad at the sight of the Buster Sword slung across his back.

Zack had planned out a big speech for seeing him again, so that he could both get Seph used to the idea that he now had extra years of knowing him as well as telling him how important he was to him as a friend. Unfortunately, Zack hadn't planned for how emotional it would be to see him again; sane and _happy_ to see Zack. All thoughts beyond joy fled from him the second he heard his name, his stupid full name, spoken so cheerfully by the normally quiet man.

Barely two seconds later, he all but teleported out of the helicopter and right up to Seph to pull him into a hug so tight that it might have broken a smaller man's ribs. He found himself crying again, but he couldn't even stop. The idiot would probably never even know how damn good it was to see him.

Suddenly, more than a little angry despite himself, he slammed his fist against his friend's chest and choked, "You bastard. I can't believe you made me fight you. Did you think I'd actually be able to kill you? After Angeal and Genesis? F-fuck. I should ignore you for like a week straight, and you won't even know why. Goddammit Seph, don't ever do that to me again."

"I... don't follow," Seph said slowly.

"Memories," Zack muttered and tightened his hug again almost maliciously. Let it hurt him a little bit.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed! More Zack! Swearing! All of that good stuff.
> 
> Thank you all SO much for the awesome happy birthday wishes. I'm really glad that all of you seemed to enjoy the last chapter despite it being a very rushed affair. Hopefully I can keep quality up through the rest of this busy week. Luckily, this busy streak is almost over. The Updates on the 8th and 10th are the last of the two cancelable updates. After that we're back on track for the regularly scheduled stuff.
> 
> Next Update: Nov 8th (if all goes well)

"So... how do you feel?"

Zack didn't really know how to respond to that, but he felt like he should anyway. Seph looked exceedingly worried since Zack's minor breakdown upon arrival. The man had always been prone to over-thinking emotional outbursts that he didn't understand, so Zack wasn't all that surprised.

"Just... Conflicted I guess," Zack muttered. "I don't have a damn clue how Cloud managed to handle this for so long. The double memories. It had to be even worse for him, because the second set wasn't even his. He was seeing life through my eyes when his own life had been so different. Won't lie; it did him some good at the time. Between him and I sharing a body and soul, and my memories, he ended up coming out of his shell a lot. Didn't really help much in the end...," he trailed off, wincing at the memory of Aeris' death.

"Why not?" Seph inquired. Zack was hit with another wave of resistance in answering. Something about telling Seph all of Cloud's sore points felt like a dangerous move. In his defense, he did seem just honestly curious, but Zack couldn't stop the twisting distrust that lingered in his gut.

He hated the feeling. Zack wanted nothing more than to forgive Seph and start it all over. Hell, he'd been under the impression that it wouldn't even be so hard, since Zack wasn't the one who lost everything to his insanity. But it ended up being just as difficult for him to move past it as it was for Cloud. How do you get past the fact that he shares the same face, body, and sword with the person you watched burn an entire village of people alive?

Shifting in his seat, he replied, "Just meant he had something to lose. Cloud didn't like having things he cared for, because you—I-I mean Jenova. Fuck, I'm sorry."

Zack dropped his head to his hands and tugged at his hair in frustration. Way to go, genius.

Seph looked away, some hurt blossoming on his face before it was covered up. "It's... alright. I understand that it may be... hard to accept."

The soft tone hit Zack harder than even his own guilt could. He felt like a complete idiot for upsetting Seph. Especially when the man really needed Zack's support to keep a clear head. There was no telling when Hojo, Jenova, or Genesis would make their moves, and Seph was guaranteed to be a target. The last thing he needed right now was to feel like the enemy.

"No, it's not alright. That was stupid of me. I'm sorry, Seph," Zack offered sincerely as he leaned in closer and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "I don't blame you, Seph. It's only because you look alike and Cloud always just referred to her by your name."

"Doesn't he have every right? She used me as a tool to ruin his life," his friend asked miserably.

"That's _her_ fault; not yours. Don't take it out on yourself, Seph. You've done nothing wrong. And so long as you continue to resist her, then you won't be in danger of doing anything wrong ever. We're here to back you up. Me and Cloud; even if he doesn't act like it," he said soothingly.

Seph looked him right in the eyes and frowned darkly. "He won't ever forgive me either way."

Zack flinched at the truth of it. There was no way in hell that Cloud would ever put it in the past, and Zack couldn't even really ask him to. It was unrealistic to assume that Cloud would be able to forgive the person who took everything he loved away from him. The best they could hope for is more of the same; a truce that doesn't result in violence. It worked in Seph's favor that Zack was willing to forgive for the most part, because Cloud would try harder just for Zack's sake if nothing else.

And Zack didn't doubt his ability to forgive in the long run, but he also knew he'd never forget. If he didn't forget, and never would, then the potential for the reopening of wounds would be high. He knew that, logically, one bad situation and even his own support could be on shaky ground.

Zack shivered against his will at the idea of seeing Seph in the middle of a burning town.

It wouldn't matter what happened or why, but if he didn't resolve his fears then Seph would be walking on eggshells for the rest of his life and that wasn't fair to him.

"Just... give it time, Seph," he said finally. "We'll work it out in time, but for now things are okay. _I'm_ okay. I know it's a little weird, cause I've got all these years in my brain that haven't happened for you yet, but it won't matter in the end. We'll rebuild from a better base. Trust me, you're a hell of a lot easier to talk to now then you were when we _actually_ became friends. Maybe because... I met you before Genesis and Angeal were gone this time."

Seph sighed and watched him carefully as he asked the question Zack had been dreading, "There's no hope for them... is there?"

He hung his head again and took a breath before answering, "Probably not. Genesis ended up cured the last time, but I don't even know what happened to him. I want to say he died, but I never got a chance to find out. Angeal..." Zack swallowed as he finished, "Angeal transformed himself into a monster and forced me to kill him. He couldn't take living like that anymore. Knowing what went into creating him."

Seph looked a little too pensive for Zack's tastes and he wondered if telling him about what forced Angeal to want to die was a good idea. It was quite similar to what drove Sephiroth insane in the first place, after all. But Zack steeled himself and didn't withdraw anything he said. He believed that the lack of information had been what did Seph in the first time, and he definitely didn't deserve being lied to. Better to get it all out in the open from someone he trusts.

"What exactly is wrong with them? Cloud has never explained."

Zack was a little shocked at the nature of the question, but answered anyway, "Genesis is degrading. His body, uh, _leaks_ information. I don't really get it personally; I never did. All I know is that it's fatal and that it speeds up every time he makes a clone. He took all the SOLDIERs to make clones. Or at least, that's what happened the last time."

Seph nodded slowly. "Is there no way to plug this leak?"

"Tape his mouth shut maybe? At least it'd shut up all the fucking LOVELESS," Zack snorted before realizing the joke was in terrible taste. "Uh, sorry. He and I don't really get along. I meant: No, not that I know of. _Maybe_ someone else could figure it out, a scientist, but we don't really have anyone like that. Reeve isn't versed enough in it to riddle it out. An Ancient might have been able to fix it too, but we don't have any of those now either."

"An Ancient?" Seph asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, Aeris. She was the last of the Cetra, but she sacrificed it to send us all back."

"...I've been meaning to ask," Seph started carefully. "You mentioned she died... And I've gathered that she's clearly very important to Cloud. Is she... one of those people I killed?"

Zack couldn't have stifled the pained look that crossed his face if he tried. "—Yeah," he whispered.

"Well... I suppose that solves one mystery. I was wondering why she hated me as well," Seph sighed in resignation.

"That's just because she's human now. From what I can tell, she's got the full range of human emotion. She's been kinda quiet about it, probably to keep Cloud from worrying, but I spent plenty of time with her in the Lifestream and she's not the same. She almost _never_ got angry before, and now I see it in her pretty often. It's nothing to worry about, but don't you ever draw your sword near her. If Cloud gets wind of it, he _will_ kill you before asking questions," Zack insisted. He left out the part where he would probably do the same if he saw Seph do that as well.

"I have no intentions of doing so," Seph assured, though he looked a little sad that Zack had felt the need to remind him.

Zack felt bad again and decided to move closer to his friend to give him a hug. It was a nice change that Seph was already well accustomed to Zack's preferred method of comfort and greeting; something he could thank his younger self for. The older man's long silver hair tickled his neck as Seph actually just relaxed into the embrace and placed his chin on Zack's head.

It was a marvel that Seph could be so _different_ this time, and only a few years younger. It left him wondering if Cloud's cells didn't have something to do with it to some extent. Since Cloud had developed a hardened personality after receiving Sephiroth's cells, but that short stretch of time where Cloud had no J-cells at all proved that false. All he could assume was that Seph had been in a more needy frame of mind during these ages than when Zack had grown close to him before.

It wasn't hard to imagine. Losing everything made Cloud shut down too, and Genesis and Angeal had been Seph's everything. By the time Zack clued in on the fact that Seph needed him, it was almost too late to warm the ice around his heart.

They didn't move for a long time after that, and Zack didn't bother complaining when the awkward position began to make his neck ache. If Seph was even a little bit comforted by the hug, then Zack could endure it for however long was necessary.

* * *

The week after that dragged on, as weeks on the front were prone to doing. Still, Zack was happy to be out there rather than behind a desk in Midgar. Poor Cloud was probably getting a taste of why Zack was always roaming the halls back when he'd been Lt. General. The paperwork that they could be expected to complete was _murder_.

Though, nothing really ever came of it if they didn't submit it. Zack had found that out quickly, which fueled his belief that it was really just a plot to keep the SOLDIERs in line while not at war. Seph had never agreed with the sentiment, and often tried to force Zack to do it anyway. Of course, Zack always just responded with more goofing off. Sometimes it was awesome what he could get away with just by being Seph's best friend and Second in Command.

"Come on, let's move out," he hissed to the handful of infantrymen following behind him.

They were on a short scouting mission northward to check the strength of Ft. Tamblin with the Wutai festivals for summer going on in the capital. These days, the infantrymen had to be escorted or else they risked losing even more fighters, which they could _not_ afford.

Zack fell back into the routine of leading quite easily, though he did feel a slight bitterness at the Shinra soldiers around him. It still cut at his heart to know that they so quickly betrayed him and cut him down outside Midgar, even after his years of loyalty.

Speaking of that, he was really going to have to avoid that backstabbing ass Kunsel. Not that he'd seen much of him recently, if his memories were correct. He half wondered if he got deployed out to Junon or something.

Zack made a small motion to the men behind him and they crept forward through the brush to get a better look at the Fort. A few deep, surprised breaths were his cue that something was up as he peeked through the foliage to see what they were seeing.

He could have snorted; just _one_ monster stationed out front. It was big, but Zack wasn't worried. That didn't mean his little infantry group wasn't. Still, he ignored them quaking in their boots and surveyed the watch towers, which all appeared empty for the most part.

It helped that it was a scarce few hours before dawn, and Shinra rarely attacked by night. Often times, the Wutai forces would meet by night and defend by day.

The infantrymen tried their best to strain their eyes and see what else they could spot, but Zack's enhanced vision finished that long before they had a chance. They were all trained specifically in scouting, but Zack wasn't some fresh-faced SOLDIER 3rd. He was a former Lt. General with the experience to match,. He didn't need five minutes to see that the Fort was unprepared for an attack.

Lifting up his radio close to his mouth, he sent a quiet broadcast of, "Seph. I'm sending the infantry back to you. Over."

"Negative. You'll all return and we will regroup. Over."

Zack smiled down at the device when he got the stern reply. Seph was just fooling himself if he though Zack was going to obey an order that stupid. The young General was trying to baby and protect Zack, who was about to show him what _he_ could do with all his returned memories.

Twitching his head back in the direction of base, he whispered to his small group, "Get out of here."

"But sir," one protested in a frantic whisper.

"No, buts. That's an order. If the General asks, tell him I threatened to kill you or something. Trust me, he'll blame me," Zack assured with a disarming smile just before he launched out of the brush and directly at the large anti-SOLDIER monster.

The infantry didn't follow him, likely out of self-preservation since the monster _was_ big, so Zack didn't bother holding back as he drew the Buster Sword and swung. The monster had been looking in a different direction when Zack started the assault, so he was able to rend through one of its legs before it ever got a chance to turn on him. The weight of its body, now unsupported, caused it to tumble to the ground with a terribly loud thud. It shouted a guttural cry of pain, which probably alerted every single Wutai soldier in the area that Zack was there.

Only... by the time that they all rushed to see what happened, he _wasn't_ there. He was using one of the unfortunately placed trees to scale the wall into the Fort. Score one for being a country boy.

It was even lighter on guards than it had been the first time Zack seized it, so he just made his way through the long pathways with little resistance.

If they engaged, he took them down as per usual, but he also didn't bother chasing down those that fled. He wasn't in the business of slaughter, and these people certainly didn't deserve what Shinra was doing to them. The only reason he cooperated at all, was because this war had to end if they had any hopes of getting Shinra in position for a power switch. Ending it also gave Wutai time to recover.

He understood the reasons, but that didn't take the sinking feeling out of his stomach at the bloodshed. It almost sickened him to know he once considered _this_ heroism.

The Fort fell in under an hour, because nothing to keep Zack from pushing forward. No matter how many they threw at him, he had dealt with so much worse in the past. It didn't help their cause that the Buster Sword was as deadly as Masamune in such tight quarters, because his opponents couldn't get far enough away to escape the reach.

Out of guilt, he tried to avoid killing blows when possible, but the power behind his limbs and sword made that very difficult. Even non-fatal wounds would kill a man if he bled out long enough.

After a little while, he managed to cut down the last of the monsters in the heart of the Fort and was left with nothing else but to wait. Seph would be along soon enough with the army to back them up, and if they held through the night, then the war could be over in under a month. The capital would never hold with them securing the Fort. It was too strong from the outside, since it had been built to defend against domestic attacks. If they built it with withstanding their own army in mind, then they'd never be able to take it back from Shinra with their guns and materia.

He was leaning against a stone pillar when he finally noticed he was being watched.

Habit forced him to remain calm as he surveyed everything he could to determine his guest. They were quiet, but Zack could hear the soft beat of a wing if he strained his hearing enough.

That narrowed it to three.

Angeal would never be just watching, because he'd know that it wouldn't be safe for Zack to linger around him if he was in danger of being found by Jenova or Genesis. And Genesis never shut his fucking mouth...

So that left only one.

"Hey, Seph," he called out, without ever turning.

"Zackary," she— _it_ —responded in Seph's voice.

He smirked a little and shook his head. Just his luck.

A peek down at his watch told him that he had at least an hour before he could hope for reinforcements, so he was on his own until then. If they fought, he knew, it'd make enough noise to get the real Seph out here quicker than the rest. So forty minutes or so then. But could he live that long?

"This may be the longest I've ever seen you still," the voice taunted as Zack finally turned to look at her. She was still wearing Seph's form, and it was disconcerting to see. She looked _exactly_ like the real Seph like that. Masamune and all.

"Hey, I can throw a curve ball from time to time," Zack quipped. "You learn how to sit pretty fucking still when you're in a cage and hoping Hojo will just walk past yours in favor of another victim for the day."

"And did that ever work for you?" she asked, almost curiously though Zack could hear the dark glee at the prospect of him in pain.

"Nah," he admitted with a scratch to the back of his neck. "Not really. I actually spent a lot more time beating against the glass in hopes of drawing the attention to myself. Better me than Cloud, but then... You know all about how much he fucked around with Cloud. He made him strong enough to kick _your_ ass, after all."

That hit a nerve, he thought, as he watched the doppelganger's face screw up in contempt. "Strife could have been perfect, but he insisted in playing human. How pathetic. And look what it cost him. Everything once, and now... everything again," it growled as it drew its Masamune.

Zack tilted his head back, still running and hand through his hair, and tried to act casual. Every moment he could stall would add up later. He had _no_ chance of beating her in a one on one. He'd done that once, and almost got killed for it.

"I don't know about that," he drawled while taking small steps sideways. He needed to put that pillar between them. "Cloud's doing pretty well."

"He won't be when I kill you and then his little Ancient," she purred viciously, taking a step towards Zack.

Zack immediately keyed in on what she said. She called Aeris an Ancient, which mean she didn't _know_ that Aeris was human now. So then she likely didn't know anything else either. If they were lucky, then they may be able to use her misconceptions against her. Bait her with Holy maybe. It was just a dead materia now, so losing it wouldn't be much of a loss.

Grinning cockily, he reached a hand down into his pocket, in what looked like a meaningless gesture, and unlatched the holster of his gun. With a feigned relaxed stance, even as she advanced, he shrugged and said, "Guess I'll just have to make sure to stop you."

She opened her mouth, with a wide smile, to retort, but didn't get a chance as a bullet cut right through her throat. Zack fired every shot he had before diving behind the stone pillar and drawing his sword. It didn't buy him any time, she cut it in half barely a second later.

Diving back, he lifted the Buster Sword to defend and managed to block the slash just in time.

"How foolish," she hissed as she bore down with all of Seph's strength on Zack's sword. His footing faltered slightly at the power behind her blade. "But predictable of you, Zackary. Now die on your feet, with your 'SOLDIER honor' intact."

A flash of red out of the corner of his eye, and Zack felt his heartbeat increase tenfold. If Genesis was here... He'd never last until Seph arrived.

He forced her back and sprinted for cover, darting between pillars, as they exploded behind him. She cut right through everything in sight. Zack was running out of options, so he turned around and blocked again. There was no opening for attacks, because she was just so damn fast. Gunshots went off and she staggered as holes appeared all over her side.

Zack was stunned, but didn't let it stop him from putting more distance between her and himself as he dove away again. He looked up as he moved to see Vincent staring down from one of the watch towers. With a wave that was just a _little_ too casual for the situation, he used his momentum to vault over a small wall and rushed for the entrance of the Fort where he could get some open ground.

Behind him, he could hear her recovering already; the bullets clinking as they hit the ground when her healing pushed them out.

Vincent seemed to see this from where he was and leapt down to the outside of the Fort. Zack dashed through the winding stone walls and managed to finally find his way out.

"Good to see you, man," he panted in greeting at Vincent before pulling his sword up in a position to defend as the main wall of the Fort was demolished in one swing of Masamune.

" _Holy shit_ ," he breathed. "If Seph could have done that this _whole_ time, then we could have gone home months ago!"

Vincent shot him a look that said that he probably should be thinking about nonsense when a _very_ angry Jenova was bearing down on them. Zack just shrugged and charged at her; he was determined to go on the offensive. She managed to get Masamune up in time to parry, but Zack always did better when he was the one doing the pushing. The weight of the Buster Sword allowed him to shake her up a little as he used it to throw one heavy hit after another. Vincent riddled her with bullets every time Zack was clear of the path, which slowed her down even more.

He almost worried about Vincent, but the cloaked man had no problems dodging her attacks when she decided to try getting rid of him from time to time. It turned out that he was one fast son of a bitch when he wanted to be, and could still shoot while escaping.

It became something of a game of dodging as they baited her back and forth between them using her swelling anger as the draw. Zack would taunt her and Vincent would shoot. Luckily for them, Jenova seemed to be having something of an off day or something. What normally shouldn't have worked, was actually keeping them alive.

The burst of fire materia was what gave Zack the hint he needed.

Seph had never been much of a materia user, but Genesis sure had.

"Using Genesis' body, aren't you?" Zack panted as he danced away from another slash. "That's how you're healing, but it's also why you're fighting so sloppy. What's wrong? Degrading?"

"Be _silent_ ," she hissed as she tried again to slice him in half. He parried, but it was starting to catch up with him.

Unlike her, he couldn't fight for days and never get tired. So the fatigue was starting to set in. She was pushing him further and further each time now, and Vincent was reloading.

Apparently, she was also becoming aware of that. Catching him off guard, she changed the direction of her slash at the last minute and ended up catching his shoulder slightly. He was able to push back some of the attack, but it cut deep into his left shoulder and left him staggering as blood gushed up.

"F-fuck," he stuttered as he blocked another attack, just barely. His left arm was failing him, and the Buster Sword was a two-handed blade.

"Zackary!"

"Oh, thank _Gaia,_ Seph. Took you long enough," he called even as he staggered under the weight of Jenova's current attack.

She held back anything further though, because the real Seph came barreling at her like a fucking freight train. And as much as Zack wanted to watch him send her all the way to hell, he really couldn't stand anymore. Blackness filled his vision as bloodloss became an issue, and he promptly passed the fuck out.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Swearing. Mostly Zack.
> 
> Okay! Week from hell over, so back to the regular updates! Thank you all for bearing with me through last week's very spotty updates. We'll be back on the usual track from here on out. 
> 
> Next Update: Nov 14th

Zack was vaguely surprised to be alive when he woke up. The sun was high in the sky and his shoulder felt like it had been gnawed on by a hungry behemoth.

"You're very lucky you didn't bleed to death," Seph admonished from somewhere Zack couldn't see.

"I'm Zack Fair. I'm _made_ of luck," he joked with a weak chuckle.

He rubbed slightly at the bandages covering his left shoulder and winced a little at the pain. Yeah, tangoing with Masamune was never fun. It wasn't the first time Zack had been introduced blade first to the sword, but it rarely resulted in a wound this big. Mostly because it was often through spars that got a little too rough, and Seph always pulled back as soon as he saw blood.

"Did we win?" he asked slowly.

"Yes. He fled not long after I joined the battle. He was not able to keep up."

"He?" Zack inquired for a moment before realizing that Seph probably was just referring to her by the gender of the person she was pretending to be, which was himself. "Scratch that. Just call her a she, since it's Jenova underneath."

Seph shot him a careful look before saying, "...I'm not sure about that. He seemed... to be a rather authentic copy. Are you certain it's not just insanity?"

"Trust me. She was using Genesis' body but your face. Unless you can take over people's bodies, I'm pretty damn certain that it was Jenova," he snorted.

"She was inhabiting Genesis' body? What does that mean for him?" Seph looked a little sad as he wondered aloud.

"He'll get the bruises from the fight. She's using him because he's stronger than her own body and she doesn't have yours to take over. But he's still in there. She gets weighed down by his temper from what I can see," he explained as he sat up. Groaning involuntarily at the soreness, he rolled his shoulders tentatively. "Where did Vincent go?"

"Vincent?" Seph demanded as he whirled around to face Zack properly. " _That_ was Vincent Valentine?"

"Uh...," Zack said stupidly. "Yeah."

Seph didn't respond so much in words as much as a straight up snarl. "And he ran like a coward. Before I could even ask a single question!"

Zack cringed and hopped up to grab Seph's arms to calm him down. "Woah, woah, woah. Chill. Vincent is just like that. Er, well, I wouldn't know exactly. I just got the impression while I was watching over Cloud. He's kind of prone to disappearing acts and then turning up right when you need him. Given when he showed up, I'd say he's trying to track her. Which could lead us straight to where they're hiding."

Seph didn't looked very placated as he sat down gracelessly on the cot Zack had just gotten off; it creaked ominously at the weight and his silver hair swished around. Zack took each one of his clenched fists and pried them open.

"Look, I know you wanted answers. I'm sorry that he bailed. You're just going to have to give him time, Seph. He's probably as shocked as you are that _you're_ alive. I wouldn't have put any bets on a child surviving in Hojo's care. Throw that all together with his loner nature, and he's going to have a hard time coming up with what to say in the first place," he soothed as best he could. It didn't help that in the back of his mind he was also more than a little furious that Vincent would leave like that, but he could hide it better.

Seph let out a breath that was shaky from anger. "I just want to know my history. I'm not holding out any foolish hope for a family."

Zack felt his heartbreak at the desperate yearning deep in Seph's voice. Maybe his friend didn't believe he'd ever have a family, but that didn't mean he didn't _want_ one.

"Hey; don't be like that. You never know what will happen. But just give it some more time," Zack said softly while rubbing a circle with his thumbs in each of Seph's palms. The tension drained out of his body very slowly, but Zack was relieved to see it.

Seph smirked slightly at him a few minutes later. "You're the injured one. Aren't I supposed to be taking care of _you_?"

"Nah, I'm indestructible," Zack said with a wide grin.

"You say that, but something tells me that your significant other will have my head if you return hurt. Especially if it was because of my sword; no matter who was wielding it," Seph teased as he got up and returned to whatever he was doing.

"Cloud's a bit overprotective, but I'd rather that then him try to cut himself off from interaction. He's kind of got a good reason for it anyway. Though, I'll admit, it's weird not being the protector in the relationship these days. Cloud's reached mythical levels of badass with that sword," he mused out loud as he fell back onto the cot and rolled onto his back.

"Just because of the sword, hmm?" Seph asked skeptically.

"Well, yeah," Zack said contemplatively. "Without it, he'd just be Cloud. Only a little bigger than I remember. I can't actually _see_ how strong he is by looking at him. I mean I can feel it—"

"Oh, yes. I'll bet you can," Seph laughed lowly.

Zack's cheeks flooded red at that and he glared petulantly at his friend. "Shut up. That's not what I meant."

"Of course," Seph agreed with a mischievous smirk. "My apologies."

"I don't think you're actually sorry. Jerk," he huffed.

Unfortunately for him, the cot decided to make him look like even more of a fool as the material holding him up ripped in one motion and dumped him on the ground. He flailed around in an attempt to hold onto air but it didn't save him from the embarrassing tumble.

He looked up to see that Seph hadn't turned around and thanked his lucky stars as he scrambled to his feet.

"How graceful, Zackary."

"Oh man, why can't you ever miss _anything_? And stop using my full name. It's too formal."

"I'll use your preferred name when you use mine," Seph said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well, Sephiroth is too formal too. We're friends. We should use nicknames. You call me 'Zack' and I call you 'Seph'. It's a pretty good trade," he insisted hopefully. Even after all these years, he still held out hope that one day Seph would just get it and call him by anything but his full name.

"Hmm... No I prefer 'Zackary'."

"Now you're just being an ass," he pouted.

Unable to resist, he began doing squats. The desire to burn off energy was getting overwhelming and he hadn't even been awake very long.

"So we held the Fort, huh?"

"Yes. But I do take issue with you ignoring direct orders," Seph growled without looking at him. Zack just snorted as he prepared for the incoming lecture. "The army is built on orders and obeying the chain of command. You completely disregarded it and almost lost your life in the process."

"Only because I was attacked by someone I wasn't counting on being there. No one could have expected Jenova to show up," Zack argued.

"I don't care," Seph said firmly. "I expect you to follow my orders when they're issued, Sergeant."

"Sorry, Seph. I was a Lt. General in the last life. Cloud may have my rank, but I've still got the mentality. You're not going to be able to break me of it. I know what I can handle," he explained while crossing his arms over his chest.

Seph actually turned to look at him then. He was wearing a surprised expression as he asked, "Lt. General? Cloud never mentioned..."

"He wouldn't have figured it was important or probably expected me to do it eventually," he speculated.

"I see... That explains quite a bit," Seph muttered.

"So, yeah. That's what's up. I'm still working the same way I did before. Just because I've got all these memories of being a kid again doesn't mean I'm not still the man I was before. I've got a long and storied SOLDIER career that's... technically even longer than yours! Oh man, _I_ should be the General now!" Zack snickered slightly at the mental image of him in the General's position.

"If you'd like the job, you're welcome to it," Seph said with amusement lacing his voice. "But I warn you, it's an unglamorous job."

"No way in hell, Seph. Being a Lt. General was already too much paperwork for me. I wouldn't be caught dead in your shoes. Just wait till the war is over. They'll be treating us like old, washed up, has-beens in under a month."

"Wonderful," Seph sighed. "Just wonderful."

* * *

It was just Zack's luck that telling Seph about his old experience got him a promotion straight to Lt. General. He ended up being Angeal's direct replacement rank-wise, which made him something like the Third in Command, though it wasn't an official title. It meant he'd be alongside Seph as they worked on the negotiations with Lord Godo.

The official cessation of hostilities began less than a week after they captured the Fort, but that was no surprise. The Wutai forces were smart enough to know when they had lost. No one was willing to risk the lives of all the citizens in the Capital to an invasion.

Zack wasn't exactly thrilled at having to sit through President Shinra's pompous negotiating as him and Seph acted like glorified bodyguards. How stupid that a man who had never set foot in the combat zone take care of ending the war. What did he know? He hadn't lived the horror of watching everything burn or being the one to light the fire.

The only plus to this was currently laying in bed with him. Zack was toying with one of Cloud's longer spikes lovingly as he stared at his boyfriend.

Cloud had been flown in immediately to be a part of the negotiations as well. It was mostly a show of brute force. They had the first of several meetings in barely two hours but they were having a hard time crawling out of bed. For Zack, he was just thankful to have an actual bed instead of a cot or the ground. They were being accommodated in the Captial for the next two weeks or until the negotiations were finished.

This meant he and Cloud could spend what little free time they had either in the bed that was almost too small to even be called 'cozy' or in the hot springs that were allocated to the three 'Generals'. However, it was clear that Cloud was much more interested in monopolizing Zack's time and avoiding Seph at all costs. Zack couldn't really complain; them avoiding each other was better than outright violence.

From what he gathered, Seph liked Cloud just fine, but the reverse was not true at all. Cloud seemed to be just tolerating Seph's presence for the most part.

"We need to get ready," Cloud said with a smirk and a languid stretch.

Zack felt his blood heat up again, even after all the attention he'd received for the past few hours, at the sight of the sheet sliding down Cloud's naked chest. "Keep looking like that and we'll miss the meeting."

"I wouldn't complain," Cloud purred as he dragged Zack against him. "This is much more interesting."

He had to agree as Cloud went back to sucking at the skin of his neck. A moan came out against his will at the soft bites placed to his already reddened collarbones.

"Oh come on, Cloud. Don't leave me walking in there hard."

"That'd be amusing," his lover growled lustily against his throat. "But that would mean showing him how gorgeous you are when aroused, and that won't be happening."

"You're so jealous," he giggled even as Cloud bit him again. "I've got eyes only for you, Cloud."

"Mmm, I know. But he's got feelings for you whether you reciprocate or not."

"You're being paranoid," Zack urged though he knew it was a good possibility that Cloud was right. It wouldn't matter though; Seph wouldn't be forward about it if Zack was already in a relationship.

"I see the way he looks at you," Cloud murmured between kisses along Zack's shoulder causing goosebumps to spread over his flesh.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure he looks at you the same way," he growled a little unwillingly. Seems like Cloud wasn't the only jealous one here.

"Not with a ten foot pole," Cloud snorted. "Why are you so argumentative about it? You still hold a grudge against Reno."

"You _actually_ fucked Reno. Worst I've ever done with Seph was cast a quick glance in the shower room to see if he lived up to the legends!"

Cloud looked up with a dark frown. "And did he?"

Zack shivered under the weight of Cloud's stare. "Not really. I mean, yeah, he's big, but not like his fan club made it out to be. Wonder what _your_ fan clubs say," he teased with a weak smirk.

"I don't have a fan club," Cloud said while rolling his eyes. "I just want to keep you all for myself."

"Aw, well that throws a wrench in my plans to get a few girlfriends on the side," he purred with a little bite to Cloud's ear.

"You better be talking about Aeris," came the returning growl.

"Or maybe," he whispered sweetly. "I was just joking altogether."

Half a second later, he found himself flat on his back with his wrists pinned above his head. Cloud moved between his legs again and his face was dark with lust.

"We don't have time," he said breathlessly even as he felt his body flush with arousal.

"I'll make time."

And Zack really couldn't care less if they ended up late for those negotiations.

* * *

Sephiroth wasn't a happy man many months later. Zackary had been more than correct in his prediction that they'd be glorified figureheads after the war.

It was more than half way through 0000, and the biggest things Sephiroth had engaged in was a particularly vicious spar with Cloud and wrapping up the negotiations with Wutai.

Once again, they were left with no leads on where Genesis, Angeal, and Hojo were, but he could tell that Cloud was waiting for something to happen lately. What exactly that was, he wasn't certain, but it couldn't get here fast enough for his tastes.

He, Zackary, and Cloud were left doing exactly what Zackary had been dreading: paperwork. Or rather, _he_ was left doing paperwork while he tried to track them down to get them to finish theirs. Zackary got extremely creative in avoiding it and Cloud just outright ripped certain forms up. Sephiroth's inner stickler for rules made it impossible for him to do the same.

Even now, he was hunched over a stack of rather dull forms dealing with the allocation of funds to the various SOLDIER bases. Why couldn't these be addressed to Lazard?

The creak of his door opening was a welcome reprieve even though he was not so excited to see who walked through it.

Reno walked in, dropped down into the chair across from him, and put his feet up on the desk. A half-finished cigarette hung out of his mouth and the smoke filled the small office in moments.

"Yo," he said in greeting.

"Get to the point. I'm sure you have one," Sephiroth bit out sternly.

"Touchy, touchy," the redhead said through a cocky grin that was somehow darker than usual. "Alright, General. We've got a problem."

"What kind of problem?"

"A President kind of problem. Ya ever heard of somethin' called Deepground?"

Sephiroth looked around the office suspiciously. Certainly there must be bugs planted in here and Reno was speaking rather freely...

"Don'tcha worry yer pretty head. I'm the guy who monitors those. An' I've got them turned off right now. Answer the question," Reno drawled lazily despite the tension in his shoulders.

"I've never heard of it," he answered honestly.

"Well, Pres Shinra's files make it sound like a subset of SOLDIER, but I ain't ever heard a damn thing bout it. Few months ago, we were set to bring in this lil'girl with a rather interestin' set of abilities. Our Turks got killed and she went missing. I thought someone else must've snatched her up for themselves; anti-Shinra or somethin'. But then I go snoopin' on Rufus' behalf and what do I find? Confirmation that the girl arrived and was place in Deepground. And yer never gonna believe who it lists as head of the program."

"Who?" he asked insistently as he leaned in.

Reno grinned sharply, almost a snarl, exposing too many teeth as he purred, "Professor Hojo. The good doctor seems ta have found a new job, but he ain't gone from Shinra yet."

Sephiroth went stock still at the idea of Hojo still being in league with President Shinra. Could the man be supporting him in his experiments even now? To what end?

"And you're certain that this is not outdated information?"

"Dated as of barely two months ago. It's recent. Had the man's signature on it. Trust me; he's still around," Reno said around his cigarette. "Question is: where? And why? Ya really don't know anything?"

"Nothing," Sephiroth admitted. "But we need to investigate. If there is another subset of SOLDIER... We could all be facing something we're not prepared to fight."

"Yeah, and we've got one other big problem too."

"What's that?"

Reno sneered angrily. "Lazard has been cozying up to the old man. Tryin' ta over take Rufus' spot."

"Lazard?" Sephiroth asked carefully before realizing just how much the man resembled the Shinras. "I see... And you fear this could come to pass?"

"I don't know. Rufus is legitimate and Lazard is just a bastard, but he knows how to speak the old man's language. Rufus has been a little... ah, outspoken. Pres Shinra doesn't like it. But here's the rub. We lose the Presidency through Rufus and we can all kiss our asses goodbye. We need the power or we're screwed."

"What do you suggest?" Sephiroth inquired gravely.

Reno snorted humorlessly before saying, "Don't be stupid. Ya know what I suggest. We kill the President before he gets a chance to sign our death warrants."


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Cliffhanger, BUT don't worry too much.
> 
> This is short again, but that's because it's almost an interlude. Still, it's an important piece that I didn't want to leave out. If you watch Walking Dead and saw last Sunday's episode, the song they play for Hershel (which is called Oats in the Water) is the song this chapter was written to. Especially the end of the chapter.
> 
> Next Update: Nov 16th

Cloud didn't need to be a fortune-teller to know something was coming. It may not be coming fast, but he could still see the signs. They weren't very subtle.

He was sitting in a bar in Sector 8 with Zack. It was supposed to be a way to 'catch up' with all their 'friends', which mostly meant that Zack was doing all the talking. The few SOLDIERs remaining that they had shared barracks with in the beginning were all crowded around the small table and talking animatedly. Zack was soaking up all the attention like a sponge, and, though Cloud was a little jealous, he was happy to see him in such a good mood.

Regaining his memories had sobered Zack's personality a lot. It wasn't always so apparent, but no one knew him better than Cloud did. No one else could see the somber looks that Zack cast towards him when he thought Cloud wasn't looking, or the way that he tried to put his body between Aeris and every possible threat when they were together. The benefits of having him whole in mind and soul were nice, but they certainly didn't come without drawbacks.

Cloud was leaning up against the wood of the wall. It was an unconscious move to always have his back guarded even when not in combat. His eyes were roaming the many SOLDIERs in the small bar and narrowing every time he passed over another.

They were all wearing black. Every single SOLDIER was in black. They had all been wearing nothing but black, even in civilian clothes, for the last few weeks. Cloud hadn't seen a SOLDIER over second class in anything else since it started.

The frown on his face deepened as he vainly tried to search out for active Jenova cells in the area. Still, he found nothing. Even with the signs of their presence glaring right back at him, he couldn't pinpoint anything substantial that would give him some leads.

"Come on, Strife. Lighten up," one of the SOLDIERs crowed as he slapped Cloud on the shoulder. All he got was a warning glare for his efforts. Luckily for Cloud, his glares were still intimidating enough to be taken seriously.

"Leave Cloud be," Zack chuckled. "He's been dodging paperwork all week. It's a tiring job."

"Sure it is, _war hero_. Fight in a few battles and suddenly you're both on the top of the ladder. Next thing you know, we'll be having chicks come ask for your autographs. Worse than that, you won't even be interested in them!"

Zack laughed at responded with something that Cloud decided to tune out. He was too busy planning on how to handle the situation with President Shinra. Sephiroth and Reno had approached him in such a way that made it sound like they had no choice but to move soon. But how do you assassinate someone under constant guard without letting anyone know you're the ones behind it? There was no AVALANCHE to blame this time. The mission kept getting stalled by lucky breaks on the President's part, and the months were slipping past with no way to control them. In some ways, Cloud almost had to respect Rufus for enduring a lifetime of these political games. He'd take the battlefield any day.

It wasn't like they could just waltz in and drown him in his bathtub or choke him in his sleep. Not all of the Turks were as loyal to Rufus as Tseng and Reno were. If one of them thought they could find higher pay elsewhere, they'd go public with the story in a heartbeat. That's the kind of people they were.

On top of that, Reno couldn't give any indication on if Scarlet and Heidegger would need to be taken out as well. Surely, they would have to remove Lazard from the situation if he really was trying to take over the company; much to Zack's displeasure.

While all that goes on, Cloud also has to worry about Jenova and her plans. Sephiroth was under the impression that nothing had happened recently to give them a heads up on her movements, but that was wrong.

A week earlier Vincent had called him to warn him that he'd tracked her to the Temple of the Ancients. Cloud didn't even bother going to check; she would have been long gone by the time he arrived. Besides, he'd already been there a long time ago and Meteor was locked up tightly in his apartment; she wouldn't be using _that_ again.

But it all points to her being on the move, and now all Cloud can do is wait. It's the worst feeling as he knows that every second he is forced to wait, the chances of her causing massive damage before he can stop her increases.

Excusing himself from the small band of SOLDIERs, Cloud takes a walk through the Sector in search of something he knows he won't find. Zack doesn't even bother to ask him to stay; he's more than used to Cloud's quirks by now.

* * *

It was late November now and the Plate was alive with people shopping for the holiday season. It was hard to believe that a full year had passed with no changes in their daily lives. Cloud still spent his days brooding and searching for Jenova, Zack took to training the new recruits as he had in his last life, and Sephiroth spent what felt like every waking moment behind a desk doing paperwork.

Aeris was using the time to live out her life in peace in the slums. She had come to the conclusion a long time ago that she couldn't change history any faster than Cloud could on his own, and decided to try and enjoy the time on Gaia that she hadn't had for so long. Which mostly meant she spent her time cultivating her flowers and caring for the poor; much like she had before Cloud had ever met her.

Yuffie said she spent most of her time traveling, but Cloud would put money on it that she was out doing exactly what Cloud wished he could be when he had business in Midgar. Finding Jenova and Hojo had taken on a life of its own for her, and he couldn't really dissuade her from looking. Who was he to lecture her when he was going out month after month on the same search?

He could still recall the negotiations with Wutai.

> _"You invade my country, you slaughter my people, and murder my wife and daughter... How do monsters like you call yourselves men?"_

Cloud had attempted to tell Godo that they hadn't killed Yuffie, but the crushed man would hear none of it. He wouldn't likely believe she was alive till Yuffie returned home, and that could be a long time coming.

He was walking through Sector 7, crossing a road, when a car came careening out of an alleyway and turned onto the street. Unfortunately, Cloud ended up being between the crazed driver and whatever his destination was, as he slammed into him at full speed.

The wind was knocked out of his lungs and his hands gripped the hood of the car, bending the metal under his strength. The driver, who hadn't even been looking at the road initially, turned his head around and looked at Cloud like _he_ was the one who had been hit. Screeching brakes were the only things that saved them from going head long into a brick wall with Cloud still acting as a hood ornament.

The driver, sheet white, hopped out of the car the second it stopped moving and started screaming, "Oh Holy! I'm so sorry. A-are you—Someone call an ambulance!"

Cloud sighed and peeled himself off the hood carefully. The metal was caved in from the impact, and he was fairly certain that the car took the majority of the beating between the two of them.

"I'm fine," he said firmly, cutting off the man's terrified yells before he could summon a mob. "Are you okay?"

The driver looked at him, turned away as if to yell out for more help, and then did a double take as he noticed that Cloud was unharmed. "Oh-You're not... Never mind, we need to get to the hospital!"

"I'm fine," Cloud repeated, a little angry now. What wasn't this guy getting?

"No, not for you. I mean—I'm very, _very_ sorry for hitting you, sir, but my you see my wife is in labor!"

A little confused, he looked back to the car and saw that, indeed, there was a woman in the backseat taking some rather deep breaths as she looked like she was trying not to have the child right there in the street. Cloud frowned; he must have been in one hell of a deep trance not to notice the smell of blood and childbirth.

Suddenly a look of horror crossed over the woman's sweat-drenched face and she opened her mouth so wide that Cloud instinctively took a step back and braced for the noise.

"ABEL," the woman shrieked.

The husband all but collapsed at the sound before rushing to his wife's side.

"Honey, Chloe, sweetheart, baby," he chanted like an idiot. "It's going to be okay. I'm sure someone has called an ambulance." Cloud looked around at the bystanders around them and did note that many of them had their PHSs out.

"No, no, _no!_ He's coming _NOW!_ "

And in less than five minutes, Cloud was now caught up in a whirlwind of he had never even _thought_ to prepare for.

When the mother said 'now' she really meant it, or so Cloud realized when he saw the father outright faint after a peek under his wife's dress.

"Hey, SOLDIER!" a passerby called and Cloud turned to him immediately. "You have a cure materia on you?"

"Yes," he said as he watched the man take off his jacket and start rolling his sleeves up.

"Good, cause this kid isn't gonna wait for no doctor. Get over here and move dad."

Following instructions, he pulled the father away from the hyperventilating mother as the man walked right up to the car and leaned in. He could hear him murmuring soothing words and instructions to the terrified woman. After a moment, he too looked under the dress.

"Fuck," the man muttered much to the woman's horror.

"What? _What?_ "

"Nothin' to worry bout ma'am. Just that the baby is breech. SOLDIER, get something soft to lay her on; we're gonna need to get her out of this car."

Cloud looked around in frustration for something 'soft', but found nothing. "We don't have anything," he growled out of stress.

"Here!" a woman bystander said as she pulled off her coat. The others around her began doing the same and they managed to put together a small area that was covered in the thick winter clothing.

"Get her on that," the man instructed and moved aside so Cloud could lift the woman out of the car very carefully and place her down on the small pallet.

"What next?" he asked as he looked around at the growing crowd.

"Shoe laces, scissors, anything warm, and some water to wash our hands," the man rattled off as he went to work on calming the woman down enough to get her through the birth.

Again the people of Midgar offered up their own items to help. They handed them to Cloud along with extras like pain relievers and more clothing. He dumped the arm full down on the spread out coats. The man grabbed the small bottle of hand sanitizer they had been given and scrubbed his hands with it before handing it to Cloud. He cleaned his hands too and turned to the mother.

The poor woman was in no good state as she looked like she was in unbearable pain. The man had a serious look on his face as he pulled up the hem of the dress. Cloud actually had to remind himself that he'd seen worse at the sight of the baby on its way into the world, but in that moment it was hard to compare.

"Now we can't help the little guy inta the world," the man said to Cloud. "Breech means that we can't even touch or else we risk him taking his first breath before he's even out of the fluid. Let'er hold your hand and try not to cry when she squeezes."

Cloud rolled his eyes but was grateful to take a spot by the woman's side and not have to watch the baby being born. There were some things he'd rather not know.

And she _did_ squeeze; hard enough to make him think the father was better off unconscious. That, and she was using some rather choice words for him as the man instructed her to push.

The man called over a few women from the crowd and had them hold up coats around them to keep the area warm and private.

"Come on, little guy," he muttered low enough that Cloud had to strain to hear him even with all his enhanced hearing. "You can do it."

A moment later, the man lunged forward and appeared to catch something in his hands as the mother's face became serene compared to what it just had been. Cloud watched as he lifted the little human up and wrapped it up in a blanket. His face was focused but happy as he rubbed its back.

A little cry from the newborn, weaker than a kitten's mewl, came before it began crying in earnest. A look of triumph spread across the faces of every person in the vicinity and Cloud couldn't blame them. Even he was sporting a slightly silly grin as the small bundle was handed off to the new mother.

"Congratulations. Here's your baby boy," the man whispered as the mother took hold of her baby for the first time. She looked like she was about to break down completely again, but this time it was from happiness. Somewhere behind them, a few men were helping to get the father back into the waking world to meet his son.

The man flitted around them for the next few minutes and took care of delivering the placenta and cutting the cord. Cloud pulled out his cure materia and healed up both mother and child. She smiled up at him and the stranger who had selflessly helped deliver her baby.

"You're angels," she whispered softly from exhaustion. "Just angels."

Cloud smiled a little in return, unable to resist, and sat back to watch the father, who had just woken up, hold his son. The smile on his face rivaled every natural wonder on Gaia. He looked up at Cloud and shook his head with a tearing up eyes; he was clearly trying to find the right words for what he wanted to say.

"We, uh," he started breathlessly as he looked between Cloud and the other man. "Never picked out a name. We always figured we'd name him after the doctor who delivered him. I want... I'd really like to name him after you two."

Cloud winced slightly even as he smiled and said, "Don't name him after me. He'll never forgive you."

"What's your name?" the exhausted woman asked.

"Cloud, Cloud Strife," he said as though that explained everything and, really, it _did_. Even the new parents looked a little grateful that Cloud had insisted that they name the boy something else.

"And you?" she asked as she looked towards the man who had done most of the work.

"Denzel Beckett, ma'am."

Cloud felt like the world had just been turned upside down as the parents smiled wide and looked down at their baby.

"Denzel, then," the father whispered at the infant.

"You alright, SOLDIER?" the older Denzel asked. "Look like you've seen a ghost."

Cloud shook his head and swallowed down the rising emotion to force another carefree smile to his face. No reason to ruin their moment with his dark future. Denzel's life was just starting, and there was no telling what would happen. And Reno could go straight to hell and stay there for dropping Sector 7.

"I'm fine," he said while clearing his throat. "Denzel is a good name. Congratulations on your baby."

They thanked him again and he slowly drifted away from the crowd as the ambulances arrived to take them away.

* * *

He walked back to the bar in Sector 8 in a daze and sat back down next to Zack. Apparently, however, he looked more than worse for wear as his boyfriend immediately launched into 20 different questions at once about where he had been.

"Cloud? Cloud?" Zack demanded when he didn't answer any of them. He was just staring off into space; at the SOLDIERs in black again.

"I'm fine, Zack," he muttered after awhile. "I'm just... Reliving a failure."

"What happened?" Zack asked in a pleading whisper.

The SOLDIERs with them were all staring at them in confusion and shock, but Cloud couldn't focus on them. Denzel had died young, and it was Cloud's fault; it was always Cloud's fault when people died young. The Geostigma, Jenova's legacy in the Lifestream, only existed because Cloud had handed over the Black Materia to her. And Denzel's parents... They died when Shinra brought down the Plate to stop AVALANCHE. To stop them when Cloud was just doing it for _money_. So many lives lost... All because of him.

And he had looked up to Cloud like a hero.

Cloud had cost him his whole life, and still he considered him a hero.

He dropped his head to his hand and threaded his fingers through his hair. Even after all this time, the guilt was still crippling.

Zack wanted him to forgive Sephiroth if he could, but Cloud couldn't even forgive _himself_. How was he going to forgive Sephiroth when he was the only one Cloud could dump the rest of his problems on? If he forgave him, then it would _all_ be Cloud's fault.

Zack opened his mouth again to ask another question but closed it quickly. Cloud couldn't hear anything anymore as he tuned out from reality to get himself under control, but he could still see. Zack took out his PHS and answered it. It didn't take long for a look of sheer terror and disbelief to spread across his face. His head whipped around and fixed on the television that everyone seemed to be ignoring in favor of staring at Cloud.

Cloud followed Zack's gaze and everything went from bad to worse. Sound all snapped back into place all at once from the muddled mess it had been.

The newscaster on the screen was almost shouting as they broadcasted, "There's a huge fire in a rundown church in the Sector 5 slums! Someone may be trapped inside. Story developing; stay tuned."


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Possible Plotholes until I clean it up. Some Canon Divergence here and later chapters.
> 
> Note: DoC had NOT happened at the beginning of AHB. Hojo used a different tactic to take over; they were there, but not doing anything. So Deepground is news for Cloud too. 
> 
> Next Update: Nov 18th

Getting down to the slums was less a process than a blur this time. When they boarded the train and when they disembarked, Cloud couldn't tell you. All he knew was that he needed to get to Aeris _now_... And that if she really was trapped inside that there was no hope of them arriving in time.

His mind went back to the generous citizens only an hour ago who helped bring Denzel into the world and he prayed that someone would be so kind as to help Aeris now. Losing her again wasn't something he could bear. Or Zack could bear for that matter; his boyfriend looked thoroughly terrified and it was only getting worse as they ran through the thick smoke that filled the slums.

Big fires were rare below plate; the oxygen levels were lower and made them far and few between. A fire the size of what would be required to make this much smoke would have had to be deliberate. The church was old wood, yes, but it was also pretty damp wood. It why the smoke was white for the most part; rather than the black it would be if the church was dry wood. Growing the flowers there produced a lot of moisture in the air and it seeped into the wood.

People were calm for the most part, but it had been long enough since the broadcast that it was likely they had just missed the mayhem. The lack of tears inspired Cloud to hope that maybe, just maybe, they got Aeris out.

Somehow, as they cut through the last plume of smoke between them and the church, he never even thought to assume that maybe the person trapped _wasn't_ Aeris. He probably should have, as there she was, sitting on top of a broken pillar that was just out of the air current that pulled the smoke away with her chin resting on her knees and hugging her legs. She looked completely unharmed from what he could see of her, but it was only her left side. Cloud could smell a little blood, but couldn't see any big wounds on her either.

"Aeris!" Zack shouted in relief as he rushed forward to get to her. Cloud moved forward at a more subdued pace from the waves of confusion and trepidation that were washing over him.

He looked at the church and felt his heart give a pained twinge as it continued to burn and collapse. The place that had meant so much to all of them was now gone. All the flowers...

"What happened?" Zack asked softly.

Aeris didn't move from her place staring at the burning church. Her eyes were dry, but tear tracks were cut through the soot staining her cheeks. The edges of her beautiful brown hair were singed enough that Cloud knew she had to have been inside when the fire started.

"They're coming," she whispered.

"They?" Cloud demanded seriously.

"He wanted to kill me," she said with a sigh and a melancholy smile. "I didn't want to die yet."

Zack moved around to look her in the eye and gasped, "What the _fuck_?"

Cloud leapt around to see what he was talking about and saw a _massive_ bruise along the side of her face; like someone had hit her with all their might and then it was cured over to get rid of the swelling. The blood he smelled before could be found dried to her skin from the right corner of her mouth where it trickled out.

" _Who did this_?" he snarled as he instinctively reached out to touch. In the last second he remembered to be gentle and carefully brushed his fingers along the painful looking bruise. Aeris closed her eyes and leaned into the touch but didn't respond. He traced it lower and lower until he could see it melding with her throat from behind her hair. Slowly, he took hold of her chin and pulled her head up a little to reveal hand prints around her neck.

"He," she started in barely a whisper. "I mean—She did this. She found me, but it's more than that. We need... to talk. But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

Immediately, he hoisted her into his arms, intent on carrying her out of that hellhole. He wasn't expecting her to flail around and hit him on the shoulder though.

"No," Aeris insisted stubbornly. "I'm not a princess who needs a hero, Cloud. This time I saved myself, so let me _walk_ out of here."

"Saved yourself?" Zack inquired with a glance at the church.

Aeris looked sad again as he put her down and she looked to the church as she held up her hand. Her sleeve fell back and revealed a bangle of materia.

"She was going to kill me," she repeated. "So I decided to kill her first."

Cloud and Zack both stared almost uncomprehendingly at the materia for a moment. She had burned her own church down? Cloud wouldn't complain; Aeris was better than an old building any day. But for her to be so desperate to live...

Her hands clenched to fists and she stared wistfully at her beloved church for what was probably the last time.

"She ran," she said a moment later, answering the questions they hadn't asked yet. "But some of the clones got left inside. Was this..." She paused and collected herself. "This is what it was like for you to watch Nibelheim burning, isn't it, Cloud? Oh, who am I kidding. You lost actual people that day... All I'm losing is flowers."

Cloud reached out a hand and brushed her bangs away from her eyes. "No, Aeris. This is exactly what I felt watching it burn. I'm so sorry I wasn't—"

She smiled again, but it had an edge to it, and shook her head. "Don't apologize. You won't always be there to protect me, Cloud. This time I got to stare him— _her_ —in the eye and walk out alive. I'm not going anywhere this time. If she wants to kill me, then she'll have a fight on her hands."

* * *

They made their way back to Shinra; they had nowhere _else_ to go. Aeris was quiet for most of the journey, but Cloud could see her staring at the bangle around her wrist. It reminded him of the first time she killed in AVALANCHE.

Knowing her, it was hard to believe that Aeris _could_ kill a person, but she wasn't actually the wallflower she appeared to be. No, she was vivacious and determined in their pursuits as AVALANCHE. Maybe it was because she spent her whole life under Turk surveillance, only for them to kill an entire Sector of people like it was nothing and then hand her over to the worst man on Gaia, but she came out of the lab ready to fight.

Her weapon wasn't all that good for fighting SOLDIERs, but she made it work. Materia was Aeris' strong suit, and she managed to use it to take down her enemies while preserving distance between them. So she only ever had to use her staff to respond when an enemy got too close.

Still, it had worried Cloud immensely back then. He could remember demanding that she let him teach her a thing a or two about self-defense or sword fighting. She always agreed to his impromptu lessons, but he knew that was because she loved spending time with him.

They had practiced with an old rapier they found on their travels, and she had picked up the skill rather well. It was never enough to actually use in combat, but he felt better knowing that if she ever _had_ to use a sword that she could do it. Everyone else felt the same as him too. It was like Aeris, even then, was a treasure in need of guarding. Yuffie taught her about silent movement, Tifa worked with her on hand-to-hand, and even Vincent showed her how to use a gun properly. Though, Vincent also took _Cloud_ aside and taught him how to shoot after he realized that Cloud's wide skill set did _not_ include how to hit a target with a bullet.

All of that, and now Aeris was saving herself from Jenova. When Cloud should have been there... but she was right. He couldn't always be there to make sure that she was safe. Knowing that she could protect herself was a load of his mind that he hadn't even known was there.

But cold blooded killing wasn't in Aeris' nature, even without her Ancient heritage. The clones being left inside the burning building seemed to be causing her some heartache, but apparently not enough for her to risk her life trying to save them. That was good, at least, because Cloud was of the opinion that everyone with Jenova now was a lost cause.

Cloud got the feeling that Aeris wanted to talk about something very important when they arrived home, but she just couldn't seem to find the words. Instead, they wound up lying in bed with Zack and Cloud holding her between them. Her head was on Cloud's chest and he just watched her as she stared off into space. Zack was rubbing small circles on her back, but it didn't seem to be helping.

After a long while, Zack drifted off to sleep and Aeris began to look like she was quickly going to follow. But before she could completely fall asleep, she looked up at Cloud and pressed her bruised cheek flat against his heart.

"Promise me you'll be safe, Cloud," she whispered sleepily. "She still wants you for herself."

His eyes left hers out of instinct, though he didn't _think_ he was lying when he replied, "I promise."

Aeris noticed his slight evasion and smiled sadly. "Don't leave us please. We need you here, Cloud. We've always needed you. And we always will."

"I'm not going anywhere," Cloud insisted a little more firmly this time as he looked her solidly in the eyes. She didn't look any more comforted this time.

They fell into silence again and Cloud thought back to Denzel being born.

Apparently, his thoughts showed on his face as she asked, "What'cha thinking about?"

"Denzel," he said softly with no emotion in his voice.

"What about him?"

"I—He was born today. I was there by accident."

Aeris pressed a hand to his chest alongside her cheek and smirked. "Did it make you feel like a father?"

Cloud smirked in his own right in an effort not to laugh and wake Zack. "No chance. I wasn't cut out for that," he snorted. But then he sobered a little when a thought occurred to him. "Did... you ever want them for us? Did you ever hope that we'd have children after we got married?"

Aeris shook her head as best she could as she responded, "No, not really. We were too free-spirited for children. I lived my whole life under a microscope... I wanted to see the world. I thought maybe _many_ years later we'd settle down, but children never really seemed like they were part of the plan. You didn't strike me as a guy who'd want them. When I was young, I thought Zack and I would do the 'settling down' thing... Raise a bunch of kids out in the country... But then he went missing and I realized I wanted something different all along anyway. Don't get me wrong, I love children, but, no, I didn't think they were for us."

Cloud was quiet as he thought that over. His lack of desire to be a father had been one of the biggest disappointments for Tifa. She had loved children and wanted as many as possible. Marlene and Denzel ended up taking the place of the children she had wanted from Cloud but that he couldn't, wouldn't, give her.

"They're here, Cloud," Aeris said gravely all of a sudden. "In Midgar. That's why you can't find them. They're already _here_. We need to get out of the city and somewhere safe, because when they move... Nothing in Midgar will be left standing."

He looked down at her in shock. "Jenova is in Midgar? That's impossible. I'd have felt her by now."

Aeris looked almost guilty for a moment. "There were things... That I never told you in the last life. I wasn't really allowed, so I just had to hope that you figured it out before it became a problem. But then... it never happened. Hojo found a new way to take over, but he had been planning to rule the world for many years before that. I didn't know until I was in the Lifestream; until I could feel all life on Gaia... There are people trapped below Midgar and they're his experiments. I don't know what he's doing to them, but it's nothing good. They were a forgotten people and knowledge of them died with President Shinra, even _I_ forgot about them. It wasn't until I saw the symbol on the clone's clothing that I knew."

"So what you're saying is that Hojo has people down there that he's torturing and we're just expected to leave them there?" Cloud asked a little harsher than he intended.

"They're already lost, Cloud. They've been down there for years. Now Hojo will be mixing in more of Jenova... We need to be ready, but it won't be here in Midgar that we've got the best chance of withstanding."

"They're called Deepground, aren't they?" he asked with a sigh, mind going back to what Reno and Sephiroth had told him.

Aeris blinked in shock as she answered, "Uh, yes. How did you know?"

"Reno went snooping. How many are there?"

"We're going to need a lot of help..."

Cloud shook with humorless and silent laughter. "Fantastic." He thought about it and realized that, yes, Midgar would be a great place to hide a secret army. The city had a huge section below it that was never really accessed before and people had speculated on what was there for years. Many just thought it was a bunker for the President, but, unless Rufus had an actual death wish in the past, that wasn't true. It made sense. Hojo wins big praise with Sephiroth's creation, gets promoted, gets to lead the creation of President Shinra's secret force for if SOLDIER failed.

Sometimes the depth of Shinra's secrets made him wonder if President Shinra wasn't actually much smarter than he acted to people's faces.

"What about the people of Midgar," he found himself asking as he rubbed a hand over his eyes.

"We'll have to evacuate, but I'm not sure how. Right now, all of us and Midgar itself will be safer if we leave. That way, if they choose to come after us, they don't tear through the city in an effort to capture us."

"And where do we go?"

Aeris smiled a little. "We need to get AVALANCHE together."

"No. I'm not involving Tifa or anyone else who is just trying to live in peace right now," he said with a frown.

"I mean the _old_ AVALANCHE. They're out there, and maybe they could help us fight. We want the same things right?"

"It's a stretch," Cloud sighed. "But alright. We'll try. What about Reeve and everyone else here?"

"We'll just have to gather our forces faster than they can gather theirs," Aeris murmured thought it was obvious she didn't like the idea much either.

"From what I remember about the old AVALANCHE, they weren't very nice people," he grumbled. "But I don't know how much of that is Shinra propaganda and how much is truth."

"I don't know either," Aeris admitted. "I met them once... But I was young and I can't remember everything. What I do remember is all fuzzy now from having been on both sides of the fence. If need be, we'll convince them to stop using methods that hurt innocent people."

"And we can use this as an alibi to get rid of President Shinra," Cloud said aloud as he weighed the pros and cons of it. If nothing else, Aeris was right. Midgar would be safer without them around. If Jenova was already gunning for Aeris, then it couldn't be long before they were ready to make a move. Waiting so long could only mean that they were massing an army.

Cloud didn't believe in luck enough to assume they were just resting on their laurels.

"Alright. I'll work it out with Sephiroth tomorrow. But tonight, you need sleep," he whispered softly to her as he began petting her hair. She dropped her cheek back to his chest and snuggled closer.

"You're right. We'll talk in the morning, Cloud. Sleep well," she said sweetly between nuzzles to his skin.

Cloud allowed himself to smile down at her fondly and repeated, "Sleep well, Aeris."

* * *

"I don't like this," Rufus growled the second Cloud had finished speaking. More like a few seconds _before_ Cloud had finished, but that didn't matter.

"I don't care what you like or don't like, Rufus," Cloud sneered. "This is how it is."

"Let's just kill the old man then. If need be, then I'll kill Lazard too," the other blond said harshly in frustration. "I didn't take you for the type to start running before the fight even begins, Cloud."

"We're sitting on a time bomb in this city. If Hojo is going to use Deepground against us, then we need to be far away from here."

"Junon then!" Rufus snapped. "At least I have control in Junon. You're rushing me and I'm going to be at risk of losing the gains I've made lately. He's implied that he's about to name a new Vice President. If I can secure that, then we'll be one step from controlling Shinra. If we leap too fast, and it goes to Lazard, then there is nothing I can do without causing a massive upheaval."

Cloud growled at the air from how stubborn Rufus could be. He knew what he needed to do, but actually _doing_ it was another matter entirely.

Sephiroth sighed from where he was leaning against the wall to their left and said, "When will he be naming the new Vice President? If all of these things about Deepground are true... We don't have the time to wait."

Rufus folded his hands on his desk in a sign of impatience. Cloud could see his hand twitching in an effort not to go to his shotgun. "I don't _know_. Soon hopefully; but if you think my father specializing in being direct with his motives, then you are _sorely_ mistaken."

"What makes you think Lazard is such a bad guy?" Zack asked with more than a touch of annoyance in his voice. He didn't like the talk of killing the Director at all.

Rufus smiled cruelly as he answered, "He's a whore's son who's been offered the promise of great power and control. Can you think of anything more dangerous than a fool with power? At least _I_ was conditioned for it. There's a fine line when controlling the world, and someone who wasn't all but raised for it will find themselves losing their minds with all that power."

Cloud had to agree. Lazard getting the Presidency was a very dangerous prospect, even if his intentions were good, which Cloud wasn't quite sure of. Power did go to one's head, and Rufus was better equipped to handle it than anyone else. Plus, Rufus could be controlled if the trade was fair.

Cloud looked to Reeve who was the only one sitting down besides Rufus. The man had been mostly silent, but still had a good-natured smile on his face despite the tense air. "How is the progress going, Reeve?" he asked quietly.

Reeve's smile widened even further and he animatedly responded, "Wonderful! Miss Kisaragi has been an immense help. With both of us contributing everything we know, I've been able to create a working prototype. Look!"

He pulled out a small jar of glowing blue liquid, the primordial mako, and held it up.

"With this, I could power all of Shinra tower for a week. And it took just a fraction of the time to harvest. As you can imagine, however, it's also something I'd be very worried about if it fell into the wrong hands. The increased power... Well I've not done any tests about what it would do to a person if used like normal mako...," Reeve trailed off in a contemplative voice. "It could be disastrous if used by our enemy. But I think I could convert a full scale reactor for immediate production if necessary. Junon _would_ work best due to the reactors' locations."

Rufus gestured in Reeve's direction smugly. "See? Junon is a safe bet. I can take full control of the city. My father often had me sent there, and people became used to my style of work."

"And why can't we just cut our way down to Deepground and handle this issue now?" Zack asked again. "Angeal is below our fucking _feet_. Why doesn't anyone else care? What about the people down there?!"

Cloud grabbed Zack's arm and dragged him close. "I know you want to save them, Zack, but I won't get us all killed trying. We're going to need AVALANCHE or the rest of SOLDIER at our backs. Maybe even both. For that, we need to move cautiously."

Sephiroth looked sympathetically at Zack and said, "I know how you feel, Zackary. There is nothing more that I'd like than to march down there right now and do something, but Cloud is right. If we do that, we could be putting everyone in Midgar in danger if we failed."

"Everyone on Gaia," Cloud corrected.

"SOLDIER is also weak at the moment. We're not done training the next batch, and our ranks are still extremely thin from the disappearance in Wutai. They'll be throwing our own men back at us and expecting us to kill them," Sephiroth continued. "Angeal has held on this long... He can do so a little longer."

Zack frowned darkly. "You say that but all I hear is a big fat 'if' in front. You don't even think he's still alive."

Sephiroth met the frown with one of his own, but it was significantly sadder. "On the contrary... At this point, for his sake, I'm _hoping_ he's dead."

"So what's the plan?" Rufus asked, interrupting the exchange. "I don't have all day, and these meetings, if they were every discovered, could blow our covers sky high."

Cloud thought about it for a moment before answering, "You, Reno, and Reeve will go to Junon and get the reactor ready in secret. We'll need it to show the people that the cessation of mako mining will not be the end of the world. Zack, Aeris, and I will go to find AVALANCHE. Sephiroth will—"

"Be joining you and Zackary," Sephiroth interjected with a sharp smile.

Cloud glared at him as he argued, "You need to go to Junon. No Generals on any base will not work."

"The army will survive a few weeks without us. I'll put a First in charge and it will keep Lazard too busy to plot anything," Sephiroth replied smoothly.

If he hadn't been surrounded by people, Cloud would have said the curse he thought out loud; the man had a point. Instead, he just went silent.

"And where will you go looking for a group of eco-terrorists, who spend their whole lives on the move, and may or may not be formed yet?" Rufus asked mockingly sweet.

"Cosmo Canyon," Cloud said firmly. "It's where they formed initially. If nothing else, there will be clues about where they went."

"Well then," Rufus said with a glance around the room and one of his usual dark grins. "What are we waiting for?"


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. Unfinished. 
> 
> I deeply apologize for a few things: 1. This chapter is abysmally late. 2. Terribly written. 3. Unforgivably short.
> 
> I'd like to take a moment to explain why all these things apply to this chapter. I currently live at home for college, and because of that, I live with my older brother. He is an alcoholic of the worst variety. He has literally not been sober since... my birthday on November 4th. This is why I missed so many chapters.
> 
> Unfortunately, because I was stupid and decided to waste half the day on video games, I cut myself short on chapter writing time. And by the time I started to write, he was already on his second 12 pack of beer. Now I'm having a bit of a family crisis (don't worry, nothing violent) and I cannot think of a single thing to write. I will be writing an extra long chapter next update to make up for this and eventually this chapter will be updated to completion without changing what happens next chapter. Again, my deepest apologies for this lackluster chapter but I figured something was better than nothing.
> 
> On the side, if you or anyone you know has an alcoholic in their life, my hearts go out to them. To be related to one is truly heart wrenching when you come to hate your own flesh and blood. If you or anyone you know has an alcohol problem, please, please, please seek help or encourage them to seek help. You aren't just killing yourself slowly, you're destroying the hearts of your family too.
> 
> Next Update: Nov 20th

As it turned out, there was someone even less enthused about Sephiroth's decision to come along than Cloud.

"I don't see why he has to be a part of this," Aeris muttered sullenly.

Cloud agreed too much with what she said to disagree, but Zack tried his best to raise her spirits in the face of the unexpected company.

"Oh come on," he said brightly. "He's not all bad and having him come with us means that we can work on everyone getting along."

"Sure," Aeris pouted. "I'll just forget what it felt like when his stupid sword cut through my back. Piece of cake."

"Try to remember what it was like when you were an Ancient. You didn't hate him then," Zack encouraged though he still cringed at the mention of her untimely death.

Aeris half-glared at him when she responded, "Problem is, I'm _not_ an Ancient anymore. I can't just summon up the same benevolence as a Cetra if I don't want to feel that way towards a certain person. I think I do pretty well with you and Cloud."

"Yeah, but you love us. We're kind of predisposed to being on your good side."

"Oh I love Cloud, but if you keep poking at me trying to make me play nice with Mr. General, then I can retract my love for you," she said almost snippily, though the joke was evident in her voice.

Zack just smiled and pulled her into a tight hug. "Impossible. No one can resist my charms."

Aeris struggled vainly for a moment before huffing and falling still with a smile that said she really didn't mind the hold. "You're the one who's impossible. Let me go, silly."

"Nope," Zack piped cheerfully.

Content in the knowledge that they were preoccupied, Cloud stepped out of the apartment to discuss the upcoming journey with Sephiroth only to find the man about to knock. The displeased scowl on his face was enough to tell Cloud that he'd been out there long enough to hear what Aeris and Zack were discussing. He frowned even deeper when he laid eyes on Cloud.

"You could have warned me that Jenova had used me to kill her in the past," he hissed moodily.

Cloud just sneered and said, "I could tell you a lot of things. Doesn't mean I will. Just keep your sword away from her and we won't have a problem. I'm sure you can handle someone disliking you. You've put up with me long enough."

"Is it me or has your demeanor towards me _worsened_ as of late?" Sephiroth accused with a sweep of his eyes over Cloud's body.

"Keep your eyes off Zack," Cloud said bluntly.

Sephiroth actually reared back at that and blinked in confusion. "What?" he asked slowly.

"You've been looking at him too much lately. He's being friendly because that's just how he is, but I don't want you getting the wrong idea," he shrugged though his eyes were still narrowed.

"Are you... jealous, Cloud?" Sephiroth asked with a smirk after a minute of silence. "Afraid he's going to leave you for me? Don't tell me you're so insecure as to believe that."

Cloud smirked in return though it didn't match the tone of his snarled response, "Not likely. But I know how you were with him in our past life. Just making sure you weren't holding out any hopes for a break up between us."

"Believe it or not," Sephiroth started dully and the amusement fell off his face. "I don't actually spend every waking moment wondering how to ruin your life. All things considered, I'd like to call you a _friend_ , Cloud. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I do recall Zackary mentioning that friends don't intentionally try to 'screw over' other friends. You can relax; Zackary is attractive, no doubt, but I don't chase things I can't have."

Whatever Cloud was expecting, that wasn't it. It threw him for a loop to the point that he didn't even know what to say in response. How did one react to that?

Instead, he chose to change topics. "We're heading to Costa Del Sol via helicopter in an hour. From there we're going to make our way to Cosmo mostly on foot. We don't want much attention drawn to us, so we're not using a Shinra issued vehicle," he said in a deadpan voice. Call him a coward, but Cloud generally tried to avoid talking about his feelings.

Sephiroth didn't seem to mind the switch, and responded as though the previous conversation never happened, "Fine. I'll be at the landing pad in an hour."

Cloud nodded and walked back into the apartment with nothing more said. Apparently, _he_ was the one who couldn't be trusted to be civil with Sephiroth.

He frowned darkly at no one. Zack wasn't going to rest until they were all getting along swimmingly. It would be so much easier if Sephiroth had just remained in Midgar.

Zack walked into the living room from where he'd been talking with Aeris and grinned at him knowingly.

"You know, I can actually _hear_ you brooding. Come here," Zack purred as he crossed the room to snuggle into Cloud's arms. "Do you need a hug too?"

Cloud snorted at the baby voice his boyfriend used but didn't resist the urge to bury his nose in Zack's hair for comfort. "I'm fine," he muttered. "Just not happy he's coming."

"You're both just being extra sensitive. I know it's still hard to see him, but, really Cloud, you've been back for _years_. You didn't get used to it in all this time? Besides, if he was just going to snap, he's had plenty of chances. He's okay this time," Zack assured as he nuzzled at Cloud's neck. "We're all going to be fine. I promise."

"That's my job," Cloud pointed out. "I'm the one who's supposed to make those promises."

"Nuh-uh," the younger SOLDIER said with a mischievous smile. "Let me have _some_ semblance of protecting you in return. I know you're kind of invincible, but I've got to feel like I'm important too."

"You are important. But that doesn't make the promise game any less my job. You can handle protecting me from the advances of Reno," he concluded with smirk. The jealous pout that took over Zack's face helped to sooth his worries and annoyance from the exchange with Sephiroth; at least he wasn't the only one prone to jealousy. Though, he knew his worries were baseless; Zack wasn't going anywhere.

Still, something about Sephiroth, a man who could have anyone in the world, having _any_ feelings for Zack left him uneasy. Maybe it was ingrained feelings of inadequacy or maybe he was just remembering the days when he had nothing at all to offer Zack, but it filled him with dread whenever his lover spoke highly of the man who stole everything he ever loved. The fear that he'd somehow take Zack too would probably never leave.

* * *

Sephiroth was in a bad mood after speaking with Cloud, a frequent occurrence, and so he spent his last hour before leaving pacing around his apartment.

As much as he wanted to forget what was said, he couldn't quite shake it. He was truly annoyed and slightly guilty for almost no reason.

It was true; lately he'd been looking at Zackary a little too longingly. But that was just because he hadn't been in a relationship recently. He never had any intention of trying to actually pursue him. At this point, Zackary was the closest thing Sephiroth could compare to a best friend. If Cloud had taken Genesis' rank, then Zackary took his place in Sephiroth's heart. And, as was with Genesis, Sephiroth would _not_ risk one of his very few friendships on casual lust.

Regaining his memories had, at first, worsened Zackary's interactions with him, and then they improved to a great degree. He got the feeling that Zackary was trying to keep him sane by keeping him grounded emotionally, but how could he complain? Sephiroth didn't like to admit it, but he craved friendship like a dying plant craved water.

And he'd be a liar to say that he wasn't disappointed that Cloud seemed to be taking two steps back from the progress they had made in working together during the war. Zackary assured him that it was just how Cloud operated; to improve and then regress over and over. Still, Sephiroth felt almost like he was losing what little friendship was between them and it _did_ hurt.

To be regarded as a threat at all times, even after as hard as he worked to be the absolute opposite, cut him at the core. By now, it was clear he'd never grow out of the shadow of what he'd done to Cloud in the past.

The guilt grew when he realized that he might not even deserve to anyway.

It was obvious to anyone who looked that Cloud clearly clung to everything he loved like a vice and shielded it from the world in an attempt to keep it safe. Even more so from Sephiroth. And all of that came from a logical and valid response to losing it all in the past.

Sephiroth knew that if they managed to pull Genesis back from the brink or if Angeal turned up safe and sound, then he'd never let anything hurt them ever again. Even if it meant keeping them out of SOLDIER and away from Shinra. So he couldn't blame Cloud for doing the same with his own friends and loved ones.

At first, he had been upset by it all, but then he made the mistake of mentioning Nibelheim in front of Zackary and watched as the other man broke down. If the loss of the town could hurt Zackary, although he was an emotional individual, who never grew up there, then what must it have done to Cloud to watch it all burn _twice_.

Somehow, he hadn't quite put it all together that, yes, Cloud had already lost his mother in this life. Sephiroth didn't even _have_ one and he knew that it would be a great blow to someone. And Cloud still managed to continue on like nothing happened. Either he had developed a heart of stone or he was distancing himself. Probably both in truth.

Seeing Jenova in Wutai, about to kill Zackary and looking _identical_ to himself, had been the final reminder of why Cloud despised him. It may not be him inside, but that didn't change what one's eyes told them when they looked at her. From his sword in her hand to his face in place of hers. All of it was damning. And she used his voice to taunt and cut at her enemies. His memories to play with their hearts.

If Zackary hadn't gone through suck great lengths to assure him that it wasn't actually himself, he'd be hard pressed to tell the difference.

Sephiroth sighed and pressed the heel of his palm to the bridge of his nose. Now Cloud was afraid that Sephiroth intended to woo his lover. How could he assure him that was _not_ the case?

Cruelest irony was that what attraction he felt towards Zackary was only obvious because of the man's bubbly personality, and, in truth, he felt similar physical attraction to _Cloud_. The man had grown up very nicely from his days as a cadet. Where Zackary was a classic form of handsome, Cloud was a dangerous type of beautiful. From his piercing eyes to his fluid form as he fought. Outwardly, he was almost pretty, but anyone could see from his face that he was a walking weapon. He didn't need large muscles or otherworldly features, like Sephiroth's own hair, to be visually intimidating. Even the air around him seemed to be chilled.

Sephiroth didn't hold any interest in a relationship with Cloud; they were as incompatible as they were hostile to one another. Both too dominant and unwilling to let the other lead. Anything between them would be more a struggle for control than anything else. But he couldn't deny the magnetism that Cloud had.

Cloud and Zackary were an odd couple by all rights, but whatever they had seemed to work. Now, only to make Cloud understand that he had no desire to disrupt that.

If they could get back to the level of cooperation that they had during the war, then Sephiroth would be happy. Perhaps, this trip would present an opportunity for Sephiroth to redeem himself. If nothing else, he could use it as a chance to demonstrate that he can be in Zackary's presence without leering at him.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbetaed. A little Angst and some strange Fluff.
> 
> Thank you all who expressed concern and sympathy after what happened last chapter, it was a bad day for sure, but I'm pretty sturdy emotionally so I bounce back easily. Hopefully it won't interfere with my writing again. Or at least I hope I burn the Skyrim out of my blood before it does so it won't cause the chapter to suck!
> 
> Next Update: After Thanksgiving. I apologize for the zero notice on the missed dates, but I literally had a family of five descend on my house (of already 4 people) until after the holidays. Too busy to write!

Zack had, no doubt, been the most excited person to have all his favorite people along for the trip. Unfortunately, it took about ten minutes into the helicopter ride for him to remember why everyone in one place was a _bad_ idea. No one was outwardly arguing, but the silence spoke for itself. Every time he tried to lighten the mood with a few jokes, they ended up falling flat and no one laughed.

He chewed nervously on his thumb and was undeniably thankful that they were landing now. Being in such close quarters seemed to put everyone in a pissy mood, and Zack was more than sick of it at this point.

He was the first out of the chopper when it landed. Everyone else filed out at a more subdued pace, but he couldn't stand being in there _one_ more minute. It wasn't looking like this was going to be quite as fun as he was hoping, though he should have known when both Aeris and Cloud were so annoyed by it before they even set out.

Still, he had hopes to salvage what was left of their miniature vacation nevertheless.

It made him smile to think back to his youthful annoyance at being placed on leave in Costa Del Sol after what happened in Modeoheim back then. He'd been so wound up about getting back to work that he didn't even enjoy what time he was given to recuperate. If he had known then, that he'd never get a moment of R&R after Nibelheim, he probably would have forced himself to have a good time.

But this wasn't a real vacation, and Zack knew that. They were setting off in search of AVALANCHE in hopes of convincing them to help defend against whatever would be coming out of Deepground.

His stomach knotted up at the knowledge that he was deceiving Cloud. Truth was... Zack knew exactly what kind of people this AVALANCHE consisted of, and he had no hopes of them offering help. Cloud's memories, both the ones inherited from Zack and his own natural ones, were notoriously spotty things and were obviously missing what happened in Icicle, 0002.

Memories of those two SOLDIERs, Essai and Sebastian, left Zack feeling sick. They were captured up at Icicle Inn by the 'scientist' of AVALANCHE and experimented on until they didn't even know who they were anymore. He could still remember the blank stare they focused on him as he tried his best to wake them up from whatever crazy mind control they were under. In the end, the Turk who had been there alongside him ended up just putting them out of their misery. They found out later that they were turned into AVALANCHE's pet project super soldiers called 'Ravens'.

Zack's fingers flexed at the memory of building the pile of stones for each of them to serve as a grave markers at the demolished base.

No one who had any decency in their hearts could do that to people; even their enemies. AVALANCHE wouldn't be any help to their cause, but Zack didn't feel like he had the option to tell them so.

With both Seph and Cloud along, they'd be plenty safe against the Ravens, but having AVALANCHE know about _them_ was what made Zack nervous. The only reason he was going along with all of this was so that he could buy time to find a way to convince them that Lazard didn't need to die. The Director might be misguided, but he didn't deserve death. To hear Rufus and Cloud calmly discussing killing their own _brother_ also chilled Zack's blood.

He knew that neither Cloud nor Rufus held much familial love for one another in the face of their strange ties to one another, but Zack hoped that it might eventually bloom into something a little more fond for the two of them. It'd do Cloud good to have _someone_ left alive that he felt a blood bond with, even if it was Rufus Shinra. And maybe then Rufus could grow to respect Cloud's opinions and decisions concerning how Shinra interacted with the Planet.

Sometimes Zack feared he was being too senitmental in a world that punished sentimentality, or maybe that he was projecting his long buried desire for a sibling on Cloud, but it all became too muddled to really work through. He just generally accepted that he wanted the best for Cloud and tried not to think of much else. Cloud would understand that the best if it was ever necessary for him to explain.

Lately, he'd been worrying about Aeris a lot too.

He snuck a glance at her from out of the corner of his eye and grinned when he saw her hand in Cloud's. She always managed to bring out a side of him that Zack got to see so rarely. It was nice to know that he still cared deeply enough to worry about making her happy with simple things like holding hands.

But becoming a human had really hit Aeris a lot harder than he expected it would at first. His heart clenched as he remembered the burning church. It was something that the timid young woman he'd met as a teenager would have never been able to do. It was something that Cloud's Aeris knew how to handle, and Zack had never really gotten a chance to see those pieces of her.

That wasn't to say he wasn't happy that she did it; losing her would have devastated everyone.

Still, the Aeris he knew in life had been so careful and shy at first. Through plenty of time together, she opened up like one of her beloved flowers in bloom. But that never changed that deep rooted tension she always carried; knowing that her every move was being watched by the Turks. She had, after all, watched her own parents die at a young age too.

> _"The sky frightens me. I feel like it's sucking me in... Weird, huh?"_

He smiled a little sadly. She had been so young and innocent then. It was really no wonder that he'd become enamored with her so quickly. Aeris appealed to everything young in him back then. The naive hope that they'd be able to beat the odds.

By the time Cloud found her all those years later, the girl who had been afraid of the sky was twirling a quarterstaff around with ease and well versed in materia. Somewhere between the time Zack got captured and when Cloud met her, she must have needed to learn how to defend herself. For what reason, Zack neevr asked.

Looking through Cloud's eyes at the time had been surreal. With most of his soul joined with Cloud, he'd been able to be there for the ride and it was strange to see her so... strong. She'd always had the potential, he knew that because she did eventually lose all fear of him when they were together, but by that point she didn't have the luxury of being afraid anymore.

Willing to charge into Sector 7 with the knowledge that it was all about to collapse and bravely charging into battle with some of the biggest creatures on Gaia alongside Cloud. Aeris proved more times than necessary that she wasn't a kid anymore and she was willing to do what was needed to survive, but, even with all of that, she never did it out of malice. Now, he wasn't so sure that it was beyond her anymore.

Her eyes darkened when she looked at Seph and she looked almost like she wanted to put herself in between him and Cloud; the same way Cloud did that for her.

She'd never be Turk-levels of cold, but he could see the difference. It wouldn't surprise him to see her want to take a stronger position in the coming fight than to be locked up tight like a valuable trinket.

It was probably too much to ask her to be anything like she was before anyway. Without Ancient blood, she was just like everyone else now. Zack may be pretty damn good at forgiving, but even he knew what it was to hate. Nothing would ever make him forgive Hojo. So why should he expect Aeris to forgive the people who stole her life?

"You're broooooding, Zack," she said in a sing-song voice, startling him out of his thoughts. "That's not like you. Now cheer up."

He turned around and gave as relaxed a smile as he could manage. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me, okay?"

Aeris didn't look convinced, but she still had an amused smile on her face as she said, "You're a terrible liar Mr. Fair. Leave the brooding to Cloud, he's a master at it."

Cloud didn't say anything, but he raised a single eyebrow with a glance at her. Zack snickered at the sight and fell back in pace to take hold of Cloud's other hand. He was rewarded with a raised eyebrow in his own direction, so he grinned at his boyfriend.

"I felt lonely. Love me," he cooed as he tried to snuggle up to Cloud while they continued to walk. At the sound of Seph's responding snort from to their left, Zack stuck his tongue out at his friend.

Cloud still didn't say anything but he did wrap an arm around Zack's waist and tugged him even closer; much to Zack's pleasure.

"She's right," Cloud purred into his ear privately. "Stop worrying so much. It doesn't suit you."

He pressed his cheek to Cloud's shoulder and sighed. "I know. Just... not sure about all of this. I hope it all works out for the best, but I'm... Well damn, Cloud, I'm scared. And I'm not too big to admit it. Whatever Hojo is planning is going to be _big_ and... I want us to all walk away unscathed. You know what I mean? But... already we're not unscathed, and that's what really gets me."

"We're going to be fine, Zack. I'll take the whole world on before I let anyone take you or Aeris away from me."

Zack smiled bitterly at his lover and whispered, "There's more to our lives then just each other, Cloud. I want _everyone_ to make it. Y'know?"

Cloud didn't meet his eyes again and Zack knew that, no, Cloud did _not_ know. And that's what scared him most of all.

* * *

Zack's words left Cloud feeling somewhat guilty again. It was so easy to forget that Aeris and Zack may be his whole world, but he wasn't necessarily theirs. They had other people they needed to protect. Their parents, Zack's friends, the rest of the AVALANCHE that he and Aeris were a part of... All people Cloud deemed almost non-essential, save Yuffie.

When had he become so focused in on his small bubble that he was willing to write off the rest of the world as collateral damage?

He'd never liked being called a 'hero', but that didn't mean that he avoided all the duties of one. When someone had the kind of power that he did coursing through their veins, didn't he have an obligation to save lives? Anything less would be a waste.

His eyes roamed the ground for a moment looking for something to say, but, in the end, a quiet, "You're right," was all he managed. Zack still looked appreciative.

Cloud ruminated on that as they walked through Costa Del Sol. The beach resort town bustled around them and Cloud though back to when he and Zack had walked through on their way to join SOLDIER only a few short years ago. They'd had their 'first' kiss here. He could still remember the wonder and delight in Zack's eyes that day.

Of course, so shortly after, he'd been once again reminded that this wasn't a pleasure trip to the past to get laid. Finding the clone aboard the ship, something he still could not explain, had been an unwelcome wake up call. Nothing had ever come of it, maybe because he disabled its life-support, so it faded from the forefront of his mind. Whatever purpose it was meant to serve must not have been critical, because everything went to hell anyway.

Should he have moved quicker? Could he have moved quicker? Would Angeal and Genesis still be around if he had?

When he came back, he thought that would be the end of all the self-doubt, because he had a chance to do everything over. He was wrong though; even when he knew what was coming, he still managed to make mistakes that will likely cost lives.

It was worth the twisted, bitter smile that crept onto his face. If all the people who called him 'perfect' could see him now. Cloud Strife, the worst hero ever. Or maybe the most moral villain. Anti-hero? Nothing really felt like it fit, but the thought of it all still haunted him.

He should donate some of his personal issues to the haunted house at Gold Saucer, Cloud thought, because his head was fucking _full_ of ghosts.

They ended up renting a dune buggy on the edge of town to get through the desert around Gold Saucer and traveled southwest till it grew too dark for them to react to creatures in their path. They decided to set up camp a little north of the Bay of Helios, where the Gelnika would one day sink, because Aeris liked the smell of the ocean.

In fact, she used the beach as an excuse to bolt the moment they stopped as to avoid setting up camp. Cloud just rolled his eyes in amusement; it was something she'd done often while they traveled with AVALANCHE. Zack even tried to use the same tactic, but found himself in a hold so strong that he couldn't dream of trying to escape. Even still, he kicked and writhed in an attempt to free himself.

"No such luck," Cloud whispered seductively to the squirming captive in his arms. "You're going to help, and you're going to like it."

Zack whimpered like a pouting animal and looked up at him with pleading eyes. "I'm allergic to work, Cloud. You'll make me sick. Have a heart."

He smiled down at his lover and pressed a kiss to his forehead, that, despite his desire to run away, Zack still leaned into obediently. With a final purr of, "I don't think so," he released Zack and went back to setting up their tents. Zack, to his credit, just whimpered a little more and went to work building a fire.

"You know," Sephiroth started from where he was setting up his own tent. "I do believe you told me an interesting word awhile back Zackary, and I think it can be aptly applied to your current situation."

Zack glared at the other man in response and hissed, "Don't you dare."

"What was it?" Sephiroth pondered aloud with a devious smirk. "Oh yes, _whipped_."

Cloud blinked with a blank expression at the fact that the word 'whipped' had just come out of Sephiroth's mouth, and then at the fact that Zack howled in mock anger and launched himself at the man.

The two fought playfully, or rather Zack slapped uselessly at Sephiroth and Sephiroth dodged. Nothing about it seemed to put Zack in danger, so Cloud allowed himself to continue setting up the tent, but he never once took his eyes off of them. Still, the sight of Sephiroth being _playful_ was so strange that Cloud was dumbstruck. Did Zack really have that effect on everyone on Gaia?

He scowled very slightly at the realization that it was almost _cute_.

Then a little more at the reminder that he was more than likely becoming a curmudgeon. Or more of one than he already was at least. Sometimes he wondered what Zack saw in him at all other than the fact that Cloud clung to him like a safety blanket.

He had to reason that looks had to be part of it. Cloud wasn't stunningly gorgeous or even all that handsome by his own standard, but apparently he had something going for him or so all the offers from various people told him. It was a phenomena he attributed to being the 'savior' of Gaia before, but it had continued in this life after he grew into his normal proportions.

Familiarity might be part of it as well, but Zack had never been shy about trying new things. And something had to keep Sephiroth and Zack apart in their last life, but Cloud couldn't place his finger on what it was. Though, in all honesty, it wasn't his place to know.

Cloud sighed at the train of thought and turned his full attention to the tent; Zack would be fine.

However, Zack heard the sound and turned to look at him oddly. "What's wrong, Cloud?"

"I think," he started before he remembered the current company and pausing. He looked up and accidentally met Sephiroth's eyes and found them startlingly warm, perhaps because of his playing with Zack, and vaguely concerned. With another sigh, he looked away and finished anyway with, " _I'm_ the one who needs to stop worrying so much."

"Can—Can I get that in writing?" Zack stuttered as he immediately dove towards Cloud to hug him.

Unable to resist, Cloud smiled at the tight hug he received for his admission. Maybe he should say things like that more often; they seemed to make Zack happy. Pretty much anything that implied that Cloud was going to take better care of himself made Zack happy.

After that, they all settled in for the night and spent a few hours around the campfire. Aeris and Zack told stories, mostly to one another, but Cloud still listened and Sephiroth seemed to be paying an inordinate amount of attention to all of it. He looked like a child learning to read for the first time.

In some senses, he might be very similar to one as well. Watching Zack and Aeris proved to be a very good way to learn how to be a normal human being in ways that Angeal and Genesis probably couldn't ever show him, and Cloud certainly was no help.

Zack and Aeris ended up falling asleep first, so Cloud just laid by Zack's side and stared up at the stars. He'd likely get up after Sephiroth was asleep to clear the area of monsters that might be creeping up on them, but it was taking forever for the other man to drift off. That, and he seemed to be staring at them, or so the hairs on the back of Cloud's neck told him.

After an hour and a half of waiting, he sat up and glared at the other man through the darkness. He met the glowing green eyes with a annoyance.

"Why won't you go to sleep?" he hissed.

"I was wondering the same about you," came the smooth reply.

"I don't sleep," Cloud explained in a deadpan tone.

"Why not?" Sephiroth inquired, sitting up to match Cloud.

Cloud scowled but answered anyway, "Dreams. Often violent ones. Don't want to lash out and hurt Zack, and I don't want to open a connection that Jenova can exploit."

Sephiroth blinked silently at first before responding, "She can... take hold through dreams?"

"She can take control through anything that lets her enter your mind, and dreams do that. I've never been controlled through dreams, but I still don't like taking a chance."

"I... see," Sephiroth whispered in an almost worried tone. "I suppose it best to tell you then. I've been dreaming vividly since receiving your cells. I dreamt through... what I assumed to be her eyes. She used my body, so it was like being inside my own, and I was able to see a little bit of where they were hiding but never anything identifying. It looked like a cave system, but being underneath Midgar would explain. I never felt as though my own mind was being entered this way, but... should I be eschewing sleep as well as a precaution?"

Cloud didn't actually know what to say; both in response to being confided in and in response to what was asked.

"I—," Cloud mumbled. "I don't know. If the dreams aren't nightmares, then sleep is fine I think. I mostly avoid it because of what I dream about."

"What do you dream about?" Sephiroth pressed in an interested tone.

"Losing the people I love," he responded borderline viciously before pulling back and reminding himself that there was no point taking it out on this Sephiroth; he didn't know anything.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth offered, surprising Cloud slightly. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Cloud wasn't filled with a divine level of forgiveness the way movies made it out to be when your longtime enemy finally apologizes. He wasn't even able to summon the slightest bit of it in fact, but he wasn't angry either. Because, the facts were, this Sephiroth had nothing to apologize for, so how could he hope to make amends for sins he never committed?

"Don't be," he said instead as he stood, grabbed his sword, and walked away. Once again, he knew that Zack and Aeris would be in no danger alone with him.

* * *

Sephiroth, however, wasn't quite so eager to end the almost civil discussion so he decided to follow the moody blond to wherever he was headed.

Catching up wasn't difficult; his legs were longer and his strides wider. But as he approached, he kept his hand ready to draw his sword in case Cloud was not in any mood for company. In fact, he was so sure that he was going to be attacked for following, that he twitched in the direction of Masamune's hilt when Cloud did eventually turn around to glare at him. The glare only worsened at the fact that Cloud noted the twitch for what it was.

"Go back," Cloud growled as he continued to walk away. Already, his patience was thinning from what Sephiroth could hear in his voice.

"I'd like to join you," Sephiroth explained carefully as he moved to walk alongside Cloud; the man was always extraordinarily tense when Sephiroth was behind him.

"No."

Sephiroth actually snorted at that. "Stop being childish. We fought together in Wutai did we not? I managed not to accidentally attack you then, didn't I?"

"I'm not afraid of you attacking me," Cloud responded in a tone so assured that Sephiroth had no doubts that the man was very much confident in his ability to kill Sephiroth if the need should arise. Even Sephiroth had no doubts about that much these days.

"Then you've got no ground to refuse the company."

"How about I just want to be alone?"

"More like you just want to run from your problems; namely me. Once again, I'd like to talk and try to fix things and you decide it's not even worth trying. Please don't tell me this is how you handle _all_ your personality conflicts?" Sephiroth asked, working to keep his tone good natured.

"Actually," Cloud started in a tone that almost sounded amused. "It generally is."

"You realize it's extremely ineffective, don't you?"

Cloud shrugged, finally relaxing the tension through his shoulders enough to tell Sephiroth his company had been reluctantly accepted. "Zack kills them with kindness, Aeris flips things around on people till they agree with her, and I just ignore my problems till the person in question dies."

"That's...," Sephiroth muttered. "Incredibly macabre."

"It's how I am."

"Perhaps you'd be interested in trying another tactic for experimentations sake?" Sephiroth suggested hopefully.

"Why change what works?" Cloud retorted with a sharp smile.

"Be careful. Your Shinra blood is showing."

"You never met my mother," Cloud chuckled though it sounded more like broken glass in a blender. "She was a very... fiery woman when addressing someone she wasn't particularly fond of. Comes from being ostracized by the whole town for years."

"Why was that?" Sephiroth asked before he realized it might be in bad tastes considering it was him who once killed the woman. "I'm... sure she was still very nice," he added quickly.

"Zack liked her," Cloud admitted. "The town was harsh on unwed mothers. And harsh is a very big understatement."

"You've not...," Sephiroth started slowly. "Visibly mourned for her, I've noticed."

"No time to mourn," the blond explained with a sigh, "Besides, I watched her die once... It wasn't so hard the second time around."

"That's not normal," he blurted foolishly. "Certainly it still hurt. I don't even know Vincent Valentine, but I'm quite certain I'd be aggrieved to know he was dead. I even felt a modicum of sadness when we were under the impression that Hojo was dead. Not much, but something, because he did by all rights raise me."

Cloud shot him a funny look before saying, "You're right; it's not normal. Don't follow my example."

Sephiroth intended to say more but the sound of claws on soil prompted him and Cloud to both draw their swords. With a shared look for understanding, they crept forward towards the rock formation that stood in their path; the sound had come from behind it. Each of them took a separate side as they snuck around it carefully.

" _Wa~~rk."_

All tension fled from his body as he saw what was waiting on the other side.

It was a wild chocobo, something he'd not seen for quite some time since they were exceedingly rare around Midgar and nonexistent in Wutai. Cloud didn't seem quite as awestruck, and actually looked a little annoyed that his chance for a fight was dashed.

The large bird seemed to hold no fear of them, probably because of how close it lived to Costa Del Sol, and instead warked again almost as if in greeting.

Sephiroth approached the nearly docile bird and took off his glove to pet its fluffy yellow head.

"It's a mother," Cloud mentioned as he leaned against the rock formation.

"How do you know?" he asked as he continued to pet the content creature.

"It's warming eggs," Cloud responded as if Sephiroth was an idiot. And, as he drew back and looked down at the nest it was sitting in, he indeed felt like one.

"I... see."

The bird tilted its head to look at Cloud and chirped a long, " _Wa~~rk_."

"I don't have any greens," Cloud said with a glare at the bird.

"You're even mean to animals; why am I even surprised?" Sephiroth quipped.

"I've got a history with chocobos," Cloud muttered distastefully.

A moment later, the bird rose from the nest and took a step towards Cloud with another adoring wark.

"Don't you even think about—!" Cloud started, but it was too late, the bird craned its head in and nipped at his hair; much to Sephiroth's immense amusement.

"I see what you mean, Cloud," Sephiroth remarked with a slightly mocking tone. "A long history indeed. Long lost cousins perhaps?"

"You make another chocobo joke," Cloud hissed. "And it will be the last joke you ever make."

"I suppose you've heard them all."

"You have no fucking clue," the blond snarled as he stepped away from the interested bird. "I'm going back to camp now. Have fun playing petting zoo."

Sephiroth couldn't stop the chuckle that escaped him as he watched Cloud stalk off. The chocobo looked a little sad though and returned to warming its eggs afterwards.

He stayed behind and continued to pet the bird gently for some time. It was an oddly soothing activity that took his mind off the emotional rollercoaster of the day's events, and the bird seemed to genuinely enjoy it.

Perhaps he should invest in a chocobo from the farm near Midgar. They were certainly very friendly birds. His whole life had been spent using military vehicles so he'd never really had many experiences the large transport animals.

His opinion, however, changed very quickly with the return of the male chocobo who seemed to lack its mate's fondness for humans.

He would deny to his dying day that he ran when the bull chocobo decided to charge, but it would be useless because he caught up to Cloud quicker than expected. The other man laughed longer and harder than Sephiroth had ever heard from him as he pulled out some materia and cast it on the charging chocobo, causing it to stop in its tracks and approach Cloud as docile as the mother had.

"I see you don't carry a chocobo lure materia," Cloud gloated smuggly as he pet the head of the bull. "You should probably invest in one."

"I could have easily have killed the animal," he said angrily with a glare in the bull's direction. "But I didn't want to widow the other."

"Sephiroth, savior of chocobo marriages," Cloud crowed sarcastically, still with plenty of humor coloring his tone.

Sephiroth was duly embarrassed, but the annoyance receded with the realization that he'd actually made _Cloud_ laugh. He wondered if this is why Zackary had been so amazed when Sephiroth had done the same the first time, and if this is what he'd felt.

"Perhaps I should add that to my long list of titles," he offered with a shrug and a small smile.

"Oh don't worry," Cloud said somewhat viciously, but it was clear it was simply his way of being taunting. "I'm never going to let you live it down."

With that, he released the bull from the materia and Sephiroth was forced to rear back as it snipped angrily at him again. Cloud chuckled and continued to walk back to camp. Sephiroth followed as soon as the bird lost interest in favor of returning to its family.

They ended up walking back in companionable silence that gave Sephiroth hope that maybe there was still a chance for them to be something other than enemies and rivals.

"Get some sleep," Cloud said offhandedly as they reached camp. "I'll keep a look out for any rogue chocobos."

Sephiroth glared, but it was accompanied by a smile.


End file.
